Destiny

by Mitchel Grace

  “Mr. Wilson, are you having trouble keeping your eyes on your own paper?” I heard the teacher ask.

  “No, just keeping them off a girl. I apologize,” I said and returned back to my test.

  It was easy enough. Over the last few weeks, I had really put a lot into making good grades. I wanted a bright future, and it all started there. I was considering going to school for business. I didn’t know what that would lead to, but it seemed to open a lot of doors for people. I guess I figured if I knew how to manage money, then that would be a good start to gaining wealth.

  When the test was over, we walked out to my car. We had driven together that morning, and like on most Fridays, I assumed we would grab a bite to eat after school. I had gotten a job at an ice cream parlor working Monday thru Thursday. It wasn’t glamorous, but it paid for things like that.

  “Where are you going?” Olivia asked.

  “I was thinking we could go to the usual spot today.”

  “I don’t know. Maybe we should change things up. We could get out of town and explore something completely new. My mom knows I’m going to be out late, so we’ll have plenty of time to explore.”

  “All right, but where do you want to go?”

  “I haven’t thought that far ahead. Just drive. We’ll know it when we see it.”

  “What’s going on with you?”

  “What are you talking about? I’m fine.”

  “You looked troubled during the midterm. It was like you were trying to make a very hard choice, and judging by how you were looking at me, I think I was part of it. Nothing’s wrong, is it?”

  “No, it’s actually the opposite. I don’t know how to say this, though.”

  “Just try me. As long as we’re fine, then I can handle it.”

  “I think we need to have a romantic evening at a nice restaurant and find a private place for just us until tonight. Like . . . maybe a hotel.”

  “You weren’t joking about there being nothing wrong,” I teased.

  “Be serious, Eric. I joke about a lot of things but not about this. We’ve been together for three months now. It’s been great, and I’m scared to change one thing about our relationship. That’s why I haven’t already suggested that we get closer. I’m afraid that it’ll complicate things.”

  “How would it do that? If anything, this is only going to bring us closer together.”

  “You don’t know that. You haven’t been with anyone, so how could you?”

  “First of all, thanks a lot. Secondly, I know because it’s you.”

  “Sex complicates things. It makes the relationship a very real thing, or at least it does for me. It means complete commitment to each other.”

  “I’m already completely committed to you, so nothing’s changing.”

  “What about the expectations? It’s never how you pictured it. It’s usually a little awkward at first. What are you going to think if this experience isn’t everything you’ve built up in your mind? What am I going to think? Won’t it change how we view each other?”

  “Wow. I didn’t know it was so complicated. How can I explain this? I don’t have any expectations. Our experience together could be amazing, or it could be less than you desire. For me, it’s going to be great either way because I get to be with you. If you don’t want to do this, I’ll understand. Just because we’ve been together for a while doesn’t mean that we have to. I can tell you this, no matter what you decide. I’ll always do my best to love you the way you deserve, regardless of how we’re choosing to show it.”

  “I think you’re right. It’s not about expectations. It’s about being with each other. It can’t be a bad thing if it’s with you. How did you get so knowledgeable about these things as a virgin, though? I thought I was going to be the one teaching tonight,” Olivia joked.

  “Hey, I’ll still accept lessons anytime.”

  “All right, enough about this. We should have let things happen spontaneously. Let’s just pretend that we never had this conversation, and you’re surprising me with a romantic getaway. You know, as the guy, you really should have been the one to bring this up.”

  “Are you joking? I was giving you time. We talked about it a long time ago, didn’t we?”

  “Maybe, but I was starting to wonder about you. I’m just saying. You never did make a move.”

  “Well, I’ve come up with a very nice restaurant choice that comes highly recommended from a trusted source.”

  “The source is your uncle, isn’t it?”

  “Um . . . the source isn’t important. What’s important is that I’ve got this all planned out in my mind, and with how expensive that place is, I’m almost guaranteed to end up at a hotel with my girl.”

  “Oh, so you think an expensive meal is supposed to get you somewhere. I’m starting to rethink this, Eric Wilson.”

  “Stop thinking immediately then!”

  We talked about other things until we got to the restaurant. The meal was great. My uncle had taken Aunt Kristen to that particular restaurant when he asked her to marry him. I figured if it was good enough for that moment, then it would be good enough for ours. As we sat there at dinner, I noticed that Olivia looked a little uneasy, though.

  “What’s wrong? Isn’t this great?” I asked.

  “It is. I just can’t help feeling like we don’t belong here. When I said a nice restaurant, I didn’t mean the state’s most expensive one. Most of the people here are dressed pretty well. I can’t help but feel that we stand out a little.”

  “Olivia, just relax. This day isn’t about anybody else or what they might think. You look beautiful, and anyone who thinks anything less needs to seriously get their eyes checked. Besides, when did you start caring about what other people think?”

