Searching Hearts Box Set: Books 1-5

by St. Clair, Ellie

  “Goodbye, Daniel,” she murmured, one hand on the door handle as she looked back at him. “I shall have my things sent to your country estate this very night and shall not be here when you return. I shall go to my father’s townhouse for the evening and pray fervently that you will not do this reckless act.” She gave him a small smile, just as a single tear trickled down her cheek. “I will pray that you will prove yourself to be a better man than that. That you will be the man I know you can be, not the one who throws all he has away simply to bring a veil of justice over all that he has experienced.”

  Tears fell from her eyes like rain as she watched him, her smile remaining steady regardless. “Be the man I love. The one I can trust.”

  The door closed behind her, and Daniel felt his heart go with her, leaving him an empty shadow of a man.

  21

  Daniel leaped from his mount’s back before the creature came to a complete halt, tossing the reins to the stable hand who was hiding a yawn behind his loosely clenched fist. Daniel did not care about the hour, not when he could finally get his hands on Lord Northcliffe.

  “Ravenhall,” Hudson said, firmly. “Hold for a moment.”

  Daniel drew in a long breath and turned around just as his friend dismounted behind him.

  “This is as far as I will come,” Hudson said, as the stable hand led away the second horse. “I will come into the inn, of course, to guard the door, but I will not be part of whatever it is you have planned.”

  Daniel stared at his friend for a moment, seeing the steadiness of Hudson’s gaze.

  “You are quite serious!” he exclaimed, completely taken aback. “But why, Hudson? I know you disapprove of my plan but—”

  Hudson nodded. “That is it precisely.”

  A spurt of anger flooded Daniel’s heart. “Then why help me at all?”

  “Because I promised I would,” came the calm reply. “I always said that I would help you, Ravenhall, to find the man responsible for such a terrible crime. Even though the authorities had nothing to hold him on, I had always presumed that we would mete out justice in another way. Your anger has turned murderous.”

  Daniel let out a long, frustrated breath. “I am not murderous, Hudson.”

  Hudson snorted. “Yes, you are. Perhaps you could take this gentleman down through taking away his financial gains, by finding a way to discredit him, by forcing him to live quietly without all the things he so clearly loves in society? You said yourself you wanted to find a way to make the man confess before handing him to the authorities. Now, those thoughts are gone.”

  He shrugged, helplessly. “I have seen what you have done in the past, Ravenhall, but I thought that Christina’s words and her very presence in your life would bring some sense to your troubled heart, that reason would enter your scope of view, but it seems I was mistaken.” He reached forward and put one firm hand on Daniel’s shoulder. “I cannot go with you any farther, Ravenhall. Whatever you do, you will do it without a witness. I cannot be a party to it. Besides that, I have my own plans for my future, and I cannot allow this to affect them.”

  “Your own future?” Daniel repeated, a little surprised. “You have never spoken of such things before.”

  “That is because I have never felt such stirring emotions for a lady before,” Hudson replied, frankly. “Lady Beatrice shall be my bride if I can persuade her somehow and, since I shall have no requirement to help you in your search for Lord Northcliffe any longer, I intend to focus my time on her. Not that I plan to drop the work you started in aiding those seeking justice, but that shall no longer be my primary focus. I cannot allow you to alter my plans. I have my own happiness to think of now.”

  For a moment, Daniel was stunned. It sounded as though Hudson was almost resentful of him, as though his friend were frustrated that their search was to come to such an end.

  “You don’t understand,” he said, hoarsely. “I must do this.”

  “No,” Lord Hudson replied, his voice firm. “You are choosing to do this. And the consequences of which will not only affect you but will also affect your wife, the woman you have only just declared yourself to love, whom you have not yet informed of the fact.” He shrugged, gesturing toward the inn. “But this is your own decision, Ravenhall.”

  Daniel shook his head, his limbs suddenly feeling wooden and heavy. “I don’t understand,” he said, thickly. “If you are so against this, then why aren’t you trying to stop me?”

