by Aubrey Cara
Her peace was annoyingly broken throughout the day by stray thoughts of Caleb. She analyzed everything he'd said to her during their time together. Did he care about her more than she realized? She longed to be special to Caleb. She didn't want to be just another woman to him.
After she made herself crazy thinking about all the things he'd said to her, she made herself ridiculously aroused replaying everything he'd done to her. All stinkin' day she wondered if he was thinking about her. Stupidly, she even took extra care in getting ready for work tonight, knowing he'd be stopping in.
Now every time the front door of Rusty Spur opened she practically held her breath waiting for Caleb to stroll in. She realized he hadn't said what time he was dropping by. She realized he may not come in at all. And wasn't she just being foolish for getting excited about getting to see him?
Thankfully the bar was busier than normal for a Sunday night, but that wasn't saying much. The place would still be mostly cleared out by ten-thirty.
“You seem preoccupied.”
Kat jumped. She hadn't heard Mimi come up behind her. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“Thus proving my point. You wanna talk about it?” Mimi asked.
“Not really. Not without consuming some of these drinks we're serving tonight. And I don't think John would appreciate us stealing a bottle of whiskey for a girl talk.”
“Wow, you need a girl talk and whiskey? Sounds ominous.”
“Hey kitten, look what I found.” Kat turned to see the sexy object of her thoughts, Caleb, standing at the bar. Wearing a black, long sleeved t-shirt pulled tight across his broad chest and jeans slung low on his hips, he looked much like he had the first night she met him. Her perusal of his manly self was cut short when he held up a phone with a very familiar cover.
She forgot all her previous angst and the fact that she was glad to see him and squealed in delight as she reached for her phone. His grin lit his face and she wished the bar wasn't between them so she could throw herself at him.
“Where did you find it?” she said, clutching her phone to her chest.
“It was in your car.”
“My car? Do you have it? Is it fixed?”
“Yes, no, and no,” he said. “I spent the afternoon at Mason Coleman's house. That is my friend who owns the auto repair shop. One of his guys saw the phone on the floor of the backseat. That's the good news.”
“What's the bad news?”
“You need a new starter.”
“Ugh, how much is that going to cost?”
Someone at the bar asked for a beer and Kat practically growled at the customer. She'd just spent half her savings on going back to Boston for Thanksgiving. A trip she wished she'd skipped out on after her mother spent the three days Kat had been there pointing out all the things she was doing wrong with her life. She couldn't afford getting a shoestring put on her car, let alone a starter.
She moved to get the guy at the bar his drink, but Mimi was already grabbing it for him. Kat turned her attention back to Caleb, who was giving her an appraising look.
“I missed you last night,” he said.
She shrugged, suddenly feeling shy and awkward. She had mastered the fake bar flirt, but the real thing seemed to elude her. As much as his words warmed her she wasn't sure if she was ready to admit how much she had wished he'd gone home with her the night before.
“Not sick of me yet, huh?”
“Not by a longshot, kitten.” Pitching his voice low, as not to be overheard he said, “If anything, our short time together made me crave you all the more.”
She flushed, instantly aroused with just a few words from the dratted man. Casting a glance to the side she caught Mimi filling a glass with beer on tap. She looked over at Kat with a smirk and raised eyebrow. Kat blushed even harder knowing her friend had probably overheard what Caleb had said.
Groaning, she said, “Can I get you something to drink or did you just come in to give me my phone and make me uncomfortable?”
“I'll take a beer. And for the record, I came in to see you. Giving you your phone and making you uncomfortable was just a side benefit,” he said with a wink, perching himself on a barstool.
“Lucky me,” Kat sassed. “Can you do me a favor and make it a little less obvious we're sleeping together?”
“So, what? I can't kiss you or call you kitten at the ranch, and now you don't want any of the fine patrons of Rusty Spur to get the wrong idea about us? If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were ashamed of me. It's enough to bruise a man's ego.”
“You're infuriating.”
