Leaving Tracks

by Victoria Escobar

  “The long and the short of it, yes. Though they’re primarily interested in your carved vases and window planters. Though some of the knickknacks have sold as well.” Wesley picked up the papers again. “I’m here to pack and ship and adjust inventory. Go back to your schoolwork. I can manage, but you’ll definitely want to see if Hadley will give you say a week to produce some more products before your next competition.”

  “Next competition is in July.” I told him, “The Summer Skate hosted by a baby oil company I think. I can’t remember. Hadley would know all the details.”

  “How is Hadley?”

  I sighed.

  “That good, huh?” Wesley pulled up a stool next to me. “Do you want to talk about it? I know you and Thierry are at odds. We all know that. But there’s no reason you can’t talk to me or even Rhett, though I would caution taking the opinion of an almost seventeen year old to heart.”

  “We’re working really hard to at least get attention for an Olympic chance.” I began slowly picking my words carefully, “But school is starting to need more focus. I’m just caught on the fence as to what I really want to do.”

  “You can do school work around your schedule.” Wesley pointed out. “You’ve been doing that for the last five months.”

  “I know.” I sighed again and put my pencil down. “Mom wanted to be an Olympic skater.” I put the words out there as a statement rather than a question but my brother was no fool.

  “Hmm.” Was all Wesley said as he stood and began pulling boxes from the shelves.

  “That’s it? Just hmm?” I asked slightly aggravated.

  “Give me a minute, North. I’m thinking.” Wesley smiled brilliantly at me as he set a few boxes on the shipping cart and turned back to the shelves. “I think I’m going to have to quote Dad on this.”

  I blinked in surprise. “Dad?”

  “Yes, Dad.” Wesley stopped what he was doing to stand next to me and look down. “You remember Dad was in his thirties when he met mom.”

  “Yeah, they joked about Mom being the answer to his midlife crisis. What does that have to do with anything?”

  “When Thierry and I started dating, Dad sat us down to talk. I don’t know what he said to Thierry but I remember what he said to me.” Wesley paused a little lost in his memory with a half-smile on his face.

  “Well?” I asked when no end to the silence seemed in reach.

  “Being with a woman is a wonderful thing. Being with the right woman is magical. There won’t be a moment of boredom in your life when you’re with the right woman. Holding onto her is a tricky business. When you find the right woman, make her life as magical as she’s made yours. Treat her like she’s spun glass and love her like she’s titanium alloy. She’ll never let you down.” Wesley replied his half smile turning to a full one. “The question now remains, is Hadley a wonderful woman or a magical one?”

  I thought about it a moment as my brother stared and waited. My life had transformed from the moment she had laughed at me at the lake. And now…

  “I don’t know what to do.” I answered finally.

  “Oh, I think you do.” Wesley ruffled my hair before turning back to his task. “But do you have the courage to take that step?”

  Was he implying what I thought he was implying? My brother was, I reminded myself, quite often annoyingly confusing. I picked up my pencil and stared at my art, before sighing in frustration and putting it down again.

  “I’m going for a walk.”

  “Sure.” Wesley replied easily. “I have things to do.”

  Hadley

  I loved the farm in the spring. The green was spectacular and Morgaine’s flowers around the house just popped and screamed country living. Avala spent time helping in the fields for the soy and corn planting. I spent time with Glory in the kennels spring cleaning and organizing.

  Being in the kennels was very much like being in a horse stable. Because of the breed of dog, the kennel sizes were just about that large. I spent the morning shooing the dogs outside so the inside space could be pressure washed and treated. While basic cleaning was done every day, the pressure washing was done four times a year just as an extra precaution.

  “Dammit.” I cursed as the gate I thought I had latched swung open and eight Belgian puppies came stampeding towards me. “Sit, heel, stop!” As they were only four month old pups the commands did little to slow them down. They weren’t quite knee high, but with the way they jumped in excited, it was enough to knock anyone not four hundred pounds over.

  “Hadley,” Glory came around the corner and shook the bucket she was carrying. All the dogs abandoned torturing me for whatever was in the bucket. “You were supposed to put them in the running yard. Not play with them.”

  I pushed off the floor slowly and rolled my shoulders. “The gate didn’t latch the whole way.” I muttered.

  “Right. If you want one all you gotta do is asked.” Glory led the puppies into the yard and latched the gate behind her. She gave each puppy one of whatever was in the bucket and then stepped out, latching the gate firmly again.

  “Don’t have time just yet.” I said, “And I’d rather a Dane puppy anyway, when I do have time. North has a skate in July, another in August, and an international in September and November. Then there’s Boston in January.”

  “You know we can watch the dog while you’re gone. You’re only gone for what, four to five days at a time?”

  “That’s still a lot of time for a puppy to be without his mommy.” I said and walked with her back to the kennel kitchen.

  “True. Jan has the pressure washer hooked up. So we’re ready to go. She’ll wash then we’ll go in and sweep everything into the drain. Then James comes in with the sanitizer and wipes everything down. Jan will finish before James gets four done, so she’ll move to give James a hand. Once we’re done, we’ll go check on the bowls and toys to make sure they’re clean before setting up the kennels again.”

