by J. H. Croix
There was the possessive streak again. I shook my thoughts away, telling myself to give her more time. I soaked in the view as I navigated the short drive outside of downtown Willow Brook. I didn’t think I’d ever get tired of the view here. It was late afternoon. Even with the clouds hanging low, Swan Lake was beautiful. Swans had returned for the spring and were floating on its surface. In the distance, the mountains rose through the clouds with Denali rising tall above everything else.
Snow still sat on its peak, and from what I understood, it would be there all summer. Turning down Susannah’s driveway, I rolled to a stop beside her car.
In short order, I had carried all the groceries inside, completely ignoring her plea that she could deal with it. Closing the refrigerator, I turned to face her.
She stood by the counter, her hands curled over the edge. Her strawberry hair was damp from the drizzle, and her cheeks were flushed. Damn. She was so fucking beautiful. I ran the math in my head, calculating she was almost eight weeks pregnant now. Emotion rocked me. If I didn’t know her body so well by this point, I might not notice the soft curve of her belly. But I did.
If you’d told me it would turn me on to have a woman pregnant with my baby, I’d have told you were flat insane. I’d have been wrong, so very wrong. Whether it was specific to Susannah or not, I had no clue. All I knew was I wanted her like mad.
Stepping to her, I leaned my hands against the counter on either side of her, caging her in my arms. Closing my eyes for a beat, I breathed in the scent of her.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Ward
Susannah held still for a beat, her body tensing slightly. Lifting my head, my gaze collided with hers—her wide blue eyes with her strawberry blonde lashes brushing against her cheeks. The air around us felt heavy, weighted with the need that vibrated between us whenever we were close to each other.
I was relieved, if only to know she was perhaps as powerfully drawn to me as I was to her. I’d never claim to know what was in her mind. Certainly not what was in her heart. Yet, I knew what I felt physically with her. It was a force of its own, beyond my control.
I’d recognized it four years ago, that single night we shared. That was why I’d given into it. Because I knew its depth and its power, and I wanted a taste of it. Foolishly and arrogantly, I’d thought I had the perfect way to face it without getting drawn too deeply inside its centrifugal force. One night and then we’d never see each other again. Easy. So I’d thought.
For a second time, my arrogance led me into the maelstrom. Here I was now, nearly a slave to my need for Susannah. There was no such thing as enough when it came to her. I doubted I could ever slake my need. It ran deep as a river in my veins, permeating every fiber of my being.
Lifting a hand, I brushed a few loose curls off of her cheek. I even loved the way her hair felt—silky soft with a mind of its own, always curling here and there. She wasn’t one to style her hair. Rather, she just let it do its thing, and I loved it. I’d have probably hated if she tried to tidy it. Her hair reminded me of her when she let her guard down – wild and unrestrained.
When I tucked those curls behind her ear, she leaned toward me as my hand slid around to cup her nape. I couldn’t not touch her when we were this close. My thumb brushed idly along the side of her neck, feeling the rapid beat of her pulse. Another wash of relief rolled through me. Because I couldn’t be close to her without my heart beating like a drum. I didn’t care to be alone, caught in the storm of desire by myself.
“How are you?” I murmured.
Her eyelids had dropped, and they flicked back up, a slight smile curling the corners of her mouth. Her teeth snagged the side of her bottom lip. Fuck me. Just that simple sight—her teeth denting the plump pillow of her lip, and my cock hardened even further.
“I’m fine,” she said with a soft laugh. “I suppose we forgot that part.”
Recalling I had forgotten to ask how she was doing earlier and the reason why sent a lingering jolt of fury through me. Chad being a fucking asshole, and my irrational jealousy that any man would notice her. Shaking those thoughts away, I focused on the feel of her close to me, sliding my palm down her spine to palm her lush bottom and arching into the apex between her thighs. The feel of the damp heat there called to me.
“I suppose we did forget. So you’re feeling okay? Any more morning sickness?”
