Worthy

by Ryan, Syd

  Driving to the airport my thoughts go to Julia. She is the same age I was when my life took a turn I didn’t see coming, and now she’s facing a similar turning point. We both experienced abandonment, leaving us in a situation that forced us to be grownups. I’m going to be the bigger person and step in, not allowing to this to take over her life. I want her to enjoy her youth without having the burden of raising kids. Julia has dealt with this much longer than I did. Hopefully, she will allow me to intervene.

  I pull into the airport and park Gold Dust in airport parking. The parking is going to cost an arm and a leg. I take a picture of the ticket and text Regan. Hopefully, Grayson will pick up the car for me.

  I’m an OK flyer. Usually, I enjoy a few drinks in the airport lounge. But I need to keep my head clear, not fuzzy with warm alcohol. Grabbing my purse and luggage, I enter the airport with my nerves going to town in the pit of my stomach.

  Regan texts me about my ticket info and I pull up to the appropriate terminal. I look over the arrivals; my flight is experiencing a slight delay. I find somewhere to sit so I can get lost in a book without being disturbed. Finding seating without small children around is difficult.

  After going in a few circles, I see a couple of seats in an area where I can isolate myself from other travelers. I spend a long time trying to find a book to read; that is how I know my concentration is shot. I glance at the time; forty-five minutes have exhausted themselves. I head to the terminal assigned to my departing flight.

  Security stops everyone; there are no quick walkthroughs today. Continuing my unlucky day, every inch of me and my belongings is inspected. I must have an angry look that says, “fuck with me and see what level I’m willing to bring it to.”

  Slowly but surely, I proceed to the waiting area before boarding the flight. Overhead, I hear the words that every passenger dreads hearing: “We are experiencing a slight delay in our Kansas City flight, we appreciate your patience.” I find a crappy seat and text Regan my shitty update. Regan, being the kind of best friend she is, tries to see the light side of everything—when the situation is anything but light.

  Chapter 34

  Checking my cell phone every few minutes is keeping me agitated and aggravated. I can’t get to Kansas City fast enough. My mind is going in so many different directions, and I have so many questions with no answers in sight. How am I going to take care of them? Do they even want me? Will they leave with me? The most significant question of all: do I deserve them? Am I worthy of them? I have no answers. I just don’t want to be a big disappointment to them. My fucked-up parents have already done that to them. I just want to be the better person for them.

  I want a drink so fucking badly I’m willing to crawl into the airport bar. A couple of shots could do a lot to ease the stress right now. I can’t ask Regan to meet me at the airport bar as she is puking her guts up everywhere. I don’t have the heart to ask Chris. I know he says we’re OK, but he is not there yet. Staying away from the bar is the best choice, just not the choice I want as my nerves continue to rise. So this leaves me alone. This is not the first time and will not be the last.

  I turn on my music in another attempt to distract myself. I use the music to help with a little meditation. My version of meditation would be a stiff drink at the bar, but I settle for this. I close my eyes, trying to release the tension in my body. I have no doubt my muscles are tighter than an Olympic athlete. Unfortunately, a quick fuck in the bathroom is off limits. Now, that would be a stress reducer. My life is going through a major overhaul, and it is time to put those shitty choices behind me. Gavin did that for me: he kept me on track. Now it is going to hell.

  The relaxation techniques don’t do shit, and my agitation is going nowhere. My hair is a rat’s nest from my hands continually going through it. My heartrate picks up, and I feel like I’m on the brink of having an anxiety attack. I close my eyes and take some deep breaths, getting hardly any relief. I place my head between my legs. I am praying for this to stop, because I need to get on this flight. The last thing I need is a medical reason not to board the plane.

  I start to rock back and forth. “Please stop, please stop.” After a few pleas, I feel a hand rubbing my back. I jump out of my seat, not knowing who is touching me. My body goes into fight-or-flight mode. I open my eyes, and Gavin is standing right in front of me. He is holding his hands up in a “no harm, no foul” way. I pull the earbuds out of my ears.

