Holly's Heart

by Fiona McArthur

  She laughed, and poured the tea, mainly to hide her embarrassment at how he’d painted someplace she would love to see one day, with him. She had the feeling he was seeing the same picture she was, and neither of them had clothes on. Apparently sleeping with Ben made it hard to stay sane. She needed to drag her mind away from those thoughts.

  ‘And will you be there?’

  ‘If I’m welcome. I’m offering to bring my own tent and share your campsite if you’ll have me. No strings. Just another adult in case you need one for your first trip.’

  It was a generous offer. And did help the uneasiness she’d been fighting for sleeping in a strange paddock with just the boys. ‘That would be good the first night. Thank you.’ Probably every night but she didn’t want him to feel he had to.

  ‘Done.’

  With typical Ben Brierly speed. She’d been going to watch that. ‘And thank you to your grandmother for the unexpected offer. It sounds perfect.’

  ‘Thank you for the tea,’ he said in the same prim tone she’d used.

  ‘Stop teasing me. I’m appreciating you. Tell me about your day?’ She really did want to know. Maybe even with a tiny bit of jealousy, which was something she hadn’t expected. She fought the urge to be envious. She had her life just where she wanted it, medicine was not where she wanted to be.

  Ben looked at her for a moment as if aware of her struggle, but he couldn’t be. She pulled her face into polite interest.

  He obliged. ‘My new secretary had almost filled my appointment schedule for today and tomorrow, though most of the patients were there to introduce themselves, rather than being sick. I admit I did have one strange rash I couldn’t decide on.’

  He grinned at her. ‘Not a lot of people I could share that with who might be interested.’

  Holly couldn’t help but be interested. She’d seen a lot of strange skin flares and lesions in her time in emergency department. ‘Rashes are tricky. Tell me about it.’

  He slanted a glance at her. ‘I could, but then I’d have to kill you.’

  She rolled her eyes. ‘It’s not a breach of confidentiality if you don’t tell me who it is. Plus, you’re discussing the case with another doctor in a consultative way.’ Not something she would have said to anyone else but Ben. Funny that.

  ‘Thank you, Doctor.’ He teased her and she threw the tea towel lying on the table at him, but of course he caught it. Sometimes he infuriated her, mostly he just made her smile inside, but it was so good to have him to spar with.

  He spread his hands. ‘My patient. Young woman. Past history of eczema, but this is different. Her creases are affected, started behind her knees, then inner elbows, neck, groin, under her bra line, woke with it and the itch became gradually worse every day. Does look very uncomfortable.’

  ‘Has she seen anyone else?’

  ‘Yes. They tried cortisone, antihistamines, Valium.’ Here he spread his hands in disbelief. ‘She’s scratching her heart out and they want her to be relaxed about it.’ He shook his head.

  ‘How long has she had it?’

  ‘A month.’

  ‘And has she been travelling anywhere?’

  Ben looked at her approvingly. ‘My thoughts, too.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘Only a quick trip to Europe for a week, just before it started.’

  Holly had an idea, but she wanted to hear Ben’s provisional diagnosis first. ‘So, what did you tell her?’

  ‘That it could be some form of mite, and to wash with a mite lotion such as benzyl benzoate, then shower fully, change clothes. Sleep in a different room and come back and see me tomorrow.’

  Holly nodded. ‘I’d go for that too. I had a man from northern Queensland who had the worst rash I’d seen and that’s what it turned out to be. Bush mite. Insane scratching, red bumps, and new itches the next day. That’s the treatment. But I’m thinking bed bugs, she could have brought them home and now they’ve set up camp at her house, infested her own bed, and the clothes she wears.’

  Ben nodded.

  ‘If it’s that …’ Holly shook her head. ‘The poor woman.’

  ‘She’s been off work for a month and she’s ready to scratch her arms off.’

  Holly grimaced. ‘I hope the lotion and the bedroom change works.’

  ‘I’ll keep you posted.’ He pushed his empty cup away. ‘But enough of my work. I’m starting to scratch thinking about it. Let’s go see the boys and tell them we have a camping spot.’

