Worthy

by Ryan, Syd

  “I get it. Is that why you were running from me?” I nod, slightly embarrassed.

  “Well...that explains it.”

  This conversation is the perfect opener for what I wanted to ask him yesterday. “Gavin, do you drink like that a lot?”

  “No, not at all. I want to be honest with you, I drank that much because I was nervous.”

  “Why would you be nervous?”

  He turns me on my side, so we are facing each other. “I was nervous because this beautiful emergency room nurse was talking to me. I had seen you at work, and I’d seen the guys competing for your attention. Jamie, you have so many options, and you were actually talking to me. Of course, we were cool at work, but outside of work was whole different picture.”

  “The guys who talk to me at work couldn’t find their own dick even if I handed it to them. Those guys are little boys trying to be men.” Gavin seems to be reassured by my words. I’m not one for deep conversation, and I need to get out of it. “OK...good talk.” I give him a swift kiss on the lips and hop out of bed. “I will shower in the spare bedroom, so you can go ahead and shower in the master bath.”

  “Sounds good. Whoever gets out of the shower first makes coffee. Jamie, that is not an invitation for you to be in the shower all day. If that is the case, maybe I will just have to join you.”

  I make minimal effort in getting ready for my twelve-hour shift in the emergency room. I don’t know if it is because I started my morning with an excellent sex session or some other unknown reason. I put on my standard blue scrubs and nursing shoes and put my hair up in a wild bun, and I add some mascara and lip gloss. Honestly, this is crazy because I never leave the house with so little makeup. Damn, I wear more makeup than this to work out.

  Unfortunately, I was the first one to finish showering. I open his cabinet to see that he has hardly any coffee. Looks like we are getting coffee at Starbucks or at work. I gather my stuff by the door, so it will be ready when we leave. I sit at the bar going through my phone.

  Gavin comes out looking like the gorgeous male specimen I know that he is on any given day. In casual attire, work clothes, or scrubs, he is such a spicy temptation for me. “Why didn’t you shave this morning?”

  Gavin looks confused. “Of all the questions you could be asking me this morning, why are you focused on my shaving?”

  “Honestly?”

  “I would not expect anything else from you.”

  “I need a reason not to jump your bones. I love your scruff.”

  Gavin winks at me.

  “There was only a little coffee in the cabinet, so we need to get coffee on the way to work. Or we can get coffee at work. Either way, I think we have enough time.”

  Gavin picks up my bag and his expression becomes serious. “I will check in with the mechanic today, we should have an idea whether it can be fixed. I can take you to work, or you can drive my other car.”

  I am speechless. This level of trust is overwhelming for me. I know to some people it wouldn’t mean much, but to me it means the world. The guy standing before me is honestly a great guy, and his actions continue to prove it over and over. He doesn’t have to do any of things he does for me, but he does it willingly. “Gav, thanks for the offer. If you don’t mind, I will just ride to work with you. Regan is working today, I can get a ride home with her.” Gavin smiles radiantly at me. “We have anger management today. Attendance required.” I roll my eyes.

  Gavin puts my hand in his. “Jamie, sweetheart, after today only three more sessions are left.”

  I scowl and shake my head. “Let’s get going.” I take a quick look at the house, feeling lonelier than I did when I walked through the door.

  Our drive to the hospital is much faster than I want it to be. I don’t want to go to work; I could have easily spent the day with Gavin, in bed or not. He leaves my bag in his car. “Text me when you want your bag, I will meet you down here. I will get a hold of the mechanic before anger management today.” We walk into the hospital via the employee entrance. He keeps a distance between us. I’m not sure whether to be happy about it or upset. I think he is trying to keep the boundaries clear between us, so we do not get in any trouble at work. “I will see you at anger management today, I’m not the on-call in the emergency room.”

  “Thanks, Gav.”

  “For what?”

  “Thanks...for everything.” He kisses me lightly on the cheek. Any lingering doubts are cleared up at this moment.

