Beautiful With You

by Jen Andrews

  They both agreed as we pulled into the parking area at the airport. The car hadn’t even come to a complete stop before Justin jumped out and opened my door for me.

  “My queen,” he said in a heavy British accent as he bowed and held his hand out to help me from the car.

  “Thank you, kind sir,” I responded in a very bad imitation of his perfect British accent.

  Once I was all checked in, I had to say goodbye to them.

  “Thank you guys for everything, I don’t know how I could have done any of this without you. I can never repay you,” I said as I hugged them.

  “Good luck, Z. I love you,” Justin said with big tears in his eyes.

  After hugging them tight one last time, I told them how much I loved them, and walked away.

  “Come on baby girl,” I said as I rested my palm against my belly. “Let’s go get your daddy and bring him home.”

  Once I arrived in the waiting area to board the plane, it hit me that I was on my own until I reached New Zealand, and I had never been more scared in my life.

  My friends and family were so supportive of me, but it was time for me to go to Andy, and support him. He was devastated by his loss, but I had all the answers he needed. I hoped it would be enough, and he would come home with me. I was willing to give up everything to be with him and our daughter. I would give up my store, my apartment, and my life in Sacramento if I had to. Before Andy, I never would’ve considered it, but he and our little girl meant more to me than any possession.

  Wanting to be alone with my thoughts, I found a seat away from everyone. I pulled my iPod out of my purse, set it to shuffle and people watched while I waited for the call to board the plane.

  I was too nervous to do anything else.

  As I waited for the plane to take me to him, the perfect song came on, and it helped calm my nerves. “Set Fire to the Third Bar” had the exact lyrics I needed to get me in the right mindset for my trip. The lyrics talked about looking at a map and being only inches away from the one you loved, but being so far away physically. I was just inches away from him on a map, but over six thousand miles separated us.

  I played it a few times in a row, and by the time I moved on to the next song, I was feeling more confident with my decisions. People began stirring around me, so I took my earbuds out and put my iPod away.

  It was time to board the plane.

  Once I settled in my seat and had my purse safely stowed under the seat in front of me, I sent Iria a text letting her know I was on the plane. The plane was crowded, but the seat in the middle of my row wasn’t filled. There was an older man in the aisle seat, and I was by the window, so both of us had plenty of room to stretch out.

  One good thing about being pregnant, I was tired a lot of the time and no longer had issues sleeping. Throughout the entire flight, I spent my time reading or napping. And of course, walking around to stretch my legs on my several trips to the bathroom. I felt a little bad for the poor guy next to me because he had to get up each time I did.

  After finishing my book, I dozed off again, and before I knew it, we were preparing to land in Auckland. My heart was thumping so hard by the time we arrived at our gate, I thought it was going to thump right out of my chest.

  It was still dark outside, but the sun was lighting up the horizon in the distance. I held my purse tightly, said goodbye to my neighbor, and exited the plane.

  Getting through customs was a nightmare. It took forever. I chuckled to myself and wished my minions had come to help me with my bags as I moved at a snail’s pace while weaving my way through the roped off lines. I’d need to punish them later because they failed in their duties as my minions. Just as I finished up with the customs representative, my phone pinged with a text from Iria saying she was waiting for me.

  Eventually, I found her holding a big sign that said,

  While Iria and I had been becoming friends, I learned many great things from her about New Zealand, including slang words and general phrases. I laughed when I thought how if anyone here were to call me Z, like everyone did at home, they would probably say “Zed” instead since that was how New Zealanders pronounced the letter Z.

  I waved at Iria excitedly. She was a stunning Maori woman with long dark hair and beautiful dark eyes and skin. She took one look at me and her mouth dropped open as her eyes fell to my small bump.

  “Zoey, I think you forgot to tell me something,” she said as she stared at my belly.

