Caught in Between

by Alison L. Perry

  Turning the conversation away from me, I said, “Tell me about your family.” It was something I’d wanted to ask ever since I learned who he was. I realized that until I did, the fear and worry about what they’d think of me would always hover at the back of my mind.

  “My family? Not much to tell. I have an older sister. Celine. She’s twenty-one and lives in New York. We don’t see her much since she moved away. I guess Jefferson was too small a town for her taste.” He chuckled.

  “What about your parents? What do they do?”

  “My mom is a professional housewife. She lives to organize charities and events. And Dad is the Senior Vice President of Ottavio Bank.” I could feel the movement against my back as he shrugged his shoulders. “They’re busy people. I hardly ever see them.”

  I tried to figure out a way to ask if he’d mentioned me. Or if he even planned to. I decided to be direct. “Have you… do they know about me?” I held my breath.

  He traced a finger down my arm. “They know there’s someone special that I’m interested in.”

  “But you haven’t told them the details.”

  “Sadie, I barely get five minutes with them. They know your name and that I’m happy. The rest isn’t all that important.”

  “To you. It may not be important to you, and I’m glad. But Kade, your family may care. Aren’t your parents close friends with one of the First Families?”

  “Yes, our family is pretty connected to the Sergios. But I don’t see why that should matter.”

  Frustration bubbled inside me. “Of course you don’t understand! You’ve grown up thinking of them as family.” My voice was rising and I hated myself for it, but I had to make him see where I was coming from. “The Sergios are important. Like, really, really important. And so is your family. Add to that, Jill hates me and she’s practically a princess herself.” I gulped in air. “I’m nowhere on the map. We go together like oil and water,” I finished glumly.

  “I don’t think you’re giving them enough credit. They may be ancient and rich, but that doesn’t automatically make them snobby. Jill is an exception. She’s always been a mean little thing.”

  I sighed. I wanted so much to believe him, but I couldn’t let go of the doubt. Jill’s skepticism of my pedigree echoed in my ears. I was reluctant to voice my sudden fears to Kade, mainly because I didn’t want to confront the possibilities she’d opened my eyes to. But, I knew I wouldn’t be able to push it to the side forever. As much as I hated the thought, what she said made a kind of sense. It was a logical explanation for why I was so different from my family, but logical or not, it punched a hole in me to think that I may not truly belong to them. And that train of thought only led to more questions. Bigger questions. Scarier questions that I simply didn’t have the energy to face right now.

  He hugged me to him, his compassion almost palpable. “Are you sure you’re okay? Between your head wound and now this, I’m worried.”

  I reached up and gingerly touched the swelling around my eye. I was lucky I wasn’t seeing double, or worse, not at all.

  “Yeah, I’m okay. It just sucks realizing I’m not as tough as everyone else is.”

  “I’m sorry you’re going through this, Sadie.” I could hear the emotion in his voice and I wanted to reassure him. Halfway turning in his embrace, I looked up into his eyes and kissed him softly. It was the only response I had.

  Chapter 13 - D-Day

  It was the end of the first quarter, and the campus was aflutter with anticipation as student progress reports were distributed. I wasn’t all that anxious because I basically knew I was sucking at everything, and Kade was confident because… well, he was Kade. I thought briefly about Molly, wondering if she was nervous about her scores.

  Fifth period let out a little early so we could pick up our reports from the main building before heading home. Moderation had been sort of low key ever since Kade stood up to Ms. Stratha about using me as an example. Thinking about him made me ache to feel his hand in mine, but we had redoubled our efforts not to be seen together ever since Jill had put the whammy on me.

  I took my time walking across the lawn to pick up my progress report. I wasn’t exactly eager to see my failures in black and white. But, when I made it to the Great Hall and found the correct line to stand in for my last name, I was suddenly eager to get it over with. I pulled my phone out to send Kade a quick text but saw that he’d beaten me to the punch. As usual, a little thrill went through me when I saw his name.

