I cover my ears. “Too. Loud.”
She titters. “So how did you leave things?”
I yawn again. “We’re going to catch up later, I think.” I slip back under the covers. “Now you know everything, and I need more sleep. Shoo.”
She kisses the top of my head. “I’m really glad he’s here, Ange, but if he hurts you again…”
“We’re friends, M, that’s all, and I believe him when he says he’s changed. I could see the difference in him.”
My phone beeps and I slide it off my bedside table, squinting as I open my inbox. I can’t curtail my smile as Devin’s name pops up. Mariah is grinning from ear to ear as she slips out of the bedroom.
Hey, beautiful. Want 2 meet 4 a l8 lunch? Jim’s dropping by. He’d love 2 meet u. No pressure if it’s 2 soon.
What time?
4?
C u then.
Dev knocks on my door on the dot of four, and the fluttering in my chest builds to epic proportions. Grabbing my jacket, purse, and keys, I walk to the door and fling it open. My heart stutters at the sight of him. He’s wearing dark jeans, sturdy brown boots, and a thick gray jacket with a UI scarf around his neck. He graces me with his trademark grin, and his eyes sparkle with joy as he looks me over. “Look at you,” he says, pulling me into his arms. “You’re even more beautiful than I remember.”
I send him an incredulous look. “Since last night?” I quirk a brow.
He tweaks my nose. “Yep. Every hour you grow more beautiful.” He takes my hand, pulling the door shut behind me.
“You’re ridiculous.”
“Just telling it like I see it.” He weaves his hands through my hair. “You are gorgeous, Ange, and I haven’t told you that enough. And I’m not just referencing what’s on the outside, even if I have missed your beautiful face so much.”
My heart is spinning a hundred miles an hour, and while I’m loving his words, and I can tell he means every bit of it, it’s a little overwhelming, and not what I’m used to. I’m a little out of my comfort zone with this version of Dev.
“Hey.” He tips my chin up with his finger. “Is this too much?”
“No, yes, maybe.” I worry my lip in my teeth. “You do know I’m still going out with Ayden?”
If he’s surprised or disappointed, he hides it well. “I wasn’t aware of that. I guess I just presumed because he’s overseas that you two had called it quits.”
He steps back, creating a little distance between us.
“You heard about the marines?”
He nods. “Cam filled me in.”
Of course. “Well, he sprung it on me an hour before he left. I was way too mad to start any conversation about our relationship, so I’m not really sure where we stand, and I won’t know until he’s back.”
“And when is that?”
“Not until Easter.”
He purses his lips. “I understand.” An awkward silence pervades the air, and I’m confused at the turnaround in this conversation. I mean, did Devin think in coming here that we were going to be together? Because he’s never really given me any indication that that’s how he sees me, and now isn’t the time to explore it. He plasters a smile on his face, closing the gap between us. “That’s not stopping us from resuming our friendship though, right?”
“Of course not. You’ve been my best friend since forever.”
“Cool.” He offers me his arm. “We’d better make tracks. Jim’s probably already there, and he’s a stickler for good timekeeping.”
“Let’s not keep the man waiting so.”
I’m fiddling with the scarf around my neck as we walk toward the restaurant to meet Jim. “You should’ve told me we were going someplace snazzy, and I would’ve made more of an effort.”
He chuckles. “It’s not like you to worry over what you’re wearing.”
“Yeah, well, Mariah’s made me her new pet project, and it’s kinda rubbing off on me. Usually, she won’t let me leave the apartment until she’s given me the seal of approval.”
“So, I guess I have her to thank for that hot little number you were wearing last night?”
My cheeks flare up, and he laughs, opening the door and beckoning me inside. “You liked it?”
His breath is warm on my cheek as he whispers in my ear. “What wasn’t to like? You were fucking sensational in it.”
I’m all hot and bothered under my coat so it’s a welcome relief when the maître d’ offers to take it from me, hanging both our jackets up before guiding us through the restaurant. Devin grips my hand and steers me through the packed dining room, heading straight toward a booth at the back.
A distinguished-looking man with a fine head of jet-black hair looks up, smiling as he notices our approach. I can’t help gasping as we get closer. “My God,” I mutter under my breath. “You look so much like him.”
Jim taps his watch, his lips pulling into an affectionate smile. “Only ten minutes late this time, Devin. That’s got to be a new record.”
Devin offers him an apologetic smile. “Sorry we’re late.”
“I’m afraid that’s my fault,” I say. “I kept him talking at the door.”
Jim stands up, stepping out of the booth, and taking my hand in his. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you, Angelina. My son speaks very highly of you.”