  I walk on to the unit feeling as giddy as a high school girl. I enter the staff lounge as Regan is coming out of the bathroom. She was wiping her face with a cold washcloth. “I have a homeless patient in Room Thirty-Four who has not seen a shower since the 1980s.”

  “How many times have you gotten sick today?”

  “Only twice. The first time was when I got up this morning, and the other was just now. I will be OK.”

  I look at her and am not at all convinced, but time will tell. My purse goes into my locker, and we head out to the desk in the middle of the emergency room. Hopefully, my good luck will keep running, and I will not be spending my shift in a shitty area.

  “What is up with you?” Regan asks. “You are awfully chipper this morning.”

  “Nothing.”

  “I don’t believe that for one minute. Start talking and now.”

  I know better than to argue with a pregnant woman. “Gavin and I had sex last night and this morning.” She looks shocked and pulls me off the side.

  “I want to hear everything since you left the restaurant last night.”

  “There is not much to tell, really.”

  “Jamie...now.”

  “OK...if you insist. We went back to his house, and the moment we got inside he was on me like wildfire. Everything was in working order.”

  Regan nods. “I can tell you enjoyed yourself by the look on your face and the mood you are in. Overall, everything is going OK?” She looks a little concerned. I chuckle, knowing she is remembering my disastrous first hookup with Gavin. “Yeah, Regan, everything was perfect.”

  Chapter 26

  Regan and I are assigned to the same area for the entire shift. I love working with my bestie. I think we take better care of our patients together because we work great as a team. The workday goes by more quickly than usual. Regan enjoys a lunch of saltine crackers and ginger ale, I promise to eat nothing in front of her.

  I already gave Regan reports on two of my patients while I was waiting for Becca to cover my patients. Rowan joins us at the nurse’s station. “Hey, Rowan. I’m surprised to see you working today. I thought you only worked weekends.”

  “I’m on call, and there were two call-offs today. My mom is watching the kids for only a few hours because she can’t handle them for much longer than that.” Regan gives Rowan a dreamy-eyed look. I, on the other hand, probably have a look of terror.

  “How old are your kids?” Regan asks.

  “Evie is seven, Broderick is five, and Kyle turned three last week. I love them to pieces, but I just don’t get any help. My ex-husband, Christian, decided it would be better to fuck his intern. He will only take them on his visitation days. Even then he leaves them with my ex-mother-in-law, who blames me for the divorce. I guess fucking your intern is part of the marriage vows I missed. He doesn’t get that, because I work weekends, I have no days off to myself. I’m sorry, you didn’t ask for all that. I’m ready for the report whenever you are.” I didn’t realize until this moment how tired she really looks. I know if it were me I would be handling it much worse than she is. My level of respect for her is going way up.

  “Don’t tell anyone, Regan is pregnant. I’m sure she could use some practice watching your kids. Right?”

  “I think it would be good for Grayson,” Regan says. “If you want an evening off, let me know.”

  Rowan smiles. At least the offer is out there if she wants to take you up on it. I don’t see her taking you up on it. She has been the nicest of our coworkers
in the emergency room. She has always been helpful and genuine. I think she could be a great friend for Regan and me.

  “I have only two patients to give you a report on, Regan has the other two.”

  “The patient in Room Thirty-Four is a nineteen-year-old male with what appears to be a severe staph infection in his left leg. I started his Vancomycin drip twenty minutes ago. He has no home meds. Alert and oriented and waiting for a bed on a medical unit.” The patient in Room Thirty-Six is an MVA (motor vehicle accident). He is still on a backboard waiting for C-spine X-rays. Complains of numbness in the right arm, no other deficits are noted. Alert and oriented. Morphine—six milligrams is given IM (intramuscularly). Dr. Wilson will be in to treat him and go from there. You guys good before I head out?”

  “Yeah, when do you think you will be back?”

  “The group is anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half.” I don’t tell them it is only an hour and I want to stay and talk to Gavin a bit afterward. “I will see you guys in a little bit.”

  I stop in the staff lounge before I go to anger management. I want to make sure that I’m not covered in blood or vomit from the unit. Yes, I must freshen up my face as well. Gavin did not contact me about Gold Dust, and I’m a little nervous about it.