  “You scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?” My eyes begin to fill with tears.

  “Jamie, I can’t let you go and do this by yourself.”

  “Gavin...” I whisper, filled with more emotion than I can handle.

  “I love you, Jamie. It is really that simple. I gave you your space. You were right, I should never have paid for the car behind your back. I wanted to help you, and I knew you would never let me do it. I love you and want you, Jamie.” My tears are flowing. “Gavin, you don’t want me and the mess that I am. Nobody picks me. In the spot that I’m in right now, I have to pick them.”

  Gavin lifts my chin, looking straight into my eyes. “I’m picking you, James. I love you. I want you. Don’t you fucking get it? My life has gone to shit since you were gone. I’m not eating, not sleeping worth a shit, and going through whiskey like it is water. I fucking need you, Jamie. I. Need. You.”

  “I have to take these kids. I can’t ask...” I say with a shaking breath.

  “We are getting on this flight and getting the kids. We are bringing them home.”

  “Home...” I say with uncertainty.

  “Yes, home, Jamie. My house. We are going to move your stuff from that shitty apartment and bring the kids to our house. I have enough space.”

  “Gavin, are you sure you want a house full of kids? Kids that come from fucked-up parents? If we do this, Gavin, we are in this 100 percent. The kids and I are a package, do you understand what that means?”

  Gavin pulls me closer leaving no distance between us. “A house full of kids and you, I wouldn’t want it any other way,” he says quietly. He pulls me into a kiss. He kisses me softly and gently, probably out of consideration for the public place we are in.

  “I can’t believe we are doing this.”

  “We are totally doing this, I just hope you are ready.”

  “Ready for what?”

  “Ready for a quick fuck in the bathroom on the plane. I have missed you. We are getting ready to have a house full of kids, so we have to learn to have sex whenever and however we can have it.”

  I shake my head with no idea how to respond because, once again, Gavin Rodgers is correct.

  Chapter 35

  “How is the flight schedule?”

  “Nowhere close to fucking being on time.” I say. “I want us to get there before midnight, but I don’t see that happening.”

  “What is the plan when we get there?” Gavin asks.

  “Due to the late hour of our arrival, we get a hotel for the night. At 8:00 a.m. we will contact the social worker and meet her with the kids. I don’t even have a hotel yet.” I roll my eyes.

  “We have a hotel, I made reservations before I got to the airport. I have everything taken care of for us.” Relief comes over me; another source of stress is off my back. “Where are the kids exactly?” he asks.

  “The kids have been placed in a respite center that recently opened up.”

  “Tell me everything you know, I want no surprises.”

  I give him details about the requirements for me to bring the kids back. He listens with full attention. “Gavin, if you can’t stay the whole time, I understand. I know you don’t want to miss that much work.”

  “Jamie, my place is with you. Craig is getting me covered at work. I’m not worried about money. I invested my inheritance pretty well. We have a little nest egg there if we need it. I will come home with you and the kids. I can’t have you make that trip by yourself. I want to be with you, Jamie.”

  My heart fills with pride a
nd joy at this great man before me. He wants the clusterfuck before him, and that alone has me speechless. Doubts run in the back of my mind. Does he know what he is getting into? Is he going to regret his decision? In two weeks’ time, is he still going to want me? My questions and doubts are endless.

  The announcement for our flight is made, and he grips my hand. At that moment everything is all right in the world. I feel comfort and, actually, I deserve it. I might just be worthy of finding my forever with Gavin.

  Chapter 36

  The flight to Kansas City is uneventful and with little turbulence. I, for one, couldn’t be any happier. My nerves are already frayed. Our plan for a quick fuck up in the air is unsuccessful for a couple of reasons. The flight attendants spend more time around the bathroom than serving customers, and a steady stream of people is going into the bathroom. Plus, I start to get gross thoughts about people having bowel movements with terrible smells in there.

