Letting Go (Healing Hearts)

by Michelle Sutton

  His cell phone rang. “Dave’s Corporate Consulting. How may I help you?”

  “Hey, it’s me, Joleen. Are you busy?”

  “A little. I just had the car washed. I’m heading home to lay Joey down for a nap. Why?”

  “Well, I have to meet with you soon. Since my schedule is fairly crowded next week and I’m available now, I wondered if you wouldn’t mind me stopping over to discuss the case with you.”

  Did he have a choice? “I’m not sure today is a good day.”

  “Come on, Dave. You know I have to do a home visit for court. It’s part of my job. Can’t you find a way to fit me in?”

  “All right. I think I can slice an hour out of my day. When are you coming by?”

  She chuckled. “I’m in your driveway.”

  Dave turned the corner onto his street. A red Mini Cooper sat in front of his house. Joleen turned and waved at him.

  “See you in a sec.”

  He whispered a prayer. “Okay, Lord. You need to help me here. I have a bad feeling about this whole situation. Help me to say and do the right thing.”

  As he parked in front of the garage, he groaned under his breath. He did not want to be alone with Joleen. Not with their history.

  Joey had dozed off immediately after the car wash ended and now stirred again in his car seat. Hopefully he’d fall back asleep.

  After Dave parked, he lifted Joey out of his seat and settled him on his hip. He grabbed the diaper bag with his other hand, backed up, and kicked the door closed.

  Joleen grinned as she waited for him on his front porch steps. Her broad smile reminded him of their high school days. When he couldn’t get enough alone time with her. He didn’t want to be thinking about that now, but it was hard to forget the past.

  “Is this the little tiger?” Joleen dipped her head to get a better look at Joey’s face, still slack with sleep.

  Joey’s eyes peeped open, then drifted shut again. His mouth gaped as he drooled on Dave’s sleeve. While Dave balanced Joey and the bag on one arm, he attempted to unlock his front door to let them in.

  Joleen didn’t even offer to assist him while he struggled with the door. Her inability to see Dave’s need for help reminded him of the old Joleen, the one who only thought of herself. He wondered why she represented children for a living when he had never known her to even like them.

  Stepping into the foyer, he dropped the diaper bag on the floor and punched in the code that turned off the alarm system. He headed toward the stairs.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  “Take your time.” Joleen stepped past the diaper bag and sauntered around his living room, scanning his paintings and furnishings and stopping to stare for a moment at the portrait of Jesus. He studied her briefly before ascending the staircase. Her expression didn’t tell him anything about what went on in her mind.

  When he returned downstairs he found Joleen occupying herself by flipping through the pages of one of the magazines lying on his coffee table. When she heard him approach she sat up straight. “Is this all you have? Just Christian magazines?”

  “Yes. I’m a dad now.” He ignored her insinuation and smiled pleasantly.

  “But why only religious magazines? I remember when you could have cared less about stuff like that. Heck, I even remember your collection of Playboy magazines and how we used to look at them together. Where did the Dave I remember go?”

  His face heated and he frowned. Before he’d become a Christian he did a lot of things he now regretted.

  Her undressing in front of him flashed across his mind, but he forced the image away. He refused to entertain the thought of engaging in the same behavior again.

  Their graduating class had nominated them for favorite couple. Then they had gone to separate colleges and drifted apart. She’d always been an attractive woman. He had liked her feisty attitude, but he had never loved her.

  Her gaze swept over him. “You’re still good looking, so that hasn’t changed. But what changed you, Dave?”

  His words sounded strangled. “What?”

  “What made you clean up your act? Was it your wife?” She eyed him curiously.

  “I became a Christian in college the year before I met Merilee.”

  “How long ago did she pass away?” She moved closer.

  “About a year and a half ago.”

  “Oh, that’s too bad, Davey. I’m sorry to hear that. You must be so lonely.” Her lower lip curved in a pout as she inched closer.

  “Why should you be sorry? You had nothing to do with it.” He forced a chuckle.