Her teeth released her lip, and I was ridiculously disappointed. I was so attuned to everything about her, my responses were heightened.
She shook her head slightly. “Nope, just a little queasy here and there. How are you?”
I’d almost lost focus, what with her pressed against me, her warm, lush curves right there. Lifting a shoulder in a shrug, I replied, “Fine. Other than Chad being an ass.”
With a roll of her eyes, she shook her head slightly. “I can deal with him. He’s not from around here, so I’m sure he’ll move on soon. Seeing as he can’t get work at Willow Brook Fire & Rescue, he doesn’t have many options here.”
As she spoke, she uncurled a hand from around the edge of the counter, her fingers toying with the buttons on my shirt.
“Are we done with that?” I asked.
“With what?”
“You know, being polite.”
Her eyes darkening, she nodded, her tongue darting out to moisten her lips.
“Good,” I growled before fitting my mouth over hers and giving in to the need thundering through me with such force I could hardly think.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Susannah
In a matter of seconds, I was burning up inside. That was how enslaved I was to my body and to the need I simply could not deny. I couldn’t get enough of Ward. I doubted I ever would.
Our tongues tangled in a hot, wet, wild kiss that nearly brought me to my knees. Thank God I was leaning against the counter and Ward was holding me close. I could feel the hard, hot length of his shaft pressing against my lower belly. His hand cupped my bottom, holding me tight against him.
My panties were soaked and had been the entire drive home. All I could think about was getting here and getting naked. In that vein, there were far too many layers between us.
Tearing my lips free from his, I made quick work of the buttons on his shirt. In a rare exception, he wasn’t wearing a T-shirt today, but rather a worn, soft flannel button-down. I sighed at the feel of his warm skin under my touch, my hands mapping his chest and trailing down over the rippling muscles of his abdomen.
As I tore at the buttons of his jeans, he made even quicker work of my blouse. Unlike me, he didn’t bother to deal with the buttons. He simply tore at it, buttons pinging on the tile floor in my kitchen. Flicking my eyes up to his, I murmured, “Just ruin my blouse, why don’t you?”
Entirely unrepentant, he lifted one of his muscled shoulders in a shrug with a sly grin, his eyes flashing silver. It said something that even a shrug was sexy when Ward did it.
I grinned because I couldn’t help it, and then he was lifting me up, yanking my jeans down as he did. Somehow in a matter of seconds, he had all of my clothes off except for my panties. He lifted me up onto the counter behind me, the cool tile a balm to the heat licking through my entire body.
With his mouth on one of my nipples and his thumb teasing the other, I was panting and gasping hoarsely. His teeth scored my nipple lightly, and I cried out, tangling my fingers in his hair. I reached between us, tearing the buttons of his fly open, relieved he didn’t bother with briefs or boxers most of the time. The hot velvety skin of his cock felt so good as I curled my palm around it, shoving his jeans down around his hips to gain better access.
“Fuck, Susannah,” he murmured. “You make me crazy.”
Ward lifted his head, his stormy gaze snagging mine as his hand trailed down over my belly, his fingers dragging across the wet silk between my thighs.
“God, I love how wet you get. How long have you been like this?”
My emotions raw, nothing but nee
d driving me, I answered honestly. “Since I saw you.”
His smoky gaze darkened further. He didn’t say anything, he simply shoved my panties out of the way and sank two fingers inside me, knuckle deep. I was so wet and so ready, I whimpered in relief. But it wasn’t enough. I needed him filling me, stretching me, making me forget everything but him and the connection between us.
“I need you,” I gasped.
He didn’t hesitate, stepping back slightly. He gripped his cock in his fist and dragged it through my folds, coating it in my juices. His eyes caught mine again. “You want this?”
Sensation was flying through me, sparks scattering through my entire body. I felt molten inside and out. Unable to tear away from his gaze or to form words, I merely nodded, rocking my hips toward him. He dragged his cock up and down again, teasing over my slippery wet clit.