  The highlight of the flight is our first-class seating. I never have flown in first class, and the comfort is worth the expense. Gavin tells me to enjoy it because our drive back home will not be comfortable with a minivan of kids.

  We arrive a little after midnight and, between working, the flight, and all the emotions we’ve experienced today, we’re utterly exhausted. Grabbing our luggage, Gavin orders us an Uber. As we’re standing outside waiting for the Uber driver, Gavin smirks at me.

  “What are you thinking about?” I ask.

  “I’m thinking about the last time we stood outside waiting for an Uber.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “I’m sorry for how that ended.”

  “Look at it this way, we know how much whiskey it takes for that to happen,” I say, laughing.

  He pulls me close to him. “I know it is not going to be a problem tonight, that is if you are not going to be too tired.”

  “I hope you are up to the challenge, Mr. Rodgers.”

  “Ms. Jenkins, I absolutely guarantee you will not be disappointed.” He kisses me with more passion than should be allowed in public, and I have no desire to stop it. Once again, our kiss is interrupted by an Uber driver. We look at each other, seeing the irony in the situation.

  The hotel is a short distance from the airport. Gavin tips the driver generously and we grab our bags. I hope our check-in process will be quick. At the hotel desk, a perky blonde named Charlotte acknowledges us immediately. “Hello, how can I help you?”

  “We have reservations under the name Gavin Rodgers.”

  The fake blonde bats her eyelashes, and I roll my eyes. “Sure, no problem, hun.” He certainly is not her fucking hun. “How long is your stay going to be?”

  “Hun, I’m sure that was indicated on the reservation,” I say in a bitchy tone leaving no question about my meaning. Gavin looks at me with a smirk, obviously enjoying this. Charlotte is left speechless and uncomfortable. “I see you are staying with us for two weeks.”

  “Can you give us a minute?” I say to Charlotte. “Gavin, I thought we would stay here tonight and go somewhere else tomorrow?”

  “What made you believe we would be changing hotels?”

  “This is place is too expensive to stay for more than just a few days.”

  “Babe, let me do this for you. Money is not a problem. If we need to move to be closer to the kids, then we will do that. I want you to be comfortable, and worrying about this is the last thing you need to be dealing with right now.”

  “Okay, if you are sure.”

  Gavin pulls me into a hug. “I’m sure, so sure the only thing I’m thinking about is fucking you all over the hotel room.”

  Charlotte quickly finishes our check-in process, telling us to let her know if we need any assistance. He can’t get me away from the hotel desk fast enough. Between the luggage, Charlotte, and me, it was a little too much for him. I appreciate his attempt to make me happy. On the elevator, Gavin pushes the button for the top floor. I curl up next to him, feeling like I can’t get enough of this man.

  As we exit the elevator, I expect to see a whole floor of hotel rooms. Instead, I’m greeted by a row of four doors. I follow Gavin two doors down and into our room. It is more than a hotel room; it looks like an apartment. “Gav, this is too much,” I whisper.

  “I wanted you to be comfortable and to have a place big enough for us to bring the kids here.”

  “Thank you so much. I figure the caseworker will allow us to bring them here for a few hours at a time. I want a safe place for them.” I hug him so tightly, feeling worthy for the first time in my life.

  Chapter 37

  The clock reads a little after 1:00 a.m. After the day’s events, you would think the only thing that would come to mind would be sleep. But the past few weeks have been torturous. I missed him so much. The one-and-done policy I lived by for years finally holds no appeal.

  Standing in the living room at this moment, we look like two lost teenagers who have no clue how to begin. The filth and grime of the flight aren’t enough to stop us; I think we can both agree that he needs to be inside me.

  “Tired?” I ask.

  “Fuck yeah, but nothing is going to stop me from being inside your tight pussy. It’s been too long, Jamie.” The mirror reveals a hot-looking mess. My hair is falling out everywhere, and I was smart enough not to wear makeup or it would be all over the place.