Just then Mimi came up and poked her in the ribs. “I hate to interrupt,” Mimi said. “But I forgot to tell you my big news.”
When Mimi didn't elaborate, Kat made a go on with it motion, and Mimi said, “You're looking at the new business manager for Coleman Automotive. I just put in my two weeks.” She made a squeal of excitement and said, “We can finally have that girls night and I won't feel bad going out. This is a celebration.”
Kat whooped a fist in the air and gave Mimi a hug. “That is big news,” Kat said. “We're finally going to get to hang out outside of this bar!”
“And go hit up other bars?” Caleb interjected.
Kat and Mimi nodded. “Yeah basically,” Mimi said with a huge grin.
“This place isn't going to be the same without you,” Kat said.
“I can always see if they have any open positions at Coleman,” Mimi said. “You have a shiny business degree you could dust off. Come join us office drudges.”
Kat rolled her eyes. “You haven't even started yet, and you're already recruiting?”
Mimi shrugged. “It was worth a shot. We'd have fun working together.”
“It would be fun, outside the fact that I'm getting hives just thinking about being stuck in an office all day.”
“You may want to rethink her offer,” Caleb said to Kat. “At least in an office your life expectancy would be better. I wouldn't have to worry about your next accident on the ranch. I've been half expecting to hear you've been trampled by a herd of cattle.”
“Awe, you care,” Kat said, with hands over her heart.
He winked and took a sip of his beer.
Kat had accepted the office life was not the life for her. If only her friends and family would get on board with her decision. She knew everyone was just worried about the fact that she was twenty-six and still floundering, but that was all about to change. Her floundering days were over. Talking to Caleb's mom Gigi yesterday had given Kat some clarity. She now had a sense of direction. She was sure her mom and sister were going to hate what she had planned for herself, but that was too bad.
A regular at the end of the bar called out for another beer, distracting Kat.
An hour later Caleb was still at the bar nursing a beer and flirting with her when she wasn't serving customers. She was on the opposite end of the bar filling an order. She could hear him talking to one of the regulars in the background. They were arguing about old versus new rock bands, of all things. And the old regular was arguing in favor of the newer bands. That made her giggle.
She was popping a top on a beer and handing it over when Mimi sidled up to Kat. Mimi muttered, “I never thought I'd see the day Cecilia Beckham willingly came into Rusty Spur.”
Kat looked up to see one of the most beautiful women she'd ever seen in real life. She was a leggy brunette, with class and style. The woman was runway model stunning. The kind of beauty that needed no cosmetic enhancement. She made pageant-ready women like adulterous Lindsey look tacky and fake. Kat didn't need to know brands or designers to know this Cecilia chick's outfit probably cost more than Kat's monthly rent. She wore designer everything, from her cashmere slouch sweater to trendy knee boots. Hell, those boots alone would probably make her rent.
“Who is she?” Kat asked.
“Heiress of Beckham Oil,” Mimi said.
“Like the gas stations, Beckham Oil?” Kat asked incredul
ously.
“That's the one. We were the same year in high school, but she went to fancy prep schools back east. I never had any interactions with her, but she's kind of known for being a cold, calculating bitch. Last I heard she was running her own fashion company, Lady Avonlea.”
“Holy crap. Even I have heard of Lady Avonlea.” It was a huge, high-end evening gown and wedding wear brand that personified elegance. “I wonder what she's doing here?”
The woman looked around the bar for a moment in distaste until her eyes locked onto something or someone that made her smile. Kat stood mesmerized, completely lost in watching this woman. Cecilia flipped her long, silky locks over her shoulder and the mass seemed to fall artfully in slow-mo. Kat was impressed as she watched Cecilia gracefully stride across the bar. Then the air got knocked out of her.
It felt like a steer on the ranch had kicked her in the solar plexus. A kick to the gut probably wouldn't have hurt any less than seeing this example of female perfection wrap herself around Caleb. Cecilia took his mouth in a kiss that claimed a familiarity Kat didn't even feel after all the intimacy they shared that weekend.