  Hudson gave him a small, sad smile. “I am, in my own way. However, it was not my bride-to-be that was shot, not my heart broken. It was not my wife that was threatened with death, not her cries that broke my heart. Lord Northcliffe has done nothing to injure me, so I cannot fully understand your anger. I will try with my words to prevent you from doing what I think to be wrong, but you are ultimately responsible for your own actions. I will not try and stop you from entering the inn, Ravenhall.”

  Daniel lifted his chin, choosing to stride forward and away from Hudson without hesitating. He did not look back at his friend, even though he felt his presence behind him. His heart began to quicken wildly in his chest as he opened the door to the inn. Only a few drunken patrons sat at the tables while the innkeeper glowered at him from behind the counter.

  As he walked toward the innkeeper, Daniel’s body coiled with tension. He was only a short distance away from his quarry. Somewhere near, Lord Northcliffe was waiting.

  “I need to speak with a gentleman who came here earlier today,” he said, pulling out a sheaf of notes from his pocket. “I will make it worth your while not to notice my presence here.”

  The innkeeper’s glower disappeared at once. “Of course,” he murmured, taking the money. “You’ll be looking for a fine gentleman, then?”

  “Yes.”

  The innkeeper rubbed his chin. “Only got one of them here this evening. A Lord Norcourt, I believe.”

  The name did not disconcert Daniel in any way. It was not as though Northcliffe would give the man his real name. “And where might he be?”

  “Upstairs,” the innkeeper replied, jerking his head toward the narrow staircase. “The last door on your left.” His sharp eyes turned back toward Daniel. “Although I’d guess the door will be good and bolted.”

  Daniel frowned. “Then is there a key?”

  The innkeeper raised one eyebrow, chuckling when Daniel sighed and pulled out a few coins.

  “Very good, my lord,” he grinned, pocketing the lot. “Here’s the key. I won’t say nothing.”

  Daniel took the solid key in his hand and looked down at it for a moment, his breathing already quickening.

  “Thank you,” he said, firmly. “I’ll be sure to return it.”

  The innkeeper shrugged, turning away from him. “Just leave it in the lock. The less I see of you the better.”

  At least we agree about that, Daniel thought, as he turned back to the staircase, making sure to ignore Lord Hudson, who was now leaning against the wall by the front door. He did not want to look at his friend for fear that his resolve would die out, the heaviness in his heart growing all the more as he climbed each step.

  This was not what he’d thought he would feel like, knowing that Lord Northcliffe was only a few meters away. Daniel had believed he would be exuberant, filled with energy and a deep focus but, instead, his heart was heavy with a growing weight of guilt and shame.

  Christina came to his mind, her eyes sparkling with tears as she looked at him, and Daniel was forced to catch his breath, leaning on the rail. It was as though she was right there with him, urging him not to do what he intended.

  “I have to,” he muttered out loud, as though speaking to her, and he forced one foot in front of the other. “I have to do this. It’s the only way.”

  Locating the last door on the left, Daniel paused for a moment to steady his breath, closing his eyes tightly. Slowly putting the key in the lock in an attempt to make as little noise as possible, he turned it carefully, wincing as it squeaked.r />
  Then, with as much strength as he could, he flung the door open and stormed inside, one hand pulling the pistol from his belt.

  “Northcliffe!” he shouted, as the man jumped from his chair, scrambling backward in shock. “You’re not going to be able to escape this time.”

  There was nothing but fear and resentment in Lord Northcliffe’s eyes. Gone was the mocking smile, the confident gaze, the grin of delight over Daniel’s upset. Instead, the man appeared weak, thin, and afraid.

  It bolstered Daniel’s courage.

  Smirking, Daniel closed the door behind him and leaned against it for a moment. Lord Northcliffe’s eyes darted about the room.

  “There’s no escape, I’m afraid,” Daniel said slowly, spotting the window and knowing that the man wouldn’t jump to the ground for fear of death. “You’re not going anywhere, Northcliffe. Not to Scotland, like you’d planned.”

  Lord Northcliffe’s lip curled.