  “You’re right. I don’t. I guess I’m just not used to us being in such a stuffy setting. What do you say we skip on desert and get out of here?”

  “That sounds good to me,” I said and called for the check.

  By the time I paid for it, a problem was becoming apparent to me. I didn’t have a lot of money left. I could get a hotel room, but I didn’t know how nice it would be. I drove to the best place I could actually afford and got a room. I received a strange look at the counter. The guy working there wasn’t used to someone so young asking for a room for two, at least not unless it was prom night. After we made our way up to the room, Olivia sat down on the bed and sighed.

  “So it’s still early. What do you want to do right now?” she asked nervously.

  “I paid in cash and used my fake ID. I’m pretty sure the guy knew I wasn’t twenty-one, but that’s not the point. We have a mini bar in this room, and there’s no way they can bill us for what we drink.”

  “I like the way you think. What do you want?” she asked as she walked over to the fridge.

  “Beer’s fine.”

  She grabbed a small beer for me and took out a cooler for herself. Then we sat down on the bed and enjoyed a drink. As time went on, it became apparent that awkwardness was growing. If this was going to happen, someone needed to make a move. As the guy, that was probably my job, but I was scared to death. All of this was new to me. I had been so sure when we were driving to the hotel, but now that I had this beautiful girl lying beside me, I was just a scared kid who didn’t have any idea what to do.

  “Before anything happens tonight, I want to know something,” Olivia said.

  “Anything.”

  “Why did you come back to Green Bay, and did you really think about me every day in Miami?”

  “I came back because there was only one great person left in my life. That was you. We didn’t talk much anymore, but I thought back to the last time I was truly happy. It was with you. I wanted to at least take a shot at recapturing those feelings. I really did think about you every day. It wasn’t fair to the people back home. Every time I was with friends, I thought this isn’t nearly as much fun as it used to be with Olivia, and anytime a girl’s lips touched mine, I immediat
ely knew that something was missing because I had experienced what was right with you. I know we’re young, and we haven’t had a lot of time together, but I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment we met.”

  “Great answer. I feel the same way. I missed you while you were gone. I was your first kiss, and you gave me the only kiss I’ve never been able to forget. I missed everything about you. I even missed hearing your stupid accent.”

  “Accent? What are you talking about?”

  “You know exactly what I’m talking about. Now, what are you waiting for? You should have kissed me ten minutes ago.”

  I turned over and wrapped my arms around Olivia. Then I kissed her. It was gentle at first, but I quickly turned our innocent kiss into one of passion. Things just flowed naturally from there. It was as if we were always meant to be together. I gently made my way down her body, kissing every inch of it as I did. With every kiss, I felt her body talking to me. A quiver here and a breath of ecstasy there were my road map to learning every inch of her. As I moved back up to her face, she spoke.

  “It’s your first time. I can do . . .” she said before I placed my hand on her cheek and spoke.

  “I can take the lead on this one. I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” she said and embraced me.

  It was new and even a little awkward like she said, but it was awkward in the best way possible. As we got to know the most personal parts of each other, we found something so amazing. This wasn’t sex we were having. It was something different - something more. Everything I did was for the girl I loved. On that night, her pleasure was mine. It was as if we were one person, and anything that could ever come between us was a world away.

  * * * * *

  The following morning, we woke up to the sight of sunlight peeking through the windows. Olivia let out a sigh of frustration. We weren’t supposed to be out all night. The plan was to have a special evening and then leave. As we lay there in bed the night before, Olivia slowly drifted away, however. I didn’t want to leave. The consequences for being gone were a morning away, and all I wanted to do was hold the girl I loved all night.

  “I’m going to be in so much trouble when we get home,” she said and started to reach for her phone.

  I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, however. This moment was perfect, and worrying about what was going to happen before we got back home seemed wasteful. I wanted to just enjoy every minute I had with her before this all blew up in our faces.

  “What are you doing, Eric? I need to call my mom and at least try to explain what’s going on.”

  “I’m asking you to stay here with me for a little while and just enjoy the morning. I want you close to me right now. Besides, do you have any idea what you’re going to tell your mom?”

  “No, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to be grounded for life after this.”

  “Let’s take some time to figure out what you can say before we do anything.”

  “That’s a good idea. What do you think?”

  “I don’t know yet. It’ll come to me, though. For now, I want to know how you woke up today and focused on anything other than how amazing last night was. I mean, I was really great,” I joked.

  “So what do you want? A standing ovation?”

  “Well, I would never ask for one, but . . .”

  “Don’t get too cocky there. I think I had a lot to do with how things went.”

  “Either way, you’ve got to admit this is crazy. When have things ever gone this good naturally for anyone?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Don’t you know? Every time I’m with you, things just go so naturally for us. I didn’t know how to kiss when we first met, but I knew how to kiss you. I didn’t know how to love, and I couldn’t help but love you. Last night, we didn’t know what was going to happen, but everything just happened as it should. Is it just me, or is this a little crazy?”