  I stopped in front of her. “I know . . . and I am so sorry for not telling you, but this is the reason I’m here. You were already keeping so many secrets for me about this trip I couldn’t burden you with this one too.”

  She nodded in understanding, and then proceeded to hug me. “Kia ora, Zoey. I’m glad you’re finally here.”

  “Thank you, I’m glad I’m finally here,” I said with a nervous laugh. “I am ready for everything to be out in the open.”

  We loaded my bags into her car and Iria told me that by the time we arrived at the house, Andy and Tamati would be gone for the day. They were going to play rugby and then go fishing. They would get home later in the evening, so I would have the whole day to settle in and prepare for what was to come.

  Iria drove for an hour after leaving the airport. I didn’t realize how big the city of Auckland actually was. She was driving through a nice neighborhood when she glanced over at me.

  “Zoey, do you want to see him right now?”

  I shook my head, but my mouth instinctively said, “Yes.”

  We laughed and several minutes later, a large park appeared. She wedged her little car in between two SUV’s.

  “Don’t worry, he won’t see us from here,” she promised.

  We stepped out of the car and shielded ourselves from the view of the men on the rugby field.

  “I feel like a stalker,” I joked.

  Iria laughed and nodded in agreement.

  I would just have to feel like a stalker for a while because I needed to see that he was here, in the flesh. My heart clenched in my chest at the sight of him because I had missed him so much.

  Iria explained the game to me as we watched.

  “He’s really good, isn’t he?” I asked her, unable to peel my eyes away from my man on the field.

  “Yeah, he is. Tamati said he could’ve gone pro eventually, but he moved to the States.”

  I had no idea. I knew they were driving home from his rugby game when the car accident happened. Not only had his family been taken from him, but his chance of playing pro rugby had as well.

  My heart ached for him even more.

  The ball was tossed to Andy, and he ran down the field, dodging guys on the opposite team.

  Unexpectedly, he slowed just enough and turned his head to look in our direction. Not a split second later, he was hit by two guys and knocked hard to the ground.

  Those two guys were followed by about four more, and they all ended up in a big pile right on top of Andy.

  I started to panic, thinking he might be hurt, but Iria said, “Don’t worry. That’s normal for this game.”

  As soon as the words left her mouth, the ball reappeared from beneath the mountain of men, and the game continued as if nothing had happened.

  I backed up between the cars again while Andy picked himself up, and took off running. He stopped suddenly, glanced back in our direction then followed his teammates down the field again.

  “That was close,” I said as we hopped back in the car and sped off down the road. “Rugby is a crazy game. I can’t believe they just tackle each other like that, with no helmets or anything on.”

  She shrugged her shoulders and laughed. “Kiwi men are the toughest,” she said with a proud smile.

  “I’ll second that. Makes me think our American football players are a bunch of wimps in all their protective gear.”

  She nodded in agreement. “Ask A.J. what it feels like to take a boot straight to the face. He has the scar to prove it.”

 
; “A boot to the face?”

  “Yeah, the scar on his nose is from the bottom of a rugby boot. Tamati said he got it back in school. He was kicked in the face, went off the field to get it fixed up, spent some time in the sin bin for punching the guy that kicked him, then went right back to playing.”

  Ouch . . . I had assumed that scar came from the accident like the others, not from playing rugby.

  On the drive, I noticed how green everything was, almost tropical, but not really . . . tropical. It was different from any other place I’d been, but very similar to the Northern California coast with its mix of ferns, trees, and flowering plants. We were getting in to an area where the houses became bigger and more upscale as we drove. I noticed several signs with names I wasn’t sure how to pronounce, like Takapuna and Minehaha. Everything around me was becoming a blur.

  Iria pulled the car in through a gated driveway and parked in front of two large garage doors. The house was huge, the top floor mostly windows and large glass doors. There was a covered patio area on the second floor with a mid-sized table and chairs set up for dining outside.

  This is Andy’s place? Holy crap.

