Holly's Heart

by Fiona McArthur

  ‘You’ve been back in town two weeks and already you’re thinking like a farmer again.’

  He laughed. ‘Funny that.’

  ‘I have enough to do at the shop. I’ve fitted out the back room with one main table for little private pre-events. Maggie and Isabella suggested I start this as a side venture to be included in the wedding planner’s suggested occasions.’

  Ben consciously didn’t frown, though he wanted to. It was none of his business, but when would she have time for that? ‘Sounds like a lot of work.’

  She shrugged. ‘It seemed like a good idea at the time, and does make a substantial profit. Thankfully Mrs F runs Saturdays like a well-oiled machine, but in the week leading up I have to ensure all the ordering is done and the room set up.’

  Ben decided it sounded too much for Holly. She needed a holiday. Maybe a camping holiday. As if she’d read his mind for a change, she tilted her head. ‘Thank you for towing our little van home for us.’

  ‘You’re welcome. I think you and the boys will have a lot of fun with it.’ He watched her slow smile reach her eyes at the thought of it. ‘I hope I get invited.’

  Then she looked at him and raised her brows. ‘I’d love your advice on good places to camp. But if you come you’ll have to bring your own tent.’

  Worth it absolutely. ‘I have a comfy double swag.’ Much quieter than a squeaky van.

  ‘Double swag, hmm?’

  ‘I’m a big man.’

  Ben saw the heat as her eyes studied him slowly. Teasingly. Lingering on the shoulder she’d just rubbed, travelling down the front of his chest, skimming down his legs and coming back up slowly past the sudden heat in his groin. He could almost sense her warm fingers touching him. Caressing. His collar suddenly tight, he slid his finger inside against his warm neck, and she laughed.

  ‘Good to have you on the back foot for a change, Dr Brierly.’

  Oh, I’m on the back foot, all right, he thought. But I’m making progress. ‘Not really, but I’m happy to take turns,’ he lied. Then crossed to her and leaned in to drop a swift but thorough kiss on her lips. ‘Good night, dear Holly, and thank you for an amazing time.’

  Then he forced himself to walk out the door. Again.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Holly

  The kiss did it. Made her want to grab the back of his head, sink her hands into his hair, and not let him go. Then drag him into her bedroom and have her wicked way with him.

  Instead, Holly watched Ben walk away from her and pressed her shaking hands on the edge of the sink. It’s okay, it’s okay, she chanted silently. But it wasn’t. She’d wanted to shut her bedroom door from two grieving six-year-olds and lose herself in a man they barely knew. It had been a crazy, roller coaster of a twenty-four hours and she really hadn’t had time to draw breath and think about it.

  The prolonged excitement and stress of Jasmine’s wedding, the drama of Willa’s eclamptic fit bringing back memories of why she’d left medicine.

  Straight to the cheek-burning, incredible, sensual feast of PTSD sex with Ben in her bed.

  She’d rushed from there to the boys arriving home this morning, when she’d only just been showered and dressed.

  Straight onto blowing a month’s living expenses on a crazy little caravan home that she wasn’t even sure she could pull successfully behind her car.

  She blew out a breath. Then another one. She didn’t regret the camping dream—the boys were ecstatic and that made it worth it—but she’d have to pray for some decent takings in the shop. Thank goodness for the absolute mania of customers they welcomed on Saturdays, before the afternoon weddings.

  But the most distracting, most confusing and heart-thumpingly worrisome part, was how she could forget the boys totally when she was in Ben’s arms. That was not good.

  Not the feeling of being lost, like she’d been two weeks ago, but confused in new and treacherous ways.

  How had Ben become such a big part of their lives, her life, so fast? How had her life gotten so crazy? And dangerous?

  A couple of ball-kicking sessions at the park with the boys, a few cups of coffee in the mornings and a platonic evening drink session. A medical drama they’d shared that led to him making love to her with mind-blowing, stamina-filled, expertise—go you, Ben Brierly—and now, bereft, watching him go with this feeling of loss.