  Absently, Holly ran her finger around the back of her neck and scrubbed with her nails. ‘I haven’t said yes yet.’ But her mind was still thinking about skin diseases, treatments, past patients and helping people with little problems—and big ones. This was the first time she’d missed her profession. And that was Ben’s fault. She suspected he knew it.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Ben

  Ben watched Holly and knew what she was thinking. How had he come to that? Being able to read her mind. Then she narrowed her eyes at him thoughtfully and he decided to backpedal away from talking about medicine.

  ‘It’s an easy caravan to manoeuvre. I think the size is perfect for you,’ he said as he stood and took his cup to the sink and rinsed it carefully to give her time to forget they’d talked about his work. And what should have been her work. ‘Your car will manage to pull it easily, but you’ll need to get two extension mirrors to add to your side rear vision.

  When he turned back she’d stopped frowning. ‘Eric gave me his detachable mirrors. He doesn’t need them for the new camper home. And showed me how to put them on my car doors.’

  ‘Great. How about Saturday to take the van for a drive? Or is that too soon?’

  She put her own cup in the sink and looked out the kitchen window to where the boys were at least not climbing in and out of the windows. It looked like they were fixing the screens back into place. They’d listened to him. Not to her.

  ‘Sure. I doubt anytime would be too soon for them. And it’s their birthday next weekend. The camping equipment was a big part of their presents.’

  ‘Their first birthday without their mum?’

  She looked at him. ‘Yes. And I admit I’m worried. The van is my present. The tents and boy things are their presents. The boys didn’t want a party.’

  When Holly’s birthday came around he’d like to give her a party. A one-man party. Pamper her, wine and dine her, shower gifts on her. He had it bad. ‘Were you thinking of staying out one night or two?’

  ‘Two. The boys want to go Friday and Saturday and come home Sunday?’ She smiled. ‘Though, one conversation went along the lines of, they would really like to go for a week and miss school.’

  So that counted out the chance of him asking her out to dinner this weekend. ‘School holidays are coming.’

  ‘Yes, but I have a coffee shop to run.’

  ‘You could set up camp and drop in and out. It’s no problem to Gran or me if the van stays there set up over the holidays.’

  He saw the moment she closed down. He had been pushing. Would he never learn? ‘Or not.’ He held out his hand. ‘Come on. Let’s see their lists and then I have to go make my dinner and get ready for my second day as Wirralong’s new doctor.’

  She opened her mouth and then closed it again. ‘You’re right. It’s getting late.’ She didn’t take his hand.

  *

  An hour later he was back in his own flat staring at the black screen of the television he had no desire to switch on. Why did she shut him out? It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy his company. Or that the boys disliked him. The four of them had worked well together, checking off the sometimes-inventive spelling of the list of bedding and food supplies for the little cupboards inside the van.

  But Holly had been distant with him. Had put up the wall he knew from past experience worked very efficiently, and he wanted to know why.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Holly

  Friday arrived before Holly knew it.

 
A lot of it had to do with the organising of her special events. A morning tea for the parents of the bride and groom to be held in the tiny function room on Saturday.

  Last night the boys had been barely able to close their eyes when she tucked them into bed. They’d spent the afternoon after school packing the food they were taking into the little cupboards and making Holly’s bed in the van. The boys’ tent and sleeping bags were stacked onto the floor ready to go. The weather had been checked extensively and each time confirmed it wouldn’t rain and this was going to happen.

  Tonight, they would be camping! So, so exciting.

  Holly wasn’t sure if she’d done the right thing to ask Ben to come with them. She had no doubt if word got out she’d gone camping with Dr Ben Brierly, despite two six-year-old chaperones, then everyone would assume they were ‘together.’

  Everything fell apart at a quarter to two.

  The phone rang during the last of the lunchtime flurry of activity and she considered letting it go to message bank as she cut a piece of cake and boxed it for the current customer.

