Antithesis

by Allison Crews

  ~~~

  Exams flew by, and I was so very thankful for their distraction. In no time, we were boarding the plane to Scotland.

  Griffen had called a few times, but the conversations had not improved since Sunday’s. He was not really gloomy, mostly aloof, and refused to explain his actions on Sunday in the woods. I had heard by now from Ben and even Addy that we were no longer going to hunt that fixture, and everyone blamed Griffen. William had been just as closed-mouthed as he, so we assumed the obvious. It was easier to believe everyone else, now that Griffen was gone, that I had been love blind or something.

  It was at the barn, however, that I missed him. Really, really, missed him. In the way I saw him look at Viva – and me when I was riding her. I could see the longing in his eyes to love and be loved. His mysterious understanding of how animals felt, reacted, and how he instinctively could read and understand me almost as well. Embarrassingly so. Was I already falling in love with him, or who I wanted him to be?

  “No!” Grand interrupted. “Love is always a choice. Now and even more so, later. You have to choose wisely. There’s still time to choose ‘no’! You must choose ‘no’! What else is there to see? Is he going to have to hurt you to get through to you? Please don’t do that to your parents…to us who love you so much.”

  I’ll listen. But I didn’t believe it was not already too late. At least it was too late to do this without anyone getting hurt. He won’t have to hit me to hurt me. My heart’s going to hurt when I have to push him away…already. Is it always this fast? I’ll not choose to love him…yet. I still have a choice. I still have a choice.

  The plane took off, and I did what I could to leave thoughts of Griffen behind. Scotland would be so lovely, and I could not wait for it to cast its spell. For a moment, I worried that I’d forgotten to get Ashley to check on Viva this afternoon, remembered that she was taking care of everything, and laid my head against the seat and slept.

  A cold, blowing rain welcomed us to Scotland us as we left the airport. I had never been to another country, but what should have been culture shock to me actually was a delightful thrill. The musical sounds of conversation lifted my spirits, but had the opposite effect of making me want Griffen here all the more. In the uncertainty and splendor of this place, I wanted him beside me. I wanted him, not the image of a perfect him, just him as he is now. Grand and I had been arguing constantly – she would not leave me alone – “This will not work, Elliott, unless he learns to control his temper. You can’t do it! You cannot change anyone! Don’t even go there!”

  Scotland’s dark vistas reminded me of his moods, and I wanted to run back into his arms and comfort him. The damp countryside was refreshing to the humid heat of home. Flowers exploded from window boxes nearly inspiring me to attempt some boxes of my own at the barn.

  “So, Elliot,” Daddy asked over a fabulous meal at the end of our second day together, “how are you feeling? Are you having a good time?”

  “Daddy, this is the loveliest place I have ever seen or imagined! Thank you so much for bringing me here,” I said.

  “Any thoughts you want to share about Griffen? I certainly don’t want to pry,” he said.

  It felt really strange discussing Griffen with my father, but I thought I would give it a try.

  “Daddy, I have been thinking about him,” I said. “Probably too much. I heard what you said about the different decks of cards, but I also heard you tell me all my life that we are who we choose to become.”

  “I am glad you listen,” he said with a smile. “Your mother’s not always as good at that!”

  “Daddy, you’re so wise,” I said. “And I’m really glad we’re getting to spend this time together. I’ll always treasure these memories.”

  “So is he closer or farther from your thoughts?” he asked.

  “Daddy, he told me so many things about what his uncle has done for him, and right now, he’s in Argentina helping kids who have no hope have a future. He was once mad at God, and now he thanks Him for providing him with an uncle so loving and caring. His uncle sounds so much like you,” I said.

  “Elliott, just don’t think you’ll change him,” he said. “He has to make his own way, and all that I ask is that you be careful with my most precious cargo, you. He was not raised like you. He has no idea how precious you are to your mother and me. Do not let that boy hurt you, please. For my sake.”