  “Easy, peasy.” I said.

  “Sure. Let’s get started then.” Glory handed me a brush that looked like it belongs to a car wash. “Where’s North today?”

  I stepped into the Jan washed kennel with her and shrugged. “Said he was doing some art at the studio today. I’m to call him there if I need him for anything.”

  “Sounds serious.” Glory replied with a smile.

  I shook my head. “Just friendly. North would rather I call him to change a light bulb than for me to stand on the ladder myself.”

  “In that scenario, I’d rather you called him too.” Glory looked up from her brush to me. “You can’t tell me you’re not in a relationship with North. You guys practically do everything together.”

  “He’s just being friendly.” I replied. “I coach him. It’s important we have a cordial relationship.”

  Glory snorted. “Bullshit.”

  “What?” I looked at her back puzzled.

  “I’m calling bullshit. I know you, a lot better than you realize I do. Why are you holding back from North?”

  I could only stare at my sister. I barely saw Glory now a days and she presumed… Was it really a presumption though?

  She glanced over her shoulder and smiled wickedly. “I have eyes, big sister. I would say he asks you to call because he wants to be in your company and probably doesn’t know how to say it. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed yet.”

  “I like his company.” I said slowly. “He’s very talented.”

  “I’m sure.” Glory snorted again and I shot her a dirty look she couldn’t see.

  “Get your head out of your ass and use it to think for a minute. He’s a very talented skater and artist that has a bright prospective future in either career goal. A future I don’t have in either field but in a generically boring field of finance and accounting.”

  Glory cut me off, “He owns a website that sells stuff right? So he needs someone good with numbers anyway. Why not you?”

  I growled at her. “You’re not listening to me.�
��

  “Sure I am. You’re not listening to yourself apparently. North owns a business. All businesses need an accountant at some point in time. It’s not a boring field if you’re good at numbers, and sister of mine, you’re so good with numbers it’s scary. Since he’s going to school for ceramics, have you ever considered the thought he’s not planning on skating professionally? That skating is something that he’s doing right now because the moment is available right now. Has he mentioned skating after the Olympics?”

  I opened my mouth to answer and shut it again. I couldn’t answer any of her questions. Because the truth was I didn’t know. I hadn’t asked; I had only assumed. And I had assumed because skating had been my all-encompassing activity–I hadn’t really considered North’s ceramics as a career but a hobby.

  Glory clucked her tongue. “You know. I can do this without you. Maybe you should walk over to North’s studio and offer to take a look at his books as a friendly gesture of course. You probably haven’t told him you’ll have your associates by the end of June.”

  “I can’t just pop in.”

  “Why not? Doesn’t he just pop in on you?”

  “Well, it’s just…assumed, because of the skating rink…”

  Glory sighed, “Sometimes you worry me. Get out. We don’t have any Dane puppies that haven’t been reserved. I’ll keep you in mind with the next litter. Now, get out.”

  “But…”

  Glory turned and snatched the brush out of my hands. “Get, go. Shoo. What more do you want?”

  “Fine. Fine.” I stalked out of the kennel and shouted over my shoulder, “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to go see North.”

  I passed Avala on the way out.

  “Hey, Hadley…” She began and I threw my hands up.

  “I’ve been kicked out. I’ll be back later. Maybe.” I stalked out passed the Dane kennel and into the staging area for the farming then cut across the grass to the skating rink. I changed my mind, and stalked passed the rink out to the lake.

  The forty-degree weather was too cold for swimming or much of anything other than enjoying the fact the snow was done. I sat down on a wide stump and looked out over the water. It was a good thinking spot.

  Glory, as much as I loved her, was still a child. She still dreamed in happily ever after’s, even if she’d punch anyone that accused her of it. I knew happily ever after’s were only for storybooks. I lost hope in them a long time ago.

  She had, however, brought up some valid points. I had no idea what North’s goals were after the Olympics. I had no idea if he intended on continuing to skate or focus on school. It was something I should probably figure out.

  “Hi.”

  I jumped at the voice in my ear and cursed as I over balanced. The laughed and hands on my waist were familiar enough that I huffed out a breath.

  I turned my head to look at North. “What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be doing school work?”

  He rolled his shoulders. “Needed a break. Wesley came in with orders and was making a racket.”

  “You can use the empty apartment for drawing space if you’d like.” I offered without thinking about it and then frowned internally at the offer. It hadn’t even occurred to me not to offer. What did the lack of hesitation in offering my personal space for him to use mean?

  “No, it gives me an excuse to get air. I thought you were helping with the kennels today.”

  He tugged lightly on my ponytail before sitting next to me on the greening grass. He leaned his head against my leg, and I automatically dropped a hand to the top of his head. When had we become so comfortable with each other? Did it even matter when?

  “Glory kicked me out, so I decided to take a walk.” I answered the unasked question.

  We sat in companionable silence while I chewed over my conversation with Glory. It wouldn’t hurt to ask would it? What’s the worse he could say? No?

  “You know I’m pretty good with numbers.” I hedged slowly.

  North laughed lightly. “Yeah, I know. I would say you and Wesley are like peas in a pod, but your skills far outpace his.”

