The Goddesses Throne

by A. Kingsley

  Cassius tilted his head slightly. Leave it to Cisily to stay hopeful.

  “I’m not sure if I believe you,” her words were coated with worry and they felt strangled in her throat. “Tomorrow morning, I’ll take a carriage home at once to go see. You’ve had a bit of a traumatic night.” She stood from her place on the bench and gathered her dress in her hands.

  ‘Is this what she was? Offended? Did she think that he had gone mad and made the situation up?’ “I have, but Cis, I’m not making this up.”

  She shook her head, her lips bent in a frown. “I’m sure you’re not Cassius, this just isn’t good news to hear.”

  Before he could converse with her any further, she left the garden and headed down the hallway, surely she’d want to speak to Clare. He wanted to give them alone time, but he had to follow her. He couldn’t lie any longer, to two very important women in his life. They were more respectable than he’d ever be. They deserved honesty.

  He hurried along after Cisily. She was walking faster than him on purpose, but he had longer legs, so it was easy for him to catch up. “Can you give me a bit of privacy please?” she said.

  “I would, but … there’s something that I need to tell you, well and Clare, I figured you were going to go see her. Were you not?”

  “I was,” she huffed, glaring at him from the corner of her eye. “Is this news just as shocking and nerve wracking?”

  “Maybe a bit shocking, but I don’t know about nerve wracking,” he said as he followed her.

  When they reached Clare’s bedroom, they were greeted by Phoebe, who was coming out of the room carrying a tray. She greeted Cassius and Cisily with a smile, before moving out of their way and heading down the hall. Clare was sitting on her bed, flipping through a book, her eyes were watering, she hadn't been expecting their company. She looked up and quickly blinked away her tears. She hadn’t been expecting Cassius so soon, but she hadn’t been expecting Cisily at all. She waved them both in and forced a smile. “What are you doing here Cisily? I’m delighted, but a little concerned,” Clare said as she looked over to Cassius.

  “Cassius, has something that he wants to tell the both of us,” Cisily said. Her voice was cold, her tears had gone and she had shut down.

  Cisily took a seat next to Clare on her bed.

  Cassius stood awkwardly. “I don’t really know how to tell you this.” He wasn’t that kind of person. Normally he knew exactly how to tell someone something and he never did it lightly. Protecting someone’s feelings normally wasn’t his first priority. If he didn’t care so much about Clare and Cisily, he would have said it bluntly and then he would have walked away, not allowing them to ask questions. “I murdered four people,” he said. His tone wasn’t regretful, just monotone and blank.

  Both girls stared at him with wide eyes, this was not the news that they had been expecting.

  “You murdered four people just now or you’ve been murdering people?” Cisily asked, her tone was rather rough. She was annoyed with her cousin.

  “Just now, after the execution.” He cleared his throat. He forced his eyes to shift to Clare, who still seemed too shocked to respond. They made eye contact until she spoke.

  “Because you were angry, or because they deserved it?” Clare asked.

  “Both.”

  “Who?” both girls asked at the same time.

  “A few of my father's guards. They turned on me and they’re only loyal to him now. They didn’t stop Antoine’s execution and they knew about my father's cruel plan to murder my mum and they stayed. Maybe they didn’t deserve to be slaughtered, but they deserved my rage. It’s not reversible, so it doesn’t matter what they deserved. I’m unchangeable. I’ve killed and not because I had to. I understand if you’re furious with me.”

  Clare laughed and Cassius froze. ‘Was she in shock from what she had heard? This wasn’t something funny. Was she slowly going insane from the events of the day?’

  “Sorry,” she pressed a hand to her mouth. “I just think it’s funny that this entire day is going to shit. I mean, I can’t blame you for what you did. I don’t want you to murder anyone else again and I do wish you hadn’t done that, but I just exposed my magic and I am on the top of the most wanted list, everyone is dying and,” she threw her hands up in the air, “and I’m sure a war will be declared tomorrow. So your crime, is not the worst thing to have happened tonight.” She laid back on her bed in defeat and Cisily joined her. The girl’s held hands and Cisily whispered something low and comforting to her.

