Fuzzy Logic

by Susan C. Daffron

  “Definitely not,” Jan said. “At home and at the library, mostly she naps.”

  Maria said to Kat, “Okay, crawl around and then jump up on the gate like a fat dog.”

  Kat glared at Maria as she reached up to close the gate. “You’re enjoying this a little too much.” But she complied, crawling and shoving furry canine bodies out of her way. Then she got on her knees and leaned up with her hands on the gate. “Happy now?”

  Maria stared at the gate. “I got nothing here.”

  Lori, the black-and-white border collie, was still inside the kennel with Kat. The dog was having a good time, since all this human crawling activity was a lot of fun. Lori jumped on the gate and stood on her hind legs next to Kat, giving her cheek a slurp, just to be social. Kat wiped her face with the back of her hand. “Thanks, Lori. You’re being really helpful here.”

  “I think I know what Rosa did,” Jan said. “See where Lori is located in relation to the gate? She could poke her nose in that gap and push up the latch. Rosa has a kind of pointy nose too, particularly for a Lab.”

  Maria said, “Yeah, that’s what gives her that kinda pinhead look.”

  “Well, I guess she’s not the prettiest Lab,” Jan said. “But she could get her nose in there, push up the latch, open the gate, and get out.”

  Kat sat back on her haunches and put her hands on her knees. “And then she did the same thing again to close the gate behind her? What dog does that?”

  Jan said, “Well maybe if she did it quickly the door would swing closed and the latch would fall back down?”

  Maria flipped the latch up and down. “Good enough for me. It’s better than any other theory we have. Who knew that a dog could be so sneaky? I think we need to celebrate with some wine.”

  Kat stood up and looked at the latch. “It’s got a hole. I could put a leash clip in the hole, and then she couldn’t push it up. Problem solved! Jan, you’re a genius. I agree; let’s go have wine. It’s getting cold out here.”

  Jan followed the women and dogs up the stairs into the house. She entered the house and noticed the aroma of aged wood as she crossed from the entryway into the kitchen. It made sense that a log house would smell a little like a tree. Although the house was old, it was obvious that Kat and Joel (probably mostly Joel) had been working on the place. Various areas of wood trim had the shiny white, clean look of new, unfinished lumber, which contrasted with the old, seasoned look of the logs.

  Maria made a beeline for the box of wine on the counter and grabbed a glass from the cabinet. “I’m pouring. Who’s in?”

  Jan reached into her bag and said, “You can save this for later, but I brought a bottle as a thank-you for inviting me.”

  “Hey, that looks way better than the box,” Maria said. “It has a pretty horse on the label and even a cork. Stylish. Let’s go with that. Thanks!”

  Kat opened the pantry and stared into it. She looked over her shoulder at Jan. “Please sit down. Relax while I figure out what we’re going to eat. I’ve got the drink and be merry part, but the eat part of the equation is still in question.”

  Maria said, “You could make pasta.”

  Kat sighed. “I really need to learn how to cook. It’s time to break out of my pasta habit. But most of the time Joel cooks, so that has made it easy to avoid the issue.”

  Jan walked over to the pantry and looked over Kat’s shoulder at the contents within. “That’s quite an eclectic combination of foodstuffs.”

  Maria looked up from pouring the wine. “Foodstuffs?”

  Kat said, “I told you that shopping with Maria is an adventure. Joel always manages to use up the more unusual things eventually, but it takes a while.”

  Jan turned to the refrigerator. “Do you mind if I take a look?”

  “Go for it,” Kat said.

  Jan surveyed the contents of the fridge. “Well, you have milk and flour and vegetables. You could make fettuccine Alfredo or a cream soup. All you need to do is cook the veggies and create a roux for a béchamel sauce.”

  Kat frowned. “I think you’ve overestimated my cooking abilities.”

  “I’m sure you have,” Maria said.

  “Don’t you have any cookbooks?” Jan said. “If you want some, we have many selections at the library. They are in the 641 section. In fact, 641.51 is cooking for beginners. You should start there.”

  Maria leaned back on the counter and raised her glass toward Jan. “That’s impressive. I guess you can take the librarian out of the library, but it looks like you can’t take the library out of the librarian. Your brain must be full.”

