Searching Hearts Box Set: Books 1-5

by St. Clair, Ellie

  She collapsed onto the floor, just as the sound of a pistol shot reached her ears. There was no pain, no scream of injury. Instead, there was the sound of splintering wood, of running feet and shouting voices.

  And then there were strong hands reaching for her, helping her to sit up. Dazed, Christina recognized that her husband was the one holding her.

  “Daniel!” she breathed, closing her eyes as tears began to pour into her vision. “You’re safe.”

  “As are you,” he murmured, pulling her into his arms. “Thank goodness you are all right. For a moment there I thought I would lose you.”

  Movement at the door caught her eye, and Christina watched as Lord Hudson attempted to block the exit. It was at that moment, however, she heard a voice that made her cringe. Christina had completely forgotten about Beatrice’s visit, and her timing could not have been worse.

  “Christina? Are you here?” came Beatrice’s melodic voice from outside of the hallway. “The door was ajar and no servants were in sight, so I let myself in.” She walked through the doorway, just as Christina began to call out to her to stay back. “Are you well to—oh!”

  She came to a halt, her eyes wide as she surveyed the scene in front of her. Lord Northcliffe pulled a second pistol from his waistband, pointing it at Beatrice, and despair coursed through Christina. Do not let Beatrice be hurt by this, she prayed.

  “Lady Beatrice!” Lord Hudson said desperately — too desperately, it seemed, as Lord Northcliffe looked from him to Beatrice with a gleam in his eye.

  “Out of my way, Hudson, or say farewell to the woman here.”

  Christina could see the dismay on the face of Lord Hudson, but he could do nothing except step out of the way. As Lord Northcliffe rushed out of the room, Lord Hudson put his arms on Beatrice’s shoulders, saying something softly to her, before rushing out after Lord Northcliffe.

  Christina felt completely helpless, but for the moment, she focused on Daniel’s presence. Lord Hudson would catch him, she told herself. He had to — for until he was caught, this ordeal would never be over.

  20

  “We’ve found him.”

  Daniel spun around on hearing Lord Hudson’s voice, staring at his friend for a moment before letting out a sigh of relief. It had been a couple of hours since he’d left, chasing after the man.

  “He’s meant to be on his way to Scotland, but he’s holed up in some inn just outside of London,” Hudson continued, coming a little farther into the room and making his way straight toward the brandy tray. “Whoever or whatever he’s waiting for hasn’t shown up, and my guess is he can’t carry on without it.”

  Daniel’s heart jumped with exaltation as the urge to go straight to wherever Lord Northcliffe was hiding pushed him into action.

  “He should never have been able to escape in the first place,” he said, as Hudson handed him a brandy. “However, Lady Beatrice—”

  “Had she not arrived when she did, perhaps this would all be over,” Daniel said with some bitterness in his voice.

  Hudson faced him with consternation on his face. “Or, perhaps, I would have been over. Had Lady Beatrice not distracted Northcliffe, you could have been attending my funeral.” He took a sip of his drink. “It’s just as well we have a few men on hand. They’ve been following him since he left the house. It means we can do this properly.”

  But I don’t want to do this properly.

  That was the problem that now faced Daniel. He had no intention of handing Lord Northcliffe into the authorities, not now. Not when the man had been so close to robbing him of his wife. No, if he found Lord Northcliffe, it would be to end his life in the same way he’d tried to end Christina’s.

  “Is something wrong, Ravenhall?”

  Daniel shook his head. “No.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Aware that his friend knew him well, Daniel drew in a long breath and took a hearty sip of his brandy before replying.

  “Hudson, seeing Lord Northcliffe threatening my wife has driven back that anger into my blood,” he said, eventually. “I do not intend to allow the man to live.”

  Hudson’s eyes narrowed.

  “For heaven’s sake, he was about to murder Christina!” Daniel exclaimed upon Lord Hudson’s grimace. “That would be the second love he’d have taken away from me!”