  The phone kept ringing. She handed over the package, receiving the right coins for the amount thankfully, glanced to see the shop was temporarily empty, and scooped the handset up. ‘Outback Brides Coffee Shop.’ Her voice was smoothly welcoming.

  Two minutes later she put the phone down and slumped back against the wall. A huge sigh seemed to come from her toes as she put her hands over her face. How was she going to tell the boys?

  ‘Are you okay?’ Ben’s voice, filed with concern, came from in front of her and she opened her eyes. His brows were drawn together as he studied her, and for a minute she wanted to rest her head on his big broad chest and burst into tears.

  She couldn’t do that. Instead she tried to infuse some rational resignation into her tone instead of deep disappointment. ‘Poor Mrs F has broken her wrist. She’s in hospital and they’re taking her to theatre this afternoon to set it. I can’t go camping and I’m not sure how I will break it to the boys.’

  Ben kept his eyes on hers. Said very gently, ‘They’ll understand.’

  She looked at him and shook her head. ‘They’re six. Or they’ll be seven tomorrow. It’s their birthday. They shouldn’t have to understand. They were so excited to go camping.’

  ‘Can you close the shop for the day? Will one day make a difference?’

  She shook her head. ‘I can’t tomorrow. I have a “parents of the bride and groom” function on from eleven to one, and the usual Saturday morning rush to contend with. Saturdays carry us through the week and I’ve been spending up big this week.’

  Ben didn’t say anything.

  She sighed. ‘I’ll just have to postpone for a week. Though asking Mrs F to manage with one hand next week is not really an option either.’

  He tapped his fingers on his watch as he thought. ‘How about I take the boys tomorrow morning instead of tonight and you come after work Saturday afternoon. We could leave for Brierly Park to set everything up as soon as the sun’s up, that way you get to have their birthday morning with them, and when we arrive at the Park, setting up would give them something to do all day. They can surprise you in the afternoon with the perfect campsite.’

  It wasn’t that easy. And it was a heck of a lot to ask a man who’d only known the boys for two weeks. ‘I can’t ask you to do that.’

  ‘You’re not asking; I’m offering. And the boys won’t be too disappointed if it’s only a one-night delay. Not if they still get to set it all up and spend all of Saturday and Saturday night there.’

  I’ll be disappointed not to be there, she thought, but pushed that thought away. Ben was right. She’d still arrive for the late afternoon. The camp would be assembled. The boys would have ownership over the erection of everything and that would be a responsibility for them. Fitting for their birthday and growing up. But what if something happened to them and she wasn’t there?

  The idea filled her with sudden panic. She couldn’t bear that thought. ‘No. It’s too much to ask you in case something happened to one of them.’

  He looked at her as if she’d suddenly gone mad. ‘What’s going to happen to them? Holly? We grew up here. I’ve camped all over Brierly Park by myself from not much older than the boys. We did school camps. I’m pretty sure you and your sister went camping. You can’t keep them in cotton wool.’

  She wasn’t. ‘I’m not keeping them in cotton wool.’ She’d promised her sister she’d look after her twins. ‘I’d be happy if I was there in case something happens.’

  ‘If something happens I promise I’ll call a doctor,’ Ben teased. He smiled at her and some of the panic died. She couldn’t help the tiny smile she felt on her lips in return. He was right. She was being silly, but what if …? She sighed again and forced her shoulders to relax. He was right. It was only a morning. And she was lucky to have his offer.

  She’d be finished work by two in the afternoon. It wouldn’t be dark, and she could bring out the birthday cake when she came. ‘If you honestly don’t mind, then thank you. We’ll ask them. And if that’s what they want to do, then, thank you very much. You’re a lifesaver.’

  His dark eyes smiled at her and she felt her belly give a distinct kick. Her voice came out softer than she intended. ‘I can’t understand why I didn’t always appreciate you.’

  He leaned towards her over the counter. ‘Neither do I, but I forgive you.’

  She laughed. ‘Twin schoolboys will sort that ego out, if you have them all day.’