  Jan laughed. “I don’t think anyone has ever put it that way. But if you’d shelved as many cookbooks as I have, you’d know where they go, too.”

  Maria handed Jan a glass of wine. “I hope this wine goes with whatever sauce you were talking about. But if it doesn’t, that’s fine too.”

  Jan handed the wine over to Kat. “I don’t drink. But technically, since it’s a red, no, it’s not supposed to be consumed with a béchamel sauce. But you’re not having it with dinner, either. It’s an aperitif.”

  Kat took a sip from her glass of wine. “Works for me.”

  Jan spent an enjoyable few hours showing Kat how to cook dinner and watching the two women enthusiastically eat and drink wine. It had been years since she had just hung out with friends cooking and talking. After she graduated, Jan and her friends had drifted apart as they started new lives at libraries in various locations around the country.

  After feeding themselves and the dogs, the women gathered in the living room on the old sofas, which were covered with sheets and old blankets to repel the copious quantities of dog hair. Lori leaped up next to Kat and curled up in a corner for a post-dinner nap. The big dog Linus was snoring loudly on the floor, looking a lot like a bear rug.

  Maria leaned back and slumped down in the sofa. “That was some fantastic food. Larry would swoon. It’s better than that Italian place he used to take me to.”

  “Who is Larry?” Jan asked.

  “Larry was my man, but we broke up. It was fun for a while because he liked to take me out, and I like to go out. But he’s such a lawyer. I couldn’t deal with all the motions and appeals. Plus, I think he’s got the hots for the hostess lady at that Italian restaurant. But she’s never gonna give him the time of day. He’s just lucky someone as fabulous as I am was willing to date him. He’s got no prayer with her.”

  Kat giggled. “Motions and appeals? Gross. That’s just way too much information.”

  “Get your mind out of the gutter, girlfriend,” Maria said. “I meant he talks about all that legal stuff all the time. It’s a good sleep aid, but sometimes I want to be awake, you know what I mean?”

  Jan snickered. “Oh wait, you mean Lawrence Lowell, the lawyer? You went out with him?”

  Maria turned to face Jan. “Yes, I did. And it was good for a while. But that’s done now. You’re the one with the man problems, right? Isn’t that why you went on that trip?”

  “No, that was my mother’s wedding,” Jan said. “And there was an obnoxious man there, too. It was horrible. I think I’m having a string of bad luck.”

  Kat peered over her wine glass. “So was he cute?”

  “Why does everyone ask me that? Yes, okay. He was extremely good-looking. Tall with dark wavy hair and brown eyes. But he’s not my type.”

  Maria said, “Do you seriously think a lawyer is my type? That doesn’t matter. I don’t believe in the whole concept of types. It’s outdated. This is the mid-90s, ladies. We need to be free to date out of type if we want to.”

  “But I don’t want to date him,” Jan said. “He was unpleasant and his dog was even worse. Steve is my fiancé. We’ve been together for a long time and I thought we were happy. But now I’m not sure he’s happy.”

  Kat said, “So did you talk to him?”

  Maria waved her glass, sloshing a few drops of wine on the sofa cover. “Forget talking. Did you dump him? Because he
sounded like he needed some serious dumping. If you go waltzing around town with a bimbo, you need to get dumped.”

  “Yes, I did talk to him. I kept putting it off,” Jan said. “But I finally did make myself call him. It was all okay. I think it’s just a misunderstanding. He’s taking me out to dinner this weekend.”

  Maria tipped the top of her wine glass toward Jan. “Did he cop to screwing around on you or not? Because I’m sorry; I’ve seen that place and nobody is going to the H12 for the ambiance.”

  “No. I suppose he didn’t really admit to anything per se. He said we could talk about things.”

  “Per se? What does that mean? I don’t like where this is going,” Maria said. “When men get weasel-like and wishy-washy, you just can’t trust anything they say.”

  “I didn’t know the trip was for your mother’s wedding,” Kat said. “I guess you didn’t have a good time? What happened?”