  “A lot has happened in the past few hours. I don’t think anyone’s in a clear head space,” Cisily said. This time she didn’t glare at her cousin, she just forced a smile and pointed it towards the girl she had grown to care for. “I came in here because I wanted to tell you that I’m leaving tomorrow morning.”

  “But you just got here Cis and I haven’t seen you in so long,” Clare protested.

  “Now that I think about it, it’s not safe for you to go back to Excidium, Cis. I won’t allow it,” Cassius said.

  Cisily sat up from the bed, her lip curled in anger. “You’re not the boss of me Cassius, you don’t get to decide where I’m allowed to go.”

  “You’re right, I’m not the boss of you and I don’t get to decide, but I get to have an input. You could leave now, but let’s say what happened to Theo is true, you would be next Cis. Let’s just write a letter to confirm it.”

  “But what if he won’t confirm it? What if alive or dead, I never see my brother again,” she cried.

  Cassius thought about this, his father wouldn’t want Theo’s death to look like his doing, so he’d let Cisily see the body. This way she’d be able to see Theo and he’d be safe. “You won’t have to worry about that, I promise,” Cassius said. He looked to Clare for help, but she didn’t meet his eyes, she was too busy looking up at the ceiling. To his surprise, she spoke anyway.

  Her eyes broke away from the ceiling and landed on Cisily. She squeezed her hand tighter. “I don’t want anything to happen to you Cis, Cassius is right. Please stay here with me.”

  Cisily thought this over, but ultimately agreed. “Alright, only if it’s not too much trouble. I’ll stay here, but only after I go check on my brother.” She broke away from the girl’s touch. “I should get to sleep. I’m quite tired.”

  Cisily didn’t look at Cassius as she exited the room. Phoebe met her outside and took her down the long hallway to a guest bedroom. When the door closed again, Clare sat up.

  “Why is she mad at you?”

  Cassius shrugged as he sat down beside her. “I’m not sure. Maybe she thinks I have something to do with this. I told her that I killed and then I told her that her brother might be dead all in the span of a few moments. I assure you, I would never do such a thing. I will be mortified if Theo is truly dead, but I do hope that is not the case.” He drew in a breath and crawled over Clare to the other side of the bed where he would be sleeping. He always slept closest to the door when they were together. “Do you want to change out of that dress?” He threw her a sideways glance. He could tell she was too tired to bathe and although it was needed, he wouldn’t press. When she said nothing and stared off into the distance, he took matters into his own hands. He would do anything to distract him from the pain that he was currently feeling and he would do anything to prolong their much needed conversation. He got up and pulled from her closet, the first nightgown that he saw, it was mint green with teal ribbons on the neckline. “How about this one?” he asked her.

  Snapping out of her trance, she nodded.

  He set it down on the bed and then went to her vanity. He grabbed a gray cloth and soaked it with water, he wrung it out and then grabbed a dry cloth.

  She stared at him, confused “What are you doing?” she murmured, her mind clearly elsewhere.

  “I’m taking care of you because you won’t take care of yourself. May I take off your makeup?”

  She nodded, “Cassius, are you taking care of yourse
lf? I mean I lost Antoine, but you lost Antoine and your mother. I can not pretend to imagine the pain that you must be going through.”

  He lifted her chin up with his right hand, so her eyes were looking up at the ceiling. He could feel the tears rising at her concern, but he choked them down. “It’s not a contest, but yes, I am doing my best to take care of myself, I came here after all.” He grabbed the wet cloth and began to press it in circles on her face, he was gentle, applying pressure, but never too much. Her makeup began to come off in smudges. He switched rags, still holding her chin and then wiped the smudged makeup off with the dry towel until her face was clean. “Are you really just going to move on from what I did?” he asked her

  “Yes I am. You remind me of a soldier, like my father, like Jesse. I think those guards might have attacked you if you didn’t get rid of them first and even if they would not have attacked you, they were in full support of your father.” She pressed a few pale fingers to her rosy cheeks and let out a soothing sigh at how refreshed her skin felt. She looked down to the night gown and balled the fabric up in her hands. “Would you do the honors?

