The Time Travel Handbook

by James Wyllie

  OH KINSHASA!

  Boxing aside, KINSHASA offers travellers plenty of other diversions. Most SHOPPING needs can be met at the fabulous Art Deco SEDEC BUILDING (Boulevard de 30 Juin), previously a motor showroom and now the city’s first self-service grocery store. For African crafts, head for the MARCHÉ DES VOLEURS, where you will find plenty of malachite and ivory trinkets and Kasai carpets; but do remember our clients are not allowed to bring souvenirs home.

  A vibrant post-independence THEATRE scene is developing on the Kasa-Vubu Road, but Kinshasa’s strong suit is MUSIC, DANCE AND NIGHTLIFE. In fact, you have arrived in the midst of a golden era and are likely to find superb sounds in almost neighbourhood bar. Among the leading bands of the time playing Kinshasa, look out for ZAÏKO LANGA LANGA, FRÈRES SOKI & L’ORCHESTRE BELLA BELLA, EMPIRE BAKUBA and, above all, FRANCO & L’ORCHESTRE TPOK JAZZ. You are likely to hear one of these at the SCOTCH CLUB, LE BODEGA (though do bear in mind this is also a house of ill repute) or the landmark LA PERRUCHE BLEU. The HOTEL OKAPI on a hilltop in the Binza Ozone district (west of the old city) has a great dance floor but tends to be very expat heavy.

  For a taste of Kinshasa high society, be sure to take in LA DEVINIÈRE in Binza, opposite the presidential Palais de Marbles. Behind its outer walls you will find a delightful garden, fine French cuisine and leading figures in the government and the Lebanese business community.

  THE FIGHT

  THE FIGHT will take place at 4am local time in the STADE DU 20 MAI in the Quartier Matonge, about half a mile from Ndolo Airport. Despite the weird hour (to fit with US TV schedules), around 60,000 locals – and a rather poor showing of VIPs – will be attending. The ring sits in the centre of football pitch, a canopy of corrugated erected over it and the VIP area. An enormous poster of Mobutu in trademark leopard-skin hat sits behind one the goals. Most of the locals will be pitching up several hours before the fight between 10 and 11 pm. If you choose to join them, you will be treated to several displays of TRIBAL DANCING.

  Take a look at the people in the RINGSIDE SEATS. Alongside many members of Mobutu’s entourage, there will be a smattering of American celebrities. Ex-heavyweight champion JOE FRAZIER can be seen in a very groovy green and yellow Hawaiian shirt under a maroon sports jacket. Also present are American literary luminaries NORMAN MAILER, GEORGE PLIMPTON and HUNTER S. THOMPSON. Seats have been reserved for our clients at the back of the VIP zone on the side opposite Mobutu’s portrait.

  GEORGE FOREMAN

  The 1974 version of GEORGE FOREMAN is light years from the cuddly bald electric grill tycoon of the future. The twenty-five-year-old World Heavyweight Champion is a snarling fighter with a distinct aura of menace. He has got off to a bad start with the people of Zaire by pitching up with his pet German Shepherd, a breed indelibly associated with the police force of their Belgian former overlords. He will go into the fight with almost the entire nation rooting for his opponent. But he doesn’t seem particularly troubled by this.

  As economical with words as Ali is profligate with them, Foreman conserves his energy to maximise his menace. Raised in Houston, Texas, he was by his own admission a teenage hoodlum of the kind you would most definitely not want to meet on a dark night, before finding salvation of a kind in boxing. He stormed his way to Olympic Gold in 1968. Since then he has won all forty of his professional fights, thirty-seven of them by way of a knockout. Two of his recent victims have been JOE FRAZIER and KEN NORTON, both of whom have beaten Ali since his comeback (though Ali has subsequently levelled the scores). Foreman demolished both of them within two rounds, knocking Frazier to the canvas six times.

  Foreman is considered one of the hardest punchers in history, as a glance at the heavy bag he uses in training graphically confirms. After each session, it has an indentation several inches deep. If Ali allows Foreman to corner him, his body will become that bag. At as least as frightening as the power of the Champion’s blows is the relish with which he delivers them. Archie Moore, the wily ex-Light Heavyweight Champion who is co-training Foreman for the fight, is seriously worried he might kill Ali if the latter doesn’t do the sensible thing and let himself get knocked out quickly.

  FOREMAN IN TRAINING. HE PLANS TO DO SOMETHING SIMILAR TO ALI WITH ONE OF HIS ‘HAYMAKER’ PUNCHES.

