Caught in Between

by Alison L. Perry

  She walked past me, up the stairs, and into my room. I followed, shutting the door behind me. I opened my mouth to say something—what, I didn’t know—but she stopped me.

  “Let me talk.”

  I snapped my mouth shut and sank onto the bed, ready to hear her out.

  She took a deep breath, making me think whatever she was going to say was hard for her to speak. A glimmer of hope sparked inside me.

  “Sadie, your father and I have been doing a lot of talking about this. Well, arguing, mostly.” She paused, and I wanted to jump in and start pleading my case, but I pressed my lips firmly together. I was determined to listen to what she had to say. She began to pace in front of me. My head swung back and forth as I kept my eyes on her. “Despite my deep reservations… we’re going to allow you to do this.”

  At first, I wasn’t sure I had heard right. Hope and doubt collided. I was frozen, unsure if this was actually happening. But the look on her face quickly shuttered my doubts.

  “Now, there are going to be some rules. And we’re going to do everything we can to help you get started, but Sadie, this is going to be a huge responsibility. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, Mom. I do understand,” I said, nodding my head vigorously. I’m going to regular high school!

  “Good. I have to admit, you do seem pretty aware of what is at stake in order to try this. Which is why I agreed.” She sat down next to me. “I’m going to take you shopping for some clothes, and Dad is going to take you to get a few other essentials tomorrow. We’ll enroll you this week, so you can start taking classes Monday.”

  I couldn’t help myself. I jumped up, squealing, and wrapped my arms around her, hugging tight. She pulled me in close and squeezed hard. We stayed like that, sharing a closeness that was rare for us.

  She finally released the pressure around me, and I pulled back, only to see tears in her eyes.

  “Mom, are you okay? What is it?”

  “Yes, honey. I’m okay. It’s just a little scary sending your daughter into a relatively unknown—for us, anyway—world.”

  “I know,” I whispered. “But it’s not like I’m moving away and doing this. I’ll be right here, coming home every day as usual. Only now, I’m hoping I’ll have good stories to tell y’all… like Nathan always does.”

  She sighed. “Is that what part of this is? You’re jealous of Nathan?”

  I thought for a minute. “Not really. I mean, yeah, it’s hard not to feel jealous when he’s perfect at everything. But it’s more about me feeling like I don’t fit in anywhere. Not here at home. Not in the vampire lifestyle. I’m hoping maybe that will change. That I’ll find my fit living a regular life. At least during the school day.” Daytime. I was going to have to get used to sleeping at night. My whole schedule was going to change. Instead of it frightening me, though, it exhilarated me.

  Nodding her head, she gave me another quick squeeze and stood. “Let me get the twins settled and you and I will go shopping.”

  “Okay.” I watched as she left the room, wondering what she thought we needed to buy. My clothes were pretty normal, I thought. I’d done some comparisons of what I wore to pictures in the teen magazines I stole from our neighbor’s mailbox. In fact, I had to smuggle in most of what I owned. In general, vampires dress a certain way, and we have our own community stores that we shop from. But I never felt comfortable in that style. So, a few years ago, I convinced our neighbor’s daughter, Amanda, to do some shopping for me. I fed her a line about having a chronic illness that prevented me from going anywhere, and she bought it. I gave her all the money I saved up, along with some pictures from magazines that I liked and asked her to get me everything she could. My mom wasn’t too pleased when she found out what I did, but after days of fighting about it, she finally relented and allowed me to wear what I wanted. But to make sure I didn’t do something like that again, she went over to the neighbor’s house and Persuaded Amanda to forget what she’d done and to refuse any requests from me in the future.

  I decided to just go with it. Hungry, I wandered down to the kitchen to get something to eat and wait for Mom. I’d just sat down to eat a bowl of cereal when she came in.

  “Once you’re finished eating, we’ll go.”

  I swallowed a mouthful of Cheerios and took a swig of orange juice, before hopping up. “I’m ready,” I said, eager to get going.