  Kade: Hey there, beautiful. How’s your day been?

  I glanced around for Jill, still a little paranoid she would pop out and catch me doing the forbidden, then tapped out my reply.

  Me: Hey, yourself. Going okay, but waiting for progress report.

  We’ll see.

  Still looking around the room, I caught sight of Molly. She saw me and gave a little head nod. A swift wave of sadness washed over me, but the “ding” of a new text distracted me from it.

  Kade: It’ll be okay. Let me know. And smile. :)

  I couldn’t help but obey. With joy surging through me, I made myself reply calmly instead of the exclamation points I wanted to use.

  Me: K. Talk soon.

  The line inched forward. I stuck my earbuds in to drown out the sound of the chattering around me. Those who had already received their reports were standing around comparing notes and giving each other high-fives. It was common for kids who did well their first semester at University to get a huge reward from their family. Most received cars, with a few exceptions like Molly and Kade, whose parents were so confident in their success they’d “pre-rewarded” them. I’d been dreaming of a car since the twins were born, longing for a way to escape the barely controlled chaos in our house. But the fact was, I’d probably be lucky if I got a new phone.

  Finally, it was my turn. Sonya, the girl forever emblazoned in my memory for being the rudest person on the planet, was manning the table. Inwardly, I sighed.

  “Sadie Criswel,” I said, though I doubted she needed the reminder of who I was.

  She sniffed. Instead of rifling through the stack of reports in the file folder in front of her, she reached to the side and picked up a sealed envelope. Handing it to me, she smiled at me somewhat mockingly. “Here you go.”

  I stared at it. Not this again. I was pretty sure I was the only one getting these damn things, and I also had a pretty solid feeling that it was not good. Not good at all. I took it from her, not even bothering to say “thank you” and shuffled my way out of the room. There was a slight buzzing in my ears, and to my horror, tears welled in my eyes. Do not cry! Don’t do it!

  With eyes closed, I sagged against the wall as I struggled to get a grip on myself. I heard kids moving around me and conversations floating in the air, but it was like it was all coming from somewhere far away. I was there with them, but it was as if a glass wall separated us. I could see and hear them, but there was an invisible barrier preventing me from ever joining their ranks. Letting that sadness settle over me, I leaned against the wallpaper and let the tears fall.

  I felt a finger brush my cheek, and my eyes flew open in surprise. Kade looked at me with sweet worry as he wiped away the tear that had traced its way down my face.

  “What’s wrong?” he questioned in a low tone. “Was it that bad?”

  Giving in to the comfort he provided, I poured my heart out, letting the words rush out of my mouth like water breaking through a dam.

  “I don’t know. Instead of a progress report, they gave me a sealed envelope like the one they gave me when they told me I couldn’t choose an elective. This isn’t good, Kade. I mean, I never wanted to come here in the first place. I knew I wouldn’t fit in. But to see it for real and have to show it to my parents, I just don’t think I can do it.”

  “Have you opened it? Have you actually read it?”

  Mutely, I shook my head.

  “Then how do you know it’s going to be that bad? Don’t let yourself get worked up
until there’s something to get worked up about.” I noticed his eyes grew a darker green when he was focused on something. And right now, that something was me.

  “Because I know. I just do. You’ve seen me in Maneuvers, and you know how bad I am in there. I’ve been doing it twice a day, and I still can’t make it across that damn ceiling the way Jake wants me to. I’m so far behind the rest of y’all, I’ll never catch up. Let’s not even talk about Moderation. Ms. Stratha hates me.” My voice quivered and more tears leaked out of my eyes and down my cheeks.

  His arm snaked around my waist and I leaned into the comforting support. “Come on. I’m going to take you home. And if you want me to, I’ll stay with you when you open the envelope and show your parents. We’ll do it together.”