Kat's head was filled with white noise. From a distance she heard Mimi curse. She watched as a very shocked Caleb pushed Cecilia away. She heard Cecilia call Caleb Hawk and stroke his face before Caleb grabbed her hand. Whatever Caleb said made Cecilia look over at Kat.
Like a deer caught in the headlights she knew she should move. Blink. Pretend confidence. Anything but stand there looking pathetic and slightly nauseous. She wished she could shrink down or turn invisible.
A patronizing, smug grin spread across Cecilia's face making the woman look much like the wicked Maleficent. It was the look of a general who may have lost a battle but was confident she'd win the war. Which wasn't far off from the truth. Kat suddenly felt like the Bad News Bears up against the Red Sox. She didn't have a chance in hell of winning, and everyone in the bar knew it.
Cecilia trailed her fingers across Caleb's chest. Then she slightly turned her head in Kat's direction and winked. The wink made Kat's vision haze red for a moment.
As Cecilia was leaving she called out, “Give me a call sometime when you're free, Hawk. I didn't get to see enough of you by half three months ago after Jake's wedding.”
Three months ago rang in Kat's ears. Caleb had said he hadn't been with anyone in a year when he'd just been with madam goddess, oil heiress, only three months ago.
The pain that slashed across Kat's chest felt so real she reached up to rub the spot. Cecilia had just come in and staked a claim on the only man Kat had ever wanted. A man that had lied to her. A man that she had foolishly lusted after for months. A man that she had grown way too close to in the time they had spent together. She couldn't countenance the foolish sense of betrayal she felt with the man that had teased her. Laughed with her. Made love to her.
Not love, she reminded herself. Kat had been his partner of the moment. One of many. She had tried to protect herself but she'd done the stupidest thing she could have possibly done when sleeping with a man like Caleb McCrae. She had let herself hope.
Tears stung her eyes and she worked at blinking them back. Someone coughed and she became instantly aware of all the eyes on her, including Caleb's tormented gaze. She did the only logical thing she could think to do in this kind of crushing situation. She grabbed a half empty beer bottle off the bar and whipped it at Caleb's head. She turned, flipping up the end of the bar as she heard the bottle smack and shatter.
He cursed, “Dammit Kat.”
Not turning, she raised her hand in a one finger salute as she strode toward the back of the bar. She had gotten to the dark hallway and was in front of the bathrooms when a strong, familiar hand wrapped around her arm, turning her to face Caleb. The front of his shirt was wet. She smiled in hollow satisfaction knowing that at least her projectile had hit its intended mark.
*** ***
He'd been too rocked by the look of utter devastation on Kat's face to move when she threw the beer bottle at him. Fucking Cecilia Beckham. Kat looked pissed and near tears and he couldn't understand why. Okay, he could kind of understand. Cecilia had kissed him in full view of everyone including her. As caught off guard as he had been he'd still managed to pushed himself free of Cecilia in record time. He'd told her he was seeing Kat. Obviously Cecilia's damn presence had already done damage.
Caleb strengthened his grip on Kat's arm when she tried to jerk away. Her beautiful whiskey colored eyes were filled with so much pain and anger he wished he could throw Cecilia out the window of a tall building.
“Hey, no need to run out.” he said.
“You're right. Why should I want to go hide out in the backroom? I shouldn't be feeling humiliation or heartache at all. I had no claim to you. One weekend of sex does not a relationship make.”
Her words sliced at him. A relationship was exactly what he was hoping this weekend had started. “It's not what you think,” he said. The excuse sounded lame to his own ears, but it was the truth. There wasn't anything between him and Cecilia.
“Really Hawk, why don't you tell me what I think?”
