Back Piece

by L. A. Witt

“You should see it out here on a Friday or Saturday night.” Daniel gestured over his shoulder at the semi-crowded pier. “Or during a port call when we’re on deployment.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “So many drunks. I literally can’t remember a single port call where someone wasn’t brought here by his shipmates or the local police, either too drunk to stand or already passed out.”

  “So what you’re saying is, the drunken sailor stereotype is . . .”

  “Very real.” Daniel laughed. “And I have to admit, I’ve been that guy.”

  “You?” Colin’s jaw fell open. “No way.”

  “Yeah, I have! First port call after we’d been at sea for a few weeks?” He grimaced. “I don’t ever want to be that hungover again. Ever.”

  “Oh God.” Colin snickered. “You had a learnin’ experience, didn’t you?”

  “I so did.”

  “Don’t worry. Happens to the best of us.”

  “Good. Glad I’m not the only one.”

  They reached Colin’s car and stopped.

  “Well.” Colin spun his keys around his finger. “I’d better go. It was good to see you, though. And thanks for the tour of the ship.”

  “Don’t mention it. This beat the hell out of just staring at my iPad all night.”

  Colin unlocked his car, and Daniel’s heart sped up. “Listen, um, before you go . . .” He cleared his throat. “There’s . . .”

  “Hmm?” Colin stood close, but didn’t touch him. They couldn’t. Not out here. The nearness was the closest they could get to a reassuring hand on a shoulder, and Daniel wasn’t sure if it had that reassuring effect or if it made him even more nervous.

  “There’s something I wanted to ask.”

  Colin held his gaze. “Sure. Shoot.”

  “Well, um.” He shifted his weight. “My parents will be here soon. For a visit.”

  “Oh.” Colin’s shoulders sank a little. “So, I probably won’t be seeing much of you for a while.”

  “No, no. It’s not that.” Daniel swallowed. “Actually, I want you to meet them.”

  Colin’s eyebrows jumped. “You do?”

  “Yeah, but . . . as a friend. I’m not ready for them to know I have a boyfriend.”

  Colin straightened. “Wait, what?”

  Daniel dropped his gaze. “I, uh . . . I want them to meet you. And we’ll see how that goes. Then, maybe I can work up the courage to tell them we’re . . .”

  “That you’re gay and we’re together.”

  Daniel nodded, his blood turning cold at the mere thought of explaining that to his folks. “I’m not sure the conversation will get that far while they’re in town.”

  “But this would be a start.”

  “Maybe. I don’t know.”

  Colin chewed his lip for a moment. “Yeah, I can do that.”

  Daniel exhaled. “Thanks. It’ll just be one day. Or maybe like an afternoon. I wouldn’t subject you to a whole weekend or anything.”

  Colin laughed halfheartedly. “I can’t be away from the shop that long anyway. Not on short notice.”

  “So it works. I’ll let you know when the dates are set in stone. We can figure something out.”

  “Okay.” Colin glanced at his phone. “You should get back to work. I don’t want to keep you.”

  “I know.” Daniel hesitated, but then pulled Colin close and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. He was in uniform, so technically he wasn’t supposed to do anything physical with someone, but it wasn’t like they were making out. His heterosexual coworkers got away with a kiss good night, so . . . why not?

  When they separated, their eyes met in the harsh white light from the streetlamps.

  “I should get back to the boat,” he said. “I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess? After my shift?”

  Colin smiled, though not with much feeling. “I’ll see you then.”

  After one more quick kiss, they went their separate ways. Daniel made it halfway across the parking lot before he stopped and looked back just in time to see Colin’s taillights heading for the road. He watched until the car had disappeared, and then continued toward the ship.

  Back in his shop, before he went belowdecks to muster for watch, he sat back and thought about everything. Tonight. Colin. His parents. Their visit.

  Nerves coiled in the pit of his stomach. So they’d give this a shot. He’d introduce his boyfriend to his parents, pretending he was a friend, and see how that went. Hopefully his parents would buy it.

  And then, down the line, if things went well, maybe he could tell them who Colin really was. Who Colin really was to him.

