I sat up and swung my legs off the bed as I dropped my head in my hands. What if she was out there? What then? Ignore her? “Damn it!” I hissed as I pushed myself up and shuffled into the bathroom. I reached in the shower and turned it on as cold as it would go. After peeling my boxers off, I climbed in, and stood under the spray. I closed my eyes and let the coolness of the water soothe me. I was wound so tight, I wasn’t sure I’d get any sleep. I needed to let go. I needed to talk to her. Having her back here was pure torture, and until we dealt with the past, there would certainly be no future.
WHEN THE WEEKEND rolled around, I was in a bad mood. My father had managed to call me daily just to tell me what a disappointment I was becoming. I’d gotten used to it over the last few weeks. Ever since I’d come back to Cherryville, I’d been avoiding him for that very reason. David was handling things fine. Nothing had slipped business wise, and the company was flourishing. My dad didn’t have me under his thumb is what it amounted to. He’d always controlled how long I’d stayed here in the past, and now that he couldn’t make me come home, he’d resorted to guilt tripping me every chance he got.
If I truly loved him, I’d leave. If I was at all concerned about the business, I’d leave. If I knew what was best, I’d leave. I’d heard it all over the last three weeks. The truth was, I didn’t want to leave. I was actually enjoying my time here, even though it was painful at times. The townspeople who remembered me treated me like a person and not a money machine as my dad did.
The annual Cherry Festival was today, and I was supposed to be taking my pies and CJ’s jam. I had everything loaded in my car when Billy, my yard guy, came by. “Morning, Morgan,” he waved as he began walking around back to where the lawn mower was housed. “Beautiful day, huh?”
“Yeah. Heading into town. Can you change…” my voice trailed off as I stood open mouthed staring at the front porch. The light bulb that I’d tried so hard change out several days ago was fixed. My brow furrowed as I stared at it. I hadn’t been out the front door in days. I always used the side door, so I hadn’t noticed it.
“Change what?” he paused as he watched me.
“Never mind,” I shook my head. Had Taylor come by? He was the only one that knew the light needed to be changed. “Thanks,” I pointed to the fixture. “I tried to do it myself and broke one.”
“I didn’t do that,” he looked at me confused. “Have a nice day,” he waved as he continued on around the house.
Excitement, followed by anger, came surging through me. Taylor had to have been here to fix the light. He came over and didn’t even bother to say hi. I had been home all day every day except for the few times I’d run to the store. I’d been working from the house, and cleaning it every day. I was almost finished at getting it back to the way it was when I visited as a child. I shook my head as I climbed in my car and made my way to town.
When I got closer to downtown, I had to pull over and park in the high school’s parking lot. The festival was so large that they closed off the streets, and parking was limited to businesses and buildings on the outskirts. When I glanced around at everything, it was as if time had skipped over the place. Everything looked exactly as it had all those years ago when I’d come here the first time.
Red and white banners draped across the street announcing the festival and welcomed all the visitors. The high school’s band was playing music in the square. Local business had their doors propped open while people milled about the streets. Farther down in the grassy field, near the edge of town, were rows and rows of red tents. This was where the contests were held and the games and activities for children took place.
I slowly climbed out of my car and reached in the back to grab the box that contained my pies and CJ’s jam. It was heavy and awkward, and I wasn’t sure I’d make it down to the tents. Just as I attempted to turn around with the box in my arms, I felt it. A chill rushed over me. Even in the summer heat, with very little breeze, his presence could still elicit goosebumps.
“Need some help?” His deep voice resonated behind me causing me to freeze.
