“What are you doing?” I yelped.
“Swimming,” he chuckled as he moved into water and sank to his knees, submerging us both. It was cold but refreshing, and I could feel heat coming from Taylor’s chest.
We spent the afternoon splashing and kissing in the water. I became braver as the hours passed. At one point, I’d wrapped my legs around his waist. We’d kissed until his erection had pressed against me to the point we knew we needed to stop. Taylor kept his promise; he’d never pushed me, but somewhere deep inside of me, I kinda wanted him to.
“Do you really mean it?” I asked. We’d gotten out of the water and were now lying in the soft grass under our tree, waiting for the sun to dry us.
“Mean what?” He absently played with my hair. I’d rested my cheek on his bare chest and could feel his heartbeat.
“Love me. Do you really?” I traced the muscles of his abs and smiled when they twitched under my fingers.
“Of course. You’re special, Morgan; I’ve never felt this way about anyone.” He pushed up on his elbows, causing me to lift my head.
I nodded as I watched him, his eyes scanning me. The green pools swam with emotions. Taylor couldn’t hide what he was thinking. He always laid everything out on the line. “I wanna be with you,” I whispered before looking away.
“What do you mean?” He sat up farther, this time enough to press his back against the trunk.
“I’ve been waiting for this for years.” I continued to avoid looking at him. This was hard to admit; I’d held my feelings in for so long. I’d liked Taylor when I was twelve. I had a crush when I was thirteen. I lusted after him at fifteen. At seventeen, I was in love.
“Waiting for what exactly.” His voice was tight. I was making him nervous, and that gave me a small sense of power.
“You.” I turned to face him. “I’ve been waiting for you.” My eyes connected with his and held their gaze for what seemed like an eternity. “I love you, too. I have for years.” I sat there waiting for him to respond with anything to tell me that he felt the same.
“Morgan,” he sighed. “I don’t know if we should.” He glanced away, breaking my stare. “Crap!” he hissed. “What the hell am I saying,” he muttered under his breath. He turned to look at me once more before he uttered the words I’d been waiting to hear, “Are you sure?”
I slowly nodded as I scooted off his lap. “I am. More than anything, I want it to be you.”
“Ok,” he swallowed as he fidgeted. I’d never seen him like this. “Where are we gonna do this,” he mumbled. “Don’t answer that.” He shook his head. He ran his hands through his hair a few times before his eyes flashed with an idea. “Meet me here at midnight.”
“Here?” I glanced around.
“Yeah, midnight.” He grinned as he stood up and handed me my shorts. “I’ve got a plan.” He quickly dressed and continued to hand me my clothes before we clasped our hands together and began walking back to Virginia’s. I wasn’t sure exactly what I’d just done, but it felt right. My dad had always told me to stay away from boys. They were nothing but trouble. Taylor was different though. He loved me, and I loved him, and tonight, we were going to prove that to one another. I was nervous just thinking about it.
“You know I’ve never done this either, right?” Taylor mumbled when we reached the edge of my yard.
“Truth?” I glanced at him.
“Truth,” he nodded. “Don’t worry.” He pressed a quick kiss to my forehead before taking off, running toward his house. “Midnight!” he shouted, before disappearing off into the distance.
“What do we do next?” CJ’s voice brought me back to the present, and I couldn’t help but laugh when he scowled at me.
“Sugar,” I grinned. “The best part.”
“Are you ok?” He tipped his head to the side causing his hair to fall over his eyes, making him look more like his father.
“I’m fine, just thinking,” I smiled.
“About what?” he stirred the pot of cherries we had on the stove.
“Swimming,” I laughed.
“Ooh. Can we go when we finish?” He bounced on his feet as he peered up at me.
“Sure,” I ruffled his hair as I sighed.
I could do this. I could go out there where she was. I could ignore her, and show him our spot. I could take Taylor’s son out into the orchard and push the pain it was going to cause down so deep that the person I used to be would never be found. CJ didn’t know what he was asking me to do, and if I had my way, he’d never find out.