  “Why haven’t you asked me to help you with your shop?” I blurted out before I could change my mind. “You’re always telling me to call and ask you for help but you never ask me for help.”

  “I suppose I could. Wesley does it for the most part.” North leaned into my hand. “I guess I never thought about asking because I didn’t want to be a burden to you.”

  I left the silence stretch between us. It wasn’t tense, or uncomfortable by definition. But I was very good at disappointed silence. I had learned the skill from my father, one of the only things I’ve found useful.

  “Hadley,” North turned and looked up at me with a wicked smile, “Would you like to come over and look at what Wesley has set up and help me out with my accounting reports?”

  I smiled and leaned down enough to kiss his nose. “Yes. I’d like to.”

  Spring faded into summer a lot faster than I had expected. Living in Georgia had dulled my experience with seasonal changes. I was used to summer all year and had expected spring to be some lengthy experience between the hot I was used to and the cold I had learned to hate from just one winter.

  North was acting strange. Or stranger than I was accustomed. I wasn’t sure if it was the newly warm weather or something else. Algebra had started with the new semester and I knew he was struggling but I didn’t think the zombie version of North had anything to do with Algebra.

  The rink, despite the eighty degree outside was a cool sixty five. I still wore shorts but I had worn shorts all winter. North was in practice gear and currently lying on the ice from a fallen Axel, again. He was distracted and whatever was causing it was affecting his performance.

  “North.” I called out.

  “Give me a second and I’ll get up and try again.” He called back without moving.

  “No. We’re done today. I need you to be able to move tomorrow. You’ll be bruised to hell and back as it is.”

  “I can do this, Hadley.”

  “I have no doubt you can. Just not today.” I held my calm face when North reached my end of the rink and scowled at me. “Go shower and we can go for a walk or swim in the pool for a little bit.”

  “I can do this.” North insisted.

  “What’s distracting you?” I asked him directly.

  North rolled his shoulders. “Summer Skate is a Grand Prix event.”

  “Yes. And it’s going to be hard and need your full focus.”

  “It’s got me nervous, is all. And Algebra is keeping me up late, and I’m not doing much better in Physics.”

  “I hated sciences, all of them, so I can’t help with physics.” I relented a little. Math was often hard for the creative souls. “Bring your Algebra homework over and I can help you with it. I’m a pretty good tutor.”

  “It’s upstairs.”

  “Go shower, and bring it out to the picnic table. We’ll sit and get some sun and work at the same time.”

  “Thanks, Hadley.”

  “North,” I waited for him to turn and face me. “Don’t ever feel like you can’t ask me for help.”

  He nodded and gave me a saucy smile before stepping off the ice to go clean up.

  North

  When Hadley had told me a Grand Prix event would be the hardest event I ever did, I hadn’t taken her seriously. After the six-day event, with every muscle weeping and fatigue eating at the edges of my vision, I understood exactly what she had meant.

  She had been characteristically silent as we packed up to leave. Her silence often conveyed disappointment, but I wasn’t sure if that’s what I felt this time or if it was my imagination. Second place still wasn’t first but it was still a podium position. As the days grew longer, I had made the decision I would never be what my mother had been and that was okay. I hadn’t considered if Hadley would be okay with my mediocre.

  I waited until we were at the gate for the plane to go home before I
broached the subject with her. “I feel like you’re angry at me.”

  Hadley shook her head before closing her eyes and resting it against my shoulder. “I guess I just expect more from you. It’s my failing I suppose to expect you to be better than you actually are.”

  “Second place is still good. It’s not like I’m eighth.” The eighth place disaster would always be my benchmark for worst skating ever.

  “I just feel like if you could apply yourself a little more you’d be first. Just a little more focus from you and less nerves and you’d be on top every time, not a step down.”

  “But it’s a single step down,” I argued. “It’s not like I’m not on the podium at all. I’m a lot better than I was because of you. I wouldn’t have even made it this far without you. We’re doing damn good for a first season.”

  “I suppose.” Hadley replied without moving.

  I sighed. “I don’t have your background, Hadley. If I did, then maybe, just maybe, I could reach where you had stood once upon a time. The only things I have are the basics from my mother and you.”

  “You’re right of course.” Hadley responded tiredly. “I’m sorry. If you’re happy with second then that’s fine. This is your dream, North. You have to do the work and I’m only the guide.”

  I put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed lightly. “I had lost hope of ever making it this far, Hadley. Yes, I’m happy with what I have; it’s more than I would have ever had without you.”

  “Then that’s all that matters.”

  It didn’t feel that way, but I let it go. The crowded airport wasn’t a place to get into an intense argument. Hadley, didn’t seem to have the strength for it anyway.

  Hadley slept most of the six-hour flight home. I had learned on the flight in that she had an airsickness that rivaled most people’s seasickness. If she wasn’t asleep, she was clammy and green, and appeared to be on the verge of vomiting at any second.

  The sickness made her frailer than I already thought she was. I knew she was strong–she lived after all in a skating rink that caused her near daily pain sometimes–but I knew she could still be easily broken. The spun glass Wesley had spoken about.