  ‘I’ll enjoy it. And Sunday morning I’ll do the honours and cook up a bacon and eggs feast for us all.’

  ‘This gets better and better. I might spoil myself with my newfound freedom and have a long soak in a bubble bath after work before I come.’ She was teasing.

  He looked at her and something suggested he was contemplating that picture a little too intently.

  Hurriedly she added, ‘Just joking.’

  ‘I’m sure the boys would be very happy if you spoiled yourself for an extra hour before you came.’

  She waved her hand at him as a customer came in. ‘Did you want coffee to take away?’

  *

  The twins recovered from their disappointment of one less night of camping faster than she thought they would. Mentioning that Ben would pick them up for an early start and then watch them setup down at the creek had them bouncing with plans of what they’d show him. She couldn’t help a little twinge of envy that he’d see them in action and she wouldn’t.

  That was silly. She’d be there in the afternoon to see what they’d achieved, and she should be happy to see them leaping around so happily when her work had interfered with their plans.

  Tom must have caught the flash of something on her face because he sidled up to her and put his hand on her arm. ‘I’m sorry you’ll miss out on the morning, Holly.’

  Her heart seemed to fill her chest. She was lucky to have two such wonderful nephews. ‘You’re a sweetie, Tom, thank you. I am happy that Ben can get you boys there early tomorrow. It would be a shame to put it off till next week and then if something else happened we’d be very disappointed.’

  He looked worried for a moment and she rested her hand on his hair. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘Is Mrs Fairclough going to be all right? She isn’t in too much pain?’

  Holly hugged him. ‘No, darling. I dropped in just before school finished and she was fine. I think she was more sorry you boys were missing a night in the van.’

  ‘We’ll have other nights,’ Tom said. Too philosophically for a six-year-old and Holly was reminded again how much these boys had lost, so recently, and yet they could still think of others. ‘You could make her a card and I’ll drop it in tomorrow afternoon on the way to Brierly Park? Would you like that?’

  *

  The boys woke at six the next morning, and Holly reminded herself she’d shared enough Christmas mornings with her sister’s family to know the twins had the capacity to get up even
earlier. She’d bought them both head lamp torches and an inexpensive fishing rod and reel as surprise presents, which were greeted with whoops of delight. If they enjoyed fishing, she’d look at more robust rods next time, though her lack of knowledge meant she might have to borrow Ben’s expertise on angling for that one. She seemed to be borrowing Ben for a lot of things.

  Ben arrived at seven and after a brief flurry of activity the boys were dressed and ready and hopping from foot to foot to get going. She laughed and shook her head and shooed them all out the door, admonishing them to mind Ben and be good.

  As he left she caught Ben’s eye and they smiled at each other, a companionable, adult smile that shared a mutual pleasure at the boys’ excitement. The twins had run ahead, and he stepped back into the room and pulled her against him for a brief hug. He felt so good as she hugged him back. Then he tilted her face with one big hand and dropped a kiss on her lips. ‘I’ll take good care of them.’

  Her lips tingled with the feel of where his firm mouth had rested against hers, but her eyes still stung. ‘I know you will.’ But she couldn’t help the tiny shiver of foreboding as he followed the boys down the steps.

  Then the little caravan was disappearing down the road on the back of Ben’s Rover and she was standing alone at the door.

  For some stupid reason she felt like crying.

  *

  She finished work at two. The function had been a huge success, and she had the boys’ birthday cake in her arms as she opened her flat door to get changed. She smiled as she stripped off her clothes for a quick shower and glanced at the bath in the corner. No way could she be patient enough for a soak before she went. She felt like she’d missed out on everything and how much she’d rather be with the boys. And would rather be with Ben.

  If it wasn’t for Ben she’d be going camping with the boys on her own. But she wasn’t alone. If she gave him the chance she suspected she would never be alone again. She imagined snuggling up to Ben in the little van, his big frame taking over most of the space inside, but that wasn’t going to happen, even if the mental picture warmed her more than the heated water running over her skin. She snapped the shower off.