  During the unforeseen delay, Foreman has holed up in the Inter-Continental Hotel in downtown Kinshasa. His daily work-out takes him and his crew on a six-mile run along the banks of the Congo river, just north of the hotel.

  MUHAMMAD ALI

  Where do you begin with MUHAMMAD ALI? Born Cassius Marcellus Clay in Kentucky in 1942, the ‘Louisville Lip’ was one of the most controversial figures of the 1960s and remains a profoundly divisive character going into this fight. He ‘shook up the world’, in his words, by winning the World Heavyweight boxing crown at the age of twenty-two with a stunning display against the terrifying Sonny Liston. He hasn’t stopped shaking it since.

  Shortly after capturing the crown, Ali became a Muslim, changed his name and joined Malcom X in the Nation of Islam, further alienating the wide section of white America that was already none too fond of this boastful nonconformist. After three years and nine dazzling title defences, the establishment got its opportunity for revenge when Ali refused to be inducted into the US Army to fight in Vietnam (‘No Vietcong ever called me nigger’). His boxing licence was revoked and he was not allowed near a ring for the three and a half years that would, under normal circumstances, have coincided with the peak of his boxing prowess. There are those who will never forgive Ali for refusing to fight for his country, but the wheel of history has turned and his anti-Vietnam stance is now much more in tune with the times.

  Ali fights like no other heavyweight boxer. He has the speed of a lightweight schooled in the Shaolin monastery, and can throw a bewildering six jabs per second. He defies convention by holding his hands low, aiming his punches almost exclusively at his opponents’ heads, and leaning out of the way of shots aimed at his own, rather than attempting to block them with his arms. As a child, he used to ask his brother to throw rocks at him to sharpen his reflexes, and it shows.

  Ali doesn’t act like other fighters, either. A promoter’s dream, he is an inspired self-publicist who composes poems ridiculing his opponents, predicts the round he will knock them out and does anything in his considerable power to upset their composure both before and during his fights. Humility is not his middle name – he has been describing himself as ‘THE GREATEST’ for a decade – and his breathtaking self-confidence tends to be self-fulfilling, as well as highly entertaining. But there are many who are itching to see him get his comeuppance.

  Ali’s performances since his comeback in 1970 have been a mixed bag. Though retaining unfeasible hand speed – he still STINGS LIKE A BEE – the lay-off and his advancing years seem to have compromised his ability to FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY, dancing round the ring and evading his opponents at will. Ali can still undeniably talk the talk, but can he walk the walk? We are about to find out. Ali has based himself in a villa in NSELE, near one of Mobutu’s palaces on the eastern side of the city. The gym where both fighters have been training is also located here.

  THE TALE OF THE TAPE

  The size difference between the two fighters is distorted by their auras and reputations. They are the same HEIGHT (6'3”) and, while Ali has a slightly longer REACH, at the weigh-in Foreman is the heavier in WEIGHT (though by a mere 3.5 lbs). You are prohibited from betting because you know the result, but the most widely quoted ODDS on an Ali victory are 3–1 against.

  MUHAMMAD ALI

  GEORGE FOREMAN

  AGE

  32

  25

  WINS

  44

  40

  KNOCKOUTS

  31

  37

  LOSSES

  2

  0

  HEIGHT

  6'3”

  6'3”

  WEIGHT

  216.5 lb (98.2kg)

  220 lb (
99.8kg)

  REACH

  80”

  78.5”

  ‘I AM THE PRETTIEST OF ALL TIME.’ ALI PREPARES FOR THE FIGHT.

  THE BUILD-UP

  ALI is the first to emerge from the dressing room, preceded by an American flag and wearing a white dressing gown with stripy African trim. The huge moustachioed man towards the front of his entourage is his younger brother RAHMAN. The other key figures are his trainer ANGELO DUNDEE, his doctor/cornerman FERDIE PACHECO and his best friend and cheerleader DREW ‘BUNDINI’ BROWN, who sports a natty silk jacket with Ali’s name emblazoned on the back. FOREMAN will keep Ali waiting so long – about seven minutes – that his eventual appearance in a crimson red gown is greeted with sporadic boos. Ali won’t appear unsettled by the delay. He takes the opportunity to conduct the crowd’s chanting of the phrase ‘Ali boma ye!’ (‘Ali, kill him!’). Foreman will be attended by his manager DICK SADLER and his trainer ARCHIE MOORE.