I flush. “It’s nice to meet you too, sir.”
He turns to Devin. “She’s every bit as beautiful as you said.”
My cheeks flare fire-engine red, and Dev chuckles as I launch myself into the booth, burying my face in the menu to hide my embarrassment.
We place our orders, and the conversation flows naturally around the table. Jim goes out of his way to relax me, and Dev keeps his hand secured in mine until our food arrives. After the meal, we say goodbye to Jim and leave to hook up with Cody and Mariah.
“He’s really nice,” I remark, once we’re tucked up in Dev’s SUV with the heat pumping out. “And you two seem to get along very well.” Which is heartwarming to see because Devin hasn’t had a proper father figure in his life.
“I was a bit of an asshole to him at the start,” Dev explains, and I bark out a laugh.
“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”
He smirks, before his expression turns more serious. “But he won me over quickly. It’s good to have a decent role model in my life. Someone I can look up to and learn from.” He glances over at me briefly while he drives. “I used to look at you and Natalie and wish I had that kind of relationship with my dad. Now I do, and it’s fucking awesome.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
We meet Mariah and Cody at the movie theater, and, afterward we return to campus to attend another frat party. The guys have disappeared to procure drinks while Mariah and I wait in the crowded living room. We have to practically shout over the music to be heard. “You’re right,” she hollers in my ear. “Devin is different. He seems to have his shit together.”
“I think so.” Only time will really tell. As I spy Devin and Cody making their way through the room toward us, I don’t miss the admiring looks he’s picking up from all quarters. Devin has this magnetic presence that draws every girl in. A sour taste pools in my mouth as a familiar sickening feeling twists my insides into knots. A girl jumps out in front of him, tugging on his arm and stopping his progress. My stomach drops to my toes, and all the feel-good hormones are replaced with a bunch of anxiety-laden ones. I suffered this agony the whole way through high school, and I don’t think I can bear to go through it again now we’re in college. My heart has taken a battering this last year, and I think I’ve reached my breaking point.
Grabbing my coat and purse, I hightail it toward the door. My pulse is pounding in my ears, and my heart is a dense block of concrete in my chest. Tears prick my eyes, but I hold them at bay. I can’t cry any more over Devin. I just can’t
go there again.
A hand circles my waist from behind before I reach the front door, and I’m pulled back against a strong, warm body. “Where are you going?” Dev asks, twirling me around to face him. I look down at my feet while I attempt to plant a poker face on. He tilts my chin up. “What’s wrong?”
I open my mouth to lie. To tell him nothing’s wrong, but I think better of it. “I’ve no desire to watch other girls pawing at you, especially not after we’ve had such a great time today, so I think it’s best I call it a night.”
He opens his mouth to speak, but I place my finger against his lips, quieting him. “You have nothing to apologize for, and you’re free to do whatever you like. I’d just rather not bear witness to it.”
He grips my face firmly in his palms. “The only girl I’m interested in spending time with at this party is you. Please, don’t leave. I’m not ready to say goodnight to you yet.” His eyes glisten with sincerity and longing, and my resolve wavers on the spot. My willpower has always been extremely weak when it comes to Devin. I nod shyly, and he takes my hand, leading me back into the room.
Mariah subtly mouths at me. “You okay?”
I nod, offering her a small smile as Dev hands me a red cup. “Thanks.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulder, keeping me close to his side as we chat. I notice he is only drinking a soda, and he ignores every girl who approaches or attempts to catch his eye across the room. When I need to go to the bathroom, he comes with me, checking his cell and refusing eye contact with every girl while he waits outside for me. Conversation is lively, and it’s almost like old times. Except that Ayden should be here with us, and he isn’t. A wave of sadness sweeps over me, and Dev notices. “Why do you look so bummed out?” he whispers in my ear.
“I was just thinking about Ayd.”
“You miss him,” he says, and it’s not a question. I nod. “Me too.”
“Have you heard from him at all?”
He shakes his head.
“He doesn’t have many phone privileges,” I explain, “but he usually calls every second Sunday. I’m expecting his call tomorrow. You could come over and talk with him, if you like?”
“I’m not sure Ayden will be happy I’m going to college with you.”
I touch his arm. “I know it was tense between you two before you left but things are different now. I think he’ll be happy to know you’re in a good place, and he’ll feel less guilty knowing you are here with me. He thinks he let me down by bailing on the college plan.”
“Well, he did. You guys had this all figured out years before I knew what I wanted to do. I couldn’t believe it when Cam told me he’d ditched his football dream and joined the marines. Still can’t wrap my head around it.”