I glanced over my shoulder to see him standing there awkwardly. It was as if he wasn’t sure how to act around me. The last time we’d talked it was more of a shouting match than anything else. “Thanks,” I handed over my goods. “I just need to take it to the tent.” I pointed down the street as he held the box to his chest. His arms flexed and the t-shirt he was wearing tightened around his shoulders. Time had done nothing but make Taylor Cook even more beautiful. The green of his eyes sparkled in the sunlight—although they held a hesitation deep within them. His dark hair still flopped over his forehead when he tipped his chin down. The lean muscle he’d had as a teen had been replaced with a well-defined chest and arms. The jeans he was wearing hung low on his hips, and the apron that hung from his neck was tied loosely at his waist. He looked like a younger version of the way I remembered his father. “Are you working at the store today?” I absently mumbled as we ambled down the street.
“Yeah,” he groaned as he shifted the box. “Maryanne’s sick. “Don’t have anyone to cover for me.”
“Oh,” I whispered. I wasn’t really sure what to say to him. Things were tense, and I didn’t know how to fix that. I still wasn’t sure if he knew that CJ had been disobeying him and coming to see me.
“I’d like to talk to you later. I can’t now because the store’s open, but I think we need to discuss some things.” He shifted the box again as we stepped off the sidewalk and headed for the tents. “You gonna be around?”
“I’m staying for the festival if that’s what you’re asking.” I motioned to the box. “I have pies to enter.”
“Virginia’s pies?” The corner of his mouth tipped up as he scanned the tents for the drop-off spot.
“Yep,” I grinned back. Some of the tension had lifted, and he seemed like the old Taylor again.
“Think you could save me a piece?” His expression morphed into the boyish one I was so familiar with. In the short time it had taken us to get to the tent, he’d managed to make me feel things that I hadn’t felt in ten years. He wasn’t as indifferent as he wanted me to believe. He was still here, in this town, trying to live his dream.
“Sure,” I shrugged. “If I’d known you were going to be so helpful, I would have saved you an entire pie,” I teased as I felt my cheeks heat. Was I flirting? It didn’t feel that way, but it sure sounded like it.
“Listen,” he sighed. “I close at six. Think we could meet up then and talk?” We’d reached the tent at this point, and he placed the box down before turning to face me. “I need to tell you some things.” He glanced out across the grassy area, not really looking at anything in particular.
“Sure,” I nibbled on my lip. “I’ll be around.” He started to walk away when I thought better of it and stopped him. “Wait! How are you gonna find me?” There were hundreds of people milling around. Once evening set in and the live band played, the crowd would grow. It would grow again when everyone moved to the fields to watch the fireworks. “Here,” I opened my purse and began digging through it. When my fingers grazed across the business cards I’d tucked in the side, I grabbed one. “My number’s on there. Just call me,” I shrugged as I held it out to him.
He stared at it a minute before taking and studying it. “You kept the same number.” His forehead wrinkled.
“Yes,” I let the word fall slowly from my lips. I’d had the same personal cell number since I was sixteen. I’d transferred it every time I’d switched phones, hoping that one day he’d call. He never had, but I still held out hope. I couldn’t bear to tell him my reasoning. I couldn’t believe he couldn’t tell.
“I don’t need it.” He handed me the card back.
“You still remember my number?” My nose scrunched in confusion. It had been ten years since he’d used it. Did he think about me like I thought about him?
“I remember everything,” his voice almost cracked before he took a few steps away from me
. “Later.” He lifted his hand to wave before turning his back on me and walking back to the store.
I remember everything. The words hung in the air as I thought about all the meanings they could hold. Did he remember all the good things? Was he talking about all the things that happened when he walked away from me? When I left? When he broke me? When we lost her? Could he still feel something for me even after he left to be with another woman? He had CJ, proof that he’d loved someone else enough to have a baby… the one thing I couldn’t give him. I remember everything. Those words coated me like a balm, bathing me in their comfort. I remembered everything, too.
AFTER LEAVING MORGAN at the judging tent, I rushed back to the store. I needed to get away from her. Just being in her presence was messing with my head. She had dressed up for the festival. A light white cotton skirt swirled around her knees and a red and white checked sleeveless top hugged her curves. She’d pulled her hair back and tied it loosely at the nape of her neck. I couldn’t tell if the rosiness of her cheeks was from the heat or me. I had once hoped that I still affected her that way, but now I wasn’t so sure. After our talk, she would hate me. She would push me away, and I’d never see the laughter I’d seen in her eyes today ever again.