  A rather jerky, tuneless rendition of the STAR-SPANGLED BANNER with a touch of New Orleans jazz funeral about it begins the ceremonies. Then the crowd will sing along to ZAIREAN NATIONAL ANTHEM. A lengthy pause follows during which gloves are put on the fighters in the ring (their hands were strapped under supervision back in their dressing rooms). Finally referee ZACK CLAYTON will call the boxers to the centre of the ring. In the pre-fight huddle, Ali counters Foreman’s death-stare with constant chatter. You won’t be able to hear the words but his flashing white gumshield leaves no doubt that they are tumbling out.

  As the fighters go to their corners, Ali dances, breaking off briefly to pray to Allah. Foreman will perform some highly intimidating shoulder stretches, grasping the top rope on either side of his padded corner post and sending the whole structure quivering. The message is clear: ‘I own this ring.’

  ROUND 1

  Ali will come out on the offensive, dancing like he did in the mid-1960s. Significantly, he will land the first punch. Indeed, he will land most of the punches – stinging, cat-like jabs invariably aimed at his opponent’s head.

  It will quickly become apparent that Ali is adopting the first of two high-risk strategies he will employ during the fight. This is LEADING WITH HIS RIGHT HAND, despite his conventional, left-foot-forward stance. His punches thus have further to travel, giving Foreman fractionally more time to respond. Other things being equal, this would seem a suicidal tactic. But other things are not equal. Ali has the hand speed of a karate master and George is hard-wired to expect him to lead with his left.

  One minute in you will see Ali pull Foreman’s head downward and whisper in his ear. He will do this throughout the fight. But Foreman will advance relentlessly, attempting to corner Ali and cut him off from the relative safety of the open ring. Every time he manages this, he will unleash fearsome hooks to the body. You will be unable to help but fear for Ali’s safety. But even while Foreman is pummelling his torso, Ali will be landing sharp blows on the Texan’s head.

  ROUND 2

  The pace will drop somewhat after the frenetic opening round. Ali will now reach for the second counterintuitive tool in his locker: retreating to the ropes and inviting Foreman to hit his body at will. The unspoken deal is that he is not allowed to hit his head. Ali will enforce this with intense watchfulness, holding his gloves in front of his face in an almost airtight guard, and using the elasticity of the ropes to lean out of the way of any head punches that do get through. Ali’s tactic of LYING ON THE ROPES and encouraging Foreman to hit him goads the champion into huge, curving body punches, leaving a channel in the middle, which Ali will use to pick him off with head shots almost at will. Ten seconds before the end of the round, Ali will shake his head, pantomime style, to indicate that Foreman’s punches are not hurting him.

  Do look out for the vigorous disagreement conducted at ringside between JOE FRAZIER, who reckons Ali will get slaughtered if he retreats to the ropes, and the American football star JIM BROWN, who will argue that he is the one landing the best shots despite being on the ropes.

  ROUND 3

  One minute in, Ali will show incredible hand-speed, landing a sequence of COMBINATION PUNCHES. Then Foreman will launch a scary flurry of BODY SHOTS. Two minutes in, Foreman will lands his best punch yet on the left side of Ali’s jaw. But by the end of the round, Foreman will be feeling in front of himself with his fists with the tentativeness of a person stumbling in the dark. After the bell rings, watch Ali glare at Foreman as the two fighters separate. ‘I will not be cowed by you,’ his wide-eyed stare will say.

  ROUND 4

  The genius of Ali’s ‘ROPE-A-DOPE’ tactics will become ever more apparent. You will see him make no effort to avoid what has been the focus of Foreman’s training – cutting him off from the ring. Instead he will yield to his opponent’s intention. This will allow him to focus all his energy on throwing his own punches and absorbing Foreman’s, rather than evasion. This is pure judo. When a shot does get through, much of its energy is transmitted to the ropes. Ali is tearing up the rule book, making what should be his enemy into his best friend. Throughout the round, listen out for Ali taunting Foreman: ‘Is that all you got?’

  ROUND 5

  This will be an EPIC ROUND, the best of the fight. From 30 to 120 seconds in, Ali will stay in more or less the same position on the ropes while Foreman gives him everything he’s got. But, in Norman Mailer’s memorable metaphor, Ali will lurch out of the way and back in with counter punches ‘with all the calm of a man swinging in the rigging’. Foreman won’t be hurting him, just exhausting himself. Between the 5th and 6th rounds, attempts will be made to tighten the ropes, to prevent Ali from leaning back. You will notice his trainer, Angelo Dundee, screaming at the ring technicians to desist.