“You’re going to have to say it.”
“Yes,” I finally cried out, somehow managing to form that one single word with my lips.
“Watch,” he ordered.
Only then did he break his gaze free of mine, looking down between us. I simply did as he asked, my eyes following his. His cock was a thing of beauty—hard and thick, glistening from my desire. Without even a hint of self-consciousness, he slid his fist up and down his cock as I watched. A drop of pre-cum rolled out of the tip, falling onto my belly.
I didn’t know how it was physically possible to need him more, but I did. That simple sight nearly pushed me over the edge, my channel clenching and throbbing.
“Ward, please. I need you.”
“Right here,” he murmured.
I became the demanding one, ordering him. “I need you inside me. Now.”
“All you had to do was ask,” he growled as he sank into me.
Crying out, I arched back as he gripped my hips, pulling me closer to the edge of the counter. He held still, and I sighed at the feel of the delicious stretch of him filling me completely.
“Susannah.”
Managing to drag my eyes open, I found his gaze waiting. My heart gave a hard thump. The moment was so intense and so intimate, I could hardly bear it. Yet, I did. Because with his eyes there and his body surrounding me, I felt safe.
After holding still for a few beats, he finally drew his hips back. He set a steady rhythm, drawing back and sinking in—again and again, a slow pull and slide. I was so drenched, so overcome with need, it was only a few strokes and then I flew apart, pleasure crashing over me with a wave so hard and intense, I lost sight of everything but Ward and the feel of him.
Distantly, I heard myself crying his name repeatedly. Amidst the aftershocks of my own pleasure, I felt his body tighten and then the heat of his release pouring into me with a final surge. Savoring my name on his lips, I watched as he lost control.
His head fell to my shoulder, his breath gusting against my skin. We stayed like that with me held tight in his embrace. I didn’t want to ever move and probably wouldn’t have were it not for the chill that raced through me eventually.
Ward lifted his head, his eyes catching mine. Without a word, he stepped back, easily lifting me in his arms and carrying me into the shower with him.
I was getting too comfortable with this, yet I liked it too much to try to create any distance just now.
Chapter Thirty
Ward
Sitting in the doctor’s office, I rested my elbows on my knees and resisted the urge to twist my hands together. Damn. This was an entirely new experience for me. Glancing around the small examination room, I took in the space. There was a table, on which Susannah currently sat, with crinkly white paper on it and those foot stirrups that men only heard about.
Well, unless they were an expectant father and attending one of these appointments. Beyond the table, there was a counter behind it with a small sink, a giant bottle of disinfectant and boxes of what I imagined to be all kinds of medical odds and ends. The walls were covered with posters about what to expect at different stages of pregnancy. Aside from the chair I currently occupied, there was a stool on wheels with an attached table. The entire space felt sterile and chilly.
Susannah sat on the table in a thin cotton gown that tied behind her neck. Her legs were bare, but she’d kept her socks on, which was strangely endearing. At the moment, her feet were swinging back and forth idly. Her eyes flicked to mine and then away before she brushed a loose lock of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear.
“What’s your doctor‘s name?” I asked.
“Dr. Jenkins.”
“How well do you know her?”
I suddenly had a host of questions about Susannah’s doctor, none of which were likely any of my business. Yet, this was the doctor who was overseeing her pregnancy. I suddenly cared. A lot.
Susannah’s gaze caught mine again, and she rolled her eyes. “She’s been my doctor since I was a teenager. It’s fine for you to be here, but don’t go thinking I would change doctors if you asked. I trust her, and I’m comfortable with her,” she said firmly.
I couldn’t help but chuckle. It was as if she’d read my mind. Not that I’d been planning to ask her to change doctors, but it was important for her to have a good doctor.
“I wouldn’t consider it,” I finally managed.
“Liar,” Susannah retorted with a grin.
