A Passionate Spirit

by S. C. Skillman

  Meanwhile, James sat in the far corner chatting to two ladies. No doubt, thought Zoe, they were going over the details of Natasha’s healings, and heaping praise upon her. Natasha herself was nowhere to be seen. Zoe had noticed Natasha was a little erratic in turning up for mealtimes. Perhaps she preferred to remain in the goose house acting out a sinister parody of a mediaeval anchoress in her cell, providing spiritual direction and healing to visitors.

  James now sat with one arm folded in front of him to provide a shelf for his right elbow. His chin rested on his fingers. Zoe’s muscles tensed. She tried to tear her gaze elsewhere and yet it kept being pulled round, as if by an elastic thread, in James’s direction.

  “Great place, this,” said Gareth, shovelling a forkful of potato into his mouth. “I knew last week’s course would be up my street, as painting’s my thing. But hey, am I glad I stayed on for this week, too.”

  “Good to hear that, Gareth,” said Zoe. “It’s given you a chance to try out something different. You haven’t done poetry or calligraphy before, have you?”

  “Nothing to do with that,” he replied. “No, I was thinking about Natasha.”

  “Oh,” said Zoe, her heart sinking.

  “Even if she hadn’t healed me, and that’s mind-blowing enough in itself, she’d still be the most incredible person I’ve ever met,” declared Gareth. His eyes widened as he spoke and his pupils dilated. “What a woman: her voice; her figure; her face!”

  Zoe didn’t respond.

  Gareth continued, undeterred. “And when I talk to her, she listens as no-one else I’ve ever known has done. I feel like the only person in the world when she looks at me. And I know others feel the same.”

  Zoe had put her fork down.

  She thrust her hands into her lap and clenched her fists under the table.

  As the meal drew to a close, bright chatter still filled the air, together with the sound of cutlery clinking against china. Zoe got up and moved to the space in front of the kitchen door. At the other end of the room, Theo also rose and came across to join her.

  Zoe picked up a spoon and tapped it against a glass.

  “A few words, please.” The conversation faded as eyes turned in their direction. “I hope you all enjoyed your lunch.”

  Cutlery banged on tables. Gareth punched the air.

  Zoe smiled. “First, two bits of news: you’ll be glad to know Theo’s doing an extra workshop tonight, after dinner. It’s in the upper room in the barn.”

  “It’s called All That Breathes,” said Theo, “and will be a celebration of creation and the poet, Caedmon.”

  A cheer went up.

  Zoe looked at Alice’s face, visible between the shoulders of Heidi and Cynthia, two tables away from her. She wore a grave expression.

  “Now, one more favour we need to ask of you,” said Theo.

  Sounds lessened, though three guests still clattered cutlery against their plates.

  “We’re hoping someone may be able to help us. A few items are missing from the ceramics cupboard in the studio. The cobalt-blue communion set: the jug, the large plate, and both goblets. We wondered whether there’s been some misunderstanding. Bernie has the only other spare set of keys.”

  Theo stopped. Zoe took over from him.

  “Does anyone know what’s happened to the set?”

  All eyes fixed on her. Zoe’s face blushed beet-red. She began to stammer.

  Theo came to the rescue.

  “We’re not accusing anybody.”

  “Oh no,” said Zoe. “We just want to know if anyone’s seen the missing stuff.”

  Whispers began to arise. Zoe saw the expressions shift on faces around the room. Smiles faded. Glances flicked to left and right. She bit her lip.

  “No? Nobody knows anything?” said Theo.

  Zoe wanted to throw her arms round Theo and comfort him, but didn’t move. It was as if they’d both strayed onto quicksand and begun to sink.

  “It’s OK,” said Zoe. “No worries.”

  “Finish your lunch, everyone,” said Theo. “First afternoon session doesn’t start till two o’clock. We meet in the barn.”

  The guests finished their meal in silence. The good humour and relaxed atmosphere had vanished, along with something precious which Zoe knew to be much more important than the recovery of missing items. In their place was a forcefield that resisted her body with every move. She glanced around, half-expecting that Natasha had come in. But there was no sign of the healer. And then, she told herself, if Natasha had entered, she’d know straightaway by the guests’ reaction.