“It's my military call-name. Years ago she happened to be in the same city as me and some of the guys from my unit. She heard one of them call me Hawk. For whatever reason it stuck. It doesn't mean anything. Cecilia means nothing to me. ”
“Did you not hear yourself? Years ago Caleb. Years ago, as in you've probably been fucking her for years. You've definitely been banging her long enough she felt comfortable walking up to you and shoving her tongue down your throat in the middle of a bar.”
“Fine, what do you want me to say? I fucked her. She'd call me every once in a while, and if we were in the same city, she'd come and ride my dick. But I've never met her friends or meant anything to her. And other than that one time she's never met anyone that meant anything to me. She and I were never a 'thing'. She doesn't mean shit to me.”
“Bitter much?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Your tone. It implies you wished you had meant something to her.”
Caleb scrubbed a hand over his face in frustration. He'd been dying to see Kat all damn day. One night of holding her in his arms had not been enough. How had this night gone to crap so quickly? Maybe he had been bitter once over being put on the shelf by Cecilia. Years ago, that is. When he'd been young and let his dick take the lead. Since then he'd come to see Cecilia as the selfish, cold bitch she was. He'd dodged a bullet never falling for that woman.
“When have you ever known me to imply anything?” he practically growled. “I say what I mean and I mean what I say.”
“Oh, like when you said you hadn't been with anyone but me in a year? Cecilia said she saw you three months ago.” A tear ran down Kat's cheek and Caleb wanted to punch his fist through a wall.
“I saw her three months ago for a second. I was too obsessed with a certain redhead for anything between her and I to happen. You have to know that.”
“Do I have to know that Hawk? I guess that's the thing, huh? I don't really know you at all. Not nearly as much as Cecilia.”
Caleb cursed at Kat's bitter tone. He didn't know what to say to make things better. Caleb felt like he'd stumbled across an IED that was about to explode and there was no time to take cover.
“So, tell me Caleb. Now that I'm in the rotation of women you fuck—what happens when you get tired of me?”
“God dammit, Kat! You're not—“
She slashed her hand through the air, not letting him finish. She jerked her arm out of his grip, backing away from him. “I don't want to hear it Caleb. I'm not going to be your consolation prize because you didn't get your first choice.”
“You are my first choice.”
When she stubbornly crossed her arms and didn't say anything Caleb shook his head, getting even more pissed off. She was going to ruin what they had over some stupid woman, because Kat was feeling insecure. “So that's it? You're g
oing to shut me out 'cause you're all ass-hurt over some princess bitch that means nothing to me? That's bullshit, Kat. I expected more from you.”
“Funny,” she said, tears now rolling down both cheeks in a steady stream. “This is exactly what I expected from you.”
She turned to leave and Caleb grabbed her by both arms, whipping her around to face him.“Kat, you will not shut me out.”
He slanted his mouth over hers, kissing her with all the frustration and desire rolling through him. Willing her through his kiss to understand what she already meant to him. He pulled back to cradle her face in his hands. His thumbs swiped at her tears, but they just kept raining down.
She wrapped her hands around his wrists and looked up at him. Her eyes nearly looked black in the dark hallway. He could still see the war she was waging with herself in her gaze.
“Kitten—”
“Westminster,” she said. It came out so quiet it didn't register at first.
His head reeled like she'd smacked him in the face.“What?”
“Westminster,” she said, jerking out of his arms.
He put his hands up and gave her space, but still asked, “You'd rather safeword than talk to me? You're not being rational.”
“I am,” she said calmly even though her face was wet with tears. “I am thinking rationally. For once I am. That's why I know whatever it was we started ends here. While I still mean nothing to you, and you mean nothing to me.”
She turned and went through the door marked 'Employees Only', closing it softly behind her. He flinched at the lack of sound. His ears rang like an explosion had just gone off. She was wrong. He knew she was wrong. She had to care. A woman wouldn't be as broken up as Kat was if she didn't care. She was just hurt and scared, but that didn't make him any less screwed.
The only woman he'd ever cared about had just gutted him with a few words. He felt hollowed out. Nothing he could say would make her realize how much she meant to him. How much he wanted her in his life.