  Lord Hudson raised one eyebrow, a slow smile spreading across his face as the words Daniel had spoken seemed to echo around the room. Daniel colored at once, not only realizing what he’d had said but also that it was too late to take it back.

  “My, my,” Lord Hudson murmured softly. “So this is it, is it? How interesting. You can finally admit you care for your wife.”

  “No,” Daniel said, brusquely, turning away from his friend. “No, not in that way.”

  “Ravenhall,” came Hudson’s reply. “You are allowed to be in love with your wife, as I am sure I have said to you before. Why do you insist on pushing her away from you? You have already admitted it to me. You cannot continue to ignore such a depth of feeling.”

  Letting out a long breath, Daniel set down his brandy glass and leaned on his study table, looking down at the sheaf of paper there. He did not see anything but Christina’s face, caught up as he was in the memory of how she’d looked when he’d seen her with Lord Northcliffe.

  His heart had torn open, become a yawning chasm that he could not ignore. It was an abyss he had not filled in years, choosing to descend into darkness and to ignore the happiness another might bring.

  He had not looked at any other lady since Laura, had only married because he had been forced into the match. But on seeing Christina so afraid, so close to a tragedy, he had felt something break free of the chains he’d placed around it.

  He loved his wife.

  “Ravenhall, I must consider this a good thing,” Lord Hudson continued when he didn’t say anything. “Do not turn away from it now. Allow yourself to love her without feeling any of the guilt I know you have burdened yourself with for too long.”

  Daniel frowned, opening his mouth to refute his friend’s statement but finding he could not do so.

  The truth was, he did feel guilty about forgetting Laura. That was why he had left Christina’s bed after giving himself to her so completely. He could not even recall Laura’s face, could not remember the feeling that he’d always considered to be so overwhelming when her memory had come to mind. The feelings he had for Christina — well, they were stronger than any he had ever known before, and that created a guilt that tore at his soul.

  “I should not be so forgetful,” he grated, his head now hanging low.

  “She is gone and you need to let her go,” Lord Hudson replied, his voice firm. “You have dwelt on this for years, Ravenhall, but instead of finding healing, you have allowed it to build guilt and pain and sorrow within you. Now Christina has come into your life, and you refuse to give her the one thing she wants because your guilt will not allow you to do so.” Daniel looked up and caught Hudson smiling gently. “I know she cares for you, Ravenhall. You are in doubt about that yourself, I think. If you leave Laura in the past, no one will condemn you. It is only you who stands in judgment upon yourself, as foolish as that sounds. Leave the past in the past and focus on the future.”

  “On Christina,” Daniel breathed, nodding slowly as he walked around the table and sat down in an overstuffed chair, facing the fire.

  “Yes,” Lord Hudson chuckled, his smile broadening. “On Christina. Goodness knows you have both been through more than enough to look forward to a bit of a quiet life.”

  That did not bring a smile to Daniel’s face. He could not have a quiet life, as Hudson put it, not when Northcliffe remained a threat.

  “I mean to mete out punishment, Hudson,” he said, firmly. “When we find Lord Northcliffe, he will receive no mercy from me. The man deserves to die.”

  Lord Hudson raised his eyebrows. “That is not what I expected to hear from you, Daniel. This morning, you were speaking o
f a plan to make him confess. You know the views of your wife — how will she feel if she knows what you have done?”

  Daniel shook his head. “My plan was formed before he entered my home and tried to kill Christina. There is nothing but evil in that man. I will punish him for what he did and what he tried to do. There are consequences he must face.”

  “And you think you are the one to bring him down to the grave?” Lord Hudson asked, calmly.

  Daniel shook his head. “For once, I shall be the executioner. That is all.”

  A quiet knock came to the door of his study and, before he could call out, it opened and in stepped Christina.

  She was looking rather tired and pale, but her eyes were bright and there was no longer any trembling in her limbs.

  “Christina,” Daniel said at once, getting to his feet and hurrying over to her. “You should be resting.”