  “That wife of yours was never meant to survive,” he grated, a flicker of determination coming back into his gaze. “I thought I’d shot her.”

  “You didn’t,” Daniel replied, calmly, waving his pistol at Lord Northcliffe. “She is very much alive and told me everything. She’s the witness to your confession, Lord Northcliffe. There’s nothing left for you now.”

  Lord Northcliffe eyes glittered. “And so you’ve come to kill me, is that it?”

  Daniel shrugged. “Perhaps.” It wasn’t what he’d been intending to say, but then again, he’d not been quite certain how he’d react when faced with this man again.

  “Then do it,” Lord Northcliffe replied, sitting down on the bed and looking directly at Daniel, challenging him. “It’s the easiest way out of all this, after all. I have nothing to live for any longer.”

  His words struck hard against Daniel’s mind, like hammer blows that thundered in his head. By doing this, by taking Lord Northcliffe’s life in a quiet inn with no one about, it was the easiest way for Northcliffe to receive what was due him. No one would ever know. He could be free of Northcliffe, free of his past. And yet…

  Suddenly, his determination to shoot the man faltered. Christina’s words came back to his mind, burning a path into his heart. She believed he wasn’t this kind of man, not the kind of man who became a murderer out of nothing more than vengeance. And yet, here he stood with a pistol in his hand, determined to do just that.

  Daniel found himself growing desperate to prove to Christina that he could be the man she wanted him to be. That he could be trusted, even when faced with the opportunity to kill the man who’d caused him so much pain.

  “I want to kill you,” he said slowly, still keeping his pistol steady. “You deserve to die. But this is too easy for you, Northcliffe. The world deserves to know the truth about Laura. That is one way I can bring her and her family justice.”

  Lord Northcliffe’s expression twisted, grew ugly. “You’re weak,” he spat, getting to his feet. “You’ve always been weak. Too weak to do what you’d planned, to do what you want instead of listening to that stupid lady you call a wife. It’s her that makes you this way.”

  It was as though, instead of tormenting him all the more, Lord Northcliffe’s words revealed a strange truth to Daniel. It was not that Christina made him weak but rather that she was giving him the strength not to do what he’d come here to do. Her voice, her smile, the light in her eyes all came back to him, flooding his memory. The look on her face as she’d told him she was leaving tore at his mind, and he knew that right here, in this little room, was the moment he had to make a decision that would change the course of the rest of his life.

  He could exact his revenge on Lord Northcliffe, just as he’d intended, and leave him dead at his feet. That would mean a continued estrangement from Christina, very little chance to give expression to his growing feelings for her and, most likely, a lifetime spent alone, in the darkness that had become familiar.

  If he did not kill Lord Northcliffe, then his future would look very different. Christina would have no cause to doubt him, would come back to live with him as she should and he would have nothing to fear from any authorities. Lord Northcliffe would be subsequently dealt with in the official manner which, while it could take a little longer, would give Daniel the chance to see his first love avenged in the way that was right. It would not be by his hand, but it would be his voice giving evidence, as well as that of Christina’s and Lord Hudson.

  I love her. As she does me.

  The voice whispered in his mind as he slowly lowered the pistol, his heart swelling with an as-yet unspoken emotion. “Northcliffe,” he said, firmly, never taking his gaze away from the man. “You’re coming with me.”

  Lord Northcliffe spat, hard. “No, I’m not. Kill me now. Let this whole thing be over with. Kill me as you did Laura.”

  Daniel gave a grunt of frustration.

  “What do you mean, as I killed Laura? There is no one here, Northcliffe, so you may as well confess all. You know as well as I do that it was you who killed her and left her for me to find. Why lie about it now?”

  Daniel, his jaw hard, leaned a little closer to the man.

  “If you’re afraid of the gallows, Northcliffe, then—”

  Northcliffe's eyes widened as he stared at him, and he surprised Daniel by raising his hands in front of him, as if in surrender.

  “You didn’t do it.” Northcliffe said softly, to himself, it seemed, as much as Daniel.