  Lucky he was gone.

  Wasn’t that what she wanted? Him gone. Her standing alone at the sink while the boys slept. She didn’t want more unexpected, post-traumatic, ‘medicinal’ sex with Ben.

  She laughed with a trace of hysteria. Of course she didn’t.

  No. She needed to chill. Needed to go back to normal life. Boys off to school. Her downstairs to make stress-free coffee where nobody died. Ben would be busy with his practice. Everything would settle.

  But deep down in her belly she knew everything had changed in tumultuous ways and none of them would ever be the same again.

  *

  The next morning the first thing the boys did was rush down to the back shed and climb all over the caravan, opening and shutting little cupboards and bouncing on the bed. If absolute worse came to worst, and they actually never dragged it away from home, they would still have a very cool cubbyhouse.

  Eric had made a point of telling her he’d disconnected the gas bottle that ran the little refrigerator and stove, and confirmed he’d removed any matches or poisons. The man obviously knew a lot about six-year-old boys.

  After checking them, Holly left them to play down there until she was ready for work herself. She made the school lunches and the beds and tidied the flat for the day.

  ‘Come on boys. You need to get ready for school.’

  Two disappointed faces poked out the van’s door. Big blue eyes cajoling and sad in an unspoken plea for absenteeism from their studies.

  Her heart melted, but no way was she letting them know that. ‘None of that. When you come home you can play in there again. School teaches you to write and spell, so you can make lists of what we need to buy for our first camping trip.’

  Tom nodded at that. ‘Come on, Pat. We’ll come back this afternoon. And we can tell everyone at school.’

  Even Pat brightened at that and jumped out after his brother and ran up the yard to the steps. Holly shut the door of the little van with a smile to herself and followed them into the flat.

  *

  Ben arrived for his coffee at eight thirty-five. The bell tinkled and there he was, with his height and breadth taking up most of the doorway. His dark eyes went straight to hers, and his sensuous mouth, that mouth that could create such achingly amazing magic on her skin, curved in appreciation and she could feel the tingle run down her neck with the impact.

  He glanced around the empty shop, then swiftly leaned across the counter to touch his lips to hers, his eyes wickedly daring her to stop him. ‘Good morning, Holly.’

  She couldn’t help leaning to meet him halfway, even though she knew it was a bad idea. ‘Hey you. That’s enough.’ And tried not to want more. ‘This is a professional business. And, it’s your first day as the respectable Wirralong doctor.’

  ‘Sorry.’ He didn’t look it. ‘But I needed that. I will be respectable in half an hour and I was nervous.’

  She didn’t believe him. ‘Really?’

  He pretended to think about that. ‘Not so much about the practice. I was worried I wouldn’t get a kiss.’

  She pretended to glare at him. ‘Well, no more of that.’ The bell rang behind them and she tore her eyes away from him. ‘Morning, Al. Short black. Won’t be a moment.’ Al was early.

  ‘Morning, Holly. Doc.’ A world of insinuation in those greetings.

  Al must have decided on that salutation for Ben, Holly mused, with a small smile as she made Ben’s coffee. And he was five minutes early just to see if he could catch them doing something gossip-worthy, she’d bet.

  Small towns were bubbling pots of rumour and she had no doubt she and Ben wer
e floating at the top of the pot like the froth she was scooping into Ben’s coffee.

  She schooled her face to neutrality. ‘There you go, Ben. Double strength, cap. Good luck with your first day.’

  Ben put down the money. ‘Thanks.’ He nodded at Al and her politely, and went on his way. As if he’d read her mind.

  ‘Good catch, that young man,’ Al said suggestively.

  ‘I didn’t realise you were that way inclined, Al.’ She smiled back blandly and handed his coffee over the counter. ‘Short black. Three dollars fifty, thanks Al.’

  Al stared at her as he tried to make out what she meant. Then shook his head and paid.