  “I am quite well, I thank you,” she replied, with a soft edge of steel to her voice. “The maid told me of Lord Hudson’s arrival, and I had to know what had been done.”

  Daniel offered her his arm, and a tremble shot through him as she took it, though she kept her gaze ahead of her and not upon his face.

  Goodness, she was beautiful.

  “Have you made any progress, Lord Hudson?” she asked, as Daniel seated her by the fire. “Have you found Lord Northcliffe?”

  Hudson cleared his throat and got up from his chair in the corner of the room to draw closer to Christina. “Yes. We have. It appears the men we use to help us find those who require our help are also rather good at following a criminal.”

  Daniel watched Christina closely, seeing how she swallowed hard as she nodded, her hands tightening together as she held them in her lap.

  She was more affected than she wanted them to see.

  “You need not fear anymore, Christina,” he said, softly, reaching for her hand and holding it tightly in his own. “We are to set out for him once it is dark.”

  Her eyes caught his, confused. “Dark?”

  He nodded. “Northcliffe is at an inn only two hours’ ride from London,” he explained. “We think he is to go to Scotland but something has held him up. The road will be well lit by the full moon, and so we shall go under cover of night to take him by surprise.”

  She held his gaze for a moment, and Daniel’s breath caught in his chest at the deep emotions in her eyes, though her look was troubled, which he wondered about.

  “I haven’t told you everything that Lord Northcliffe said to me,” she said, in a somewhat tremulous voice. “He told me that if he had to, he would go to Scotland, to hide there so that he could not easily be found or convicted.”

  Daniel listened with growing anger as Christina recounted the words Lord Northcliffe had said to her. The arrogant fool had apparently believed he would be able to kill Christina and leave her body for Daniel to find, and seemed to have told her everything, believing she would never have the chance to speak the truth aloud.

  Anger began to burn again, growing all the hotter as Christina continued to speak.

  “There is something else,” she said, and he noted the way she twisted her fingers in her lap. “He was quite adamant about the fact that he wanted to kill me because you had taken Miss Churston from him, Daniel. Not that you had taken her love, but rather, he seemed to think that you were the one who killed her.”

  The room went completely silent for a moment as Daniel took in her words. He clenched his fists in anger that Northcliffe had not only sought to take Christina from him but had attempted to turn her against him in the process.

  “Do you believe him?” he finally asked, and when she raised her head to look at him, he saw the turmoil in her face.

  “No,” she said, though her words lacked conviction.

  His heart fell as anguish washed over him.

  “No,” she repeated with more determination, peering into his face; he must have worn the question in his expression. “I do not believe you would take the life of an innocent woman,” she said firmly.

  “But?”

  “But I did believe him when he said he didn’t kill her,” she said softly. “He told me she had arrived at your home to tell you that she was running off with him to be married. He said…” She hesitated, as if not wanting to share anything further with him.

  “What did he say, Christina?” he demanded, rather than asked.

  “He said that she only agreed to marry you because her father had learned of your affection for her and much preferred that she marry a future duke. That she still loved Northcliffe and they had a plan to be together. She came to your townhouse that night to tell you of this.”

  Daniel got to his feet and began to pace the room, unable to meet the sympathetic gazes trained on him by Lord Hudson and Christina. He wanted to deny all that she said, to tell her Northcliffe had simply been playing with her emotions, been turning her against him. And yet, as much turmoil as he felt, his mind began to review the logic of what she said. He thought back to his relationship with Laura, to the times they had together. She always had a quiet demeanor, a gentleness he found endearing. But what had he really known of her? For all these years, he had thought he loved her and she him in turn, but when he recalled the times they had run into Lord Northcliffe, he recalled the warm smile that had crossed her face, the jealousy that had tugged at his heart. Was there something more there, something he had missed, that perhaps he hadn’t wanted to see?