  “Didn’t do what? Kill Laura? Of course not, you fool, I—”

  Their gazes met, and suddenly they both came to the realization at the same time. Despite how they hated one another and their irreparable past, they both knew at that moment that neither one of them had killed Laura Churston.

  “So who did it?” Daniel said hoarsely, gripping a chair beside him as his legs suddenly grew weak. “Who else would have a wish to harm her? And why would my butler say— my God.”

  Desperation flooded over him as he grasped the man’s collar, lifting him and pushing him toward the door. “We have to go — now. Lord Hudson is waiting.”

  Lord Northcliffe walked down the long flight of stairs with Daniel following close behind. Outside, Hudson raised his eyebrows in astonishment as he pushed himself away from the wall.

  “Hudson, I have no time to explain,” he said in a rush. “Northcliffe did not kill Laura, though he did still threaten Christina’s life. I have to go. Christina is in danger.”

  “But—”

  “I believe Woodward is somehow involved,” he said as Hudson stood in attention with an astonished gaze at his words. Daniel pushed Lord Northcliffe toward him. “I cannot say I completely trust you, Northcliffe, so Lord Hudson will accompany you for now,” he continued, throwing a nod of appreciation toward the innkeeper who returned his gesture. “Is there a carriage of some sort?”

  “I’m sure we can procure one, despite the hour,” Lord Hudson replied, still keeping a firm hold of Lord Northcliffe. “Well done, old boy. Didn’t think you had it in you.”

  “Neither did I,” Daniel admitted. “It seems Christina has had more of an influence on me than she realized.” He drew a resolute breath. “This is not over yet.”

  Lord Hudson threw him a glance, which Daniel only just caught in the dim light.

  “I must go. I will see you in London,” he said, leaving Hudson behind and making for the stables as quickly as possible. He found his mount, yelling at a confused stable hand to saddle him — quickly. Daniel threw a leg overtop the horse, and raced out of the stables already at a gallop. He prayed Christina was, by now, safely residing with her father. He could not wait to tell her the truth, to show her that all of his trials had finally come to an end. Suddenly his future was brighter than ever before, a lightness he had not experienced in a great many years settling over him. But first, he had to ensure her safety. All should be fine, he assured himself. Woodward had no reason to do her harm — did he?

  “I can let you go now, Laura,” h
e said softly as he rode. “You will have the justice that should always have been yours.”

  Looking up at the full moon, Daniel closed his eyes for a moment and drew in a long, ragged breath. The burden he’d been carrying for so long had finally gone, rolling away from his back the moment he’d chosen not to kill Lord Northcliffe. He knew now that Northcliffe hadn’t been the killer, and yet, even though he still had to make certain Woodward was dealt with, Daniel felt his spirit lift at the fact that he had let go of the thirst for vengeance that had been a part of him for so long. He let out a breath and opened his eyes. It no longer mattered that he could not recall Laura’s face, nor the sound of her voice. She was gone to a place he could not follow, and in spite of his brokenness, in spite of his grief, he had found another to love. Christina was his everything; he had just never allowed himself to feel it before.

  “I love her,” he breathed, urging his horse to travel faster. “I love my wife.” Saying the words were more freeing than anything else he could ever have imagined. Now he had to make sure he had the opportunity to tell her.

  22

  Christina did not sleep well that night, having had every intention of returning to her father’s home for a time before removing to her husband’s country estate, only to find that her father was no longer in London. The note had been returned to her by the butler, who informed her that the Marquess of Burrton had apparently gone to a house party in Suffolk and would not return for another sennight.

  And so, Christina had no other option but to remain in her home, waiting for her husband to return or for the authorities to come to the door with the news that Daniel had been arrested for murder — despite the fact that, as he had said, he was a powerful marquess.

  Her heart broke as she thought of what he intended to do, and she prayed over and over that he would find the strength to do what was right, while fully believing that he would not be able to. She had seen the anger in his eyes as he’d spoken of Lord Northcliffe, reminding her of how she’d almost been killed by the man.