  Who he really was.

  Chapter 23

  From the moment Colin left the base, he was on edge. All the way back to Virginia Beach, his mind kept wandering back to that conversation with Daniel. Tonight had been fun and fascinating, not to mention incredibly hot for a few brief minutes, but now he couldn’t help feeling like Daniel had dropped a bomb on him.

  Except he hadn’t. He’d asked a small favor, and did it really seem like too much to ask? That was the part Colin couldn’t quite settle on.

  I’m probably overreacting. I’m reading too much into it. It’s all in my head, which is where things like this usually are.

  But still, he felt weird about it.

  Amanda, his therapist, and his brother had talked him off the ledge when he’d gone into near-crisis mode after telling Daniel about his past. He’d been damn good at keeping that out of sight, so Daniel couldn’t possibly have known how much he’d been struggling lately, or that he was a trigger away from relapsing hard.

  Colin gripped the wheel tighter and slowly pushed out a breath. No, he was not going to relapse this time. His support system was there, and they’d rallied around him like they always did, and nobody was letting him fall. He was stressed and edgy, but . . . hell, he’d managed to eat tonight. Not a lot—thank God sandwich shops didn’t blink when you asked them to pile on the low-calorie vegetables and hold the sauces, meats, and cheese—but he’d eaten.

  I’ve got this. I’m good.

  Except, how good will I be now? After Daniel asked me to meet his parents?

  He cursed into the silence of his car. He’d been doing so well, all things considered, and without even realizing it, Daniel had thrown him a curveball. Put something on the table that had the potential to . . .

  To what, Colin?

  He couldn’t even put his finger on why he was so freaked out. All he knew was that conversation had left him wondering if he could inconspicuously pull over and hurl up everything he’d eaten on the ship.

  Sighing, he drove faster, keeping his eyes on the road and not the shoulder that was so, so inviting. It didn’t make sense. Purging wouldn’t help anything and it sure as shit wouldn’t resolve this new issue with Daniel. But that was where his mind went. Every time. Always. Something hit a nerve? Stressed him out? Made him uncomfortable? That became the solution and it didn’t matter why.

  He made it home, though, and when he pulled into the drive, his brother’s car was out front and the living room lights were on. As Colin stepped inside, Shane paused the show he was watching. “Hey. Enjoy visiting the ship?”

  “Yeah, it was interesting.” Daniel laughed halfheartedly. “Don’t know how people live in a tin can like that.”

  “Eh.” His brother shrugged as he got up off the couch. “You get used to it.”

  “Better you than me.” In the kitchen, he tossed his keys into the bowl on the counter. “What’re you doing home? I thought you were working tonight.”

  Pressing his shoulder against the door frame, Shane shook his head. “Nope. It’s Thursday.”

  Colin glanced at the calendar. “Huh. I’ll be damned.” He fished a bottle of water out of fridge and uncapped it. As he took a drink, he had to force it down because of that knot in his gut. And remind himself to keep it down. It wouldn’t solve anything if he didn’t.

  He sighed as he put the bottle down again.
This was going to keep him awake, wasn’t it?

  “Colin?” Shane eyed him. “You okay?”

  “Yeah. Yeah.” Colin waved a hand. “Just . . . uh . . .”

  “Colin. What’s wrong?” There was a vaguely confrontational undercurrent to his brother’s question. Not surprising—Shane had dragged Colin up from rock bottom enough times, he was getting good at recognizing the signs of a breakdown well before they happened. At the first inkling of trouble—any kind of trouble that could send Colin spiraling downward again—he was in his face and ready to stop it.

  So there was really no point in trying to pretend everything was peachy. Colin stared at the water bottle in his hands, and idly played with the loose cap. “I just keep thinking about something Daniel brought up tonight.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” Colin leaned against the counter and tapped his nails on its edge. “He wants me to meet his parents.”

  “Oh.” Shane inclined his head. “And that’s bad? I mean, he’s not going to introduce you as his porn star boyfriend, is he?”

  “No. That’s . . . that’s actually the problem.”

