Destiny

by Mitchel Grace

  “Sorry. My friend didn’t cancel this time. We could probably get you a ticket at the game, but I don’t think it would be anywhere near us,” he said.

  “That’s all right. Maybe next year I can buy some tickets near you two.”

  “I wouldn’t count on it. I had to wait six years to finally get a call about my season tickets. The only way you get those around here is if someone dies. I’m sure we’ll be able to get you to a few games, though. You’re welcome to come tailgate with us. My friends still remember you as that kid who punched a Chicago player, so you’re well-liked.”

  “It’s okay. I have some things I should probably do anyway.”

  The truth was that I had no idea what I was going to do that day. I started with actually getting dressed. While I was getting ready, a thought occurred to me. I hadn’t talked to Richard yet. I really didn’t want to, but for some reason, I felt like I should. It was decided. I went back downstairs and grabbed my keys. Before I could go, my aunt stopped me.

  “Where are you going so early?” she asked.

  “I’m going to talk to Richard.”

  “Why would you do that? Gary told me about what happened, and it doesn’t sound like a good idea. Why don’t you just let this lie? What do you even have to say to him anyway?”

  “I need to apologize.”

  Aunt Kristen paused for a second to think. This didn’t sound like something I would come up with on my own, and she knew it. Her husband might do something like this, though.

  “Your uncle has gotten in your ear about this, hasn’t he?” she asked.

  “Kind of, but I think he’s right. I don’t regret doing whatever it took to get Olivia, but that still doesn’t change the fact that I was wrong on some level.”

  “Eric, I’m all for doing the right thing, but sometimes doing what’s right means doing nothing at all. You should let this go. If you don’t, it’s just going to cause more problems.”

  “I don’t understand. Why would he tell me to do this if it wasn’t the right thing?”

  “Because technically it is the right thing to do. You should always admit when you’re wrong and apologize. Not everyone is ready to hear an apology, though. Pick your timing. The one bad thing I can say about my husband is that he’s never known quite how to do that.”

  “So when would be the right time to talk to him? It’s not like I want to, but it might make things easier if he at least knows I regret what I did.”

  “Wait a year, and then do it in a place where you know he’s not going to do anything violent. Young love can be a funny thing. We think we’re so close to the one we’re with, but it’s usually not as important as we thought. Right now, he probably believes that you stole the love of his life. Why wouldn’t he hate you? I would give him time to realize that Olivia was just one of many girls before he finds who he really wants to be with. Then you can tell him, and he might not be too angry.”

  “That makes sense. I have a question, though. You said that when we’re young, we think the person we’re with is more important than they really are. Do you think that’s how things will go with me and Olivia eventually? Am I too invested in her?”

  “I can’t answer that for you. I will say that you seem really invested in her for someone who just got back here. Maybe that’s because you lost your family and you’re looking for someone to hold onto, or maybe it’s because she’s really worth fighting for. Time will tell, but Eric, never make someone such a priority that you lose yourself for them. You’re only sixteen, and the main thing you need to concentrate on right now isn’t a girl or the rivalry you have with Richard. It’s your education and what you want to do with the rest of your life. You need to be developing dreams and goals. If you and Olivia are meant to be together, then her path will meet with yours in the end.”

  “That sounds smart. I’ll give my future some real thought. I do need her right now, though. During the two months before I got here, I felt lost. With her, I feel like I’m right where I’m supposed to be. Even if that’s temporary, I think I want to hold onto it for as long as I can.”

  “You know I’m here for you, too, right?”

  “I know, and I appreciate it. I have no idea why you guys took me in. You didn’t have to. You barely know me. I’m so glad that you did, though.”

  “Of course we took you in. You’re family, even if we haven’t been around each other much. Honestly, having you here has been nicer than you know. I wasn’t able to have children when I was younger. I thought your uncle would leave me when I found out. He always wanted children, and I would never be able to give them to him. It turned out that he loved me more than the idea of a big family. We got used to it just being us, but still, it’s nice to have you around. It gives us a taste of what things might have been like.”

  “I didn’t know all that. I’m sorry . . .”

  “There’s nothing to be sorry about. It turns out that we might not make good parents. In two days, the boy we’ve been taking care of has stolen someone’s girlfriend and gotten punched in the face. We’re not even punishing him either,” she joked.

  “Thanks. I’ll try to do better. I promise.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. Olivia and her mom are leaving for church in a little while. You should go with them. I’m sure it would make a good impression on Heather if you did.”

  “Heather?”

  “Yeah, that’s her mother’s name. She’s fairly religious. I can be, too, at times, but her mom has been in church every time the doors were open lately. I think she’s looking for a good guy for her daughter. It might not hurt to play the part. You could find that it fits.”

  Church . . . that sounded like just about the worst idea in the world. I was still angry about a lot of things, and walking through church doors while I had so much hate in my heart seemed dumb. Then again, Olivia’s mother had a million reasons not to believe I was right for her daughter. Why not give her one to think otherwise? I agreed to go and walked next door. When Olivia answered, she looked a little shocked to see me.

