Antithesis

by Allison Crews

“Not a problem,” he said. “I’m sure we have enough clothes to take care of you at the camp. They’ll probably swallow you, but should work.”

  I did not like the thought of borrowing clothes that would swallow me, but I wanted to be warm, too. I did know that duck hunting is a cold, wet, activity, so probably best to do as the Romans…

  “What are you doing tomorrow?” I asked, hoping to keep him on the phone as long as possible.

  “Back to Buenos Aires and to the orphanage. We may take the kids to a movie, but we are not sure yet,” he said.

  We were both quiet for a moment.

  “I really do miss you,” he said. “No one here seems to need rescuing. It’s too peaceful without you around.”

  “Rescue those boys for now, Griffen,” I said. “They need you. Then come and get me. I’ll be sure to kick up some trouble for you when you return.”

  “I’m counting on it,” he said. “Goodbye.”

  “Goodbye, Griffen,” and the line went dead. I felt like I’d been punched. Two more weeks until I would see him. An eternity.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  Chapter 21 - His Gift

  Hunting with Viva, galloping, galloping, reaching and stretching for more – I could tell she was eager as I, as much exalted with our speed, the air, and the freedom.

  An hour – alone. No distractions. It is amazingly difficult to coordinate such an expedition. The alone part was the challenge.

  Sure, we could drive somewhere in a car, but that’s not exactly being together. Renting a hotel room was too seedy, and I’m not sure even with him on my side, I could stop myself from jumping in way too deep with him in that environment. Plus, this is the South, and we’d have to drive for hours before we could be somewhere that no one knew us – and then, probably a cousin or something would show up and get the wrong idea. Going to the park, even in the wintertime, could be crowded – especially in Mississippi’s mild winters.

  So, it was a good thing that I had two weeks to plan this. If all he wanted was an hour alone with me, then I’d find a way to make that happen. The tricky part was December and an indefinite hour. I finally settled on a picnic at the barn coordinated by Robin. I could rent two horses for the afternoon and ride to a spot that few people ever visited. I’d make us a picnic like the one we had in Scotland and that would be my gift to him.

  Once those details were in place, I could hardly wait for him to arrive. It took all the willpower I had not to badger him into telling me exactly when he would land so I could meet him at the airport. I needed to reserve some semblance of dignity, even if Grand was no longer coaching me in my head. I guess they’ve all abandoned me now and are leaving these decisions up to me when I need them the most. Terrible timing!

  At last, my phone buzzed.

  Will be in Canton in an hour. Hoping to collect my Christmas present. May I buy your dinner? .

  Yes, of course. As long as you choose the place. I’m sure you have what you want in mind already. (I texted him back)

  Absolutely.

  Mother was beside herself, for she had not yet had the chance to see Griffen under these circumstances. Daddy wanted to hear about his trip to Argentina and what he was doing with the kids, but I made them promise not to keep him here longer than absolutely necessary. I was ready to have him all to myself.

  The door rang and Daddy met him, hand outstretched in greeting. “Come on in, Griffen,” he said putting an arm around him and ushering him to the den. “I want to hear all about Argentina, but I expect you’re ready for food. Elliott? Griffen’s here. Griffen, you remember my wife, Lisa.”

  Like I was not holding my breath in anticipation of this moment that I had dreamed about for three weeks... I waited a heartbeat for them to chatter introductions then appeared, and it took all of my self-control to resist leaping into his arms.

  “Good to see you, Griffen.” I said. “Merry Christmas.”

  “Merry Christmas to you, too,” he said, finally in person in his magical voice.

  We were out the door and into his rental car before either of us could be pinned by more questions. I was dying to kiss him but restrained myself. He walked to his side of the car, sat behind the wheel, and leaned towards me. I had to hold my seat to keep from pouncing.

  “Two Rivers?” he asked.

  “Perfect,” I smiled.

  “My Christmas present?” he leaned in a little closer.

