Antithesis

by Allison Crews

He was not taking the hint and continued to babble and fuss.

  “Really, I’m fine, sir, I assure you,” I said giving him my most winning smile. “No, I can walk, see?”

  At last, he left, placated with my animated responses. Griffen’s face was still rock hard, but the blood had returned to his cheeks and his eyes were not quite so dark.

  Fionan had gathered our gear and gone ahead of us back to the lunch area. As we walked alongside each other arm in arm again in the beautiful woods, I felt him relax, somewhat. He was still tense, and I didn’t want him to make a scene at the picnic after such a spectacular morning.

  “All my fault,” I said, rolling my eyes for effect.

  “What are you talking about?” he said through gritted teeth. “Lucky for him he didn’t kill you, or worse.”

  “We have spent nearly two days together and you have not once had an occasion to rescue me,” I smiled looking up at him and blinking my best damselindistress face into his angry one. “I was hoping to wake up next to you again in a hospital gown.”

  “That’s not funny,” he growled, but with a little less edge.

  “Yes…it is,” I nudged gripping his right arm with my right hand. “I need to feel adored. You’ve been ignoring me all morning gazing at the skies.”

  “I can fix that,” he leaned in a little too close.

  “Your idea to be surrounded by people today,” I said, lifting my chin up and away from his approach.

  “We can certainly bag this…just a nod to Fionan…” he continued.

  “No way, inspector,” I said. “I will not take you away from the promised food and the chance for you to gloat over your shooting prowess.”

  The picnic looked like something out of a Barbour catalog – tartans were spread over folding tables covered with bangers, or sausages, cheese, and several types of crusty bread. Deep, hot bowls of soup emitted little streams of steam and had the whole hill smelling delicious. The food was served in wicker baskets with real utensils – no paper or plastic. Even the napkins were cloth. For dessert there were several types of cookies and small cakes. I ate all this with hot cups of mulled wine to abate the damp chill from the late morning shoot.

  All the shooters made much of Griffen’s ability with his matched guns. The gentlemen had relaxed after the incident, much to my relief. It seemed as if their ladies, too, were doing what they could to lift the conversation from anger and outrage to shooting ability, pretty guns, and general merriment. In admiration, I realized they were as adept at their task of keeping the peace as the retrievers were in picking up all the birds.

  The lunch was over way too soon, and we bade farewell to our new acquaintances. Mr. Salter, who had almost shot me, finally calmed down and made us promise we would visit him at his estate in England. He seemed pleased with our vague assurances, and we finally were able to escape to continue the rest of the day’s adventure.

  “That was fabulous!” I said to Griffen as we returned to the Range Rover for the ride back to our village. “I actually enjoyed watching that and understand a little more about hunting, I think. It certainly was not just about killing, and that was a surprise.”

  He smiled and winked conspiratorially at Fionan. “Told you she wouldn’t be a problem.”

  “A problem?” I asked, anger rising in my tone. “What kind of problem?”

  “Oh, you know, waving your arms around and running off the birds,” he said.

  “I’m so sorry to disappoint you,” I snapped. Knowing full well that had been my intention if I had not been so intimidated by the ceremony.

  “I had faith that you, of all people, would understand shooting,” he said, looking back at me over the seat and melting me with his gaze.

  “Yes, well, it was the clothes that made me behave,” I said. “And seeing the other ladies, well, doing their part.”

  Griffen caught the sarcasm, but it was lost on Fionan.

  “Aye, yes, lass. We like to think of our ladies like the best gun dogs…lovely, but not flashy; silent, competent, and biddable,” Fionan grinned.

  “International menaces, all of you!” I said as I playfully smacked the back of Fionan’s head. “I’ll deal with you later!” I said to Griffen.

  “I’m counting on it, lass,” he said.

  This time it was my turn to blush.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  Chapter 20 - Mother

  Runaway horse, running away…push the panic from my mind…

  She’s not going to fall…she’s moving too fast…stay with this…ride it out…

  Muscles surging, black hooves flying, eagerness swelling in my soul…

  Pull…makes no difference…not enough room to circle…

  Faster and faster…jump looming ahead…panic returned…pastures beyond.

  Our halcyon days in Scotland flew by too rapidly. Griffen and my father even enjoyed the time they spent together over dinner. Daddy was astounded that we had been able to attend a driven shoot and wanted all the details. Never a hunter, he did appreciate shooting sports in general.

  Griffen left for Argentina the following day, and the remaining time I spent in Scotland was not nearly as eventful. I enjoyed the sights with Daddy, but of course, missed Griffen. Not having him around was causing a dull ache – something I had never before experienced and not something I enjoyed. He texted me daily and called every evening, but it made me want him with me all that much more. It frightened me to have become this attached to him so quickly.

  Upon our return home, Mother went right for the jugular and assaulted us both with Griffen questions – jet lag notwithstanding. It was a good thing that the return trip had been uneventful, and I had slept on the plane.

  “I want full details, Elliott, no holding back!” she beamed mischievously. “How ever did he convince your father to turn you loose with him in Scotland?”

