The Sage After Rain A love story

by Jaclyn Hawkes

  Taya groaned behind his head and opened her eyes and said, "Oh, Matt, for heaven's sake. You're being ridiculous." She closed her eyes again and rolled over, but a few seconds later she rolled back and draped one arm down on his neck. He looked a bit startled and Sue smiled as she ate her dinner.

  ****

  Matt tried to get his mom to go back to the hotel and get a room saying that the conditions here were too rough for her. Sue just put her hands on her hips and said, "Matthew Maylon, I have lived in hunting camps from here to Africa with your father over the years. Why in the world would you think I couldn't handle a sheep camp?"

  She got in the back of her SUV and pulled a sleeping bag out and Matt insisted, "Then at least go in and sleep on her bed, Mom. She'll be horrified when she gets better if she finds out you slept out in a tent or on the ground. Take her sheets off first so you don't get this and then crash on her bed."

  "I'll take you up on that. She probably wouldn't mind if you slept on the other one instead of there on the ground."

  "I'll be fine here where I can keep an eye on her. Plus it would be a pain to move her big printer."

  "What's the printer for, dare I ask?"

  "She's a structural engineer and works on plans at night and she has to print one or two copies out so she can stamp them before she ships them back to her partner."

  "A beauty queen structural engineer who was engaged to a senator and is now a nomadic sheepherder?"

  "Congressman, not senator."

  "Oh, my mistake. That's not my point. Where in the world did you find this girl?"

  He smiled, remembering. "The beautiful sheep princess found me. One day out there in the desert, I had just come to the last dead end that my discouragement could handle and had decided to give up and go home and take a huge loss, and out of the sagebrush came this beautiful girl and a herd of sheep and a dog that wanted to have me for lunch. She showed me how to get across the canyon I was stuck at and she's pretty much showed me how to move forward with my whole life since then.

  “She's the one who talked me into going to renegotiate the contract. She helped me find some guys to work with, and honestly, she's probably the impetus that had me going home to either patch it up with Stacy or get away from her. And I hadn't even met her at that time. I'd only seen her across the desert."

  "Where is her family?"

  "Her parents still live in D.C., but she doesn't have anything to do with them. They were there the night her fiancé' hurt her and left her laying on the floor bleeding while they went with the fiancé' to his fundraiser dinner."

  "That's awful!"

  Sadly, he nodded in agreement. "It is. It still makes her cry every time. And even sadder is the fact that they don't realize what a price they paid when they did that to her. She's an extraordinary person, and they didn't even realize it."

  Sue looked at him. "You truly like this girl."

  Guiltily, he admitted, "I do. A lot. I wish I deserved her."

  "Matt, you keep acting like you're this terrible person who is hopelessly lost. Don't you realize that when you talk like that you’re insinuating that the Savior's atonement is trivial?" He looked at her as he thought about that. "Matt, everyone makes mistakes. Even that beautiful girl over there has made mistakes. Jesus knew we'd screw up sometimes. That's why He gave his very life. To help us right the wrongs and move on. It's not some trivial little thing that can only handle minimal sins. The atonement is for everyone and every problem if we'll just honestly try to change our ways.”

  She smiled and pointed a motherly index finger at him. “It even applies to you, hon. No matter what terrible, awful, very bad things you seem to think you've done. Repent and make it right and get it over with and move on. You have your whole life ahead of you, leave the heavy baggage behind and go out there and reach your potential. You're a very good man, Matt Maylon. Don't let some stupid girl with fake nails and bleached hair trip you up. Admit you made a mistake and get past it to the great future that's ahead of you.

  “You and I both know what you're capable of, Matt. It sounds like maybe even she does too." She nodded at Taya. "Don't let the garbage that goes on in this world make you lose sight of your goals and dreams. Stuff does happen. Go around it, go over it, tunnel under it, go right through it if you have to, but get past it and move on. There's greatness waiting on the other side.”

  She smiled and lightened up. “Now, enough from your mother. I'm going to bed. Wake me if you need me."