Business was slow because of the festival. Lots of people came into the store, but very few bought anything. It was more to say hi to me and ask how I was doing than anything else. CJ spent most of the day in the field with his cousins. He’d begged for me for money to purchase ride tickets and then taken off like his pants were on fire. I remembered those days. The last festival where I’d ridden rides Morgan had come with me. We’d ridden the Ferris wheel so many times I lost count, but that feeling that you get when you kiss your girlfriend at the top just before it turns and give you that weightless feeling was addictive. We’d get off just to get back in line. I hadn’t wanted that day to end. It was perfect until I took her home.
“I need to tell you something.” Morgan fidgeted as we sat on the back porch at Virginia’s. We’d been at the festival all day and had finally walked home.
“Ok,” I grinned as I shifted to face her. “What is it?” She pulled her hand from my grip before twisting her fingers together. I couldn’t understand what could be so bad other than her telling me she had to leave early to go back to the City. “You can tell me anything. You know that, right?” I gripped her chin to turn it to face me.
She nodded and bit down on her lip. “I’m late.” She cringed like she was waiting for me to explode or something.
“Late for what?” I wrinkled my forehead as I tipped my head to the side. “It’s like ten at night; everything’s closed.”
“No,” she shook her head as she sighed. “I’m late.” Her eyes widened as she begged me to understand.
“Shit!” I hissed. “Ok, we can do this. Are you sure?” I reached for her and tugged her closer.
She nodded her head against my chest, “Yeah, I took a test.” I could feel the tears at this point. She wasn’t sobbing, but I could feel tears soaking into my t-shirt.
“Have you told anybody?” I tightened my arm around her. “Virginia?” I swallowed. “Or your dad?”
“No,” she mumbled as her shoulders began to shake. “I’m afraid, Tay. What am I gonna do? He’s gonna kill me. I’m supposed to go off to college this fall.” She pulled back to peer up at me. She wiped at her eyes as she stared at me.
“It’ll be ok.” I reached for her, but she stood up and moved away from me.
“How do you know that?” Her voice held anger, as if she was blaming me for this.
“I love you. You love me. We’ll figure it out. So things are gonna be different now,” I shrugged as I stood and pulled her into my arms. “We’re gonna be fine.” I kissed the top of her head. “We’re gonna be fine,” I mumbled again before she pulled back to look up.
“Really? You mean that?” She sniffed.
“Yeah,” I paused; this wasn’t how I had this planned, but our plans weren’t really working out now. I swallowed before blurting, “Marry me!”
“What?” she shook her head as if she hadn’t heard me right. “Are you crazy?”
“Probably,” I mumbled. “We’ll be a family. Marry me.”
“What about my dad? Where are we gonna live?” she sputtered.
“We’ll figure it out,” I shrugged.
“I don’t know what to say?” She turned and began pacing.
“Yes would be a good start,” I chuckled.
“We’re so young,” she shook her head.
“You’ll be eighteen in the fall. I’m already eighteen. We’ll be young, yes, but still adults. I’ve been saving for a while now. We can get an apartment, and I’ll work at the store.” As the plan formed, I began to actually get excited.
“Ok,” she bounced on her feet. “Yes, I’ll marry you. This baby is going to be so loved.” She caressed her flat stomach before turning to me. “We can tell my dad together.”
As I thought about that night, an acid taste formed in my mouth. We had gone and told her dad, and even though he seemed to be on board, he soon changed his tune. He forced me to make a decision that would forever change things between Morgan and me. He turned me into a monster. Morgan had always looked at me with love in her eyes. She’d thought I was the one who was going to save her from the life she had. I loved her, and I did the one thing I swore I’d never do… I sided with her father. I let him rip us apart with a secret that was surely, over the next few days, to obliterate whatever might be left.