  I drop my purse on the bed as he looks at me like prey he can’t get to fast enough. I slip off my Nike running shoes and socks, and I lower my yoga pants slowly as he watches. I toss my shirt on the bed. I unhook my bra and slide it down my arms slowly to tease him. My underwear is the last to come off, and I step out of them. “Come and get me, big boy!” I squeal as I run to the bathroom, knowing he is going to chase me at full-throttle speed.

  “I’ve got something for you, alright!” he yells, coming down the hallway. I turn the shower on, hot and steamy, and I’ve never been more grateful for an enormous shower. Pulling me toward his chest, he kisses me deeply. His tongue in my mouth is enough to get my pussy soaking wet without any effort. I stop the kiss to get his clothes off. He pulls his shirt off while I make quick work of unbuttoning his pants. Gavin removes the rest of his clothes at lightning speed.

  A few minutes later, I’m in the shower, mesmerized by watching the man under the stream of water. The sight before me would be totally porn-worthy if he would start stroking his dick. I can’t decide if I want him to start jerking himself off, or if I should start for him. I inch closer to him and decide to take matters into my own hands. His cock is halfway hard before I put my hand on it. Two strokes are all it takes before it is standing hard at full attention. I want his cock at the back of my throat. As I get ready to get on my knees, he stops me. “If you use that sweet mouth of yours, I will be coming like a man having a middle-age crisis with a woman twenty years younger.” My back is against the tiles, and he kisses me furiously. We can’t get enough of each other. The kiss leaves me breathless. He raises my leg to his waist, dipping his finger between my thighs. “I need to be inside you. I need to fuck you like there’s no tomorrow. I spent a lot of yesterdays without you, Jamie. I promise you...we are going to spend the rest of our tomorrows together.”

  At precisely that moment Gavin enters me with a force that almost takes my breath away. Looking into his eyes, I can the see the surprise on his face. He stands still, allowing me to get used to his size. “Fuck me, Gavin, like there is no tomorrow.” Gavin raises my other leg, leaving my back against the wall as he pounds me into oblivion.

  “It’s been too long without you, Jamie, don’t make me do it again.” He nuzzles my neck. “Fuck...I need you to come.” He puts his finger on my bundle of nerves as he continues to fuck me hard. The excitement starts to rise and the urge to come is growing. “Don’t stop...please don’t stop. I’m close.” Gavin circles my clit harder and faster than ever. A few minutes later I’m coming like a shooting star and, with a few more pushes, he is falling right behind me.

&nbs
p; Chapter 38

  Gavin lowers my legs, which feel like jelly, and I hold him close. He places me under the hot water, allowing the steam to give my tired muscles some comfort. He begins to wash my hair, and instantly I’m in heaven. Damn, he would give my hairdresser, Lucas, a run for his money. I love his attentiveness to me. He touches my body like I’m a statue and he is a blind man trying to memorize every square inch of it. Time escapes quickly, and I’m clean as a whistle, leaving no area that hasn’t been touched and adored.

  He kisses my cheek softly. “Go ahead and climb out. I will finish up real quick and meet you in bed.” As I start to say something, he puts his finger to my lips to stop me. “I wanted to help you relax. Now go to bed, missy. I will be there in a minute.”

  I wrap a towel around my body and another around my hair, and I exit the bathroom. I towel dry my hair, leaving my wild curls all over the place. I open Gavin’s suitcase to wear one of his t-shirts to bed, skipping the underwear in case he wants to enter me at any given moment.

  He joins me in the bedroom wearing just a towel around his waist. “Jamie, you better stop looking at me like that. I would rather spend the rest of the night entering that sexy body, but we have early morning plans. Now, get that sexy ass in bed.” I walk over to the bed with a sexy strut, making sure he sees that I’m not wearing any underwear.