  Time got away from me, and I have only a few minutes before group starts. There’s no time for a coffee stop, so I pick up a couple of waters for us. The elevator always must stop on every floor when I need to be somewhere in a hurry. I arrive at the group with one minute to spare. As I walk through the door, I hand Gavin the water and take my seat.

  The hour goes by quickly today; we are covering relaxation techniques. More often than not, I catch myself drifting off, admiring Gavin’s GQ looks—a delightful distraction if I say so myself—but at least I attended. I usually believe the bullshit I tell myself, and today is no different.

  Gavin says goodbye to everyone, and Kristina, the ass kisser and wannabe girlfriend, keeps talking and talking. Gavin looks like he wants no part of it. I give her two minutes before I put a stop to that bitch’s game.

  Gavin is excellent at reading my body language and shuts her down. He gives her some crap about having a session with a patient. The only meeting he needs to have is fucking me on this very long conference table. Gavin shuts the door after the ass kisser leaves, leaving only him and me in the room.

  “What are you thinking about? I can see the wheels turning, Jamie.”

  “I was thinking about you fucking me on this conference table.” I give Gavin a sexy wink.

  Looking at the time, I know that it’s no longer a viable option. I’m sure the disappointment is evident on my face. “Did you speak to Jared today about Gold Dust?”

  He nods.

  “Good or bad news?”

  “Both.”

  “Fuck, I don’t need this right now.”

  “The bad news is that the timing belt needs to be fixed, but your engine is not blown. The good news is the auto class is going to do it for free. Basically, a little over a hundred in parts.”

  “I have no problem paying for parts. Do you trust this class?”

  “Jared is still supervising them. If I were in your shoes, I would absolutely have no problem with the class fixing it with his supervision.”

  I feel guilty and, hopefully, I will not be taking some single mom’s place by allowing him to fix my car. I accept this without question because I don’t have any options. “I have to go back to the unit. Do you want to walk me back?”

  “I have a few minutes, I can spare.” Gavin pushes me up against the door and kisses me passionately. I give into the kiss as he pushes his hand under my top. Neither one of us stops the kiss. Gavin comes to his senses and pulls my shirt back down. “I needed to do that.” I chuckle because every bit of me is happy he did it.

  Gavin walks me back to the unit. It takes every bit of my self-control not to make any pit stops on our way back. When I return to the unit, I go into the kitchen. I make Regan a little nausea reducing cocktail, saltine crackers, and a Pedialyte popsicle. My bestie covered me, so I must bribe her. “I’m back. Did everything go OK?”

  “Yeah, you have three new patients. They loaded the rooms all at once. Two of them came in by squads.”

  “Give me a second, let me get a report from Rowan first. I want her to get out of here first since she is on call today.” Regan agrees, as I knew she would.

  She is distracted by the food I fixed for her. “James, you didn’t have to do all this for me.”

  “I figured you have not eaten since I saw you coming out of the restroom this morning.” Her pale face tells me plenty as she enjoys her mix of 7 Up and cranberry juice over crushed ice. The delight on her face is what I was aiming for. I just hope the snack will stay down.

  “Damn, you are a hard woman to find. I walked through the department twice looking for you. I have done the hiding game, and if you are not a doctor, you always get caught.” Rowan says in a rush.

  Rowan grins at me, letting me know that I was correct on the hiding game. “Regan informed me that they put two new patients in the rooms assigned to you.”

  “I’m waiting for the doctor’s orders for both patients. The first patient is a seventy-eight-year old male with a right hip fracture. He was on his way to the Amvets club for a drawing tonight. The pot was up to six-thousand, and he says if they pull his name he will be leaving against medical advice. I don’t know how he thinks he is going to get out of here. I put an IV in his right arm, normal saline running with morphine, four milligrams IV. Push every two to four hours until he goes to the O.R. The patient is allergic to penicillin and peanuts. Bibbs, the O.R. nurse, said it will be three hours and keep him NPO (nothing to eat or drink).

