Worthy

by Ryan, Syd

  Gavin pulls a pair of boxer briefs out of the suitcase and joins me in bed. He nuzzles up to me with his neck in mine, leaving no distance between us. As he tries to get settled behind me, his dick pokes me in the back. “Be careful, big boy. We can go another round.”

  Just as sleep begins to settle in, he says, “I meant what I said earlier. Jamie, don’t make me go through that again. I don’t want us to be apart like that ever again. I love you. I know it is too much for you, but know that I do.” His heartfelt words leave me speechless. Guilt settles in because I can see how much I hurt him. I make a promise to myself that I will never do that again. He deserves that; I owe that much to him. I hold on to him a little tighter. Unable to say the words I should be screaming from the rooftops, I whisper, unsure if he can even hear me, “I promise, Gavin. Promise.” Apparently, he hears me—he kisses my neck softly.

  Chapter 39

  The alarm sounds at 8:00 a.m. Traveling and reuniting last night has left us not wanting to get up this morning. “Gavin, shut that fucker off. I swear, by the end of the day, you will have a new alarm, or your phone is going to be broken after hitting the wall. Damn, you can’t find a ringtone that is not annoying as shit.”

  “If you must know, I changed it when I was drinking like a fish when we were separated. Nothing was waking me up. I could come up with a new way for you to wake me up.” Gavin puts my hand around his dick.

  “I’m not sucking your dick as a wake-up call. I think you can get over yourself, Mr. Rodgers.

  Gavin pinches my nipple, thinking he is funny. I’d rather spend the rest of the morning enjoying ourselves in bed, but that is not an option.

  “You went to bed without any underwear last night.” He distracts me by rubbing my clit in small circles, leading me to spread my legs farther apart. “I missed you, James...like really missed you,” he whispers in my ear, leaving a trail of goosebumps running down my arm. “I’m sure it won’t take long.”

  “No, not long at all.”

  He circles my clit a few more times, and I’m a soppy wet mess between my legs. “Fuck, I need you.”

  “Let me get you off.” Gavin gives my clit a few flicks, and I begin to come. Words are coming out of my mouth, and I’m not even sure what I’m saying. “I love watching you come, and I love even more being the one who makes you come.”

  Gavin gets off the bed and his cock is standing tall, almost meeting his belly button. Gavin looks his sexiest in the morning. His hair has that beautiful, messy look that people spend hours getting, and adding his scruff in makes him a hot specimen of a man. He flips me on my stomach and slides me to the end of the bed. He enters me deeply, and I raise my ass to meet him. His strong hands are on my hips as he fucks me from behind. “Harder, Gavin, I want it harder.” He doesn’t have to be told twice. After a few grunts, I can tell he is close. I’m a greedy bitch and circle my clit. I want to cum with him. After a few more pushes, he starts to cum deep inside me, setting me off right behind him.

  He lays me down gently and gets a washcloth to clean me up. After tossing the washcloth in the bathroom, he joins me on the bed.

  “Good morning,” I say.

  “I would definitely say that was a good morning.”

  Chuckling, I couldn’t agree more with that statement. “I need to call the caseworker, Ms. Michaels, to let her know I arrived last night.”

  “Go ahead, I will take a quick shower while you make the call.” He kisses my cheek before leaving the room.

  My stomach is full of nervous butterflies. I’m afraid she is going to tell me no, and I don’t know if I could ever get over it. I recheck the number three times before dialing it. Dialing the number, my hand shakes. The phone rings a couple of times before she answers. “Ms. Michaels, this is Jamie Jenkins.”

  “Good morning, I was hoping you would call.”

  “My flight arrived late last night. I’m in town.”

  “Great. How about you get some breakfast and we meet around noon at the respite house. We can take the kids out to lunch. Does that work for you?”

  “Works perfectly, can you please text me the address?”

  “Sure, I will see you then.” I end the call and take a couple of deep breaths. My nerves are all over the place. I’m afraid she will see what everyone else sees, that I’m not good enough.