  Jan closed her eyes and leaned back on the couch. It was nice that Kat had obviously made an effort to change the subject, but this subject wasn’t much better. “What didn’t happen? Anything having to do with my mother is always strange.” She exhaled loudly and then explained who her mother was and whom she was marrying.

  After Jan had described the Toilet King’s commercials, Kat started giggling quietly. By the time Jan had finished relating the entire tale of the torn dress, lost dog, the merengue, puppet shows, Bob the drunk guy, and Swoosie’s digestive indiscretions, they were all laughing uncontrollably. In retrospect, the whole situation was funny, even to Jan.

  Maria had rolled off her chair and was lying on the floor next to Linus. “Oh man, my stomach hurts. That’s the best wedding story ever. I want to be invited to your mom’s next one.”

  Jan snickered and said, “Don’t worry; I’m sure there will be another one. I just can’t believe Michael got me to do the merengue in front of people. I never do that kind of thing. In fact, I hate even the idea of performing anything. I practically flunked English in tenth grade because I refused to do the oral report. At the wedding, when the music started I thought I was going to throw up. But after it was over I felt exhilarated in a way. Maybe because it was so scary. And I really did it.”

  “That sounds intense,” Kat said. “But wait...a librarian who almost flunked English? No way.” She stared thoughtfully at her wine as she swirled it around in the glass. “Hey, if you put a cowboy hat on this Michael guy, it sounds like he looks like a younger, hotter version of the Marlboro man.”

  “And he can dance!” Maria said. “That’s gonna get my attention every time. He can even dance with hairy white dogs. Impressive.”

  “Yes, well, I’ll probably never see him again,” Jan said. “I don’t even know where he lives. He was too busy trying to find his annoying dog or talking to his friends to have much of a conversation with me.”

  Maria glanced at Kat and then turned to Jan. “I’m noticing that you don’t get that animated about this Steve guy. Do you even like him? If you’re planning to marry Steve, you should at least like him. I’m a romantic you know, and personally, I prefer to hold out for true love. But even if you’re not like me and you’re gonna settle for this guy, you gotta at least start out with some ‘like’ happening, anyway.”

  “Of course I do,” Jan said, sitting up on the sofa again. “We have a comfortable relationship. Maybe it’s not rip-roaring hilarity all the time, but it’s easy being with him. There’s not a lot of stress like there is being around my mother and all her drama. It’s a relief, really.”

  Maria widened her eyes. “Sounds boring. I sure hope he isn’t that dull in bed.”

  The color rose on Jan’s cheeks, “I, ah, well...”

  Kat stood up quickly, and all of the dogs leapt up after her as she started collecting the glasses and various snack foods strewn around the living room. Jan helped her clean up, but kept replaying what Maria had said in her mind. Boring? Was it possible her relationship with Steve had become so routine and humdrum that she hadn’t noticed she didn’t even like him anymore? And after so much time, obviously they weren’t teenagers anymore groping at each other all the time. But it wasn’t that bad. Was it?

  After Jan left and Maria had retired to the downstairs bedroom, aka Kat’s office, Kat curled up on the couch with a novel and Lori, who was enjoying having her fuzzy ears scritched while Kat read. Now that it was quiet, Tessa the golden retriever, and Chelsey the small brown-and-white dog, had ventured up to the living room from their lair in the downstairs hallway. They were curled up on the floor with Linus, who was lying flat on his side snoring audibly. Tripod the three-legged cat was ensconced in Kat’s lap. All the fur and snoring around her had a soporific effect and Kat was startled awake when Tripod shot off her lap. All four dogs launched toward the door, barking furiously.

  Joel and Lady, his collie mix, walked in, and after much canine greeting and cavorting, they all moved into the living room. Joel had been meeting with an old friend named John who had come up from Las Vegas to talk about a project related to writing software for slot machines. John was staying in Joel’s small cabin, affectionately known as The Shack.

  Kat unfolded her legs from under her and wrapped her arms around her knees to try to discourage Tripod from returning to her lap. As Joel walked toward her across the room, Kat enjoyed the delicious fluttery thrill she always got when she saw him. “Hi. How was the meeting? Does John like The Shack?”