  Apparently, we entered the property from the rear, because when we reached the living room, I noticed the entire front of the house was glass and it overlooked the ocean.

  “Wow,” I said as I approached the windows. I was completely awestruck.

  The house didn’t merely overlook the ocean. It was on the freaking beach!

  “This place is amazing,” I said to Iria.

  There was a light, cream-colored sectional couch with a chaise lounge on one end and two matching chairs set up around a large coffee table. In the center of the table was a large basket of seashells and starfish. Looking around, I saw the entire house had a beach theme to it.

  Andy previously told me he lived a charmed life growing up, but I didn’t know how charmed.

  “So this was his parents’ house?”

  Iria came up to admire the breathtaking view with me. “Yeah, this is where he grew up. We moved in a few years ago, but he’s been renting it out ever since he moved to the States. We’ve updated some of the furniture, but for the most part, it’s exactly the way it was when he lived here. Would you like a tour?”

  Heck yes. “I’d love one, actually.”

  She showed me the state of the art kitchen and all the rooms downstairs first then took me upstairs to the bedrooms. We entered a mid-sized bedroom plastered with rugby paraphernalia.

  “This room belonged to A.J. when he was young. The family who rented it before us had a little boy who loved the room so much they didn’t take anything off the walls.”

  The entire room was dedicated to the All Blacks, New Zealand’s very famous, professional rugby team.

  “He sure loves his rugby doesn’t he?” I laughed.

  Iria laughed with me. “There is not a person in this country who isn’t obsessed with the Blacks, Zoey.”

  She finished our tour in Andy’s current bedroom, which had a large bed and a spacious bathroom with a spa tub and tile shower. I would definitely be using that tub later.

  My stomach picked that moment to growl loudly. So loud, we both burst out laughing.

  “Zoey, let me make you something to eat while you get settled in. I’m sure you’re tired too. Please, make yourself at home.”

  She was right about that. I was tired, and hungry. A brief thought passed through my mind about how I was always hungry now, and never forgot to eat. I would have to tease Andy a little bit because I was definitely carrying his child. That man could flat-out eat.

  Once I’d unpacked a few things I would need for the day, I met Iria back in the kitchen where she had prepared a mouthwatering salad with lamb for us. I hadn’t had real food since my brunch the day before with my family. We talked while we ate, and when we were finished, I helped with the dishes, and then excused myself to go take a bath and change. While I was waiting for the water to fill the tub, I called my parents and let them know I’d arrived safely.

  I soaked in the bathtub until my fingers were wrinkly, then dressed in a pair of my new jeans and a cute wrap-around turquoise top that hugged my growing belly in all the right places. I wasn’t tired anymore, so I dried my hair and put on a bit of makeup before I went to find Iria. I plopped down on the couch next to her.

  For several days, I’d been thinking of ways to tell Andy about our baby that would hopefully take away the heaviness of our conversation about Emma. My priority was to give him all the information I had regarding her first. Understandably, he would be devastated, but I didn’t want the news of our little one to be minimized.

  Just blurting out that I was pregnant didn’t feel right, so I wanted to do something unique to tell him. Since his wish was to have a child by his thirtieth birthday, I considered buying him an early gift. After thinking about how his childhood bedroom was still decorated, I stood and stretched because I’d finally figured out what to buy him.

  “Iria, is there anywhere I can get an All Blacks baby outfit?”

  She nodded with a knowing smile. “Champions of the World. They’ll have everything you need there.”

  While we shopped, I picked out a tiny onesie, some PJ’s with the All Blacks logo on them, and some matching baby booties. I couldn’t resist the adorable stuffed teddy bear that wore its own All Blacks clothing and a team hoody for myself.

  Suddenly, I was extremely nervous and feeling a little giddy being in New Zealand. “I don’t suppose this comes in pink?” I whispered to Iria as I held up the onesie to show her.

  She shook her head and laughed heartily. “No, looks like your little girl will be wearing all black.”