  “Well, we’ve only been on one date,” I smiled. “I can’t believe this happened so fast.

  “Your mother and I can. You are a treasure, Elliott. And everyone around you knows it. It is about time you slowed down long enough to let someone love you besides us,” he said. “You just really need to be careful about who you choose to love.”

  We headed back to the room, and I flopped on my big, soft bed. Scotland was spectacular, and I couldn’t wait to see more of it in the morning. The telephone rang, and I answered wondering who in the world would be calling our room?

  “Hello?” I said.

  “Mr. Marks, please,” the operator said in the lovely lilted Scottish voice.

  “Daddy…? It’s for you,” I said.

  “Hello?” he said. “Certainly, I’ll talk to him. Thank you. Yes, hello. Now? I think that could be arranged. I’ll be down in five minutes.”

  “Where are you going?” I asked.

  “Just a business meeting,” he said. “Why don’t you look through these books and decide what we’ll do tomorrow on my free time. We’ll have about three hours tomorrow afternoon – you pick. I should be back in about thirty minutes. Then we can go for a walk if you like.”

  “Really? Oh, thank you, Daddy,” I said reaching up to give him a peck on the cheek.

  The catalogs were full of day treks, pony treks – I didn’t think Daddy would like those – maybe if I had some alone time – and great little villages for…of all things…shopping. Maybe I could find some wool riding gloves or a wool scarf – something made here.

  Maybe we’ll go see another castle – one off the tour – no, I think I want to just walk and ramble in the little towns and watch the people in the pubs. I loved the idea of getting the sense of the people. The people working at the hotel were friendly, but so reserved and distant. I wanted to know the people and what made them tick…

  I couldn’t believe the splendor of this countryside and part of me wanted to just wander and look. Even Edinburgh, an enormously large city, looked so intriguing. Maybe we could go see some museums…

  There was a knock on the door.

  “Elliott,” Daddy said.

  “Come on in, I’m decent,” I said.

  He walked in with a strange grin on his face. “There’s someone downstairs who wants to see you,” he said.

  “Daddy! Not Mr. Carlton’s son already, I hope!” I said feeling like an Indian princess being offered for trade.

  “No, not him. You’ll want to look nice, though. Trust me,” he said.

  What a strange thing for a father to tell a daughter. That didn’t squelch the princess barter image. My flags were up – what in the world had he done? I pulled on something acceptably feminine, brushed my hair, and swiped on a little lipstick just to make him happy.

  “You better hurry. I don’t think he’s very patient,” Daddy said with a smile.

  I walked downstairs and into the lobby. There were a few people in the room, but I had no idea who I was supposed to meet. As I approached the counter, I heard him.

  “Elliott,” he said in that eversodistinctive perfect voice.

  “Griffen?!” How could this be? “But, you’re supposed to be in Argentina!”

  He pulled me to him and gave me a fullblownkissonthemouth in front of everyone in the room – uninvited – again. Oh no! Where was my father? Why had he allowed this…after all he knows?

  “Griffen!” I said and pushed him back this time, no slap, though. “What are you doing?”

  “Kissing you,” he smiled.

  “You know what I mean
!” I stammered, blushing, I’m sure, and shaking in…well, not anger…really.

  “I’ve come to take you to dinner,” he said, eyes gleaming, taking in my startled, confused, and very flushed face.

  “But I’ve already eaten,” I said, trying, not succeeding, to seem somewhat angry at him.

  “So let me buy you dessert,” he persisted.

  “Why are you here?” I insisted, glowering at him, but wanting to kiss him some more…badly.

  “Because you are here, Elliott, and it has been over a week since I kissed you,” he smiled. “That was worth crossing the ocean.”

  “But my father?” I said.

  “He’s given me permission to buy your…dessert, and whatever else you like,” he said, eyes sparkling.

  “Permission?” I asked, amazed.

  “Yes. It was time that I spoke to him about you, rather, my elevated interest in you, and to make sure we were on the same page,” he said.