  Gavin walks back into the bedroom, thoroughly showered and ready for the day. The man looks well rested. I wish I could keep it together like he does. He is wearing a pair of dark jeans with a button-down shirt. The sleeves are rolled up just a bit. “Everything okay?”

  “Yes, I’m just a nervous wreck. She is going to text me the address of the respite house, and we are going to meet at noon. She said that we will take the kids out to lunch.”

  “Go and get in the shower. We will get a light breakfast, get a car rental, and be ready to be there at noon. Everything will work itself out, Jamie.”

  Getting out of the shower, my curls are all over the place. Putting frizz-control cream in my hair seems to have little effect. It is going to be humid today. I put my curls up in a high ponytail to get the hair off my neck. I decide to wear my Forever 21 coral Boho Me Ruffle Cami Dress with a pair of sandals. I’m going for comfort today, so I skip the heels. I don’t want to chase kids in a pair of heels.

  “It’s going be hot and humid as shit today, might want to put some shorts on.”

  “OK. I should have checked the weather before my shower. Instead, I was still too distracted by that hot body of yours instead of the hot weather.” I apply some lotion all over my body to get rid of all the ashy parts. My choice of makeup for the day is a facial moisturizer and some lip gloss.

  We leave the room and go to the hotel restaurant to get some breakfast. The hostess seats us, never taking her eyes off Gavin. “The server will be with you shortly. If you need anything, let me know. I will be more than happy to help you,” she says directly to Gavin.

  “I doubt that,” I mumble. As I start to look at the menu, he grabs my hand.

  “Jamie, I could care less about a hostess wannabe. I want you, and I will pick you over and over.” He kisses my hand.

  The waitress arrives to take our order. “What can I get you this morning?”

  “I want two eggs over easy, bacon, hash browns, and whole wheat toast. Also, bring me a large black coffee.” Apparently, nerves are not getting to him this morning. “She will have a cinnamon raisin bagel, fruit cup, and a large black coffee. Bring creamer and sugar, please.”

  “OK, it will be out shortly.”

  “I can order my own breakfast.”

  “I know you can, I just ordered so you won’t be staring at the menu for the next twenty minutes. I doubt you will be eating much.”

  “You’re right about that, I’m too nervous about the caseworker and the kids. I haven’t seen them in a long time. What if they don’t want to go with us?”

  “Jamie, they will. We have ten to fourteen days to make that happen. Stop all the crazy shit you are thinking about. Everything will work out just fine.”

  The remainder of breakfast is uneventful by anyone’s standards. Gavin knows what I need before I do, something I can quickly get used to. I kept my claws in check with the hostess; I have issues that are more important.

  The thoughts running through my head are like a shitty movie on repeat over and over, and I spend more time picking at my bagel than actually eating it. I’m trying my best not to let my nerves get to me, and now I’m thinking it might not have been a great idea drinking that large coffee.

  “Let’s go for a walk, we have time before picking up the rental car.”

  “Okay.” Gavin gets up and holds his hand out to me. I take the lifeline he is offering me. He truly is my life.

  Chapter 40

  “Where are we taking a walk?” I ask.

  “Anywhere that gets that pretty head of yours cleared out.”

  “Dude, I don’t know if that is possible.”

  “Let’s
give it a shot.” I nod as we walk out of the hotel. The weather outside is tolerable, warm but not overly humid. We start walking with no direction in mind. At least everything in front of us is new, so it’s a pleasant little distraction. Gavin continues to hold my hand. He pauses for a minute. He flips a penny and has it land on his hand.

  “A penny for your thoughts.”

  “How many dollars do you have? A penny is nowhere near enough to cover all my crazy thoughts.”

  “I’m willing to spend every dollar in my pocket just to hear them,” he says with a wink. I fall in love with him a little more just for saying that to me.