  Holly stood staring long after the little bell stopped ringing. Was she making her boys an object of gossip with her dalliance with Ben? Were people talking behind their hands? A cold dread settled in her belly as she considered the impact if the boys were teased about their aunt and the doctor. They didn’t need more scrutiny or uncertainty about their lives. They needed her undivided attention.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Ben

  Ben’s first day as Wirralong’s doctor passed uneventfully and with surprising swiftness. His new secretary, Joyce, had filled all but the last appointment, and he was sitting that one out in case someone turned up last minute.

  He’d been warmly welcomed by the townsfolk who had more the disease of curiosity than illness of body, but he was okay with that. Better to get the medical histories of people before they came for a life-or-death reason. Joyce had been busy collecting faxes and electronic transmissions from other out-of-town surgeries and adding them to his fledgling medical record store for his new patients.

  Even this early in the scheme of things, judging by the feedback he’d received today, his practice would be a success, something he’d always worked towards. And sometimes had wonderedhe’d ever be able to achieve the reality of, yet here he was—dream realised—yet still vaguely unsatisfied.

  One hour until he could see Holly, if he dropped in after work.

  Which was pretty scary stuff. And lame. Lame, Brierly, he mocked himself.

  But he’d spent many brief pauses between patients today thinking about the kiss he’d stolen this morning. Better that than get lost in the absolute feast of memories from the other night.

  There was no doubt: he wanted to spend the rest of his life waking up to Holly Peterson next to him, though preferably as Holly Brierly. Now he just had to work out how to breach those independent walls she’d erected to keep him (and every other male, thank goodness) out of her life.

  She’s probably not even thinking about him. Of course she wasn’t. He’d have to do something about that.

  And the boys would be poring over the little van. He distracted himself imagining them tearing home from school, to rush out the back and plan their camping trip. She had said she wanted his help for their first trip. Suggestions for places to pull up and discover the excitement of outdoor adventures.

  He could help there. She could camp on Brierly Park; they had a great bend in the creek that was safe for swimming, a long way from the main house, yet well away from the road, so she’d be safe.

  The creek wasn’t too fast for the boys, and he had a knotted rope tied from a high branch of the river gum that he used to swing out over the swimming hole, the boys would love to drop from that into the water. Yep. They’d enjoy that. Though, he’d better replace the old frayed rope with a new one. And maybe tidy up the stone slab steps so Holly could get down to the edge easily.

  There was an old fireplace he’d made with brick years ago—because his grandfather had been the first to tell him about the water inside river stones, which could explode if you fired them hot enough—and they could put a barbecue plate on that. He glanced at his watch again.

  Almost five o’clock.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Holly

  Holly stood with her hands on her hips. She had to stop the boys climbing out of the windows of the caravan. They’d discovered you could slide the screens out and were leaping in and out like little flying lizards.

  ‘Come on boys. That’s dangerous. You could fall on your heads.’

  The suppressed laughter behind made her spin to face the noise. Ben stood there with the biggest grin on his face. He looked very handsome and not at all ruffled from his first day at work. The collar of his white shirt was still done up and his blue tie matched his eyes. She wanted to loosen them both. Her thoughts had drifted to the doctor’s surgery up the road many times today, as she wondered how his patient flow had turned out.

  Instead she indicated the boys. ‘All very well for you,’ she pretended to frown. ‘It won’t be children’s services at your door for poor parenting when I have to take them to the hospital for a head injury.’

  ‘Nor yours.’ He smiled at her. ‘You’re the best aunt.’ She couldn’t help the little spurt of pleasure his words gave her.

  ‘Ben’s here.’ Pat’s cry made Holly turn back as the two menaces streaked towards them. Before he’d even reached the adults, Pat was talking to Ben. ‘You should see all the cool places there are to hide in the van, Ben. Come and look.’

  ‘I will, but only if you stop giving your aunt grey hair by hanging upside down out of the windows. I wonder if you think it’s fair to make her worry, when she’s gone to all this effort?’

  Tom had arrived by this time and his serious face turned and studied Holly’s expression. ‘You’re right. We’re sorry, Holly.’ He glanced at his brother. ‘We’ll use the door unless there’s an emergency.’