  Shane’s eyebrows shot up. “You want him to introduce you like that?”

  “Well . . .” Daniel thumbed the label on his water bottle. “The thing is, his parents are hard-core homophobes. Like, ‘protesting Pride events’ homophobes. They don’t even know he’s gay.”

  Shane’s eyebrows climbed his forehead. “And . . . he wants to introduce his boyfriend to them.”

  Colin nodded. “As a friend, I guess.”

  His brother held his gaze. “That sounds uncomfortable.”

  “I think he’s just trying to work up the courage to come out to them.” Colin sighed, raking a hand through his hair. “I really don’t know how to feel about it. I know he’s not hiding me because he’s embarrassed of me, but he is hiding me. In plain sight, apparently. And I don’t think I like being hidden. You know what I mean?”

  Shane nodded.

  Colin pressed his hip against the sink and blew out a breath. “Maybe I’m overreacting. I . . .”

  “You’re allowed to have feelings about this stuff.”

  “Yeah. I know. But I don’t . . . I don’t even know what I feel about it.” He stared at the floor between them. “On one hand, I’m not comfortable even being around these people. If they’re the kind of people who protest Pride events and make their son feel unwelcome in his own home, then they just sound . . .”

  “Toxic?”

  “Exactly. On the other, Daniel obviously needs support. If Mom and Dad were like that, I might need some backup to be around them, too.”

  “If Mom and Dad were like that,” Shane said flatly, “you’d have told them to go fuck themselves a long time ago.”

  “Yeah, but I can sympathize with Daniel for not telling them off.” With a shudder, Colin met his brother’s eyes. “I mean, who wants to cut off their parents? Where would I be now without Mom and Dad’s support?”

  Shane shifted uneasily. He couldn’t have forgotten how much their parents had been there during the darkest of Colin’s dark days. “That’s different, though. Mom and Dad never gave you grief or judged you. They just helped you.”

  “I know,” Colin whispered. “And where would I be without that? Or without you?”

  “I don’t even want to think about that.” Shane’s tone was hard-edged, the way it always was when he was done discussing something. “The point is, you never would have let our parents stuff you in the closet. I mean, the one time they ever told you they didn’t approve of your boyfriend, you damn near moved out the same day.”

  Colin laughed dryly. “To be fair, they were right about him.”

  “Not arguing about that.” Shane slid his hands into his pockets as he leaned against the opposite counter. “So I guess it just worries me that you’re with someone who’s a doormat for his parents about—”

  “He’s not a doormat. Not everyone can come out as easily as I did. For him, coming out means losing his family. So if he has a crisis or falls on hard times, he won’t have that.” Colin gulped. “I don’t care how old you are, living without knowing your parents have your back is fucking terrifying.”

  “Yeah, it is.” Shane shifted, possibly masking a shudder. “And he’s got my sympathy, don’t get me wrong.”

  “So I can see why maybe he’s testing the waters. Seeing if there’s some chance he could both come out and keep his family.”

  “Except from what you’ve said, that’s not likely.”

  “No, it isn’t.”

  “And is his reason for doing this really going to change the fallout for you if shit does blow up with them?”

  Colin cocked his head. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, think about how stressed you were before you came out. That’s what he is right now. Except probably amped up a lot because his parents are homophobic jagoffs and he’s had more years to worry about it than you did.” Shane chewed the inside of his cheek. “Imagine being that scared of them finding out, especially if you knew Mom and Dad would’ve thrown you out and disowned you. If they’d been homophobic like that, and they’d caught on for even a second that you were gay—whether by accident or because you’d let them find some evidence so you could feel them out—tell me you wouldn’t have burned every single scrap of anything that might’ve outed you, separated yourself from anyone who might’ve known, and done everything you could to make sure there was no evidence that you were gay.”

  Colin gulped. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

  “And right now,” Shane said, “I’m worried that you’re one of those scraps Daniel might have to burn if his parents catch a whiff of gay on him. Especially if you’re the scrap he uses to see how they react.”