  “He told Daddy he wanted to marry me someday and would treat me like the treasure I am,” I smiled.

  Mother paled. I thought she would feint.

  “He said that to him?” she asked, stunned.

  “Well, something along those lines,” I said.

  “And your father believed him?” Mother continued.

  “He must have been quite convincing,” I said. “And, he was true to his word, Mother. He really is a gentleman.” Most of the time. But I feel like I’m on a runaway horse. Help me.

  “Either that or really dangerous! Oh Elliott, he does sound fabulous, but, well, you know,” she said. And I did know. The elephant in the room was waving its trunk around. “I can’t choose for you, but I can and want to help you – as long as you want me to.”

  “You know I do, Mother,” I said. “I am really tired, though, and would like the chance to rest. I’ll give you a play-by-play tomorrow I promise.”

  The next day I was able to gather my thoughts and make the most of my time with Mother. I confessed that Griffen was way past just under my skin, and she appreciated my candor. We were wrapping Christmas presents, and the mindless endless task helped me think about my questions.

  “Mother, how do I know how his…parents…the way they treated each other…will affect him…or how he treats me?” I asked.

  “That, dear, only comes in time,” she said. “You have to keep looking past those green eyes to see his soul. It takes time – a lot of time – to get to know people. And even then, it’s always a big step of faith. Just keep your head about you as best as you can and learn who he is. If you would work at that as much as you practice your riding, you should be just fine.”

  I tossed the package of bows at her and she smiled.

  “Really, Elliott, just remember that when you are dating, everything matters. Because once you’re married, what bothers or concerns you about him may very likely get ten times worse. You can’t change anyone. Make your choice knowing as much as you can about what you are getting and knowing that you absolutely can not and will not live without him…that you will do anything for him – not expecting anyt
hing in return. That kind of love works,” she said.

  My phone buzzed, and I dug through the piles of wrapping paper to find it.

  Sunny and 85 degrees. Just finished a ride on the Pampas. Rather be watching you than gauchos. Griffen.

  I showed Mother.

  “Can you believe he’s riding in Argentina?” I said. “I thought they spent their whole time in the city – in Buenos Aires. I can’t wait to hear about what they’re doing this time…in the summertime weather!”

  “Expensive hobbies even if it is doing things for other people, dear,” Mother said. “Is he any closer to deciding what he wants to do for a living?”

  “I don’t know, but I’ll run that line of questioning at him soon,” I promised. “I’m curious about that as well. I do know his mother had a lot of life insurance and he got all that once he turned 21 – but he definitely spends – at least on his horse and on me! His uncle had been managing everything for him since he adopted him. That’s all I know for now.”

  “His uncle is certainly a fine man, I’ll give him that. And he raised two very sharp boys,” Mother said. “I’ve checked him out thoroughly. In fact, it’s too bad both of them are married, or I’d be notifying your sisters!”

  “Oh Mother, you never stop!” I smiled.

  “Elliott, marriage is such a tremendous blessing – at least it has been for me. I want you and your sisters to be happy with or without someone in your life. It’s been so rewarding to me, and I want you to have that same kind of relationship with your spouses…and my grandkids someday of course,” she said, tossing the bows back in my face.

  I was glad she was being positive about this, but I still wasn’t sure I could trust my judgment, especially when Griffen was around. I did not know how to ask Mother this without being embarrassed, though, so I tried another angle.

  “Do you think Griffen will be all right, I mean, safe?” I asked. “I can’t imagine growing up like he did. It’s bound to make a difference in how he sees things.”

  “Elliott, of course it will, but people from the best of families can turn out to be bad. You know you choose who you become in spite of or because of your upbringing. It certainly helps to have been brought up well, but Griffen knows right from wrong. His mother and his uncle both made sure of that. He’s an adult. The whole purpose of dating is to get to know who someone is – their values – their dreams,” she said. “As far as safe goes, you need to be sure you don’t get yourself in a bad position with him until you know him better… until you know you can trust him.”

  All back on me and my choices. Why is this not so black and white? I wish she’d just tell me what to do like she did when I was little! I frowned, and she kept watching me – not obviously, but I knew she was all tuned in to what I would say next. We worked on the presents in silence for a while letting those words sink in.

  “Mother, it hurts when he’s not here,” I finally said. “And I’ve only known him just a little while. This is crazy. I am not sure I can make good decisions about him any more.”

  “It’s because you realize that very thing that you will, dear,” she said, hugging me close to her. “You have everything you need right here,” she said wrapping her hands around my head, cradling my face in her hands, and kissing me on the forehead. “Your Daddy and I will help you however you want us to. Besides, God’s not going to guide you wrong. Just keep us all in the loop, no matter how hard that gets. You can’t imagine how much we love you. But someday I hope you will.”

  We gathered all the presents and took them to the tree. The excitement of Christmas was dimmed considerably knowing that I would not see Griffen until after the first of the year…two more weeks. It felt like eternity, but I was glad we were able to talk daily. He never tired of asking me questions and describing in detail every bird, flower, and of course, horse he encountered in Argentina.