  “No, I’ll have that for you tomorrow,” I said trying to remember to breathe. “You said alone, so I didn’t think a restaurant would work.”

  “What did you have in mind?” he smiled and leaned back a little.

  “You’ll see tomorrow around 11:00,” I said. Breathing regulated… for now.

  “Well, I have yours in the back,” he said. “Want it now?”

  Want you, green eyes, but the present will do.

  “Sure!” I said.

  When we pulled into the parking lot, he reached between the seats passing ever so closely beside me…breathe breathe breathe… not helping…he smells so fine…so close.

  “I hope you like it,” he said as he handed it to me.

  The box was about the size of a large shoe box – it was a large shoe box. Shoes? I looked at him quizzically. He grinned.

  Inside the box was a tangle of pale leather. I lifted it out and held it high.

  “A bridle?” I asked. It was intricately hand woven out of what felt like rawhide. “It is beautiful!”

  “I’m glad you like it,” he smiled. “This is what the gauchos use on their horses, and it’s handmade.”

  “Really?” I said. “Did one of the gauchos you met make this?”

  “No, I did,” he said. “They showed me how, and I worked on it all week. It’s for Viva. I hope it fits.”

  “You made my horse a Christmas present!” I said, delighted. “Only I would appreciate your making something for the other woman in your life! Thank you, Griffen. I will treasure this forever.”

  I leaned over for his cheek, and he met me in the middle with his lips. My carefully calculated façade crumbled as he kissed me. All the longing and waiting and wondering vanished as I pulled his face closer to mine. I felt his hands in my hair and forgot everything about my fears…of him…of myself…of what would happen…of who he is. He was here, with me, and nothing else mattered. I felt him pull back, and he held my chin in his hand.

  “Elliott, I missed you. You can’t imagine how much I missed having you with me,” he said in a low, silky tone. “I don’t know how I’m going to stand leaving you tonight after having been away from you so long.”

  “Griffen, you’re delirious,” I said, dizzy myself. “Let’s get you some food.”

  As difficult as it was, we left the car and went into the restaurant. His ritualistic ordering procedures were somewhat rushed tonight, and I smiled to myself.

  “So what do you have in mind for my Christmas present?” he asked, leaning in intently with his piercing eyes.

  “You’ll have to wait until tomorrow,” I said. “I don’t want to ruin the suspense. Besides, I could never top what you made me.”

  “Oh, I bet you can,” he said.

  “You’re making me nervous now, let’s not talk about tomorrow,” I said, feeling like my plans were not going to meet his expectations.

  For the first time, he skipped the appetizers and ordered entrees. I let him pick for me, since I knew I liked everything on the menu. He ordered a glass of red wine for himself and sweet tea for me. We sipped our water and mostly looked at each other…a lot. It felt so good to be close to him again. Some of my neighbors stopped by the table to speak, and I introduced Griffen to them all.

  “We’ll be engaged by Sunday,” I said. “No secrets in Canton. Being on a date with a stranger will make headlines!”

  “Let’s give them something to talk about,” he growled and leaned in dangerously close in spite of the table’s size.

  “Now now, Griffen…”

  Steaming plates
of seafood and steak arrived just in time, and we split the dishes. He had never been here and wanted to taste everything. We ate – in a rush – for Griffen, especially, and I was certain he just wanted to get back to the place we were before… in the parking lot. How ridiculous! But that is all I could think about, too, without thinking about it.

  “Are you sure we can’t open your present, now?” he asked almost   pleadingly and looked intently into my eyes.

  “No way, sorry,” I said, wishing I could come up with a better place for us to be alone. At the same time, it occurred to me that he did not have anywhere to stay.

  “By the way, where are you staying?” As soon as I asked, I regretted it. Then quickly added, “you know we have a guest house – you’re welcome to stay…with us, if you need to. I’m sorry I didn’t mention that earlier.”

  “Thanks, Elliott, but no, I’m staying at the Holiday Inn across the road,” he said.