  Cassius swallowed hard and he shook his head. “No Clare, you still have feelings for Antoine. I don’t want to do something that you are going to regret asking me to do because you were sad. I don’t want to be that bloke. There’s no need to start this now.”

  After a few moments of silence, Cassius turned his body to give her privacy, but he felt a tug on his wrist and she whirled him around. His lips parted, but no words came out.

  She got closer to him until she was almost sitting on his lap. “I love both of you. I always would’ve ended up spending the rest of my life with you, a man I loved, but there was something drawing me into Antoine. I know it was wrong to love Antoine, but there was a connection and I did, I mean, I do love him too.”

  Cassius took a minute to process this information, he put an arm around her waist and pulled her in closer. “You love me too?” He couldn’t think of a reason why she would love him. He couldn’t write poems and he wasn’t one to talk about books, he would rather throw knives or go horseback riding.’

  “I always wanted what I couldn’t have and I knew that I could have you, so for the longest time I made myself despise you. At first you were mean and cold, but soon I discovered that was just because of the facade your father had made you put on. Your walls slowly started to crack. I love how hard you try for me Cassius. Those dates you put together and how you took my makeup off without me asking or how you always put another blanket around me when I’m cold, or how you share your food with me when I don’t like mine. Under all of those scowls and anger, there is a man that I love,”

  “Clare, please, I’m a monster, you deserve someone like Antoine and you’re right, though you can not have him … you deserved him over me. Of course I’m in love with you,” he said as he let out a hot breath. “You’re the only reason I hold back from my darkest demons, you’re the only reason that I’m a slightly better person now. If I had to search through hell and back to find you and your soul then I would. Your wish is my command. But I'm a monster of a human. You should not want me. I should only want you.” He stopped talking when she placed a finger to his lips.

  “Do not tell me what I should want.”

  When she lifted her finger, he spoke again. “Are you sure about this Clare? Is Antoine in here?”

  She shook her head, “Antoine isn’t in here and him and I have never had sex Cassius, if that’s what you thought. I kissed him, but I never did anything of that sort. I shouldn’t have even kissed him because you said you would try to be faithful to me and I should have tried harder to be faithful to you. My heart still holds love for the both of you, but I need you now more than ever. Though I may grieve, for a long, long time, I’m ready to start giving my heart to you fully. Cassius, my heart aches for you.”

  He was too stunned to speak, but when she leaned in and stopped, waiting for his reaction, he nodded and closed his eyes. Their lips pressed together in unison and moved at a similar speed. Her right hand was wound in the back of his deep black hair, her left hand pressed on his chest as she leaned against him. She pushed him down onto the bed and laid on top of him, kissing both of his cheeks. He kissed her lips once more and then rolled out from underneath her. Though he wished to keep kissing her, their emotions were high, things were different, he didn’t want her to regret any of her decisions. So they settled on spending the rest of the night together, cuddled up. Cassius had always assumed he would hate to cuddle, but he was wrong, when Clare was in his arms, there was nothing he liked more.

  Their last moments of peace before war were fleeting. After Clare changed into her nightgown, they held each other close all night, their legs entangled, their hands melded together. Clare fell asleep, but Cassius did not. Though it was odd to think that she was finally his, he felt guilty that to get here, Antoine had to die. ‘Would she have chosen him over Antoine if he had lived? Was she ready to start a life with him before Antoine had gone? Or would she have chosen Antonine and broke off their engagement in the end?’ His thoughts moved from this, to the execution and then to his mother’s death. He spent all night thinking and wishing that things could be both different and the same, all at once.