BY THE TIME the sun set, I was tired. I’d been at the festival all day. I’d run into several people I knew, had a nice chat, and was bombarded with questions on how I was doing. Several people offered condolences for Virginia, but most wanted to know if I’d seen Taylor. One thing about small towns, everyone knew your business. I’d smiled politely before excusing myself to slip away into the crowd.
Virginia’s pies had taken the second place ribbon in the pie baking contest, and CJ had won in the youth cooking division. I hadn’t seen Taylor, but I was sure he’d be proud. Now I was quietly sitting off to the side where the band was playing. BBQ was being smoked on the other side, and left a delicious scent in the air, while several people were swaying to the music on the dance floor nearby.
“Mind if I sit,” his deep voice startled me.
“Sure,” I turned to peer wide-eyed up at Taylor. “How’d you find me?” I glanced at my cell to make sure I hadn’t missed a call.
“You always liked to dance,” he shrugged. “Figured I’d give it a shot before I called.” He folded himself down on the picnic bench beside me before stretching his legs out in front. “Nice night,” he mused.
“Uh huh,” I chewed the inside of my cheek nervously. I wasn’t sure what I should do. Things were strained, and I didn’t know what he expected from me.
“You look nice.” A lone finger trailed over my bare shoulder and I shivered.
“Thanks,” I murmured, still not looking in his direction.
“Wanna dance,” he nudged me.
This caused me to turn and face him, “You don’t dance.”
“I’ve been practicing,” he grinned, and the twinkle I saw in his eyes this afternoon was back.
“Right.” I rolled my eyes before watching him stand and offer his hand.
“Come on,” his head jerked toward the dance floor as he waited for me to accept his offer.
“What the hell,” I groaned as I stood and let him lead me out there. When he had picked a spot near the middle, Taylor wrapped one arm around my waist while the other twined with my fingers. He held me close with a firm, but not tight, grip. If I truly wanted to escape, I could have.
“Did you have a good day?” He smiled as he studied me.
“Yeah,” I nodded as we swayed to the music. “It’s weird being back, a good weird though. I didn’t realize how much I missed this place.”
“Just the place?” his eyes darted from my lips to a space behind us.<
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“Tay,” I whispered harshly.
“I know,” he murmured as he spun us so I could see what he was looking at. CJ was sitting with some other boys at a table watching us.
“He’s a good a kid, Tay. You did good,” I reassured him as I stared him in the eyes.
Taylor swallowed as he nodded, “Thanks. You haven’t called me Tay in forever. I almost forgot what it sounded like.”
“I’m sure there have been others,” I rolled my eyes teasingly.
“No,” he was adamant. “Only you,” he pulled me closer as the hand gripping mine loosened to slide around my waist.
At this point, we were pressed together from shoulders to hips. I could feel his harsh breathing as he attempted to keep himself in control. He was just as nervous as I was. When the song stopped, and I started to pull away, he stopped me. “Wanna ride on the Ferris Wheel?” His grin was back, but I could tell he was unsure of himself. It was as if I was here with eighteen year old Taylor and not the grown man.
“You really want to?” I scrunched my nose up. “I mean… I don’t know what I mean. Blame the heat. I’ve been in the sun all day.”
“Come on,” he tugged me after him, and I stumbled through the grass as we disappeared in the dark.
“Wait,” I called out. “You said you wanted to talk.”
“Later,” he chuckled as he drew to a halt in front of the Ferris wheel. The lights blinked in the night like the fireflies that graced the orchard, and as we climbed into the seat to be buckled in, I couldn’t help the rush of memories it brought back.
I swallowed nervously as the ride started moving, taking us to the top. When we reached the top, I couldn’t help but let out a little squeal as we crossed over that small space of weightlessness before dropping back to the bottom.
“You haven’t changed at all,” he snickered. “You’re still chicken.”
Walking Among the Cherry Trees: The Cook Brothers Series Page 8