  “The other patient is a twenty-one-year-old female with PID (pelvic inflammatory disease). Her STD panel is still pending with the lab. The ultrasound confirmed the diagnosis with free fluid in the pelvic area. The patient was ordered Flagyl and Cefoxitin IV. The Flagyl is currently running, and the other is to follow. No allergies noted. The patient is to be given the IV doses and will be sent home on oral medications. She also received Vicodin, two pills orally. She is not to get any more pain medication until thirty minutes before discharge. She is very dramatic and will push your last nerve. She refused to tell her parents.”

  “How is she going home?”

  “Her roommate is coming to pick her up.”

  “Thanks for the report, Rowan. The good thing is no one will be getting discharged before we go home. Anything you need from me before you head home?”

  “No, all my charting is caught up. I’m getting ready to leave now.”

  “OK, think about taking us up on our offer to babysit one night. I‘m helping Regan with her beach wedding, so keep an eye out for the invitation.”

  Rowan leaves the unit quickly. She is always on the move. I guess that happens when you are a parent and don’t have anyone to back you up. I’m so impressed by her, and Regan is right there with me.

  A few hours later our shift comes to an end. Regan looks better than when she started. Grayson texted me a couple of times, checking on her. He told me he didn’t want to hover over her, but he felt better knowing that she’s OK. We clock out thirty minutes past the end of our shift, and we feel like cats that got ran over. I’m on call tomorrow and want no part of it. Days we’re on call usually result in our being at work. My call starts at 7:00 a.m., so at least I can get a good night’s sleep before it starts. If we get called in, it usually happens on the 3-11 shift, during peak emergency room hours. I send Gavin a text letting him know my shift is ending and to meet me in the parking lot.

  Regan and I stand outside waiting for Gavin to meet us. The humidity is a bitch tonight. I think it feels like this when I have been in intense air conditioning. The pregnant one is wiping her brow, telling me his ass better get here. I laugh at her because she is six weeks pregnant, but you would think she is thirty-eight weeks pregnant.

  A few
minutes later Gavin graces us with his presence. “Sorry to keep you ladies waiting.”

  I look at Regan and know there is about to be a wildfire. “Gavin...it’s too fucking hot to keep us waiting out here. For God’s sake, we just worked twelve and half hours. I’m tired and fucking hungry, knowing there’s no way in hell I will be able to keep food down. Do you think I have fucking time to wait? Do I?” Regan puts her hands over her stomach as if she’s covering the baby’s ears as she cusses. She dropped more cuss words in that rant than I’ve heard her use throughout the years I have known her. I start laughing, utterly impressed by my best friend, and I can’t wait to enjoy this pregnancy with her. “Do you think this is funny, Jamie?” Her brows perk up. Gavin has enough sense to keep his mouth shut, and I don’t have enough balls to say or do anything else.

  “Regan, you can go ahead and go home,” Gavin says. “I will make sure Jamie gets home safely.”

  Regan looks at me like she has something else to say. What that is, I haven’t a clue. “I’m too tired to argue with you fools. Jamie, no bar tonight. I mean it.”

  “Yes, Mother.”

  Regan turns around so fast it causes me to jump. “Don’t fucking forget it.” She turns around and walks to her car. She is walking slowly, just to see if I have something smart ass to say to her.

  “I will call you, and we can do lunch tomorrow. Only if you are feeling up to it!” I yell. Tomorrow is going to be the day I tell my best friend all the things I haven’t told her about my family. I hope she is still my friend after it is all said and done.

  “Well, that didn’t go as I thought it would.” Gavin and I start laughing.

  “She told you and then some,” I say. “With any luck, this will not last the whole pregnancy. Otherwise, it will be a very long one.”

  “I had my friend Deacon drop my other car off, I wanted you to have something to drive.”

  “Gavin, you didn’t have to do that. I can make it work, but I appreciate the offer.”

  “I thought you told me you're on call tomorrow. I know you don’t know when you’ll be called in, and waiting for a ride is not going to cut it.”