  Zoe located James once more. He was sipping coffee with his little finger crooked. She felt something wringing her out. There was no way he could be involved, and yet…She shuddered. James’s eyes met hers. They gleamed. She scurried through the doorway into the kitchen.

  “Everything OK, Zoe?” said Miles.

  “No,” said Zoe, and shared with him what had happened.

  “I’m sure you misunderstood their reaction,” said Miles. “They would all have known you had to ask.”

  The door opened and Alice came in.

  “How are you; OK?”

  “No. Oh God, we made a hash of it. Or at least, I did.”

  “Nonsense. You were fine.”

  Zoe shook her head. “Judging by today’s performance… load of good I’d be as an actress, wouldn’t I?”

  “Rubbish. Don’t make this personal,” said Miles.

  “They all acted like I’d accused them of theft.”

  “No they didn’t. Stop worrying about it.”

  But Zoe stood, gripping her upper arms, and she cast her eyes down so neither Alice nor Miles could see her tears.

  “I’m calling an emergency team meeting,” said Theo. “In the office. Are you able to join us too, Alice?”

  “Yeah, that should be all right,” said Alice.

  A couple of minutes later, Bernie put the Closed for half an hour notice up outside the reception door then locked it behind him, and they all seated themselves.

  “Sorry, Theo, can I ask why James is with us?” said Griff.

  “Ah,” said Theo, “that’s because James has shared some information about Natasha with me, which is relevant to this.”

  Zoe tried to catch Alice’s eye. But she was looking at James.

  A sense of dread welled up in Zoe.

  “We all know a number of incidents have happened here in the last few days,” said Theo.

  His audience remained still and silent.

  “And we’ve dealt with things as they’ve arisen, as best we can. Cynthia’s fall downstairs was our first shock. That was Saturday night. Then on Sunday there was the damage to the barn window; and we still don’t know who threw the stone. Or what’s happened to the communion set. That’s been missing since yesterday morning. Of course, nothing else may happen. And those three events may prove random pieces of bad luck.”

  James crossed one leg over the other and tapped his fingers against his knee.

  “Sometimes,” said Theo, “when negative things happen, there’s no message; it’s just life. But I’ve an instinct something deeper’s going on here.”

  Zoe moistened her lips, but made no comment.

  “In addition,” said Theo, “both Alice and Zoe have recently met a small child who then vanished. And they found that disturbing. I make no assumptions: I just mention it. And I don’t necessarily connect these events. I’m simply listing them.”

  “But then, Theo,” broke in Griff, “we also have Natasha here, and that’s good, isn’t it?”

  “Good?” repeated Zoe, her heart pounding.

  Griff stared at her.

  “Of course,” he said. “Everyone loves her. And she has the most amazing healing gift.”

  “Yes,” said Theo hastily, “and it may be true that God is using her. I’ve now heard several guests call her a miracle worker; and an angel. But even so…”

  “I think that answers all your concerns,
Theo,” began James. “You’ve no need to…”

  “Nevertheless,” broke in Theo, “I believe we must agree on a new way forward. And I’ve made a decision.”

  Zoe flushed with relief. Now Theo had acknowledged something deeper was going on, she felt a great burden had been lifted from her. On the other hand, two fresh doubts gnawed at her. Firstly, she was unconvinced by the reason he’d given for including James in this discussion. As a guest, James had no place at a team meeting. Theo was acting as if he trusted him. And secondly, Theo still seemed to think it possible that God was using Natasha. Zoe felt sick thinking about it. And yet, she tried to persuade herself, Theo surely knew what he was doing.

  Meanwhile, Alice, Bernie and Griff all kept their eyes fixed on Theo. Zoe couldn’t wait to hear his decision. She shot a glance at James. He looked as if he was paying his respects at the house of a deceased relative.

  “I propose to hold a house blessing,” said Theo.

  Zoe started.