  She paused and stared at him with a blank expression. No doubt he’d thrown her off by his sarcasm.

  “No worries. I feel better with every passing day.”

  Her gaze drifted to his mouth. “Have you dated since she passed away?”

  He grunted. “No. What does any of this have to do with Joey?’

  “It has a lot to do with him if you plan to adopt. Believe me, all the questions I’m asking are relevant to the upcoming hearing.”

  She moved even closer, as if testing him. His cell phone rang.

  “Excuse me.” He answered the call, turning his back toward her. “Dave’s Corporate Consulting. How may I help you?”

  “Dave, it’s me, Diane. What are you up to?”

  Joleen grabbed Dave’s bicep and whispered in a sultry voice, “Who is it, honey?”

  Dave gave her a tense smile. He did not want to be alone with her for long or things were likely to go south fast.

  “Is that a woman’s voice?” Diane asked.

  “Yes. I just got home.”

  Joleen made him nervous with her cat-like smile.

  “Oh no. She’s over there, isn’t she?”

  “That’s true.”

  “Don’t say another word. I’ll be right over.”

  “But . . . ” The phone went dead.

  Joleen studied him. “What was that all about?”

  “I’m not sure. They hung up before I could ask,” he hedged.

  She checked her watch. “I only have fifty minutes before I have to leave, so let’s get started.”

  She lowered herself onto the soft leather couch and crossed her legs so that her leg brushed against his.

  Snapping her briefcase open, she reached inside and pulled out a laptop. The majority of the questions she asked him were standard legal questions, but as she continued, the questions became increasingly personal.

  “Why did you decide to adopt a child?”

  He hated disclosing such embarrassing information, especially to an old girlfriend, but knew it was necessary. “I’m sterile. Isn’t that in the home study, or haven’t you read it yet?”

  “I hadn’t. Wow. You’re sterile?”

  He stiffened. “Why is that so surprising? It just means I don’t produce any sperm.”

  Joleen grinned wickedly. “That explains why I never got pregnant.”

  He gritted his teeth in frustration. “I’m sorry, but I’m really not in the mood for this.”

  He wanted to conclude the interview, which should probably not even be taking place—without his attorney present, anyway. Then he recalled that Diane had said she would be right over.

  “Can we take a quick break? I need to check on Joey.”

  “Sure.” Joleen touched his arm, her eyes hopeful. “I’ll wait for you.”

  “Good.”

  Dave took the stairs two at a time. Joey slept peacefully, his favorite stuffed chicky tucked snug under his arm. Dave hated to wake him, but if he had to, he would.

  The doorbell rang, and his chest tightened. Joleen would answer the door.

  As he descended the stairs he overheard the women talking. And it didn’t sound like a friendly conversation.

  “There you are.” Diane smiled up at him. “I was returning your Bible. Thanks for letting me borrow it.”

  “You’re welcome. Have you had a chance to read the new one yet?”

  Diane tucked
her hair behind her ear. “Not yet, but it’s beautiful.”

  Joleen rolled her eyes and returned to the couch. She made a show of typing something on her laptop.

  Dave ignored her. “Read anything interesting last night?”

  “It’s all very interesting.” Diane tapped her lower lip. “So far I think I like the story about the woman caught in adultery the best. I loved that her accusers dropped the rocks they held and went away while Jesus wrote in the sand, and how when they were the only two left, Jesus asked the woman who condemned her. When he said he didn’t condemn her either and told her to go and sin no more, that really touched me.”

  Joleen sighed loudly.

  Dave grinned. “That’s awesome. I love that story too.”

  Diane winked at him.

  He waved her toward the couch. “Have a seat. Can I get you anything to drink?”

  “No thanks. I just had a coke.”

  Joleen cleared her throat and raised her hand. “I’d like a drink.

  “Didn’t I ask you if you wanted one?”

  “No.”

  “I’m sorry. What would you like?”

  “Water’s fine.”