  Holly tried to keep a straight face. ‘An emergency that needs you to not use the door? That sounds very sensible.’ Tom narrowed his eyes suspiciously and she leaned over and kissed him. ‘I don’t want you to hurt yourself. That’s all. How are you doing with the list?’

  He looked guiltily at his brother. ‘Still on it.’

  Holly turned to Ben. ‘The boys started a list at school today of all the things you could need to take camping. The whole class has it as homework to practise their spelling and they wanted to do their list down in the van.’

  ‘Well, how about I have a quick cup of tea with your aunt, ask about her day and tell her about mine, you finish your list, and then your aunt and I will come down and read it in,’ he glanced at his watch, ‘fifteen minutes.’

  The twins glanced at each other and nodded. ‘We could do that.’ They turned and sprinted back to the van and Ben looked at Holly. ‘Hope that’s okay to foist myself on you for fifteen minutes.’

  She pretended to sigh loudly. ‘I suppose so. Worth the nuisance if you made them use the door instead.’

  ‘Unless there’s an emergency.’

  ‘If it’s an emergency what else could they do? Come and have a cuppa. How was your day? I did wonder if everything ran smoothly.’

  They climbed the stairs to the flat and Holly wondered what it must be like to have someone like Ben coming home and sharing conversation at the end of every day. Sharing the boys. Sharing family life. Not that they made life arduous, but the conversation of another adult was a precious thing, as were the frequent appreciative glances he sent her way. A girl could get used to an admiring man visiting after work.

  ‘Tell me about your day, first.’

  Holly thought about her little café, the steady stream of patrons, and the older lady who had paused as she paid for her coffee and surprised her.

  ‘We were busy. Your grandmother came in today. She looks happier than she has done; you must have made her birthday special yesterday.’

  ‘I’m glad. And I’m glad she talked to you.’ Ben looked mildly surprised. ‘I did mention you and the boys.’

  ‘That explains it. She was a little,’ she hesitated over the word, ‘warmer than usual. And complimented me on the cleanliness of the café.’

  Ben laughed. ‘She really is a sweetie. Just not a people-person, since my grandfather died. But you are fortunate. Cleanliness is next to Godliness, you kno
w.’

  Holly couldn’t imagine anyone less sweet than Ben’s grandmother, but he would know more than anyone. ‘So, how was it growing up at Brierly Park?’ She set the cups out and poured hot water into the teapot.

  He was looking at her as if the question surprised him. ‘Very good. I was lucky to be loved so well after the loss of my parents. I remember my grandmother as much happier, before that time, when I visited with my parents before they died, and I think the sudden loss of her only son changed her. Made her bitter.’

  Holly thought about that and it did make sense. She was glad Ben was loved.

  Ben went on. ‘My grandfather was a wonderful role model to step in after their loss. Kind, quiet-spoken, and generous with his time. He never grew impatient with Gran when she snapped at other people. I guess he knew her heart was broken.’

  ‘Well, today she did ask after the boys.’

  ‘She loves kids—just decided to dislike all adults permanently once she was a widow.’

  Holly couldn’t help smiling and she hoped Ben wouldn’t be offended. ‘I’ll keep that in mind.’

  ‘You should.’ His eyes danced with that mischievous look he’d apparently never grown out of. Reminded her of Pat. ‘I’ve already asked her if I could offer the camping spot down by the river for your first camping venture. You can drive in and stop without reversing, but there’s plenty of room to practise too. It’s safe from passers-by, a long way from the house, and there’s already a fireplace and safe swimming hole. Gran said you and the boys are welcome to use the spot anytime.’

  ‘You’ve listed most of the things I was thinking about.’ She narrowed her eye at him. ‘Did you describe it deliberately that way to entice me?’

  His eyes warmed. ‘No. I could have said it has a gorgeously private little wildflower-filled grotto, with soft grass, no nettles, and shade where nobody would find us, but I was trying to think of the boys.’