  He walked me over to a little sitting area in the lobby, so we would not be in the middle of the room.

  “You flew across the ocean to ask my father for permission to date me?” I asked, stunned now that this was sinking in.

  “Elliott, I love you. I just don’t know if I can be the right person for you,” he said. “But the more I thought about it, the more I knew that I have to spend time with you to see. The last thing I wanted would be to have to sneak around your parents. If I could not have convinced your father of my intentions and earn his trust, then I would have left you alone.”

  “How did you know that I would agree to see you?” I frowned. “Especially since we did not exactly part on the best of terms.” He just said he loves me! Where did that come from? Think…don’t lose focus.

  “I was counting on my presence,” he said softly, leaning in to me, brushing his fingertips through my hair. “It has always worked with you before.”

  Hold up, knees – hand throbbing again. I blinked to clear my head. Maddeningly effective. He is so arrogant! First kiss indeed. I bet he loves me…This one knows exactly how to get his way with women. He’s playing me like a piano and my father!

  “Well, it’s not going to be that easy with me,” I said. “You’re going to have to trust me to be able to handle knowing everything about you. Like what happened in the hunt field last weekend.”

  He beamed. “Oh, that. Well, I can tell you now that those…idiots… are in custody. It seems that they’ve been in to some bad stuff for quite some time. Just no one was willing to press charges. Everyone is related in the South, you know, so most of the time they looked the other way. Harmless boys just being boys stuff…”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked.

  “When I was on the Levee side, I saw three guys on four-wheelers in the general direction of where William said he had stationed some landowners with a radio. I rode over to be sociable and see if they knew what was going on with the hounds,” he said.

  “When we were alongside them, one of the guys stepped off his four-wheeler and grabbed Jet’s reins. It irritated me, but I didn’t realize what he was doing until I saw the guy that I’d wanted to kill the night before.”

  I was stunned. “They were after you?” I said. Fear gripping my stomach at the thought of that angry man and Griffen and two others alone in the swamp.

  “He told me to get off my horse and come with them,” he said.

  “What did you do?” I asked, amazed.

  “The only thing I could think to do – pulled my pistol,” he smiled.

  “You pulled your rat shot pistol on three men?” I asked, amazed that Griffen was here to tell about this.

  “No, I pointed it at the one holding Jet’s reins,” he said. “And he dropped them in surprise. I don’t think they expected any of us to be carrying guns, even if it did only hold rat shot. He couldn’t tell from where he was. He just knew there was a loaded gun pointed at his face by an angry man at very close range.”

  “But they had Jet’s bridle, and there were three of them. You had lost your mind, Griffen,” I said. “Why did they let you go, without a scene?”

  “The next thing I knew, Lydia was riding up to tell me that the hounds were likely on hogs. It was perfect timing, and they backed off. I was pretty sure they were just trying to teach me a lesson and were not after a full-blown scandal. Their rifles were still in the gun racks,” he said.

  “That explains Lydia’s side,” I said. “She thought you were threatening them. And made sure I knew about it. She had me convinced you were an out-of-control, unpredictable menace.”

  “She’s not all wrong,” he said, smiling to himself. “And we do have a bit of a history that would probably make her say something like that to you.”

  “What history?” I said.

  “We’ll talk about that later,” he said. “I thought you wanted to know about what happened in the swamp.”

  “That, too,” I said, a little off balance thinking that Griffen had more history that involved Lydia.

  “Lydia could tell that I would have loved to personally teach all three of them a lesson, but it was best that we left. After the hunt, I told William what happened. He wanted to keep it quiet until we had time to get information on who exactly they were.”

  “Did you find out?” I asked.

  “Between William, Mr. Stanford, and my uncle, they found enough dirt on them to ensure they wouldn’t be bothering anyone for a long time,” he smiled.

  “Why were they on that property? I thought it was private land,” I said.