  The kids he was helping were so fun, too, and every time he found a home for one of them, he hardly spoke of anything else. There were so many that it sounded almost hopeless…like he was rescuing thousands of stranded starfish…one at a time… his own small way of contributing to the helpless people in the world. How could someone with such a heart be dangerous? Why does he think of himself that way? He still seems to good to be true.

  An explosion in the kitchen brought me out of my reverie.

  “Mother?” I called and ran to the room.

  “I’m fine, dear, just dropped some pans,” she said. “Help me clean up this mess – I’m trying to do too many things at once and everyone is coming over and – well, thanks.”

  I gathered the strewn pots and other items that had crashed to the floor. Mother seemed unusually on edge, and I reached over to hug her.

  “Is everything all right?” I said. “Really?”

  “No, Elliott. I don’t know what to tell you about Griffen,” she said. “And it’s killing me. I know you’ll be fine, but a mother worries, you see. If I tell you something wrong and he hurts you, I’ll never forgive myself.”

  This was unnerving – me comforting my mother about whom I choose to date. “Mother, I know you are trying to help. And I really appreciate it. I promise I’ll be careful,” I said.

  She looked up at me and smiled, not convinced.

  “I will,” I said again with more conviction, still nervous about how this conversation was going.

  “I know,” she said. “I just hope it’s not too late for you to be able to stay clear-headed about Griffen. Remember, I know how you feel, Elliott. I’ve been there – I am so eternally grateful that your father is who he is. Once I fell in love with him, I think he could have been a serial killer, and I’d have followed him to the ends of the earth. Maybe not, hopefully not, but I remember that feeling, too. It is so very powerful and irresistible – and for this to be your first time, too.”

  “No kidding, Mother,” I said. “And look what it took to turn my heart!”

  “I love you, dear,” she said. “I hope he really does, too. That can make all the difference.”

  My telephone rang – Griffen. Mother looked at me and smiled – she gave me a little wave as she left the room.

  “Griffen?” I said.

  “Expecting any other calls from this number?” he said.

  “Definitely you, I hear. So, what glorious adventures have you had today?” I said.

  “You got my text about riding – so you know I got to play with the gauchos. Three of the boys and I got to help a farmer move some of his cattle and it was great. You would love their horses – all so smooth and easy to ride at a slow canter. You can just rock along on them all day. This rancher is going to let these three boys live with his men and work for him starting next month. The kids are so excited, and I’m glad they all got along so well.”

  “That’s wonderful!” I said. “Those boys will always be grateful for this, Griffen. You’re doing such a good thing there.”

  “I keep telling myself that,” he said. “Because all I want to do now is come home. It’s hard to be away from you, Elliott.”

  “I’ll be here, you just keep saving those kids,” I said, delighted that he was really missing me.

  “I wrapped your Christmas present today,” he said – mischievously.

  “Griffen! That’s not fair. I have no idea what to get you, and now this puts the pressure on me,” I said.

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “You don’t need to buy me a thing. I really want just an hour alone with you.”

  I was glad no one could see me blush. But I bet he could hear it.

  “Just one hour?”

  “Is that too much to ask?”

  “Well, it just seems strange that you want to put a time limit on a Christmas gift from me.”

  “Well, then, how about fourteen hours? That leaves you ten for sleeping.”

  “It’s a deal,” I said. “Let me know when you’re back in the country so I can work you onto my dance card.”

  “I’m not sharing you any
more,” he said growling a bit. “Are you going to make me book you now for the rest of your life?”

  “Oh, we’ll see about that,” I said. “Much more water has to pass under this bridge. And, I’ll have to see that present.”

  “Lump of coal,” he said. “Nothing special.”

  “In that case, give me some dates.”

  “Every day in December and January.”

  “When are you coming back?” I said, ignoring his remark.

  “After Christmas. I’ll fly into Jackson, spend a few days with you, I hope, to collect my present, then back to school.”

  I tried to contain the grin but my heart felt like it would explode when he talked about collecting alone time with me.

  “I can give you your present, then,” I said.

  “Fourteen would be great, but I really will settle for just an hour, but it has to be just us,” he said. “No distractions.”

  My head was getting foggy and we were in opposing hemispheres. I told my mother that this was not going well in the judgment department. Why won’t she listen? Where is Grand when I need her in my head? Where has she been? She’s been strangely quiet since Griffen appeared in Scotland.

  “I’ll see what I can do,” I stammered, my heart already thumping in my ears.

  “Perfect. When is the next Delta hunt?” he asked.

  “New Years’ Day,” I said. “Why?”

  “Let’s spend that weekend at my Uncle’s. I really want to take you duck hunting,” he said. “We can foxhunt, too, if the cast is at 10:00.”

  “Really? We can do both?” I said.

  “You bet – my uncle will love this, and he’s been wanting to meet you. I think my cousins and their wives are coming, too, that weekend.”

  “Likewise,” I said, but my stomach gave a little lurch at the thought of meeting his family.

  “We can set it up for you to stay at our neighbor’s camp. They won’t mind, and we’re right next door. I even have a stall for Viva,” he said.

  “That sounds fun,” I said. “You’ll have to give me wardrobe advice… again.”