  "G'night, Mom. Thank you. I love you."

  Matt still sat leaning against the swing with his legs stretched out in front of him, thinking about what his mother had just said to him. He was startled again when Taya rolled over and put her arm around his neck, and mumbled, "You have an incredibly wise mother." Then she went back to sleep.

  ****

  He knew when she leaned her head over the edge of the swing at dawn the next morning to look down at him with clear, blue eyes, that they had made it. He reached up to feel her head and let out a long sigh. "Hey, Taya, long time no see."

  "Thank you for helping me get through. How many days has it been?"

  "Today's the sixth."

  "Did I ruin your project?"

  "No, you didn't ruin my project. How do you feel?"

  "Like I've been through the fires of hell and back. But I also feel like I've been well taken care of. Thank you."

  "You're very welcome. It was only honorable. You did the same for me."

  She rolled over on her back. "I dreamed that your mother came, and she gave you this most amazing little talking to. I wish I could remember what she said exactly so I could write it down. It was incredible."

  Just then Sue walked out of the trailer door and Taya jumped and turned to look at her and then back at Matt with wide eyes. He sat up and smiled at her and said, "I did write it down. I'll give you a copy some time. You were a little out of it the first time I introduced you. Taya, I'd like you to meet my mom, Sue Maylon. Mom, you remember Taya from yesterday."

  Taya sat up slowly and extended her hand. "I thought I dreamed you. It's nice to meet you."

  "And it's nice to meet you again. I think you'll remember this time. You look better. How do you feel?"

  "Fine, thank you."

  Matt looked up at Taya, shook his head, smiled and said, "You'll learn never to lie to my mother. She knows every time. You might as well be honest."

  Taya turned back to his mom looking slightly embarrassed and said, "Okay, maybe not fine, but better. Much better, thank you."

  "Would you like something to eat?"

  "Actually, yes. I'm honestly hungry for once."

  "Do you want to sit at the table? Or should I just give it to you there in the swing?"

  "Let's sit at the table." She pulled herself to a sitting position and put a hand to her head and sighed, "Ah, I'm light headed."

  Matt got up and moved his bedding out of the way and gave her a hand with a smile. "Are you telling me that this fever made you an airhead?"

  She gave a tired laugh. "I think maybe it has." He seated her at the little table and she said, "Thanks."

  Sue came out with the pan of scrangled eggs and a hot pad to set it on, and Taya exclaimed, "Oh, I remember these eggs. Mrs. Maylon this is the best breakfast I've ever eaten in my life."

  She smiled, but said, "You haven't even had a bite yet. How do you know?"

  "Matt shared some with me that you sent before."

  "Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Shall I pray?"

  "Yes, please." Sue asked a simple blessing on the food and added a request for Taya to continue feeling better.

  When she was through and was dishing up the food, Matt asked her, "What are your plans, Mom? How long can we keep you?"

  "I'll stay through the day today and then probably head home this evening. Why?"

  "I just wondered. Would you think I was rude if I went to work today? I was behind before either one of us got sick."

  "No, of course no
t. I knew you needed some help, that's why I came out in the first place. You head out and I'll stay here and watch over Taya for you."

  Taya volunteered, "You're welcome to stay, but today I think I'm with it enough to take my own medicine and watch myself if I need to. You can go help Matt if you want."

  Matt shook his head. "No, Taya. You need her and she's not going out in the heat to carry a heavy pack anyway." He raised his hand at his mom. "I'm not saying you couldn't handle it, Mom. I'm just saying I'm not going to let you. Stay and visit and feed her. I'm afraid I didn't do so hot and she's lost weight on my watch that she couldn't really spare."

  Taya looked at him, questioning, "Are you saying I'm too skinny?"

  Matt looked at them both and then grinned and said, "I'm not even gonna touch that one. I've buried myself already. Just be as healthy as you can today, okay? I'll see you this afternoon. I'll come in early."