  She took her purse from the kitchen counter and jingled the car keys in her hand. As we walked out the door, she called out over her shoulder to the twins, who were playing a shoot-’em-up game in the living room. “We’re leaving! Be back in a while. Don’t burn down the house!”

  I stifled a laugh, thinking about the time they had, in fact, set the house on fire. Mom glared at me. She still didn’t find the humor in it, though it had been years. I shrugged and slid into the passenger seat, my mind drifting forward to our errands, wondering what Mom could possibly think I needed.

  ***

  My heart sank a little when we pulled into the parking lot of an old warehouse on the outskirts of town. I knew this place. Underneath the abandoned building was an intricate layout of stores where most things a vampire needed could be bought. The Holsteins—the same ones who founded the University—owned the building and all the land surrounding it, ensuring that the city couldn’t make the decision to tear it down. It was a perfect decoy, allowing the mall underneath to thrive unseen twenty-four seven.

  We parked and made our way around to the back where a single door was located. All the windows and other entrances had been sealed off years ago, so this was the only way in and out. Mom knocked four times in rapid succession and waited a moment before knocking twice more. A small panel next to the doorknob slid open, revealing a keypad and handprint scanner. She entered the code, placed her hand on the pad, and after a few seconds, we heard the door click open.

  We walked into a dark hallway lined with doors and took the first one on the right and descended down the steep staircase. One last door confronted us and Mom repeated the process of inputting a code. The door opened and we entered a large, bustling hallway. Stores lined our path on both sides, their window displays showcasing what they had to offer. It was, from what I could tell, like any other shopping mall, only underground and targeted to the vampire community.

  Mom headed off to our right, and I quickly followed, glancing around and taking it all in. I had only been here one other time, so everything looked and felt new to me. There were kiosks in the centers of the aisles, where people sold everything from food to fang sharpeners. There were also smaller stations scattered around with Feeders available for a fee. I looked away as we passed one with an older woman standing blankly, a toddler attached to her wrist as it fed on her. My stomach lurched and I silently urged Mom to walk faster.

  We finally stopped in front of a store selling coats and other outerwear. Mom opened the door and looked back at me.

  “Well, come on,” she said, gesturing for me to go in ahead of her.

  The smell of leather slapped me in the face as soon as I stepped inside. It wasn’t an unpleasant smell, but it was strong. I looked around and saw leather coats hanging on racks. Mannequins peppered the room, modeling different styles for customers to consider. I reached out and touched the buttery leather of one that caught my eye, and my eyes closed in happiness at the tactile pleasure.

  “Sadie! Back here, please.”

  I reluctantly let go of the coat, and burrowed deeper into the store, toward the back. There, I found Mom, holding a puffy black ski jacket, complete with fur-trimmed hood and a long belt with fur balls dangling on each end.

  I stared at her, scared she was serious. “Umm, Mom? Please tell me you’re joking.”

  “Why would I be joking? You’re going to be going out in sunlight, Sadie. This will protect your head and face. Of course, we’ll have to get you a set of gloves so your hands won’t burn. You’ll have to be sure to always wear jeans or some other pants, too. No skirts.”

&n
bsp; I closed my eyes as she talked. My head buzzed with the absurdity of the situation. “Mom. First of all, I don’t wear skirts. But, that’s totally beside the point. You’ve been talking all this time about the necessity of being discreet, and now you want me to parade into school wearing a ski coat and gloves? In the Texas heat?” I rolled my eyes. “Like that’s not going to be obvious at all.”

  “You can lose the sarcasm, Sadie. What else do you think you can do to protect your skin from the sun?”

  “I don’t know, but I’m sure I can come up with something a little less… extreme.”

  “Well, then, by all means, look around. Let me know when you find something.” She walked away in a huff.

  I examined the coats on the racks in front of me. All of them were just as offensive. With the ski jacket in my hands, I heaved a sigh and started toward the front, but something held me back. Confused, I tugged forward again, only to suddenly hear a loud crash. Before I realized what was happening, my legs crumpled and I was on the floor, a heavy rack of coats laying on top of me.