  “A house blessing?” asked Alice.

  “A sacramental act for a place which attracts negative events,” said Theo. “It may include prayer, the sprinkling of blessed water and the signing of a cross on doors.”

  “Natasha will do that for us,” said Griff.

  “No she won’t. I’ll do it,” said Theo.

  Zoe felt numb inside. Theo hadn’t said it, but the word exorcism was written in letters of blood across her mental screen.

  Bernie and Griff exchanged puzzled glances. A chill gripped Zoe’s fingers, and spread up her arms, before trickling down through her throat, her chest and her belly. James gave her a piercing look.

  “You all right, Zoe?” asked Theo.

  “Y-yes. But… which parts of the house will you do?”

  She inclined to think he should be focusing on James and Natasha, not the house. Then she chided herself. Next, she’d be imagining Theo holding a cross up to them both and hanging garlic from the beams wherever they went!

  To the eye of the superficial observer, James cut an immaculate and impressive figure, and had been charming and courteous, despite occasional flashes of arrogance. Meanwhile, Natasha had enchanted everyone – except Alice and Zoe. And several guests thought she was on a hotline to a higher power, at the very least. Certainly Zoe had no hope of convincing anyone otherwise without giving them cause to doubt her own state of mind.

  “Good question,” said Theo. “It would be a bit of an overreaction to do every single room. So I suggest we concentrate on the studio where the ceramics went missing, the staircase where Cynthia fell, and the barn where the window was smashed.”

  “Thank you, Theo,” James said in a slightly sardonic tone of voice. “Your plan sounds admirable. Glad to see you tackling the problem on a spiritual level.”

  Zoe frowned at him. She considered he had no right to pass comment. She sprang to her feet.

  “James, you…” she began then started coughing. Theo came across behind her desk, and rubbed her on the back.

  “All right?” he murmured.

  Zoe nodded. She felt agitated. She didn’t dare look at James. And she tried not to think of Natasha.

  “When will you start, Theo?” asked James.

  “And will you involve the other guests?” asked Zoe.

  “No,” said Theo, “only those who feel comfortable with what I’m doing. Several won’t, and I respect that. I’d like to do it straightaway. But the workshop starts in twenty minutes so we’ll do it after that finishes. I’m sorry you won’t be here at that time, Alice. But Griff, Bernie, Zoe – meet me at the front door at four thirty.”

  Zoe swallowed hard. All the other people in the room grew dim, except James, whose silhouette – in Zoe’s eyes – held an unnatural intensity and darkness. Zoe’s fingers tingled as she tried to visualise the house blessings Theo proposed. So, he did believe these bad events had a spiritual cause. Psychic influence lay behind them.

  On the face of it, the worst she could say of James for certain was that he showed a disturbing tendency to muscle in on the work of the centre staff, rather than behaving like a guest. But as for Natasha: with her around, Zoe doubted that the house blessings would have any positive effect at all. She didn’t believe they’d lift Theo out of his low mood. Nor did she suppose, even for a second, that they’d put her own mind at rest regarding Natasha. Rather, she suspected the opposite.

  All the time a dark undercurrent reminded her that her opinion of Natasha ran counter to everyone else’s. She only had Alice’s instincts to justify this. And if she was wrong, and everyone else was right… she feared she might be going mad. Theo began the blessings at four thirty that afternoon as promised. Griff, Bernie, Miles, Natasha, James and two other guests joined Theo and Zoe at the front door. Theo led them into the entrance hall and blessed the staircase Cynthia had fallen down. From there, they all filed through to the office, where Theo meant to add another blessing. They couldn’t all get in, but Theo stood in the doorway and they heard his words.

  “Bless the work done here,” began Theo, “so it reflects the peace and order of creation. Bless the relationships between the people who work here. Bring a spirit of respect and gentleness and courtesy.”

  At this, one of the guests wiped tears away from her face. Zoe glanced at James. His lips curved but his expression remained serious.

  They then walked across the courtyard to the barn, where Theo blessed the window that had been broken and the place from which they guessed the stone had been thrown.