  “Yes, but one of them is related to a member, so they were able to be there without raising any questions,” he said. “That old club has a lot more members than most Delta clubs, and we were hunting at their invitation.”

  “You could have said something before now,” I said.

  “Yes, but I would have betrayed William’s confidence. He asked that I keep this quiet until we knew what we were dealing with,” he said, brushing the hair off my neck. My breathing was getting shallow again and goose bumps crept up my spine.

  “And…” he added, “I really was way too angry at those three. I would have relished pulling the trigger on the one holding Jet’s bridle… and that bothered me…a lot. I had almost convinced myself to give up on this…and you.”

  I shivered, at his touch, and at the thought of Griffen shooting someone who had threatened his Jet…and me. I knew he was capable of it. I had seen his anger.

  “But I kept thinking about what you said…about my choices… and about the power alive in me to do that, if I would only admit that I could not overcome this alone,” he said.

  “Griffen, we all have murderous thoughts from time to time,” I said. “Particularly when someone or something we love is threatened. There’s nothing abnormal about that. Normal people just don’t act irrationally on them.”

  “I wasn’t feeling very normal or rational, and it disturbed me… deeply. I wasn’t ready to tell you about my murderous thoughts that had surfaced twice since I revealed my ancestry,” he said, and leaned toward me for effect.

  “Griffen, you are not your father, not a murderer,” I said, my throat constricting…he was moving into the space again.

  “I most certainly am, many times over,” he said, and I sat back, stunned. I did not need to hear that tonight. Or did I?

  “In my mind, Elliott,” he said, responding quickly to my reaction. “But that’s just as bad, when you’re battling something inside that’s so strong.”

  “No it isn’t, Griffen!” I said. “The thoughts don’t get you put in jail.”

  “Let’s hope you’re right,” he said. “Now, about that dessert…”

  “Your history with Lydia first,” I said, grinning mischievously. “Maybe I should be the one with murderous thoughts.”

  “Lydia finds in me a great challenge, I think,” he said. “By ignoring her all these years, I’ve become an obsession.”

  “No wonder she’s so snippy towards me,”
I said, intrigued. “I could never figure out why someone who looks like her would feel threatened by me.”

  “She’s an empty shell, that one,” Griffen said. “As are most I’ve been associated with. Until you.”

  There he goes again – I’m trying to remember to breathe. I can’t believe he is here – right here – now – in Scotland with me. His fingers were still toying with the hair beside my neck. I was really wishing we were not in such a public place.

  “So she just, what, stalks you?” I asked, trying to focus and forget about where his fingers had brushed my neck.

  “I told you what I decided to do about women, or rather, my choice to stay away from them, and she’s no exception. But that has not made me immune to their advances,” he said.

  “You said you’d never kissed anyone before!” I said, my face flushing before I could catch myself.

  “I haven’t!” he said. “But I have been kissed, really, attacked,” he smiled innocently…but it wasn’t translating to me as innocent...at all. “I don’t count that!”

  “Like you pounced on me in the clearing, when I was watching the fox,” I said, smiling at the memory. “You have had practice, or rather, seen that before, then?”

  “Dessert, remember – I’m here to feed you, not fight,” he said, changing the subject.

  “Should we take a bodyguard?” I said. “I’m not sure how the women in Scotland will react. Perhaps it is not of you that I should be afraid.”

  “Dessert!” he demanded. “You may not be hungry, but I need to eat.”

  “All right, I’ll let you buy me dessert. Let me run upstairs and tell Daddy what you’ve proposed,” I said, still not convinced he really intended for me to leave the premises with Griffen. “Wait here.”

  I could not believe the change in my father’s attitude. He was wholeheartedly in favor of my going with him – anywhere. He just requested that Griffen have me back by by 10:30 so he could get some rest and not have to wait up late for me. I have to know what Griffen told him. What in the world could he have said to my father for him to be happy about me spending time with…him? In another country? After dark?