Fuzzy Logic

by Susan C. Daffron

  Kat grinned. “Great magicians never do.”

  Jan opened the door to her cottage and Rosa rushed past her into the living room, flopping down on her dog bed with a furry flourish. Jan bent down to stroke the sleek fur on Rosa’s head. Somebody was sure glad to be home. Although it was good to be back in her cozy space, Jan was anxious about whatever may or may not be going on with Steve. Maybe it was nothing. But Joel was right; she should call and ask Steve a few questions. He’d probably have a reasonable explanation and everything would be fine. It had to be.

  Steve lived in the city because of his job, but he often drove up to Alpine Grove and spent the weekend with Jan. They’d settled into a routine where he’d arrive on Saturday, they’d go out to dinner or she’d make him dinner. They’d take Rosa for a walk around the neighborhood and go to bed. Then he’d leave early Sunday morning. Because he traveled a lot on business, she usually didn’t see him more than one weekend every month.

  Last weekend she’d been in San Diego for the wedding, so obviously she hadn’t seen him then. But why had he been in Alpine Grove? She had tried to be reasonable and understanding when he’d backed out of attending the wedding at the last minute. Unfortunately, Jill was right about that. It certainly wasn’t the first time he had canceled plans with her. And it had been uncomfortable explaining why he wasn’t there to her mother.

  Jan was tired of her own spinning thoughts. She could go around and around making up stories, or she could just call Steve and find out why he had been here in town. Or she could make dinner, since he probably wasn’t home yet anyway. Smiling, she turned to Rosa. “What do you think about dinner?” Rosa jumped up at the mention of the magical word “dinner.” As her waistline indicated, feeding time was Rosa’s favorite time of day.

  After Jan fed Rosa and herself and then ever-so-slowly cleaned up the kitchen, she could no longer think of any decent excuse to put off calling Steve.

  “Hi Steve.”

  “Hey babe, how are you? I guess you made it back okay?”

  “Yes. Then I picked up Rosa.”

  “How’s my fuzzy little girl? I miss that sweet dog. Tell her I’ll bring her an extra-special treat when I see her.”

  “Rosa is fine, although I think she’s glad to be home.”

  “Yeah, I wasn’t sure about that place you took her.”

  “They were really nice and Rosa seemed to like the owner. I think it was fine. Actually, I called because I want to ask you something.”

  Steve sighed and Jan could imagine the long-suffering pained expression on his face. “What now? Do you have something scheduled that I have to do? Sometimes your super-organized Type A thing is annoying.”

  “No. I have nothing scheduled for you or with you. And, by the way, my mother asked why you weren’t at her wedding. I made excuses and apologized for you. But that’s not why I want to talk to you. I heard from Jill that you were here in Alpine Grove this weekend. And then someone else said they saw you, too. At the store. With a woman. Who definitely wasn’t me.”

  “Oh, you know I entertain clients all the time.”

  Jan looped the phone cord around her index finger. “The last I heard you didn’t have any clients in this ‘backwoods town,’ as you like to call it. And most people buying drywall aren’t dressed in heels and a slinky red dress, either.”

  “Oh come on, babe. What? You think I was cheating on you with someone there? That would be stupid.”

  “So are you saying you’re cheating on me when you’re at home as well?”

  “No. Jeez, that’s not what I meant. Don’t put words in my mouth, Jan. I just had to meet the daughter of a client. She was visiting Alpine Grove, and I told the guy that I spend a lot of time up there, so I could show her around. You weren’t there, so it wasn’t my fault I had some free time.”

  Tears were running down her cheeks and Jan choked back a sob. This had to be the worst pack of lies she’d ever heard. Sure, Steve was a rotten liar, but this was pathetic. How stupid did he think she was? “Entertaining this woman here in Alpine Grove was your business trip? The reason you missed my mothers wedding? I’m guessing your client, if there is one, didn’t ask you to show the woman the inside of the H12 or how to buy wine at the grocery store.”

  “Aw come on, Jan; you know me. I wouldn’t do anything like that. We’ve been together for a long time and little Rosie is my favorite dog in the whole world. I’d never do anything to hurt either of you.”