  “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

  Going out of the room, he glanced over his shoulder and saw them staring each other down. Not good.

  He went into the kitchen and returned as quickly as he could with three glasses of iced water with lemon. From the way they watched him approach, it was obvious that he’d been the topic of their discussion.

  “Here you go, ladies.”

  Diane peered at Joleen. “What brings you here on such short notice?”

  “I told you. I needed to ask Dave a few questions before our next hearing. I was close by, so I stopped over.” Joleen smiled at him. “He’s been very informative.”

  Diane’s smile wavered. She glared at Dave.

  “Tell me you didn’t say anything to her before I got here.”

  He shrugged. “Not much.”

  She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. “Remember when I told you not to say a word? Never ever talk to anyone about this case without me present, especially not to one of the attorneys involved. This is very, very important.”

  He folded his arms over his chest. “I don’t think I said anything that would be a problem.”

  She raised her brows. “Did she ask how you felt about Joey’s caseworker?”

  He glanced at Joleen, who smirked. “Why? Is that a problem?”

  “It depends on what you said.” Diane stared at Dave with apparent disbelief. “You didn’t say anything negative about her, did you?”

  “I told her I thought Mrs. Vela had something against me and that she was screwing up Joey’s life. You’ve seen her in action, Diane. She’s a real witch.”

  Diane let out a low groan. “Can we talk alone?”

  “Sure.” He glanced at Joleen. “Why don’t you go check on Joey. See if he’s still sleeping, okay?”

  Joleen rose from the couch, smoothing her skirt. “Sure, Davey. I have to see him awake as part of my home visit, anyway. Be back in a few minutes.”

  The second Joleen disappeared from sight Diane raised her hands and ground out, “What were you thinking? You should never tell an opposing attorney stuff like that. She’ll rip you to shreds on the witness stand. Never ever talk to her again without me present. You got that?”

  His neck heated. “I heard you,” he snapped. “But I don’t see why you’re worried. Joleen isn’t mean like that.”

  “How can you be so sure?”

  He studied the carpet. “I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t. But I guess you’re right. I won’t do that again.”

  “Good.” Her tone lightened and the lines on her forehead relaxed. She placed her hands on his arms. “I want you to win your case. Joey deserves to have a wonderful father like you. Please, you have to trust me on this.”

  He sensed the heat of her gaze and peered up.

  Her eyes shone, welling with tears of apparent concern for him and for Joey. Deeply moved, he touched her cheek and leaned closer, fully intending to kiss her.

  “Ahh!”

  Joey’s piercing scream made him flinch. He ran for the stairs, Diane following close behind. He reached Joey’s room, winded from the quick climb.

  “What is it?”

  Joleen’s hand trembled as she covered her mouth. She looked close to tears.

  “I don’t know what happened. He opened his eyes and completely freaked out.”

  Dave glanced at Joey, who wailed and gagged. “Joey, please don’t do that. You don’t have to be afraid. This lady isn’t going to take you for a visit.”

  Joey coughed, then stopped and stared at Dave for a few seconds, his expression wary. Heaving a sigh, he popped his thumb back into his mouth. Dave picked him up and held him close.

  “This is what he goes through when he thinks he has to go on a visit with his mother. It really scares me.”

  Joleen nodded. “I do see your point. You say he does this every time?”

  “Unfortunately, yes.”

  Seconds later Dave heard a slight giggle erupt from Joey. He had reached over Dave’s shoulder to play with Diane’s hair.

  “So sof’.”

  Diane smiled. “You like this?”

  Joey’s head bounced as he nodded his agreement. Diane stood so close Dave sensed the heat from her skin.

  Joleen muttered something unintelligible.

  “I like your hair too.” Diane fuzzed Joey’s head.

  Joey threw himself into an upright position and commanded, “Me up!” He raised his arms for Diane to take him.

  Startled, Dave faced Diane. He couldn’t believe it. Joey wanted Diane to hold him? He never wanted any woman to hold him besides Katia. Joey’s eager acceptance of Diane made Dave’s heart warm.