  For some reason, whenever anyone shows me compassion in a difficult situation, I always end up crying harder than before. Because I’m so grateful. So, that’s what happened. I went from crying quietly to all-out sobbing. Heads started turning and I could hear the whispers start. Kade knew just what to do, though. Before I could go full out hysterical, he swung me up into his arms and carried me out of the building. He walked quickly, dodging groups of kids on the front lawn until we made it to a sleek, black Mercedes in the far corner of the parking lot. With ease, he slid me into the front seat and buckled me in, giving my forehead a soft kiss before shutting the door.

  After he’d slid behind the wheel, he turned to me. “I promise I’m not going to make you face whatever happens next by yourself.”

  My sobs had turned to sniffles. Drawing in a deep breath, I said what had been building inside me for weeks.

  “Kade… Jill. We’ve gotten bolder and she’s made me pay for it. I… I don’t know if I should be worried anymore since I might not be coming back. But, you. What if she takes things out on you?”

  He turned the key and the engine purred to life. As he pulled out of the parking lot, he reached over and took my hand, immediately calming my worry.

  “Then I’ll deal with her.”

  ***

  My stomach was doing flips when we pulled up in front of my house. I gave Kade’s hand an extra squeeze and opened the car door before he could shut off the engine.

  “Sadie… don’t you want me to go in with you?”

  Hell yes.

  “No. I need to do this alone. I haven’t even told them about you because…” I paused when I saw him frown, trying to find the words to explain what I, myself, had trouble understanding. “Meeting you has been the only bright spot in going to that blasted place every day. It’s been the brightest spot in my whole life. I’ve kept it to myself because part of me was scared that if I actually shared it, it might go away.” Ashamed, I rushed on. “I know that makes me sound desperate.”

  In the sweetest music to my ears, he said, “No, Sadie. It doesn’t make you sound desperate at all.”

  My cheeks warmed and more tears formed in my eyes. How had I managed to snag someone who understood me so intimately and accepted my flaws as part of what he liked? I couldn’t imagine any other boy sticking around when my weirdness was on full display. But Kade never went the other way. Instead, he always seemed to be running toward me.

  In a hurry to get inside before I started crying again, I blew him a kiss.

  “I’ll let you know what happens.”

  “Tonight… okay? I want to hear from you tonight.” His tone was firm, and a completely different kind of shiver traveled down my spine. A delicious shiver.

  “I promise,” I whispered, before shutting the door. I watched as he drove away, a knot forming in my stomach.

  ***

  The house was quiet when I walked in, which was unusual for this time of day. My dad would normally just be getting home from work and mom would be in the kitchen with the twins, finishing up their day of homeschooling. But today, the house had an oppressively empty feeling, and I wondered what was going on.

  Since it appeared I had some time to prepare myself for the upcoming confrontation with my parents, I went to my room to open the letter in privacy. I needed to know what it said before I gave it to them. With shaking fingers, I broke the seal and slid the now-familiar parchment out of its sleeve.

  To the parents of Ms. Sadie Criswel,

  I request an appointment with both of you tomorrow evening, at 8:30 p.m.to discuss Sadie’s progress during this first semester of school. If there is any reason you cannot make this time, please respond as soon as possible with an alternate available time.

  Regards,

  Madame Kringsly

  I didn’t bother reading it again. Deep in my heart, I knew what she was going to tell them. Truth be told, I had conflicting feelings about it. Fear of what my parents would say. Shame that I would be part of a tiny percentage too weak to make it through University. And worry about what Kade might think of me. But there was also a huge sense of relief. I hadn’t wanted to go there from the moment it was mentioned. I knew I wouldn’t survive. I’m too different and don’t fit into the vampire mold. I’m not sure where I fit, but it was becoming clearer every day that I was a different breed. I just wish I knew why. And where I would fit.

  The slamming of the front door interrupted my thoughts. I heard Sophia yelling at Joshua as they thundered up the stairs and the slamming of another door. Immediately, Sophia started pounding on it, screaming his name over and over. What the hell? I stood and poked my head out into the hall.