  “Hey, I was thinking I might try your church out today, if you don’t mind,” I said.

  “You know we can do some things separate, right? I mean, you don’t want to suffocate me right off, do you?” she asked sarcastically.

  “I didn’t mean to . . .”

  “Oh, come on, Eric. You still don’t know when I’m joking? I can stand a little suffocation. Come in.”

  “Who was that?” I heard her mom call out.

  “It’s just Eric. He’s going to ride to church with us. I think he’s using God to spend more time with me. It’s all right, though. I’m fine with it,” she joked.

  “Hey, don’t say that. I was trying to make a good impression on your mom,” I whispered.

  “Relax. It’s going to take a long time before she completely approves of you. For now, just be you. If you want to come to church with me, then do it, but if this is just to make her like you more, you should go home and come see me after I get back. I want you to be who you are and nothing more.”

  “You’re right. I should just be me. The truth is that I only came over here because I wanted to spend some more time with you. I’m still not completely sure if I’m all right with going back into a church, but I don’t think my skin will burn from walking through the doors or anything like that.”

  “No, an innocent boy like you will probably fit right in. You can take a pledge for purity and . . .”

  “All right, I can see now that I should have never told you I was a virgin. I’m not going to live that down, am I?”

  “You shouldn’t have told her that you were a what?” Heather asked as she walked into the room.

  “Um . . . I . . .” I said and froze.

  “He told me he was originally from Virginia,” Olivia finally said.

  “Wait a minute. I thought Eric was from Miami.”

  “He is, but he lived in Virginia when he was really little.”

  “Okay, but wh
y shouldn’t he have told you that? I don’t get it.”

  “It’s an inside joke, Mom. Let’s just go,” Olivia said and walked to the door.

  Her mom simply smiled. She had heard our conversation, and she knew exactly what we were talking about. I think it was just fun for her to give us a hard time. If anything, learning that I was a virgin was probably a relief to her. I imagine she thought that meant I was good on some level and that she didn’t need to worry about her daughter being alone with me. Oh, how wrong she was about that.

  Once we were on the road, I noticed something strange. There didn’t seem to be many cars around. As a matter of fact, the whole place looked like a ghost town. I had never seen a city so empty.

  “What’s going on? Where is everyone?” I asked.

  “This is normal,” Olivia said.

  “Okay, but why?”

  “It’s football season. The stadium holds almost more people than there are in this town. It’s kind of funny. The churches are full in the spring and summer, but during this time of year, not many people are doing much besides watching the games,” Heather explained.

  I truly was in a bizarre place filled with green and gold garbage cans and people who bled the colors. I didn’t get it. I would later on, but for then, it just seemed like these people put too much emphasis on something that didn’t really matter at all.

  Once we made it to the church, I discovered one really bad thing. Richard went to the same church as Olivia. I felt odd about sitting next to her during Sunday school. He kept glaring at me. I didn’t believe he would do anything rash in the church, but I knew it was a good idea not to test that theory. When class finally ended, I pulled Olivia to the side.

  “Hey, what should I do about him?” I asked while glancing over at Richard as he walked out.

  “You noticed the looks, too, huh? I don’t know. I probably need to talk to him. Maybe I can smooth things over.”

  “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

  “No, but it’s better than doing nothing.”

  We walked out into the auditorium, and I sat two rows behind Richard. Olivia, meanwhile, sat down beside him. I could hear everything she was saying to him.

  “We need to talk,” she said.

  “There’s nothing to talk about. I gave you everything you could ask for, and what did you do? You screwed the first person who showed an interest in you. You’re dead to me.”

  “Lower your voice. We’re in church, and we don’t need to spill a bunch of garbage here. You’re wrong.”

  “What am I wrong about?”

  “I didn’t sleep with him. I kissed him. That was wrong to do, and I’m sorry. This isn’t going to be easy for you to hear, but I need to say it to give both of us some closure. I never loved you. I liked being around you, and I enjoyed how much of a gentleman you always were, but I didn’t feel the same way as you. I should have, and when I think about it, I still kick myself. It would have been so much easier if I had loved you. You’re everything a girl is supposed to want, but I just didn’t feel it. I don’t think I was ever going to either. I feel that with him. I’m sorry, but I thought it was better to follow what I knew in my heart was right. I’m not right for you, and you deserve better. Now you can find it. Thank you for everything you’ve always done. I know you might never understand why I’m doing this, but I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me some day,” she said and walked away.

  As Olivia took a seat beside me, I noticed the expression on Richard’s face. It wasn’t of anger or confusion. It was of complete depression. He loved Olivia the way I did, but she had never loved him. It was enough to make even the hardest of men question everything about themselves. Why couldn’t she love him? What was wrong with him? How could he have read the situation so wrong? Was it something he did? Those were the thoughts that I imagined were running through his mind.