  Natasha stood apart from everyone else. Zoe noticed the expression in her eyes kept changing. In one moment, they flared with light. In the next, they clouded over, a lake beneath a stormy sky. Then they found Zoe, and focused on her, with an intensity that was almost like a knife-thrust.

  Fidgeting, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, Zoe broke out into a cold sweat.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Theo finished the blessings at the front door. He stood with the door open, while guests and staff gathered round him in a semicircle.

  “I bless this house, built upon the rock of rocks, the rock of Christ; no onslaught will undermine it, and no ill winds unsettle it. The guardian angel will welcome all who enter this place and repel all that would harm it.”

  He raised a small jug and sprinkled water from it on the door, then made the sign of the cross upon it with his finger.

  Zoe watched Natasha. The healer’s eyes were now fixed on Theo. Zoe shivered. Then Natasha’s concentration on Theo cut out and switched back to Zoe. At once Zoe felt like a vole targeted by a kestrel wheeling overhead. She recoiled and nearly lost her balance.

  “Are you all right, Zoe?” asked Miles. “What happened there?”

  “No idea,” she said. “But I’m fine, thanks.” She pasted a smile onto her face, and hoped he didn’t notice the tremor in her voice. She turned back to Theo, who looked ready to collapse. She grasped his arm to steady him.

  James too had noticed.

  “You know, Theo,” he remarked, “I think the blessings have exhausted you. Sometimes, I imagine, intense prayer can do this. When people become open and vulnerable through prayer, they can lay themselves bare to all sorts of influences. In this case, I think it’s nervous strain. A lot’s been going on around here, hasn’t it, in the last couple of days?”

  Zoe’s jaw dropped. James’s patronizing tone had caught her unawares. She itched to slap James’s face, but knew it would do no good. She dropped her hand to her side and Theo put his arm round her.

  “Come along, Zoe,” he said. “It’s getting colder now. Let’s go inside. Come into the library with me and we’ll sit down for a few minutes and relax.”

  The last thing Zoe saw, before Natasha allowed James to guide her along the path through the conifers to the goose house, was Natasha’s face. It seemed to sway in and out of focus. Zoe felt as if she was viewing it through a gauze screen. Then James and Natasha disappeared from view. The others, too, had now started to dispers
e.

  “Come on, Zoe; the library,” said Theo.

  “Good idea.”

  Once inside the library, with the door closed behind them, they went to sit on the sofa. Zoe took one end and Theo, turning towards her, searched her face.

  “I can see you’re not happy. What more do you expect of me, Zoe? I’ve done my very best.”

  “No you haven’t,” she said. “The best thing you could do is throw Natasha out.”

  He frowned. Then he took her hand in his and held it tight. At this, a wave of love and remorse swept through her. She drew a deep breath. Surely, this was her chance to pour out her fears about Theo and Natasha. But she couldn’t bring herself to accuse him.

  Instead, she said, “James is bad news. And Natasha’s much, much worse.”

  “Now, come on, Zoe…” he protested. “How can you possibly say that?”

  “Nothing bad happened before they came.”

  “It may seem so,” he said, “but remember, we’ve had our setbacks in the past. And now we’ve done the house blessings, we must trust that we’ll have the protection we’ve asked for.”

  “I don’t believe we will.”

  A line appeared on Theo’s forehead.

  “It’s Natasha and her healings, isn’t it?” he said. “You’re still worried about how she does it.”

  “That’s right. I am. And I can’t seem to get through to you. Why don’t you see how dangerous she is?”

  “Dangerous?” He looked perplexed.

  “Yes,” insisted Zoe, her heart pounding. “Natasha isn’t ‘normal’. And it’s not just the healings. It’s everything about her; but if you want to start with the healings… I don’t believe they come from God. Not by a long way.”

  Theo’s eyes widened.

  “You believe she’s using occult power?” he said.

  She nodded, released her hand from his and folded her arms tight.

  “Look,” said Theo, “if she was, I’d know about it. I’ve come up against it a few times in my ministry – we’re talking physical manifestations.”