  Jan wiped her eyes and said stiffly. “Do I know that you wouldn’t do that? Do I really? I’m not so sure anymore. Maybe you’ve just been lying to me all this time. At this point, one thing I do think is that you like Rosa better than you like me. Maybe that’s appropriate. I know for certain that I like her better than I like you right now.”

  “Hey, that’s not true. You know how I feel about you. I’ll tell you what. I’ll make a special trip up to see you this weekend. We can go to the fancy restaurant. You don’t have to cook. I’ll take you out to dinner. You know we always have a good time. We’ll talk about everything. I’ll stay over and it will all be fine.”

  Even though the idea of a potentially conflict-laden scene made her anxious, she did want to see him again. It seemed only fair. In small towns, people gossiped. Maybe it wasn’t really his fault. “Okay. I’ll give you a chance to explain. And it will be nice to see you again.”

  “Yeah, it’s been a while. That sounds good. I’ve gotta go now. A client is coming in for a meeting and I need to prep for it. Talk to you later. Love ya.”

  Jan sank back into her chair, leaned down, and put her face in her hands. She had been complacent about her relationship with Steve for a long time. When they’d met in college, he’d been so romantic and charming, taking her out on dates to restaurants and bringing her flowers. And it didn’t hurt that she found his Scandinavian blonde hair and athletic build so attractive. Plus she got along great with his family. He had a big family and holidays were such fun. She’d help his mother cook fantastic meals. Jean was one of her favorite women in the world. On the walks Jan took with Steve and Rosa around the neighborhood after dinner, they used to joke that they were like an old married couple, settled into a comfortable routine.

  They’d been together for so long that until now it never even occurred to her that he might be seeing other women. The security of having a steady boyfriend was convenient. Was she just taking it for granted now? Was he? Jan never had to worry about having a date for Valentine’s Day or a wonderful extended family to visit during the holidays.

  But as she mentally went back over the conversations she’d had with Steve recently, some of the business trips seemed suspicious. He usually called her on Wednesday nights. But what if he wasn’t calling from his home? Steve had always said that she was exactly the type of girl he wanted to marry. That made her feel cared for and happy, but he never mentioned an actual date for them to get married. Of course, given her mother’s track record, Jan had never pushed to set a date for the wedding, either. Maybe she should have. Now, after all this time, maybe Steve was looking for more excitement. And finding it somewhere else.

  Rosa got up, came over to Jan’s chair, and placed her muzzle on Jan’s thigh. Jan sat up again in the chair and stroked the dog’s head. “Thanks for the sympathy, Rosa. I needed that. At least I always have you.”

  After a few bouts of berating herself and some time crying on Rosa’s shoulder, Jan decided that there was only one solution to this problem: ice cream. She washed her face, changed her clothes, and set out on a mission to the store to acquire some frozen goodness. Healthful things like soup could work as comfort food for small stresses, but for a relationship implosion like this one, it was time for some serious caloric intake.

  Jan stared down into the ice cream case pondering her options. She picked up a carton with a smiling cow on it. In this instance, it might be necessary to go all out and get the obscenely expensive designer-style Rocky Road made with pristine cream from only the happi
est of bovines.

  The sound of off-key singing came from the back of the store, and Jan looked away from her ice cream label. Near an end cap stacked with cans of chocolate syrup, Kat was grinning at another woman with a big mop of curly hair who was doing the cha-cha down the ice cream aisle toward Jan. Kat waved at Jan, smiled, and shrugged slightly.

  Kat pushed her cart up to Jan and introduced the other woman. “Hi Jan. This is my friend Maria. We used to work together. Now she comes up here to tell me stories of Corporate America to ensure I never lose my mind and consider returning.”

  Maria was wearing a very tight leopard-print dress that showed off her shapely form. Jan was impressed she could dance so well in the stiletto heels she was wearing.

  Jan put out her hand. “Hi. I’m Jan.”

  Maria shook her hand and said, “I’m thinking you’re having a relationship situation. Your hand is cold and you’ve been fondling that ice cream. Women don’t stand in front of the ice cream case deliberating like that unless they’ve got a man problem.”

  Jan glared at Kat. “Did you tell her? Are you spreading my business all around town?”