  Nice pun.

  “You know what’s funny? I haven’t bought anything for our baby yet. I wanted Andy to be there for every little thing, and the first thing I buy her is a rugby outfit.”

  She looked over at me with what appeared to be compassion in her eyes. “It sounds like you haven’t had much time to do anything for yourself in the last month Zoey, with as busy as you’ve been.”

  That was a fact.

  “It’s getting late,” she said as she glanced down at her watch. “We should get going.”

  Back at the house, we had a quiet dinner out on the deck overlooking the ocean before I decided to call it a night. The anticipation of seeing Andy weighed heavily on me, and getting some sleep before he came home would hopefully give me the strength to do what I needed to do. I had no idea how he would react when he found out I was there, but I knew it would be a long night.

  After I changed into a loose nightgown, I gathered up the items I needed for when Andy arrived and slipped into his bed, breathing in the scent from his pillow. I had missed him so much. I laid on the bed, going over in my head for the hundredth time, how I was going to tell him all I had to say.

  Of course, I wanted to tell him about our baby first, but I knew that in order to keep him from completely losing it, I had to put Emma first. He needed to know the cause of her death had nothing to do with him.

  Then it would be time to tell him about our baby girl.

  “This was a good idea, mate. I needed this today,” I said to Tamati as we hoisted a large chilly bin full of ice and the fish we’d caught into the back of his Ute. We’d played a rugby game that morning and spent the rest of the day fishing.

  “I’ve always got good ideas, bro.” He chuckled and closed the tailgate. Once the chilly bin had been strapped down, we headed back to the house. “Iria is going to love all this fresh fish, and I can’t wait for the first batch of fish and chips she cooks,” he said with a proud grin.

  He was right—she did make the best fish and chips. And meat pies, roast lamb, and venison stew. My stomach growled at the thought of all the traditional New Zealand food I had missed while living in the States.

  It had been over a month since I’d arrived in Auckland. I was depressed, to say the least. The only good thing about being in Auckland was that
I’d seen several doctors who’d performed every test imaginable to find out if there was anything physically wrong with me. I’d had blood tests, piss tests, scans, semen tests, and the obvious DNA testing since that was where my main concern was.

  I spared no expense for the cost of the tests, and the doctors found nothing. Not a damn thing. Just a healthy twenty-nine year old man who was now trying to figure out a way to beg the love of his life in California for forgiveness. I’d only had the last of the test results given to me two days prior, and Tamati had taken me out to celebrate. I had plans to book a flight back to Sacramento the next day.

  Zoey and I had been in contact a few times after she’d sent me the photo book for my birthday. She definitely made her point by making it and sending it to me. It was the reason I decided to see all the doctors and specialists. She was my life and I didn’t want to live without her.

  “Look, mate,” Tamati said once we’d entered the kitchen through the garage, snapping my thoughts away from Zoey. “I’ve got something to tell you.”

  Just then, Iria came around the corner from the living room and she wore a concerned look on her face. Dread washed over me like a tidal wave and my immediate thought was that something had happened to Zoey.

  “Sit down, A.J., please,” Iria said as she took a seat at the table.

  Tamati pulled two chairs out. When I didn’t sit, he pulled me down onto the seat next to his. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end and I felt my body begin to shake. “What’s happened?” I asked, scared of her answer.

  “It’s Zoey.” A hint of a smile touched the corners of Iria’s mouth. “She’s here.”

  She’s here in En Zed? I drew in a deep breath, and caught the scent of her vanilla-lavender soap. “Where is she?” I asked anxiously and pushed my chair back to stand and look around for her. Fuck, I almost felt faint. I didn’t know if it was from shock or from not eating since lunchtime. Nobody answered me so I glanced back to Iria. “Where is she?” I repeated.

  She squeezed my hand and smiled. Her eyes filled with tears. “She’s asleep in your room.”