  “What in the world…” my Mom’s voice trailed off as she reappeared and took in the scene.

  Dazed and flustered, I tried to push the rack off myself, but it wasn’t budging. “I could use a little help here.”

  The salesclerk appeared then. She bristled with irritation at the mess I’d just made of her store, and frankly, I didn’t blame her. Frustrated that I couldn’t seem to go anywhere without disaster following me, I yanked at the coat still in my hands, trying to disengage myself from its grip.

  “I told you this was a terrible idea! This stupid coat… did you really think I needed one with things dangling off it? It tangled up with another coat and…” I trailed off, yanking harder on the material until I heard a loud ripping sound.

  “Stop!” the salesclerk screeched. “You’re tearing the merchandise! Just stop.”

  I froze, the woman’s wrath startling me. Mom’s face was flushed with embarrassment when she came over to help me up. Between the two of us, me pushing and Mom pulling, we managed to right the rack. The salesclerk was muttering to herself as she surveyed the damage, picking through the coats and examining each one.

  “You ruined three of them,” she announced with anger. “You’ll have to buy them.”

  Without saying anything, Mom dug in her purse and handed the woman a credit card. She took it and went back to the front.

  “Mom, I’m sorry. It wasn’t my fault, though.”

  “Sadie, I don’t want to hear it. I don’t know why I even act surprised. Of course you would find a way to destroy half the store.” Her disgust rang in the air.

  I flushed. “I didn’t destroy it. Just a few coats were damaged—”

  Before I could finish, she cut me off. “This did serve to prove one thing. I agree with you. I doubt you’ll ever be able to behave like a vampire. I don’t know how you turned out so different, but you did. And we must deal with it as best we can. I still had some reservations about your plan, but not anymore. I think you’re on the right track now.”

  Despite getting what I had always wanted—my mom’s understanding of my predicament—her words stung. The way she put it sounded so ugly. Like she was washing her hands of me. Tears welled in my eyes, but I fought them back. I wasn’t going to let her see me cry. I was done with that.

  Stiffly, I gathered up the coats I’d torn and walked to the sales counter so the clerk could bag them up. Mom followed. She signed the charge slip and nodded for me to follow her outside the store.

  “I… I’m so sorry for the trouble,” I said to the still-angry woman. “I didn’t mean to…” I trailed off, realizing there was nothing I could say that would make her feel better, so I quietly left the store. Mom was waiting for me.

  “We need to get you some gloves. The rest of your clothing should be fine.” I didn’t argue. When she marched off in the same direction we’d come from, I followed, hoping the rest of the shopping trip would go by quickly and without any further disasters.

  To my great relief, we stopped at one of the kiosks in the middle of the aisle. I spotted an empty bench nearby and sat down, determined not to touch anything. I let my eyes wander as my mom browsed. I was watching a couple of kids argue with each other over a toy when someone sat down next to me.

  “Good evening,” a trembly voice said. I glanced over, wanting only to give a quick smile in return, but was stopped at the sight of the old lady staring at me. She had silver hair, pulled up in a high bun, and her face was wrinkled with age. Dark smudges beneath her skin gave her a ghoulish appearance. But it was her eyes that captured my attention. They were red, with black and gold flecks, the sign of the Firsts. “Good evening,” she said again.

  My voice caught in my throat as fear bubbled up within me. It was rare to encounter a First. They were very old and didn’t venture outside their homes much. Most vampires went to their death never having seen one. And now, one was sitting next to me, striking up a conversation! I hadn’t even known we had a First in our town. Kade’s family was pretty close to the Sergios, but they lived on the East Coast, near New York. I fought the urge to flee and sneaked a panicky look at my mom, but she was still engrossed with the glove search. I looked back at the old woman and saw that she was watching me, an expectant look on her face.

  I swallowed hard. “H… hello,” I squeaked.