WHEN CJ LEFT that evening to go home, I was exhausted. The day had been much warmer than the weather man had predicted. It was going to be a hot summer based on the spring we were having. I didn’t feel much like eating after smelling pie and jam all day, so now I was enjoying a glass wine as I sat on the couch and watched TV. The t-shirt and shorts I’d been wearing were covered in flour, and I didn’t even want to think about what my hair might look like. A dozen jars of cherry jam lined the island in my kitchen along with four pies though.
I smiled as I thought about the grin on CJ’s face when we tasted the jam. It had turned out great, and I was sure he’d win a ribbon. I had agreed to keep the jam at my house so he could surprise his family. He didn’t want his dad to know he’d made it, and I was kinda afraid of what Taylor might do when he found out CJ had been with me all day.
A slight breeze wafted through the house, causing the curtains to flutter, and me to long to be outside. I didn’t get this in the city. The windows in my condo didn’t open, and I rarely used the rooftop deck. Cherryville was so different. The smells, as well as the sounds, were nothing like what I had back home, and the longer I stayed here, the more I wanted to stay.
After trying to watch whatever drama was on TV and failing, I grabbed my wine and slowly made my way out onto the back porch. Fireflies were dancing in the night air, and the sweet smell of spring filled my senses. I folded myself onto the porch swing and gently pushed off with my bare foot. It swayed in the breeze, and as I stared out at the orchard, I couldn’t help but remember that night that changed everything.
“You sure nobody saw you?” Taylor’s eyes danced with excitement as he grabbed my hand.
“I’m sure,” I swallowed. We’d met a few feet inside the first row of trees and were currently making our way toward the back, where we’d spent the afternoon. “Virginia was asleep. I checked. No one else would look for me.” I shrugged as I tipped my head back to look at the sky. Stars dotted the dark blanket above, and a full moon shone overhead. Its beams were strong enough that it caused Taylor’s bare back to glisten where he was covered in small sweat droplets.
“Man, it’s hot,” he groaned when we reached our tree. Wanna swim to cool off?” His eyebrows danced as his smirk slipped into place.
I swallowed as I thought about what we’d planned to do out here before nervously mumbling, “I don’t have a suit.” I shook my head. I sounded like a broken record. We’d been swimming earlier in the day, and I hadn’t had a suit then either.
“I brought towels,” he murmured. “We could skinny dip.” His feet shuffled across the ground before he released my hand. I giggled nervously as I watched him. He was just as unsure about tonight as I was. This was new to him too, and knowing that helped me push forward.
“Sure,” I shrugged as I slipped my shoes off. I tossed them toward the tree, and that’s when I saw what he’d done. There, under our tree, was a blanket spread out, a few candles waiting to be lit, and a bunch of flowers. “You did this.” I smiled as I wandered closer.
“I wanted it to be special.” He fidgeted as he moved over beside me. “You’re special, Morgan; I wanted this to mean something to both of us.” He squatted down and grabbed the flowers, “These are for you.” He handed them to me as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my lips.
At that moment, the nervous energy that had filled the space around us soon heated to something neither of us was prepared for. Taylor stepped c
loser and wrapped me in his arms. His head slanted to the side as his tongue parted my lips and dove into the deep corners of my mouth. We’d had some pretty intense kisses before, but this one was off the charts. Our bodies moved closer together as if they knew what was going to happen tonight and were telling us that it was supposed to happen this way.
Taylor groaned as I gasped. My hands flew to his shoulders and I clung to him as if my life depended on it. His hands momentarily released me as his fingers reached the edge of my shirt. He worked it up my body, only breaking our kiss long enough to get it over my head. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered as he began moving us closer to the blanket.
His arms guided me down until we were sitting on the soft cotton. I whimpered as the throb between my legs grew. I knew I needed something to make it stop, but I wasn’t sure what. My inexperience, and Taylor’s patience, had always kept me pulling back before. I scooted closer as he nipped at my lower lip. My hands began to slide down his chest and abs, stopping at his waistband.