At that moment, the door to the examination room opened, and Dr. Jenkins stepped through. She wore a white lab coat, as expected, with her name embroidered on it in purple lettering. Her dark hair was pulled back in a tight twist with streaks of silver shot through it. She wore glasses and had sharp brown eyes.
“Hello Susannah,” she said with a slight smile. “I understand from Jane in reception that you have company today.” Her gaze spun to me, her eyes far too perceptive for my comfort. She turned, stepping to me and holding out her hand. “Dr. Jenkins.”
I stood and reached out to shake her hand. She shook hands like she spoke, strong and firm. Everything about her screamed matter-of-fact and no-nonsense.
It suddenly occurred to me that she might care that Susannah‘s baby was the product of what was supposed to have been a one night stand. I hoped it counted for something that I was here.
Once I was standing, I didn’t quite know what to do with myself and stuffed my hands in my pockets after Dr. Jenkins released my hand. It only belatedly occurred to me I hadn’t returned her introduction. If that didn’t tell you how fucked up I was inside my head, I didn’t know what would.
“Ward, Ward Taylor,” I offered belatedly.
When my eyes flicked to Susannah, her cheeks were pink. It occurred to me she might be just as uncomfortable with this as I was. Not for the first time, I wished I knew how to navigate this.
Dr. Jenkins simply nodded with a friendly smile and turned to start checking on Susannah. Meanwhile, my mind wandered off temporarily.
See the thing was, I had no idea how to do this. I knew exactly what I wanted, but Susannah’s walls weren’t making it easy. I could fight fires, save lives, lift all kinds of heavy things… Yet, fighting to get Susannah to accept she was meant to be mine. Well, not so easy. Even while I was confident in what I wanted, it didn’t help that I had no experience to speak of.
My own father didn’t hang around too long. He managed the sperm donor part just fine. He’d also set himself up quite well in the divorce from my mother. I supposed it had been smart to marry into money. That was round one of father role models for me.
Role model two was my stepfather, Dwight’s father. He’d thought he was smart by marrying into money. But my mother wasn’t so foolish anymore. She hadn’t been so cynical as to avoid marriage altogether, but she was quite practical about the money side of things by then. My stepfather had also managed the sperm donor part just fine. Dwight came along and then when he was about five, my stepfather filed for divorce. He got his divorce, but no money. He proceeded to spend the next twelve years or so giving my mother hell, taking her back to court again and again in one
failed effort after another to finagle money out of her. Poor Dwight had to bounce back and forth between his dad and my mom. It was no wonder he was a mess inside about who and what mattered in his life.
In short, as far as learning how to be a father, my skills were limited, but I’d be damned if I’d let any child of mine grow up without a father who was very involved in their life.
Now my mother, she’d been amazing. She was a rock for me and for Dwight. I didn’t know if he would ever admit it, but the choice she made to never badmouth his father was a gift. She was there for us in every way that mattered. Dwight tied it all into money, while I would’ve given the world to have more time with her.
No such luck. I figured if I could be half as good of a father as my mother had been a mother, I might be halfway decent.
My meandering train of thought was interrupted when Dr. Jenkins said my name.
“Ward?” Her tone indicated she’d said my name more than once already.
I looked her way and nodded. “Sorry about that.” My next words surprised me. “I’ve never been to anyone else doctor’s appointment. It’s a little strange.”
Dr. Jenkins’ smile felt more than polite this time. She nodded her head towards the screen behind the examination table. While I’d been zoning out, she had Susannah laying down on the table and something between her legs. I didn’t dare ask what it was.
Dr. Jenkins gestured to the screen. “There’s your baby.”
Staring at the screen, I saw a grainy black, white, and gray image with the distinct shape of a baby curled up. Stunned speechless, I simply stared at it. When I didn’t say anything, Dr. Jenkins carried on. “So that sound you hear…” She paused looking at me, a brow raised in question. I nodded when I heard a rushing sound and a faint, but steady thump underneath it. “That’s the heartbeat,” she finished.