  Once I finally took my eyes off him, I looked over at Olivia to see that her normally cheerful expression had changed. She looked like she was on the edge of tears. Even if she didn’t love Richard, he had still been very important to her. Hurting him in such a way was almost unbearable for her. I wrapped one arm around her and pulled her close. No words had to be spoken. I knew what she was going through, and she knew that I was right there for her.

  The sermon would end up being about forgiveness, which I thought was appropriate. It focused on how we have to forgive others in order to be forgiven ourselves. I figured that after the message, it was time to talk to Richard. If he believed in things like Hell, surely he would at least consider hearing an apology from me. I stood and walked up to him. Before he could say a word, I spoke.

  “I want to apologize. What I did to you was wrong. I ruined your relationship, and then I antagonized you at the party. That led to all of this. I’m completely at fault for everything, and I wouldn’t be much of a person if I didn’t ask for your forgiveness. That’s what the sermon was about today. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me for everything I’ve done to you?”

  “Let me say this in the clearest way possible. I would rather burn in Hell than ever tell you that what you did was forgiven. Talk to me again at any point, and I’ll make that even clearer by ripping your head off. I don’t care where it’s at either. If you don’t leave right now, I’ll do it here in church.”

  I didn’t know what to do. I was a little angry about how he had talked to me, but what else should I have expected? Just like my aunt said, it was too soon. I simply nodded and walked away.

  “I take it that went well,” Olivia said sarcastically.

  “Yeah, I don’t think we’re ever going to be friends.”

  “Don’t worry about it. He has everything he needs. Honestly, what I had with him wasn’t going to last anyway. He’s a senior, and he’ll be going off to college next year. It’s probably better that he can just focus on football and find someone once he gets to college. Besides, you don’t really regret coming between us, do you?”

  “No, I could never regret that. I just wish I had gone about it differently. Maybe this was the only way, though.”

  “Maybe. Let’s get out of here. My mom is waiting on us outside.”

  Once we were in the car, Olivia’s mother asked me how things went with Richard.

  “Let’s just say that if I come up missing, you’ll know what happened,” I said.

  “So it’s that bad? Hopefully all of this will blow over quickly for you two.”

  “I doubt it, but do you mind if I go somewhere with Eric for a while when we get home?” Olivia asked.

  “Where are you going?”

  “There’s somewhere I want to show him. It won’t take long.”

  “Okay. Just be home before dinner.”

  I looked at Olivia curiously. Where was she taking me? My mind ran wild with thoughts of where we could be going. Once we got into her car, I saw that we were driving out of town.

  “What are we doing?” I asked.

  “I’m showing you something. Just wait,” she said and focused on the road.

  We drove completely out of town and into an area where no one seemed to live. As we rounded a corner by the lake, she pulled off to the side of the road.

  “I don’t understand. What are we looking at?” I asked.

  “My dream, if I have to stay in this area.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Do you see that hillside over there?” she asked and pointed to a place overlooking the lake.

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m going to own that spot of land one day. I’ll build a big house that overlooks the lake. In the summer, my family and I will go swimming, and in the winter, we’ll be able to go ice-skating. It’s a beautiful place that I wish you could see in the winter. It truly looks like paradise here.”

  I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what to say. Why would she be telling me all this? Wasn’t it too soon for us to be talking about where we were going to spend our lives?

 
; “Don’t look so freaked out. I wasn’t suggesting that you were going to get to live there,” she teased.

  “Hey, I wouldn’t mind being here with you. Why show me this place if I’m not going to be here one day?”

  “Because I want to share my plan with you. This is my dream. I may never have this place or the big house I want, but I have it all up here,” Olivia said while motioning to her head.

  “I wish I had it all figured out like you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I have no idea what I even want. A part of me still feels like that fourteen-year-old you met so long ago. I want something simple like this where I can just grow old with the people I love. Then there’s the new part of me that busted my butt in school for the last year and a half. That part wants to do something big. I haven’t figured out which side of myself is going to win yet.”

  “How about this then? We’re incredibly young to be making plans. Maybe you can try out your big plans first, and if things don’t work out, I’ll be here in my simple house overlooking the lake. Think of it as a back up plan that we both might want more than the big one.”

  Her explanation sounded perfect. I could try to be someone important in the world and have this as another option. If only I had known that our back up plan should have been the only one I ever considered.

  Chapter 11

  Passion

  December

  Almost three months had passed, and a lot had changed. Olivia and I were closer than ever, and I was starting to think seriously about my future. My parents had wanted it all. Their methods to get it were very questionable, but their ambition was admirable. I had decided that I wanted to be someone important in this world. Sure, Olivia had dreams of a house on the lake, but she also had dreams of getting completely out of Wisconsin. Maybe I could make her second dream come true some day.

  As we were sitting in class and finishing up with the last midterm before school was out for winter break, I saw her shoot me an interesting look. She lightly bit her lip when our eyes met and looked as if something was weighing on her. She was clearly questioning something, but what was it? I didn’t have a clue, but it didn’t look like it was particularly bad. In fact, her expression showed a certain kind of excitement mixed with confusion.