“It’s ok,” he mumbled before gripping my wrist. He pulled my hand down and placed my palm over the bulge in his denim shorts. He applied pressure at the point that I was squeezing him. The groan he’d released earlier was nothing compared to the sound that came out at that moment. “Feel’s good,” he panted as he went to work releasing the button on my shorts.
He pushed against my shoulders, encouraging me to lay back, as he tugged at the fabric, trying to slide it off my hips. I lifted up to help him, and before embarrassment could set in, he leaned over me, covering me with his body. Words failed me by this point, and all I could do was react. My hips searched for friction as my hands roamed over his back. The fire that had begun to kindle when we first kissed was now raging out of control.
Taylor quickly released the clasp on his shorts and wiggled to get them down his hips before kicking them off to the side. We were back to where we’d been that afternoon. As we laid there in our underwear, both of us seemed to be afraid of moving on. We’d never gotten further than this. We’d touched, but had always stayed over the clothes. Taylor paused when his finger tip got caught in the edge of my bra. I knew he wanted to touch me. I wanted him to touch me, but I wasn’t sure how to convey that message without coming right out and telling him.
I pushed up on my elbows, causing him to sit back on his haunches. I bit my lip as I reached behind my back and released the clasp. The bra sagged against me, but didn’t fall down my arms. I watched Taylor’s eyes widen as I leaned back and resumed my previous position. “It’s ok,” I uttered the same words he had, before I forced the next ones out. “Touch me.”
Taylor’s mouth sealed over mine once again as he used one hand to peel the bra off my sweaty body and the other to hold himself over me. Once he tossed the bra aside, his hand gently cupped my breast. My back bowed off the ground as a surge of euphoria burst through me. The throb between my legs grew, and Taylor pressed his hips harder against me. The cotton of his boxers had grown damp, and I could feel wetness pooling in my panties.
“I love you,” he gasped as he broke the kiss and ran his nose up the column of my neck. He paused at my ear as he whispered, “I want you so bad Morgan. You’re more than I ever dreamed of. Are you sure?” His voice was tight and strained, and as he waited for me to answer, he pinched the nipple of the breast he was fondling.
I nodded vigorously. I couldn’t form words at that point, and all I knew was that my body was calling to him, and he was the only one who could ease the ache I was feeling. He quickly shoved his boxers down, and then he went to work removing my panties before coming back to hover over me. His face was strained and barely visible in the moonlight. We’d been so wrapped up in each other that the candles he’d brought still remained unlit.
“I’ll go slow, I promise.” He swallowed as he lined himself up. “Tell me to stop if you’re not sure about this.” I closed my eyes as I felt him nudge my opening, but when he began to push forward, they flew open as a white-hot pain shot through me.
“I’m sorry,” he gasped. He looked as if he was holding on by a thread. I felt tears come to my eyes and one trickled down my temple pooling in my hair. “Look at me, Morgan.” He was frozen over me, waiting for the pain to pass. “I love you.” He leaned down and sealed his mouth over mine as he rocked his hips forward once again.
The initial pain subsided, and the throbbing reemerged, causing both of us to groan. I reached for him, pulling him impossibly closer as my arms wrapped around his shoulders. His breathing quickened as a strained expression came over his face. “I’m sorry,” he murmured again before his entire body shook.
His eyes rolled back as he paused in his movements; and he collapsed on top of me. What looked like embarrassment flooded his face as he began to pull back. When he slipped from inside me, I winced. The pain from earlier was back, and a slight burning sensation followed. His brow furrowed as he watched me roll to my side and curl into a ball. I didn’t want to cry, but it hurt, and I didn’t think your first time was supposed to feel like that. “Are you ok?” He reached for me, touching my shoulder lightly. I nodded without answering him.