  A few minutes later when he came back dressed to go with his pack, he kissed his mom and wished he could lean down and kiss Taya too. "Keep that fever down. Deal?" He grabbed her hand as he went past.

  "Deal."

  Chapter 20

  When he was gone, Taya went to the shower again and hoped that she washed away the last of the fever. She felt immensely better. Now she was just achy and drained. She left her dirty clothes in a pile at her feet and sat back down on her swing to tackle her hair. She wished Matt could have been here to help her. Having him do her hair had been the ultimate act of service.

  Something had happened to their relationship over the last week or two of this flu. They had pulled together so hard out of necessity that they were now tight friends. Those hours of serving and being served had bonded them somehow. Before the fevers they hadn't touched each other, now that touch was absolutely natural. She missed him ridiculously today.

  Sue spent a while in the trailer working and Taya just stayed on the swing. When she was through combing her hair out and had it braided, she laid back down again. She just wanted to rest for a minute before she got up and found out what had happened to her whole herd of sheep and checked to see how behind she was in her engineering. Joshua was probably going to want to murder her. She hadn't done much in most of two weeks.

  When she felt Sue gently waking her to give her some more Tylenol she was surprised. She hadn't intended to go to sleep. Her fever was back some and she took the medicine gratefully and lay back down. It was so nice to be mothered like this. It had been a long time since her mom had done things like this for her. She tried unsuccessfully not to cry as she went back to sleep. Twice more that afternoon Sue roused her to give her medicine and something to eat. The second time she tried to stay awake to talk to her because she didn't want her to think she was being rude, but she was struggling and Sue acknowledged it and encouraged her to go back to sleep.

  It was Matt who woke her in the early evening to be dosed and have something to eat. He sat down on the swing with her and automatically pulled her up onto his lap and began to rub her low back where it ached so badly. She wished he would have told her he'd ached like this. She could have rubbed his aches out too if she'd known. His mom came out and sat in the chair with them and talked to him while he rubbed her. After a minute or two Taya just lay against his chest and went back to sleep and he had to wake her up again to hand her a plate of dinner. She didn't even make it through a third of it before she fell asleep almost into her mashed potatoes.

  Hours later it seemed, she woke up and found that his mother had left and asked him if he would tell Taya goodbye for her. She was on Matt's lap on the swing in the darkness slowly rocking occasionally. It was the most peaceful feeling she had ever known and she didn't want to move once she was awake. She put a hand on his arm and asked, "Tell me about the rest of your family."

  With his soft, mellow, South Texas drawl, he mused, "My family. My dad is a career hunting guide who started in Colorado, went to Africa for a year or two before they had kids and then Texas for seventeen years, and then back to where he and Mom grew up near Steamboat Springs. They live on a hunting preserve that you have to go through a series of locked gates to get into and out of, that backs up onto the national forest. They're seriously secluded most of the time except in the fall when there are hunters staying there.

  “Both sets of my grandparents live nearby and about a thousand cousins and aunts and uncles. Family parties are a little crazy.

  “I have an older brother, Peter, who farms near there. He's married and has two kids. And I have a younger brother and sister who are twins. Andrew and Elizabeth. Drew is still single and is a deputy county sheriff and lives in one of the cabins on my parents’ compound, and Elizabeth is married to a surgeon and lives in Steamboat with her two kids. They're all nice, respectable people and we're close compared to some families. I was the rebel of the bunch unfortunately. I had one friend who I let talk me into a few stupid stunts that probably aged my mom more than all the rest of the kids put together."

  In a sleepy voice, she said, "Peter, Matthew, Andrew and Elizabeth. They sound like nice Christian names."

  "My parents are nice, Christian people. Now I just wish I was still a nice, Christian son."

  "Matt, look back at the last week of your life. You've been like the Christian poster boy haven't you? I wish you'd lay off with the negative self talk. That's just what Satan wants you to tell yourself, but it's the opposite of what Jesus wants you to tell yourself."