  ROUND 6

  A SLOWER ROUND, in which Ali will appear to be assessing Foreman’s remaining strength, like a chef testing a sauce. He will deliver a series of unanswered left jabs towards the end of the second minute.

  ROUND 7

  This will be the QUIETEST ROUND of the fight. There is something zombie-like about Foreman’s constant, unthinking forward motion. He looks like he is sleepwalking. Ali is just biding his time.

  ROUND 8

  Ali will start the round SCORING AT WILL. Then, after 25 seconds, Foreman will throw a huge, missing haymaker – the momentum of which almost carries him out of the ring. Halfway through the round, Ali will make his way to the opposite corner of the ring and stay there, dodging or absorbing Foreman’s now perfunctory punches. With fifteen seconds to go, Foreman will throw, miss and lean over the ropes. Ali’s eyes will suddenly light up. He will launch a devastating MULTI-PUNCH COMBINATION, culminating in a straight right to the face, which will send Foreman wheeling to the canvas like a broken helicopter. Absolute pandemonium breaks out in the ring. DAVID FROST, commentating at the ringside, will squeak: ‘This is the most joyous scene ever in the history of boxing.’

  ALI THROWS THE BIG ONE. CUE GLOBAL PANDEMONIUM.

  THE AFTERMATH – AND DEPARTURE

  After his victory, Ali will collapse briefly, but you probably won’t see this, as he will be surrounded by leaping and rejoicing members of his corner, as well as fans and hangers on. You may also notice DON KING floating towards Ali seemingly without moving his feet. Eventually several white-helmeted Zairean policemen will pile into the ring as well, not least to avoid missing out on the moment.

  Kinshasa will be partying and celebrating long into the night and the next day. Feel free to join in, but do bear in mind that your DEPARTURE is scheduled for midnight today back at La Gare Central.

  PART FOUR

  EPIC JOURNEYS & VOYAGES

  In Xanadu with Marco Polo

  JULY 1275–FEBRUARY 1276 CHINA

  MARCO POLO IS PROBABLY THE MOST famous traveller who ever lived. His name is a global brand, fronting everything from cruise ships to clothing. But to what exactly does he owe his fame? His journey was not that arduous or hair-raising, by true explorer standards, and nor was he even the fi
rst European to make the trip to the Far East. In fact, what earned him his place in posterity is the seventeen years he spent in Mongol-ruled China and at the court of Kublai Khan – the legendary Xanadu.

  This trip concentrates on Polo’s first six months in the great Khan’s orbit, during which time you will initially stay in Xanadu (Shangu), the wondrous city built by Kublai as his summer residence. Polo’s descriptions of this oasis of tranquillity echoed down the ages and was the inspiration for Coleridge’s celebrated opium-induced dreamscape. Today, nothing at all remains of Xanadu, but you will see the city at its shimmering best.

  From Xanadu, you will accompany Polo and Kublai’s court on its imperial progression south to the Khan’s new capital, Beijing (Dadu), which he has completely rebuilt, making good on the destruction wrought by his grandfather Genghis Khan. Having settled on a name for the city after consulting the I-Ching, he has redesigned it and constructed a stunning array of palaces and parks.

  Here, at the centre of the largest land empire in history – encompassing Russia, Persia, Central Asia and China – you will be immersed in the polyglot mass of humanity drawn to Beijing. You will witness the elaborate rituals of the court, revel in a wide variety of entertainments and participate in the two most extravagant ceremonies in the Imperial calendar: KUBLAI’S BIRTHDAY and MONGOLIAN NEW YEAR, a massive and magnificent banquet of great symbolic and cultural significance.

  BRIEFING: KHAN AND THE POLOS

  Having outmanoeuvred his rivals, Kublai was proclaimed the Great Khan of the Mongol Empire in 1260. Though his realm technically included the western swathes of Mongol territory, his focus would be on China and its immediate neighbours. He added Tibet, Korea and Yunnan to his portfolio, then turned his attention to the unfinished business of conquering the whole of China; Genghis had brought the northern half, ruled by the Jin dynasty, under his control, but the heavily populated and prosperous southern regions, home of the Song dynasty, remained independent. A long campaign, involving hundreds of ships, thousands of men and some of the most sophisticated siege weaponry ever built, eventually ended the Song’s resistance.