  He released Joey into Diane’s arms. All twenty pounds of him. She kissed the baby hair sticking up on the top of his head.

  “My mommy,” he whispered, loud enough for Dave to hear.

  Diane’s eyes widened and a gasp escaped her lips.

  “Well I’ve been here long enough,” Joleen announced. “I’ll see your little family in court, Dave.” She turned and showed herself out.

  She stood taller as she strode past him. Something about her grin gave him the sinking feeling Joleen had something devious planned and that she’d reveal it soon . . . at Joey’s expense.

  Chapter 19

  Joey had one more visit from his attorney before the evidentiary hearing. The second visit didn’t go very well either, with Joey wanting to be held by Dave or Diane the entire time. He refused to go anywhere near Joleen, no matter how much Dave encouraged him. If nothing else, Dave figured she’d see how strong willed Joey could be. Fortunately all visits with the birth mother had been suspended until after the placement hearing.

  Diane thought it might help if they talked strategy one last time, so they drove to court together. Dave’s neck muscles were taut from worrying when she arrived to pick him up.

  “Thanks for coming early.” In spite of his aching muscles, he pulled her into a warm embrace.

  She eyed him skeptically. “You look tense.”

  “I am.”

  “Turn around.”

  “Why?”

  “Just do it.”

  He obeyed. Her strong fingers massaged the knots out of his shoulders and neck.

  Little Joey scooted around Dave and wrapped his arms around Diane’s legs, crying, “Mommy! Up!”

  With a wistful smile Diane glanced over at Dave. Moisture had collected on her lashes, which she attempted to blink away. She scooped Joey up and carried him to the couch.

  Dave watched as Diane kissed Joey’s hair when he snuggled close to her neck. The look of longing in her eyes as she gazed at him melted Dave’s heart.

  “I’m sorry if this is hard for you,” he murmured.

  She laid her cheek against Joey’s head. “It’s okay.”

  “
I really hate to tell him to stop. He needs a mom and if calling you mom satisfies that need, I don’t want to ask him to quit. Not unless it really bothers you. Does it?”

  “No.” She shook her silky blonde head, a tear rolling down her cheek. “It makes me feel good. I love that Joey sees me as his mother, even if it’s just pretend.” She hugged Joey and kissed his hair one more time.

  “I’m glad. You’re such a natural with him.”

  He watched her to make sure his comment hadn’t offended. He could see her as Joey’s mother. But could she?

  She gave Joey a brief pat on the back. His son snuggled closer, burrowing into her chest. She caught his gaze. The gold flecks in her eyes mesmerized him.

  “You’re a wonderful father. That’s why I’m fighting for you. You have to adopt Joey. You really love him, and he knows it.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate that.” He tore his gaze from her before he got choked up. “If we don’t head out soon, we won’t have as much time to prepare.”

  “Well, I’m ready. Let’s go.” She stood and adjusted Joey in her arms.

  Dave grabbed Joey’s diaper bag, swung it over his shoulder, snatched up his car seat, then set the house alarm and locked the front door behind them. He stood still for a moment and admired Diane as she carried Joey on her hip to the car. She had a definite maternal side to her.

  Watching her cuddle with Joey and talk softly to him made Dave want to draw her closer to himself—to make her legally Joey’s mother. But he shook off the thought. He had to focus on Joey’s hearing today.

  * * *

  When she and Dave held hands and bowed their heads together in a quick prayer in the courtroom, warmth spread though her. This time she wasn’t mocking his spiritual leadership, but asking for it. How quickly things had changed.

  Diane usually asked Rachel when she had questions or when she didn’t understand something the Bible said. But she felt a special intimacy when she talked with Dave about the Lord. Whenever they discussed scriptures their hearts seemed to knit together and their communication deepened in a special way.

  Dave concluded the whispered prayer and asked, “What are you thinking?” With their faces mere inches apart, she grinned. “I’ll tell you later.”

  “All rise!” the bailiff announced.