  Joel sat down on the sofa next to Kat, wrapped his arms around her, and gave her a quick kiss hello. “It was good. John is settling in okay. I think he’s having trouble adjusting to the quiet. Being in the middle of a forest is different from the bright lights of Vegas. At least The Shack smells better now. I think the burnt smell is finally mostly gone now.”

  Kat nodded. “Well that’s an improvement, anyway. He probably wasn’t happy when he found out that Allison threw your TV out the window before she tried to set The Shack on fire. I think there are football games on, aren’t there?”

  “It’s fall. There are always football games on. I gave him a book about database theory, which will help him sleep. How was your evening? Is Maria still here somewhere?”

  Kat moved closer to Joel, snuggling up next to him and nudging Tripod aside. “She has retired to my office. I think she may have indulged in a little too much in the liquid aspect of the Wine and Whine. She didn’t really do much whining herself, but I think she may have stressed out Jan.”

  “I’m not finding this particularly difficult to imagine.”

  “She said that Jan’s relationship with her fiancé was boring. I think Jan had never really thought of it that way. Maria calls us boring all the time and it doesn’t bother me.”

  Joel raised an eyebrow suggestively and smiled. He traced the outline of her jaw with his fingertips. “That’s because you know we’re not always boring.”

  Trying not to let him distract her from the point, Kat said, “Well, yes. I do know that. But I felt bad for Jan, since I invited her. She really seemed surprised and upset. But the good news is that I think she figured out the Rosa mystery. Or maybe Lori did.”

  “I know border collies are smart, but Lori isn’t that smart.”

  Lori raised her head at the sound of her name and Kat reached over to stroke the dog’s soft fur. “Aw, now you’ll give Lori a complex. Actually, she jumped up on the kennel gate and Jan noticed that Lori’s pointy little snout was right near the latch. The current theory is that Rosa pushed the latch up with her nose, went out, and the latch fell back into place. Or she went out and closed the latch.”

  Joel shook his head. “I’m not sure I’m buying into this idea.”

  “It’s a working theory. And the solution is simple. I can just put a little clip on the latch to keep her in.”

  “It’s worth a try. And it’s a cheap fix, which is good. I did some more calculations on the costs for building the kennel and it’s going to be more than we thought. Concrete work is expensive.”

&nbs
p; “Well, I still have money from the inheritance.”

  “But you’ll want to have something to live on until you get things going.”

  “It’s no big deal. Something will work out.”

  Joel released her from his embrace and looked into her blue eyes. “I’m serious. Not having any money in Alpine Grove is a problem. You can’t just go and get another job, unless you plan to become a logger. Having a financial buffer gives you some security.”

  “No. I’m not going to go chop down trees for a living,” Kat said. “Chain saws disturb me. But I do have some freelance-writing money. And the house is paid for.” She grinned. “Plus, I’m hoping you’ll feed me if I start to starve.”

  Joel leaned back away from her on the couch. “You’re kidding, right?”

  Kat picked some dog hair off her jeans and threw it on the floor. What was this about? “Have I ever asked you for money? Let me answer for you. No, I haven’t.”

  Joel crossed his arms across his chest. “Of course you haven’t, because you just inherited money. Why would you?”

  Sensing dissent, Tessa stood up and put her golden snout on Kat’s thigh. Kat rubbed the velvety fur. “It’s okay, Tessa. We’re talking about money.” She turned to Joel. “And it seems Joel is going to be weird about it.”

  “I don’t think it’s weird to say that you should have savings. In case things don’t work out.”

  “What things do you mean, exactly?”

  “Well, the dog-boarding business. Or writing. Things. You’ve only boarded one dog so far. What if you hate owning a kennel?”

  “Don’t you think I’ve thought about that? I boarded one dog and she immediately escaped. So far my track record is not good.” As if she weren’t already insecure enough about starting a business, she’d been bested by a fat Labrador retriever. How pathetic.

  The hard glint in Joel’s green eyes softened and he leaned over to kiss her gently. “I’m not saying you can’t do it. Just that it’s good to have a back-up plan. And that requires money. When I lost my job, it was a good thing I had some money saved up and that I’d paid for The Shack in cash, so I’d have a place to live.”