  “It’s not just you. I’m almost scared of how well things have gone.”

  “Why is that?”

  “I don’t know. We just fit. It seems like life is being decided pretty early for us. I love being around you all the time. I can see us married one day, and I don’t think that day is very far off.”

  “Whoa! Slow down there! Marriage? Come on,” I said without thinking.

  “Yeah, I spoke too soon. Last night was pretty close to perfect, but Eric, just for future reference, you really shouldn’t sound so freaked out by the prospect of being with a girl forever right after you sleep with her. It’s a little offensive.”

  “I’m sorry. I just hadn’t thought that far ahead. Maybe I should have.”

  “No. We should enjoy what’s happening right now without worrying about the future. At the same time, I don’t think a future with me should scare you.”

  “It doesn’t. I don’t know about marriage or any of those things right now, but if I ever were to be with someone forever, I would want it to be you.”

  “Since we’re on the subject of futures. What do you want to do with your life?”

  “I was thinking about getting a degree in business. From there, I’ll figure it out. I want to be successful, though. Some day I want to get out of this place. I love it here, but I know that you had this idea of me coming back a little differently. You said that in your fantasy I came back and took you away from here. I’m going to do that some day. What about you?”

  “I can’t wait for that. I want to be a doctor. I know it’s a big goal, but it’s what I want. It’s something I’ve thought about since I was a little girl.”

  “That sounds great. A doctor and a businessman . . . I think I can picture our lives that way.”

  “Me, too. So have you got any ideas about my mom?”

  “You hang out with Sarah a lot. Can you just tell her that I dropped you off at her house after our date? You can say your phone died while you were there.”

  “She’s never going to believe that.”

  “I know, but it’s better than saying I was in a hotel room with my boyfriend, isn’t it?”

  “I guess you’re right. Let me call Sarah and get her to confirm the story if my mom asks. Then I’ll call my mom,” Olivia said as she grabbed her clothes and stepped out of the room.

  I heard her call Sarah and get her to go along with the story. Then I heard her talking to her mother. Something seemed wrong.

  “I was just at Sarah’s. I’m sorry, Mom. I’ll be home soon,” Olivia said.

  “What do you mean . . . You’re not serious . . . I’ll be there as soon as I can,” she said and stepped out of the bathroom. Olivia looked like she was in shock.

  “What’s going on? Are you okay?” I asked.

  “It’s about my dad. He died last night.”

  “I’m so sorry. What happened?” I asked as I stood and wrapped my arms around her.

  “I don’t know. My mom said she didn’t believe me about being at Sarah’s but that it didn’t matter. I needed to come home because something bad had happened. When I asked what she meant, she told me that Dad died. I haven’t seen him in years. How could this have happened? Why now? You need to take me home so I can figure all of this out.”

  “I agree. Get your things, and let’s get out of here,” I said and grabbed my clothes.

  We were out the door in no time and on the way. I didn’t know what to say to Olivia. Is there ever a right thing to say after someone loses their father? That I don’t know. All I know is that on the drive home, she held back tears while I gently stroked her hand. Maybe it was enough just that I was there, or maybe I should have had the words to make it somehow better. Either way, I think she knew that I was there for her, no matter what happened. Things were going to get worse before they got better, but I was in this for the long haul. Just like we shared love, passion, and humor, we also shared pain now.

  Chapter 12

  Grief

  I eventually found out that Olivia’s dad had shot himself. I wasn’t able to see Oli
via much. She had a lot to talk about with her mom. I felt bad. I needed to be doing more in this situation, but I was clueless as to what that was. As I sat down in the living room, my uncle turned his attention toward me. Olivia might have been getting a pass about us staying out all night because of what happened, but I wasn’t.

  “We need to talk,” Uncle Gary said.

  “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have been out all night, and I definitely should have called if I was going to be. I don’t have a good excuse. I’ll just say this. I can live with this choice and the consequences that come with it. I think I was where I was supposed to be last night.”

  My uncle thought about my response for a second. It was getting close to Christmas, and grounding me right before the holidays just seemed cruel. Then again, he had to do something.

  “You’re grounded from seeing any friends, except for Olivia. I know that’s not much of a punishment, but her dad just died. She’s going to need you now. Over the next month, you’ll also be shoveling all the snow out front without any help from me, and this is Wisconsin, so there’s going to be a lot of it.”

  “I can accept that. Thank you for understanding and not keeping me away from her.”

  “You’re welcome, but where were you last night?”

  “I don’t know if I should tell you that.”

  “Always be honest with me, and we won’t have problems. I’m not a complete prude. I was once sixteen, and it’s not like I was never out all night with a girl. I just want to know where you were.”

  “We went out of town to the restaurant where you asked Aunt Kristen to marry you. Afterward, we got a hotel room. It wasn’t supposed to turn into an all night thing, but we fell asleep. I hope you’re not too disappointed in me.”