  Silence. Oh my – what a temptation hung in the air on that one. He met my eyes, and I dropped them to the table.

  Thankfully, the waiter appeared giving me a chance to regain some of my composure, and Griffen requested the check. This had to be a speed record for him at a restaurant, and we had no place to go…really. It was only 8:00 – and I agreed to be home at 11:00.

  “You’re supposed to be home at 11:00 right?” he asked and my stomach clenched. Here we go – he’s going to ask me to that room and what will I say? I want more than anything to go – be alone – but I don’t trust myself to behave in spite of what he promises. I’ll counter with renting a movie or something and watching it at my house. Oh no, I don’t want to do that.

  “Yes.”

  “Plenty of time. I have an idea. Do you trust me?” he asked, eyes glinting with mischief.

  “Not at all,” I said, meaning that I did not trust myself with him, but I could see he was a bit taken aback by the severity of my tone. We were almost to the car. He led me to my door and opened it, indicating for me to get in.

  “Elliott, my dear, what is this sudden distaste for my choices?” he smiled and looked down – very effective in making my heart flutter. I resisted reaching up and grabbing him by the throat and slid obediently into my seat.

  As expected, he turned toward the highway, and I thought he was going to drag me back to his cave – and I shamelessly so wanted him to. And Grand was not even barking orders in my head. Where is she? Then he turned right and headed south on the interstate. I relaxed a little and was now all eyes trying to figure out his next move.

  “I suppose you’re not going to tell me where we’re going?” I asked, relieved that we weren’t going back to his cave…yet.

  “No.”

  “What if I don’t want to go?”

  “You have not mentioned a preference, well, other than you seemed happy enough in the parking lot.”

  “Griffen! That’s not fair.”

  “Mmm. Liked that, did you?”

  “You know I did,” I admitted, not liking where this conversation was headed. I hated feeling so weak when he was with me. I did not like losing the upper hand. This was getting…what? Dangerous? Maybe?

  “Missed me?” He smiled and my heart fluttered again. How can I keep my cool with him so close? I wanted to him to pull over so I could pounce.

  “I still don’t believe you haven’t practiced this for years,” putting a little snap in my remark. Sarcasm was easier than the truth – with him.

  “I’m a natural.”

  “You’re arrogant.”

  “You’re beautiful – even when you’re clean.”

  “Stop that, Griffen, or you will not make it to wherever you plan to take me.”

  “Promise?”

  “Yes.”

  “Beautiful. You are the most interesting, exciting, elegant, and exquisite creature I have ever encountered.”

  “Back away from the steering wheel, Griffen, if you value my life,” I said and pounced.

  He pulled over to the side of the highway, and I kissed him like he kissed me earlier in the parking lot – but this one was all on me. He kissed me back until my lips were tingling. After what seemed like twenty minutes, he gently leaned away steadying my face in his hands, and I wanted to bite him for restraining me. He felt me try and laughed.

  “I do have somewhere I want to take you,” he said huskily. “But if you don’t stop attacking me, I’ll have to take you back to your house.”

  “Threatening me now, are you?”

  “Just making promises I can still keep.”

  “All right. Drive.”

  “We’ve got to have some music. Here’s my iPod. Pick something,” he said.

  I scrolled through his music and was astounded at the selections he had. Little details of his life coming to light – something simple as an iPod shows so much about a person. There were a bunch of songs from bands I loved – Guns ’N Roses, AC/DC, Creed, Crossfade, Three Days Grace, Led Zepplin, Skillet…that’s a pleasant surprise; some really funny country songs, blues, gospel, classical, jazz, 40’s big band music, and bluegrass.

  On a whim, I picked the bluegrass. The somewhat tedious task had me calmer and able to enjoy just being with him as someone who I really liked to talk to and play with. It helped quell the overwhelming magnetism that his presence exuded…especially in this ridiculous little car.

  We turned onto a dark street, and for a moment, I was not sure where we were. Then, it dawned on me…

  “Christmas at the Zoo!” I said, delighted.