“They say it’s supposed to hurt the first time,” he whispered. “Maybe the cool water will help.” He slowly sat up before he reached for me again. I nodded again as I let him help me stand. I wasn’t sure what I should be feeling at that moment. I wasn’t regretting what we’d done. I loved Taylor. I’d wanted this. I’d dreamed of it happening this way, but in the movies and books you didn’t hear about the awkwardness afterward.
“Don’t look down,” Taylor soothed as he helped me step down into the cool water. I happened to glance down though, and a slight panic set in when I saw the blood. He must have known I’d freak because as soon as my head turned in his direction, he’d pressed a quick kiss to my lips.
We stayed in the water playing and relaxing until we were completely waterlogged before climbing out to return to the blanket. After that, we spent most of the night talking about what we wanted from the future. Taylor wanted to take over his dad’s business. He wanted me to stay here in Cherryville with him, and we decided that when I turned eighteen I’d tell my dad that’s exactly what I wanted.
I sighed as the memory faded. That night had been the beginning of one of the most painful years I’d lived through. We didn’t think about the fact that we’d changed our lives that night. We’d had sex without protection. We didn’t know we’d played Russian roulette with our future. All we knew was that we loved each other. We wanted to be together, and show one another the most intimate expression of that love. We’d changed our future with one decision, a decision that would haunt me for the rest of my life.
WHEN CJ CAME home tonight, he smelled of sugar, and as much as he tried to hide it, I saw the small dots of flour on his shirt. I knew the scent, and I knew what caused it. I can’t tell you the number of times I’d stop by the Cooper house to find Morgan humming in the kitchen as she baked. Virginia had taught her how to make all sorts of things, and I was her official taste tester.
I didn’t say anything to CJ when he offered me a wave and then disappeared into his room. Over the last several days, I had come to the realization that I couldn’t keep him away from her. He didn’t understand why I wanted him to stay away, and Morgan hadn’t figured it out yet. Somewhere in my mind, I had twisted my beliefs so bad that I thought I was helping her, but after seeing the shell of the woman she used to be, I knew I wasn’t. I didn’t know how I’d ever get her to forgive me, but I knew she needed the truth.
Hell, I needed the truth. I needed to unburden myself, and pray that what the three of us had done all those years ago could be repaired. Virginia had wanted to tell her. She’d written it all out and put it in her safety deposit box. Morgan was supposed to get the key when Virginia passed. I’d been holding my breath for days now, waiting for Morgan to show up at my door.
As I lay here in my bed, staring at the ceiling, I can’t help but go back to all tho
se summer nights when Morgan and I thought we’d had forever.
“I love you,” I panted before my entire body trembled. We’d been coming back to our spot as often as we could. Morgan hadn’t felt well, and even though my intention was to comfort her, we ended up making love instead.
“I love you, too,” she sighed as she smiled up at me. She reached up and trailed her fingers across my sweaty brow as a grin broke out across her face.
“What?” I chuckled.
She shrugged. “Nothing. I’m just happy, and you were right.” She blushed as she turned away from my gaze.
“Right? About what?” I slowly pushed back, breaking our connection, and I flopped on the blanket beside her.
“We’re getting better with practice,” she giggled.
“Really?” I teased. I rolled onto my side and propped my head up on my elbow. As I looked down at her, I couldn’t hide the goofy grin that was trying to break out across my face. “You’re so beautiful.”
“You’re not so bad yourself.” She smiled as she reached up and pushed my hair back. “Wanna swim?”
“Yes,” I scrambled to stand up and reached for her hand. She was still rather shy about being naked in front of me, but it was night. Tonight was an exceptionally dark night. The moon wasn’t out, and if I’d known better, I would have seen that as a sign.
“Fuck!” I hissed as I shoved the covers back. Tonight was just like all those nights back then. It was hot and sticky. My boxers were plastered to my thighs, and the sheets were damp with my sweat. I wondered if Morgan was remembering the same things I was. Was she lying in bed thinking about me? Was she remembering all the nights we went swimming? Was she thinking about going out there tonight just as I was?
Walking Among the Cherry Trees: The Cook Brothers Series Page 7