  He sighed. "There are some things you don't know about me, Taya. I've made some incredibly stupid decisions in my life. I told you Stacy was my girlfriend, but I didn't tell you I'd been living with her when I found her in bed with Justin. It wasn’t like we were having a torrid affair. But she was living there."

  She turned in his arms to look at him. "So you completely fell off the wagon. No one's perfect, Matt. Just don't lay there and wallow. Get back on. Leave it behind like your mom recommended and move on. I've only known you a few weeks, but even in that short time, I've come to know you're a good man. You're honest and hardworking and kind. And you have a wonderful spirit about you.”

  Her voice softened, “God is disappointed with us when we make poor choices, but He doesn't love us any less. He's just patiently waiting for us to figure things out and come back to Him. So you blew it with Stacy. Which is a big deal. Physical intimacy is supposed to be sacred, and only between a husband and wife. It's a vital part of marriage, but destructive outside of it, which I'm sure you figured out. In God's eyes sexual sins are extremely serious because they defile the power God has given us to create life. But they can be overcome through Christ's atonement. That's the key.”

  She reached and put a gentle hand on his arm. “Repent and leave that baggage behind and get on to the greatness that your mom mentioned is waiting. That's why God gave us his Son. To find our way back. If you were a bad person who was constantly screwing up and had no interest in doing what's right that would be one thing. But you're a wonderful person, so don't sell yourself short. Just make it right and get past it."

  "That's easy for you to say, Taya. But you don't know how hard it is to face God again when you know you've blown it big time."

  She groaned and rolled back into his arms and buried her face in his neck. "Oh, Matt. I only wish that were true. I was a hard headed, rebellious politician's daughter growing up in Washington, D.C. I wasn't even introduced to the church until I was seventeen. I'm not going to tell you all the mistakes I made because I've honestly done my best to leave them behind and try to do what I know is right, but please don't put me on some kind of pedestal because I don't belong there. I have way more than my fair share of mistakes in the past.

  “And I'm sure I'll mess up a lot more before I end up, but I truly know that you can put stuff behind you and be as white as snow again like it talks about in the scriptures. And it's the best feeling. Don't put it off. Carrying around baggage is like putting rocks in your backpack. It makes the journey hard and it's pointless. Taking care of the r
ocks is the best feeling in the world. Just get it over with and commit to doing better from here on out. I have a great book about repentance and forgiveness. I'll lend it to you if you'd like."

  Answering in his mellow Texas accent, he said, "I'll take you up on that. You make it all sound so easy. It doesn't feel like it's going to be easy."

  Her voice was gentle when she continued, "It's not easy, Matt. But God is a loving Father. He wants the best for us and He knows what's in our hearts. He wants us to be happy and reach our potential. We can't do either one with unresolved problems weighing us down. But just the feeling of being on track and knowing that you're working in the right direction for the eternities is wonderful. Do it sooner than later. You'll be glad you did. You'll be happier."

  He rubbed a hand down her achy back, and asked quietly, "I don't know, Taya. Does it get any happier than this?"

  After a second, she let out a long breath against his neck. "It can't get a whole lot better can it?"

  At length, he went on quietly, "As hard as I'm working to finish this contract, I've been incredibly content here with you and your sheep."

  She looked up at him in the moonlight and wondered what she was going to do about the way she was beginning to feel about him. He looked back down at her and she knew he must have been thinking the same thing about her because he glanced at her mouth and then said softly with his gentle southern drawl, "Taya, we have a problem. I keep having the urge to kiss you tonight."

  She didn’t say anything, just looked at him. How did you answer something like that? Especially when she truly wanted him to. A few minutes later, she quietly asked, "Is that a good problem or bad?"

  He smiled his mellow smile. "I don't know."

  Still in a soft, sleepy voice, she went on, "Kissing me would probably really change our friendship, wouldn't it?"

  "Probably."

  "Mmm. But, it might be nice."

  He smiled again and nodded in agreement. "Definitely."

  "But it might not be very wise. We still need to be able to live out here alone comfortably."