  “Hey! Sophia!” I had to yell a little to get her attention over the beatdown she was giving the door. By now, she’d begun kicking it, too. Pound, pound, pound, kick, kick! Over and over again. Worried she might break her way through it, I grabbed her little body and pulled her away.

  “Hey!” I said loudly. “Cut it out! You’re gonna break the door! Mom will kill you if you do.”

  She fought me, turning her rage from the door to me. “I don’t care! I want Joshua,” she bellowed his name loudly in my ear, “to get his butt out here right now and face me like a man!” She was seething, the sharp little points of her fangs showing between her lips, and I was becoming a bit afraid of her. I’d never seen them fight, and I’d definitely never witnessed such wrath coming from my normally calm little sister. I restrained her as best I could while shielding my face from her flying fists. When it was clear she wasn’t going to stop, I wrestled her to the ground and sat on her.

  “What in the world did he do? And speaking of Mom, where is she? Why isn’t she up here getting involved?”

  “She dropped me and Josh off, then went to pick up Dad. His car broke down and since the sun is going to be coming up soon, she was all panicked about getting to him in time.”

  Well. That explained that. By now, Sophia had stopped fighting me and was just lying there with her chest heaving from her temper tantrum. Curiously, there wasn’t a peep from Josh’s room, so he was either just as frightened of her as I was, or he was biding his time before taunting her. Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past him to do just that.

  “Are you okay now? If I let you up, are you going to behave yourself and deal with this rationally? Whatever this is.”

  She glared at me and shrugged. Determined to make sure the house would still be standing if I left her alone, I stared her down, waiting until she finally nodded.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll get ’im later.”

  I rubbed my forehead, not entirely sure I liked that answer but also not in the mood to get in the middle of it. I decided to let it go. Standing, I yanked her to her feet and went back to my room, intent on calling Kade to tell him what the letter said. I knew he’d be waiting for me to fill him in sooner rather than later, and I didn’t want to keep him waiting.

  I dialed his number. He picked up on the first ring.

  “Sadie. What did it say? What did they say? How are you?”

  I sighed deeply and crossed my fingers. “It’s a request for a meeting between my parents and Kringsly. Kade… I think…” I stopped, not sure if I could say it out loud. />
  “Hey, you can tell me. I’m here and I promise, nothing you say is going to change what I think or feel about you.”

  With his words giving me the courage I needed, I blurted it out. “I think they’re going to kick me out of University. I’m just not cutting it.”

  There was silence on his end and my heart froze. Why wasn’t he saying anything? Had he changed his mind after all? Did I just ruin whatever had been blossoming between us?

  But, finally, his voice came through, warm and assuring. “I had a feeling it would be something like that. It’s okay, Sadie. I know you struggle, that you think you’re a failure at being what we are. And I’m not going to pretend I think it’s all in your imagination. You’re right. You do have some qualities that are pretty different from a typical vampire.” He paused a moment, and I wondered where he was going with this. “But… it doesn’t matter to me that you hate blood or fall down a lot or that you’re not an acrobat. I didn’t know anything about you… what you could or couldn’t do… when I first laid eyes on you. It didn’t matter to me then, and it doesn’t matter to me now.”

  I couldn’t breathe. I’d never had anyone say something like this to me before. Not even Molly. The sincerity in his voice was so real I couldn’t help but give in to his words. My heart raced with exhilaration, but I was not prepared for what he said next.

  “I’ve fallen in love with you, Sadie. I think it happened the moment I saw you.”

  I might have said something back, but if I did, I couldn’t remember. My hands were gripping the phone so tightly they began to ache, and the only word echoing in my mind, over and over, was “love.” He said he loved me. He loves me?

  I forced myself to keep breathing, giddiness and hyperventilation battling it out within my body. I heard him say something else, and I had to concentrate hard on listening to him.