  “I’m a nervous wreck, Gavin,” It rushes out of me, unfiltered. “So freaking nervous... What if she looks at me and realizes the hot mess I am? What if she sends me home without the kids? What if I must stay in the state for three months to make sure that I can parent these kids? Most importantly, what if the kids don’t want to go with me? What if they think I’m fucked up like Jodi and Julian Jenkins?”

  Gavin pulls me aside to sit on the steps of a building. It’s a business called Kiana Whorter, Interior Designer. It’s one of those quirky buildings with cute potted plants that are alive regardless of the temperature outside. “I love you for so many reasons, and the kids will fall in love with you for the same ones. Well, the same ones except for the tight ass and beautiful breasts, which I’d rather be sucking the nipples on at the moment.”

  “Stop,” I say, shaking my head.

  “Seriously, I love all the wild moments you bring to my life. I love how you tell people your opinions whether they want to hear them or not. I love how you keep people on track. I love how you take care of Regan by letting her believe she is taking care of you. You’re a great nurse, with a spitfire personality, and the life of the party, but a caregiver to all. I love it when you speak your mind, whether it is the hostess flirting with your man, a shitty doctor, or the caseworker in charge of your siblings. She will see the greatness in you because it pours out of you. She will see the success that you are despite the shitty parents you were given at birth. If she has any doubts about you or your ability to parent them, you will set her straight.

  I will be at your side, not because you will need me but because I know you have this in your pocket. Jamie, you got this. No one is worthier than you, and I think it’s time for you to start believing you are worthy.

  Gavin’s words leave me speechless. I lean into him, gently saying the words I should have said a long time ago. “I love you, Gavin. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.” I cup his face and, closing my eyes, I gently place a kiss on his plump lips.

  “Excuse me, can I help you?” A woman points to her business sign.

  “No thanks, we took a break on your steps. It was perfect. I think we will be on our way. Have a good day.”

  “Take a pit stop anytime, I’m glad my steps could be of service.” We return to the hotel ready for the day ahead.

  Soon we are standing at the hotel waiting for the Uber driver. “In case I don’t say it later, thanks for taking care of everything we need. The hotel, car rental, Ubers, meals—it takes a lot of worry from me. I can’t imagine where I would be if I were here by myself. I was barely able to get myself on a flight, for christsakes.”

  “Jamie, I know it is hard for you to allow people to help you. Going forward, you need to know that I’m that person in your life.”

  “OK, I agree. Now, that is enough serious shit for a little while.”

  “Yes, ma’am. We can spend our time in the backseat of the Uber while I keep you distracted.”

  “I think that plan can work if ends with me coming,” I say with a chuckle. “I aim to please, Ms. Jenkins.”

  The drive to the car rental leaves me a little flushed and without complaints. The tension is decreased, and the distraction tactic worked. Gavin did aim to please. I give him kudos especially with only leaving only three minutes before we arrived and the Uber driver entirely unaware of what was going on in the backseat. I cuddle up to Gavin for the remainder of the drive. “What are you thinking about?”

  “Baseball stats.”

  “Umm...why?”

  “I can’t walk in here with my cock looking like a piece of rock-hard steel.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. Look, it is down already. Reciting a few stats in my head over and over and imagining homeruns will get the job done.”

  Gavin rents us an SUV similar to his with seating for eight. “This is too much.”

  “We would spend a lot more flying the kids back with us so, no, this is not too much. This is one of those things you do not have to worry about. Also, I want to make sure we have enough room to take the kids anywhere with us during our stay here, so the caseworker doesn’t have any reason to make this process more difficult for us.” I love how he is so focused on keeping things organized. At least one of us has our head in the game. I’m too emotionally involved, so Gavin is focused on keeping things in order.

  Gavin drives to the respite center, and I close my eyes trying to relax. Gavin doesn’t take the hint and keeps talking. First his talking is nothing of importance but that doesn’t last too long or long enough for my preference. “I just want to say that I love you, and nothing that happens in there is going to change that. Anything the caseworker needs from me, I will gladly provide.