  Kat shook her head. “No. My lips are sealed. Maria is gifted in the relationship and food departments. If it involves men or junk food, she has a wealth of insights.”

  Maria put her hand on her hip. “You betcha. I’m like a sleuth. I can spot a bad man situation anywhere. Here’s what I know. Your eyes are red. You were crying, right? That means your man...okay, maybe your woman...I’m cool with that, too. But whatever. Your ‘significant other’ has done you wrong. Do you have a POSSLQ? Did he just move out? Okay, maybe not that. But it’s something bad. I don’t even know you, but I can tell you’re just way, way too close to that over-priced Rocky Road right there.”

  Jan’s eyes widened. “What’s a possle-que?”

  Maria smiled. “Aw, come on. Everyone knows that. It’s an acronym. Person of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters. So do you have one? Did he move out? Or she. Sorry. But then it would be a person of the same sex, or PSSSLQ, but that just sounds like hissing in the middle because of that extra S, so it’s hard to say without sounding creepy.”

  Jan straightened. “No, my boyfriend is not my POSSLQ. He lives in the city, but I see him on weekends quite a bit.”

  Kat said, “But he’s your fiancé, right?”

  “Yes.”

  Maria nodded knowingly. “Okay, there you go. He’s your man, even if you aren’t living together. Now what did he do? Because I know he did something.”

  Jan stammered, “I’m not sure exactly. I don’t think I want to talk about it. I should just get my ice cream and go home.”

  Kat reached out to touch Jan’s hand. “Maria and I are having a Wine and Whine event tonight. Would you like to come?”

  “Wine and what?”

  Maria pushed a chunk of unruly hair back behind her ear. “A Wine and Whine. We drink wine and we whine about whatever we want to whine about. Stupid bosses. Bad boyfriends. Uncomfortable shoes. Whatever is on your mind. We are equal-opportunity whiners.”

  Kat leaned on her cart. “What she means is that it’s kind of a free-for-all. Talk about what you want. Or nothing. You can listen to us gripe about people you don’t know. But the wine will flow. You might feel better if you have a little company. I’ve spent some time sitting in an empty house with a bunch of dogs feeling sorry for myself, so I know what I’m talking about here. If you’re gonna have a pity party, sometimes it’s better not to be alone. More people can help.”

  “And more wine,” Maria added.

  Kat said, “Think of it as a ‘girls’ night’ or something, if that makes it sound better to you. We’ll be at my house and Joel is off doing something nerdy, so he won’t be around, either. Just my dogs and cats. You can even bring Rosa. Everyone likes her.”

  Maria bent over the counter and looked down at the colorful cartons of ice cream. She turned to Kat. “I think we need some of that Rocky Road. So what’s in Rocky Road, anyway? Do we know what makes it rocky? It’s all frozen. They could have put anything in there. Rocks, even.”

  Jan said, “Originally Rocky Road was just chocolate ice cream, but now it usually has chocolate chips, almonds, and marshmallows. It was invented by William Dreyer in 1929.”

  Maria gave Jan a blank stare and then turned to Kat. “Wow. How does anyone even know that?”

  “She’s a librarian,” Kat replied.

  Jan blushed slightly. “I’m sorry. Steve hates it when I spout off facts like that. I tend to remember little tidbits of information. He says my brain is wired funny.”

  Maria squinted slightly at Jan. “Hmm. We need to talk about this Steve guy. Time to cha-cha back to the wine aisle! We’re gonna need the extra-big bottle for tonight.” Maria started to move forward, saying, “One-two-cha-cha-cha!” as she sashayed down the aisle.

  Kat turned to Jan. “She’s taking dancing lessons.”

  “I see.”

  “I need to catch up with Maria. Will we see you later?”

  Jan nodded. “Sure. Okay. Do you want me to bring anything?”

  “No, Maria has only just begun to shop. She’s a power grocery shopper. Joel and I will be eating slightly odd food for the rest of the week. I just need to try to keep her away from the Twinkie display. See you later!”

  “Okay.”

  Kat looked over her shoulder as she hustled down the aisle with the cart after Maria, “And don’t forget Rosa!”