  Sympathy

  Sage felt horrible. The sympathy that she felt for her sister was the strongest that it had ever been and the three people she loved the most were hurting. Her mother was upset because Clare was hurting and she had lost a boy that she’d grown to love. Clare and Julius were upset because they both had lost someone close to them. Though she too was hurting as Antoine had lived inside of her home and was like a brother that she never had, she felt guilty that she was escaping the worst of this tragedy. Her relationship with him was not as deep as Clare’s or Gracielle’s or Julius’s. She didn’t know what to do with her emotions. She couldn’t disappear and sulk with her sword because she had to be there for the people that she loved the most. Julius was sitting next to her at the dining room table, everyone else had left the room. “How are you holding up?” she whispered. Comforting people wasn’t her specialty, but she’d try her best to make him feel at home.

  He rubbed his face, scrubbed it hard and then put his head on the table. “Not very well.”

  She sighed at his response, she was shit at consoling people. She placed a hand on his shoulder. “Would it make you feel better to employ the rest of his family?”

  “No. It would put them in more danger, plus it would be a constant reminder, money will suffice,” he groaned.

  Sage was horrible at this, she felt as if anything she suggested would upset him. Though deep down she knew he wasn’t upset at her, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was just making things worse.

  She pondered what might make him feel better. “You know that I will kill that mother fucker, right?” she said to him. Though she was trying to joke around, there was no light heartedness to her voice. While she said the words, she realized that she was a bit serious. Cassius was annoying, but he was nothing like his father. She was finally warming up to him. Antoine was gone and Cassius was the closest person that Clare had to hang onto besides her mother and Sage. Cassius would always be second to Sage no matter how hard that he tried. Sage’s frown turned into a smile when she realized that Julius was laughing. She grasped his hands tightly and kissed them, hoping this unusual display of affection would lift his spirits. “Do you think you’ll be able to sleep tonight?” she asked him.

  “I think so. Oddly enough, that is my way of coping with things. Some people can’t sleep because they will have nightmares, but my brain likes to drown things out. Ever since I came back from the, uh, dead, I haven’t really dreamt much. I guess you can say that he missed that part of my revival.”

  “Well if you can get some sleep, then you should.”

  She stood up from the chair and helped him up, she had no trouble with his weight. Even though he was an average guy, not thin enough to b
e skinny, not thick enough to be fat, she could easily hold his weight and she didn’t mind helping him. Sage linked arms with him and practically dragged him through the halls until she got to her room. Esmeralda frowned when she saw Julius, but she didn’t scurry away like usual.

  “I am so sorry Julius, I have lost and I am sorry that you must go through it too. I could not imagine losing Sage and I am sure that she could not imagine losing me either.” She brushed past them and gave them their privacy.

  Julius’s eyes were too puffy and red to produce more tears. He threw himself on the bed and buried his head into the pillow. He was not up for conversation, he was ready to sleep the pain away. Sage walked to the other side of the bed, blew out the candles and helped him get under the covers. “Goodnight Julius.” She planned to let him sleep as long as he needed.

  “Night,” he murmured lazily, his eyes closing shut.

  While he was asleep, she stayed up throughout the night to make sure that he was safe and sound.

  All hail the king

  Though King Erebus already held a royal position in Excidium, he had never been the one who had the power to make decisions. The morning after Antoine’s death, this changed. He had to convince Adria while she was alive, to be his puppet, in order to make his moves for him, but now that she was gone, there was no one to convince. Normally when a new person came into power, the people cheered and screamed, but the citizens of Excidium were silent. They watched with unblinking eyes as the new decision maker gave his speech.

  He told them of Adria’s tragic ‘suicide.’ He then went on to announce that traitors would not be tolerated and that there would be a new curfew at sundown. Military officers would be stationed in the streets and if anyone spoke badly about Excidium, or spoke out of line, they would go to prison or worse they would be executed. He told them as long as they obeyed his rules, then they would be fine. He told them of Cassius’s betrayal and how his son had run off, he pretended to be devastated.