  “Jamie, we should have talked about this before, but no time like the present. We are going to tell the caseworker that you and the kids are moving into my house. We have plenty of space for them, and your apartment wasn’t even a home for you. Schools are great, and the gated community is safe. I think Gold Dust can go to your sister Julia, you can drive my SUV, and I can drive the Charger.”

  “Gavin, now that is too much.”

  “Nothing is too much for you. I cannot give you as much as you’ve given me in my life. The house and the car are nothing, Jamie. Nothing in comparison to what you give me. We are forever. You, me, and a house full of these kids—now that is forever. I 100 percent promise I’m never going to change my mind. So I’m telling you to get on board with this plan and quick.”

  “What if...”

  “I choose you, I will choose you every day of my life. I want everything life has to give me, with you by my side. Don’t you get it? I know it sounds like a cliche, but my life is truly nothing without you in it.” Gavin doesn’t give me a chance to respond. He kisses me gently on the lips. “I love you. I choose you, Jamie Jenkins. I’m choosing forever with you.”

  My eyes start to tear up. Gavin has me on emotional overload. The fucktard should have just let me close my eyes and rest. My nerves are heightened, but in an excellent way. I’m excited to see the kids. I know we can be the family they need and want. We will love them the way they should be loved and care for them the way real families do. The kids will stop worrying about where the next meal is coming from, if the utilities are going to be paid, or when Dad is coming home. “You are too good to me and for me.”

  “I will always be too good to you, I wouldn’t want it any other way. This is a great time for you to accept it.” He kisses the tip of my nose.

  We arrive outside the respite center. Another brick building like the one where the time away happened earlier on our walk

  “Ready?”

  I nervously shake my head.

  “We got this, and I got you. I promise.” Gavin opens his car door and walks around to open mine.

  “Do I look OK?”

  “Jamie, you look beautiful and perfect. They are going to love you as much as I do and as much as Regan tolerates you.”

  “Full of jokes, I hear.”

  He smiles, full of confidence, as we enter the respite center.

  Chapter 41

  A middle-aged woman greets us as soon as we enter the building. “Welcome, are you Jamie? My name is Melanie Miller, I run RRR Center.”

  “Yes, and this is my boyfriend, Gavin Rodgers.”

  “Ms. Michae
ls is here speaking with the children. I will let her know you are here.” The room looks really homey, with kid-safe toys and games. I know by looking at the place that they do not accept kids with severe behavioral problems, and I know the place is fairly new because I smell the new paint.

  I look at Gavin, and my anxious thoughts must be on full display.

  “You got this, we got this.”

  I shake my head, trying to feel more sure about this situation.

  “Glad to see you made it safely. I think you would be surprised at how many people don’t show up, or show up weeks later. Yes, it is as awful as it sounds. Let’s go and have a seat and discuss a few things before we bring the kids out.”

  Well, at least she’s still bringing the kids out.

  We have a seat on the couch, and Ms. Michaels sits on the chair across from us. “Ms. Michaels, this is my boyfriend, Gavin Rodgers. He works as a therapist at the same hospital as I do.”

  “We are going to spend a lot of time together over the next few weeks. Please call me Rosalie. Basically, this is how I want this to happen. Today we will spend a couple of hours together with the kids, and later I want you to come back and have dinner with them. Tomorrow morning, I want you to be at Job and Family Services for the background check and drug testing. I have no doubt you will both pass. Over the next ten days, I’m going to have you spend time with the kids after school until bedtime. For the first few days, you’ll meet them at the respite center since there won’t be any other children present. We have a court date scheduled for two weeks from today and, if everything works out, you will be able to return to Florida with the children.

  “A caseworker will meet you upon your return to make sure your house is safe. If you have someone who could check out your house beforehand, that would be my preference. We’ll keep a case plan going for six months, and the children will be required to attend counseling. I believe it would be beneficial to the kids for you to attend as well, Jamie. After all, you lived with your parents and can identify with their feelings.”