  Jan scowled at herself in the mirror as she reapplied her face. She hated her freckles and unmanageable wavy hair, so she spent a lot of time trying to get both of them under control. When applying cover-up, there was a fine line between “flawless-and-fresh” and “zombie-pancake.” Given that today was clearly a bad hair day, she gave up and yanked her hair into a ponytail. She twisted her wavy hair up into the standard knot she usually wore to work and jammed in a few bobby pins for good measure. It would have to do.

  She looked down at Rosa, who was sleeping next to the bathroom door. “Okay Rosa, it’s a good thing you ate earlier because we’re going for a car ride.”

  Rosa lifted her head, looking concerned.

  “Don’t worry. You will eat again. I’ve never missed giving you a meal, have I?”

  Apparently accepting the idea that she would get food someday, Rosa put her head back down on her paws and sighed heavily.

  Jan leaned toward the mirror and dabbed a tissue on her lower lid, trying to remove the extraneous mascara around her hazel eyes. She jammed the mascara wand back into the tube and threw it into the drawer. “Okay, I give up. Let’s go.”

  It seemed that Rosa’s dinner had enough time to settle and would not be making a return visit all over the back seat of the car. As Jan slowly drove down the bumpy driveway toward Kat’s house, Rosa was just quietly sitting and staring out the window, not racing back and forth anxiously like she had last time. Good girl!

  Jan pulled into a spot under a tree. Kat, Maria, and several dogs were starting down the front steps of the house, looking like they were on a mission. What were they doing?

  Jan got out of the car, clipped the leash on Rosa, and grabbed the bag with the food and the little hostess gift she’d brought. The dog hurled her body out of the car, obviously excited to be back with her canine buddies. Jan waved at the two women. “Hi, I made it!”

  Kat smiled and waved back. “We’re heading over to the Tessa Hut. Maybe you can help solve the mystery.”

  Jan and Rosa followed the parade to the outbuilding and crowded inside with the others. Jan decided she probably had overdressed for the Wine and Whine, not realizing that it would include standing around in a dusty kennel. On the other hand, Maria was wearing a tight black dress that wrapped around her shapely form like a wet suit. It was remarkable that she could move her legs at all. Jan’s flowery print skirt and jacket were dowdy by comparison.

  Kat opened the gate and said, “Okay folks. I need suggestions. How does a dog get out
of a locked kennel? Dogs don’t have opposable thumbs. Joel is annoyed with me because I said he didn’t fix the kennel. According to him, there’s nothing to fix. But according to Rosa, it’s not escape-proof.”

  Jan looked down at Rosa. “So? How did you do it?” Rosa ignored the question and wagged enthusiastically.

  Maria ran a hand across the kennel fencing. “That’s one tricky dog you have. My sleuthing abilities don’t extend to chain link. I think we need to think like a dog. Kat, get down to Rosa’s level.”

  “What?” Kat said, “Why me?”

  “You don’t really think I’m gonna get down on that floor in this dress do you? A) I might not be able to get back up without ripping something and B) Ick. I know there’s dog snot down there.”

  “Fine. You are such a girl about stuff like this.” Kat said as she got down on all fours and was immediately crowded by the dogs, who thought what she was doing was unique, amazing, and extremely worthy of investigation. She pushed Lori’s nose away from her face. “Lori, eww, stop that.”

  Maria nodded. “I’m girlie and proud of it. If you insist on wearing those ugly blue jeans all the time, you’re gonna get nominated for tasks like this. So what do you see?”

  Kat turned her head to look around her. “Well, mostly dogs.” She shoved Linus, the huge hairy dog, over toward the doorway. “Listen Big Guy, you are just going to have to move. You don’t fit in here.” Looking dejected, Linus lumbered out through the gate, turned, and glared at her.

  Outside the kennel, Jan crouched down to dog level. “I don’t think she could dig out. There’s no evidence of claw marks, either.”

  “Nope. We checked.” Kat said. “And we’ve checked the wood on the building too. It’s fine. No holes.”

  Maria looked down at Rosa. “Not to be rude, but that’s one full-figured dog. I don’t think she is much of an athlete, is she? I’m thinking jumping and climbing isn’t an option for her. She’s not like one of those agility dogs that can scale walls and jump through tires and stuff.”