  Under thousands of twinkling lights, Griffen and I explored every inch of the zoo at night. I had always heard about this event, but had never thought to go. Actually, I never had anyone ask me to something like this, and it was not something I wanted to do with the girls. The dates I had been on in the past were always just the standard dinnerandamovie and akissgoodnight. Dates with guys in the circle – just circling – never going anywhere. Oxford was a little better, but nothing compared to Griffen. To this.

  It was an enchanted evening that I would treasure forever. I still wanted to kiss him, but having something to do made it much easier just to be with him and hear him tell all about the animals he knew so well. We saw the zoo and each other in such different lights. He was completing me; I could feel him filling up holes in me that I never realized were empty. Now exposed, they only wanted him. How can this be happening so fast? So completely?

  I was exhausted, and so was he when he led me to my door. I braced myself against the wall in case my knees did their customary collapse when I felt his kiss. He tilted my chin to his lips, but didn’t kiss me. Instead, he stroked the tips of his fingers along my jaw. They kept moving until they swept the hair from my neck, and I thought   he was going to lose it when I glared at him in response.

  “You are driving me totally crazy,” I said, barely able to breathe.

  “Yes, I can see that,” he whispered into my neck. I could hear the amusement in his smile as my blush confirmed the effect he was having on me.

  “Arrogant menace.”

  “Beautiful vixen. Goodnight.”

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  Chapter 22 - The Hour

  Ride the horse – go with the horse – whirling in my head. Pulling while leaping predicates disaster.

  Mother was banging around in the kitchen early, so I reluctantly joined her.

  Sleep, of course, had evaded me most of the night. Griffen had me so wound up that I tossed and turned and worried about being with him and living without him. Even when he was gone, I felt like I was being pulled into a whirlwind unable to grasp anything to keep myself from losing all rational judgment concerning him. Maybe Mother could help.

  I plopped onto a stool and let the comforting sounds of her frenzy lull me back to simpler times – when horses were the only things that occupied my mind.

  “Good morning, dear,” she smiled. “I do hope you’ll tell me about last night.”

  So much for horses.

  “We had fu
n,” I said, not smiling.

  Of course, she was on that remark immediately. She put her pots down and sat beside me. Sometimes it was great to be loved…by her. Most of the time it was annoying because she monitored everything regarding her girls with intense focus. I just wanted her to hug me like I was her baby again and tell me everything was going to be fine.

  “Tell me about it,” she said.

  “He made Viva a present,” I said. “A bridle. It’s really pretty.”

  Mother smiled. “He certainly knows what you like,” she said.

  “It scares me,” I said.

  “Honey,” she said, and wrapped her wonderful motherarms around me and hugged. “Enjoy this. Let him show you who he is. You can’t know about Griffen without letting him love you. Don’t start pushing back, unless…”

  “Unless what?” I asked.

  “Unless you sense something wrong,” she said. “Are you afraid of him?”

  “Yes,” I said, “but not really of him. I am afraid of not having

  him around. I don’t think I can be rational around him…any more.”

  She squeezed me tighter and, strangely enough, laughed!

  “Elliott, enjoy this!” she put my face in her hands and kissed me on the nose. “You’re supposed to enjoy dating and enjoy being adored by such a gorgeous young man.”

  “That’s just it, Mother,” I said. “He’s too perfect. How can that be? It’s like we were made for each other, but…”

  “But, what?” she said.

  “I’m still so worried about, you know, all his, well, anger and whether or not he’ll kill me or someone else if he gets mad,” I said and the words sounded ridiculous when I said them.

  “You’ve only been around him a few weeks, Elliott,” she said. “Time is what will tell about him, and you have plenty of that. He’s got a whole semester of school ahead of him at Vanderbilt and you’ll be in Oxford. That is nearly six months before any major decisions about your futures can happen. Relax and enjoy him, dear, while he’s here.”

  “What are you making?” I asked.