  “I’m sorry, Daniel,” she said in almost a whisper. “I know not what to say, what to believe—”

  “So you would believe him, a man you hardly know, who threatened to kill you, over your own husband?” he seethed, allowing the more familiar anger to overcome him. All else he thought and felt shriveled in the face of fresh hurt now that he had recognized his deep feelings toward her. She put a hand on his arm, and he shook it off in disgust. “Come, Hudson, it is time we go. Christina, we will be returning to London shortly, though Lord Northcliffe will not.”

  Her eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I have no intention of letting the man go,” he said, calmly and reasonably. “After what he did to Laura and what he was about to do to you, I cannot let him live.”

  Christina stared at him for a long moment, her eyes filling with tears. “No, Daniel,” she said, her voice quiet and filled with horror. “No, you cannot do this. It will haunt you forever.”

  “So be it,” he said, filled with a determination to do just that. “I am the one he has injured. I am the one he chose to attack. I should, therefore, be the one to bring an end to all of this.”

  She shook her head, and one of the tears pooling in her eyes spilled over and flowed down her cheek.

  He grieved the loss of her affection toward him, her belief in him, and his heart ached with a sudden, furious pain. How could she not see that he had to do this? That he had to be the one to bring an end to the agony he’d been forced to endure these last few years, that he could never move forward until he had done so?

  “Do not ask me to step away from this,” he said, haltingly. “I cannot do that, Christina. I must bring Lord Northcliffe’s last judgment upon him.”

  She looked back at him steadily, her tears gone as her lips drew into a long, thin line. “And who made you judge and jury?” she asked, firmly. “Who brought you out as executioner? You have suffered, yes, but you are better than him, Daniel. You are not like Lord Northcliffe in any way!”

  Daniel curled his hand into a fist, the fingernails biting into the soft skin of his palm. “I must do this.”

  “No,” she said, getting up from her chair in a flurry of skirts. “No, you are choosing to do this, Daniel. You are choosing to take on a role you have no right to bear. This pain will never lift, not if you kill the man responsible. Not if you become what he is.”

  “She is right,” Hudson murmured, lifting one eyebrow.

  Daniel clenched his jaw.

  “You cannot let him do this, Hudson
!” Christina exclaimed, holding her hands up in a gesture of helplessness. “How can you let him go when you know what he will do?”

  Hudson gave her a sad smile. “Because I must. I swore to help him find the man, and so I will. What he does once he finds him is his responsibility.” He turned his gaze toward Daniel, shaking his head. “Although I confess I miss the man I once knew all those years ago. I have stayed by your side, Daniel, and I have seen the pain you have carried for as many years, but I no longer know this murderous, villainous man standing in front of me.”

  “Then you are right. You do not know me. For I am exactly that kind of man!” Daniel shouted, throwing himself from his chair, his eyes blazing with fury. “I am the kind of man who wants restitution for what he has suffered! I am the kind of man who seeks justice for the crimes committed against him! I am the kind of man who wants to, finally, put this to rest.”

  His words echoed around the room, bouncing off the walls as he struggled to draw in a breath, his anger and fury burning so hotly he feared he could not contain it.

  “Then I will not be here when you return,” Christina said, her quiet voice drawing his attention and bringing his anger down to nothing more than a sputtering flame. “I love you, Daniel, I do, but I cannot accept this, not when there is another way. I will not be present when the authorities come for you, when they arrest you for killing another man in cold blood.”

  He laughed at her, his frustration covering the pain that coursed through him over the fact she would not accept him if he followed through with what he must do, despite his love for her. “I am a marquess, Christina, a future duke. Should they come for me, then I will explain all to them. I will tell them exactly what he did to me, to my first love, and then to my wife. I shall not be held.”

  “Daniel…” she said softly, her eyes sparkling with tears. “If you are set free, you will simply live in an imprisonment of your own doing, of knowing who you have become.”

  Daniel did not say anything, his words turning to sand as she stepped past him, her fingers brushing his hand as she passed.