  Colin’s heart sank deeper in his chest. That was it, wasn’t it? If having him in the same room as Daniel’s parents wound up being too uncomfortable—dangerously close to them realizing there was more than friendship happening here—then what? If they scared Daniel back to Narnia, where did that leave Colin?

  “Fuck,” he whispered.

  “If I were you,” Shane said, “I wouldn’t agree to it. In fact, I’m not sure I’d stick with a guy who asked me to do that in the first place.”

  Colin blinked. “Whoa, wait. You think I should dump him over this?”

  Shane studied him, then nodded slowly.

  “Doesn’t that seem a bit extreme?” Colin gave an uncomfortably tight shrug. “All he did was ask me to meet his parents. I can say no.”

  “Yeah, and . . .” Shane sighed, deflating against the counter. “Okay, maybe I’m just worried because I’ve seen you go through so much hell already, but this sounds like something that could be a major, major setback for you.” He paused. “I know you like the guy, but I think you need to put yourself first. If a guy is willing to ask you to do something like this, if he’s willing to use you like fucking shark chum, then I’m not so sure about him. What happens if you go through with it, and afterward, he gets scared and goes even deeper into the closet without you?”

  Colin’s gut clenched.

  “Look.” Shane’s voice was gentler now. As gentle as it ever was. “You need to think about this objectively. What is he really asking you to do? What’s going to happen if it doesn’t work out the way he expects it to?” He paused again, and when he went on, his voice was even softer. “And if shit goes down, can you really handle the fallout?”

  Colin swallowed. He wasn’t so sure he could cope with hiding in plain sight for Daniel’s parents, but he couldn’t even consider Shane’s solution. Even if he bailed on this plan—and God, he hoped Daniel understood—he didn’t want to call things off entirely. Aside from this, things had been going so well. This wasn’t a deal-breaker.

  Was it?

  * * *

  Throughout the next day, Colin couldn’t shake the conversations he’d had with both Daniel and Shane.

  He still wasn’t sure what to m
ake of Shane’s comments. Dump Daniel just because he’d made a request that probably sounded like a normal, reasonable request to a normal, reasonable person? Jesus. Their whole relationship had been built on Daniel being able to ask for things, knowing Colin could say no, and that even if he did say no, everything would be fine. Why was this any different just because it didn’t involve sex?

  They needed to talk about this. Calmly and rationally. Daniel would be off work soon, and Colin wasn’t going to stick around much longer himself. After all, it was a particularly slow day at the shop. He’d spent the first part of the day working on an installment of a huge multi-session dragon wrapped around a woman’s leg, and he had no more appointments after that. Pete had a few back-to-back appointments, but there weren’t nearly enough walk-ins to keep Colin or Matt entertained.

  It was also a particularly gorgeous day. Not so sweaty and hot like this area could sometimes be. Though Virginia Beach and Norfolk were situated on the water, they were inside the mouth of the Chesapeake Bay. Strategically, it was fantastic. In terms of climate, it could suck royally because when it was hot, the heat just sat there.

  Today, there was a nice breeze and the temperature was comfortable. So, as he texted back and forth with Daniel to figure out their plans for the afternoon, he suggested a change of scenery. Something besides meeting up at his shop or worse, in a restaurant.

  You want to go walk Mt. Trashmore?

  Sure, why not? I’ve never actually been there.

  Meet you there in 20.

  Twenty minutes later, Colin met him at the park, which was just off the freeway. Mount Trashmore was one of Virginia Beach’s strange little landmarks. At one time, it had been a landfill. Then dirt had been poured over the top of it until it created a large hill, which was then covered in grass and turned into a park. Colin had heard rumors of pieces of trash—usually of the sharp, nonbiodegradable variety—working their way up through the dirt and piercing the surface. He didn’t know how true it was, but to be on the safe side, he never wandered barefoot onto the grass.

  Plenty of other people were there and didn’t seem quite so cautious. Kids log-rolled down the steep slope, and people did everything from working out to napping to playing with their dogs. Some kids were flying kites up on top, and a few families were having picnics. Okay, so maybe he was worrying about nothing, because somebody would’ve cut themselves and sued by now if sharp trash was really a problem.