  It felt like her eyes were burning through me, stripping away all my layers as one would an onion or the petals of a flower. It felt like she was searching for something. I’d heard rumors they could read minds and suddenly felt vulnerable. My mind raced. What is she looking for?

  Finally, she spoke again. “Please, child, stop looking at me with such concern. I’m not going to hurt you. My name is Penelope Claire Liddell. However, you may call me Pen.”

  Liddell? Theirs is the oldest of the First Families. As high as royalty can be. And she’s giving me permission to call her by a nickname? What’s going on?

  “Good evening… P… Pen.”

  She chuckled. “You are confused about why I am here, in the middle of a busy mall, talking to you.”

  Holy hell, she can read minds! I decided to be forthcoming. Something told me I wouldn’t like the consequences if I was caught lying to a First.

  “Well, ma’am, yes, I am a little startled. I’ve heard that most Firsts don’t care for large crowds or leaving their home comforts.” Was that rude to say?

  She smiled. “Ah, yes, that is true most of the time. Most of the first-generation vampires of the First Families are nearly all homebound. My brothers and sisters follow that path, as well. They let their servants and the newer generations take care of their wishes and needs on the outside. But, I like to get out some, see the world, observe our people. There will eventually come a time when we must leave this existence, letting our heirs take over. Being the youngest of my family, I suspect I’ll be the last to cross over into eternal rest. I don’t plan on doing that until I’ve assured myself that the vampire’s future is well intact.”

  I listened, soothed by the rhythm of her voice. When she lapsed into silence, I shook myself a little, coming out of my reverie. Why was she telling me this? Was she bored and just wanting to talk to someone or did she seek me out on purpose? A million questions flew through my head. Manners and curiosity warred with each other as I struggled with how to respond. In the end, my curiosity persevered.

  “But if your heirs are taking your place, why would you still worry?” I hoped I wasn’t being impertinent by asking, but the question just slipped out. I waited for her to chastise me, but when she didn’t, I relaxed.

  “A very good question, my dear Sadie.”

  Wait, what? How does she know my name?

  My face must have registered shock because she looked amused. I tried to arrange my features into a neutral expression, but I was shaken. How does she know me?

  “It’s not whether the heirs of the Firsts will be worthy of their birthright. Like my anc
estors before me, I trust my family. I know they will do honor to our species. It is others of our kind I don’t trust.” She paused, looking deep into my eyes again, before continuing. “Vampires are ancient. We’ve been around for a long time, despite some of our weaknesses, like the sun and our absolute need for blood. But inevitably, there are some who are not content to exist as we always have. They think they are smarter. They think they can change our basic nature.”

  “I don’t understand—”

  “Sadie! Come over here. I need your help deciding between two pairs.”

  I glanced over at my mom. “Mom, can it wait a few more minutes? I’m in the middle of a conversation.” I jerked my head meaningfully toward Pen.

  Mom gave me a quizzical look. “What do you mean? Who are you talking to, yourself?”

  I whirled my head back around. Pen was gone. I stood up, frantically looking to my left and right, searching for the First. But, all I saw was the normal activity of the bustling mall. Parents with their children, young teenagers free from supervision for a while. Not one little old lady among them.

  “I don’t understand, Mom. She was right here.” And she was trying to tell me something.

  “Who?”

  I opened my mouth to tell her, but the amusement on her face stopped me. Past experience told me she wouldn’t believe me, so there was no point in trying. I battled with myself for a minute, weighing the pros and cons of trying to convince her I’d been discussing the state of vampires with a First. Silence won out.

  “Never mind. Let me see what you picked out.”

  As I examined the gloves, thoughts raced through my mind. My intuition was telling me that Pen had been giving me a message. Trying to convey something to me that was important, but for the life of me, I had no idea what. Nor did I understand why she was telling me. The least noticeable vampire around. The whole thing was starting to make my head hurt. I hurriedly picked out a pair so we could pay for them and go home.

  As we walked back to the car, I saw a brief flash of silver hair. In my excitement, I stumbled a little, knocking into my mom.