A couple get up from the couch, and we pounce, dropping into their seats before anyone can beat us to it. Dev keeps his arm around my shoulder, crossing one knee over the other. “Did he ever talk to you about it?” I ask.
“Nope. He never said a word. I thought he lived and breathed football, and he is so Goddamned talented.”
“I’m glad he had courage to follow his heart, even if I did feel like throat punching him at the time.” Dev chuckles. “It was just such a huge shock, and I’m still pissed that he didn’t confide in me. No wonder our relationship…” I trail off, uncomfortable discussing my relationship in front of Devin. It feels disrespectful to Ayden to do so.
He’s quiet for a couple of minutes. “Can I ask you something?”
I look into his eyes and promptly melt on the spot. His gaze ensnares me, holding me in place, sucking all the air out of the room and my lungs. I could drown in Devin’s hypnotic gaze and not regret a thing. His lips fight a smile, and I realize he’s waiting for a response. All I can manage is a wide-eyed nod.
“Are you planning on waiting for him indefinitely?” A flicker of hope, of expectation, shimmers in his sea-green eyes, and my heart can’t help reacting. I don’t know if he realizes it, but his fingers are drifting in and out of my hair, toying with the strands, and it feels comfortable between us but different. I’m sensing things Devin hasn’t said, and though I shouldn’t get my hopes up, I think he wants more from me.
But I can’t indulge that now. Perhaps, when Ayden and I have drawn a line under our romantic relationship, Devin and I might have a chance at something, but I can’t entertain those thoughts now. I spent years pining for him, and I can’t get sucked back into that space. It’s not healthy for me. “I can’t answer that question until I’ve spoken to Ayden, Dev. It wouldn’t be fair for me to tell you how I’m feeling before I’ve had the chance to tell him.”
Slowly, he nods. “That’s fair, Ange. I hope he appreciates your loyalty.”
I’m not sure that he does, but that’s neither here nor there now.
Ayden calls later than usual the next night, and Devin and I have just spent a pleasant afternoon in my place watching old movies and stuffing our faces with a host of our favorite junk food. The relaxed, happy mood becomes tense as I pick up my cell to answer my boyfriend. “Hey, baby,” Ayden greets me. “Can you hear me okay?”
“Hey, yourself, and yes, the line is clear.”
“I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too. How are things over there?”
“Pretty shitty, to be honest. It’s not what I thought it’d be.”
His mood sounds low, and I wish I could project myself through the phone to cheer him up with a hug. “Is there no way you can get home for Thanksgiving?”
“Not a chance in hell, unfortunately. Are you going home?”
“Yeah. It won’t be the same without you.”
“I’ll be there in spirit.”
Dev is watching me closely as I clear my throat. “I have someone here who wants to speak to you.” I hold the phone out to Dev.
“Hey, man,” Dev says. I can’t hear the response on the other side. “I go to school here too.” There’s a brief pause. “That’s not it. She hasn’t been hiding it from you.” His eyes lock on mine, and there’s a fierce intensity in his gaze. “She didn’t know I was here until recently.” A muscle clenches in Devin’s jaw. “It’s not like that, and I’ve gotten my act together. I’m clean, and sober, and I’m just trying to pick up the pieces of my life.” He grabs fistfuls of his hair. “You know how much our friendship has always meant to me.” Devin starts pacing the room. “Don’t put this shit on me, again. You know, now that I look back on that time, there are plenty of things that don’t make any sense.” His eyes burn angrily, and he harrumphs. “Yeah, why doesn’t that surprise me? Sure. I’ll put Ange back on the phone. See ya, buddy.” His voice is like ice as he spits out the last word, thrusting the phone at me.
“What was that all about?” I ask Ayden.
“Nothing for you to worry about.”
I grind my teeth to the molars, although I shouldn’t be shocked. Shutting me out has always been Ayden’s forte. “I’m not sure why you’re pissed, but Devin’s my friend, our friend, and I’m thrilled he’s here. When you get home, we’re all going to sit down and thrash things out. I don’t care whether you agree or not, it’s happening. We’re putting our friendship back on track, and there’s nothing you can say that’ll make me change my mind. We need each other. We’ve always had one another’s backs, and it’s time to emphasize that.”
“I’ve got to go, Lina.”
His voice is curt, and now I wish I could reach through the line and strangle him. But I refuse to end our call on a sour note. Not when he’s out there, dealing with God knows what. “Okay.” I sigh. “I love you. Stay safe.”
“Love you too. Bye.” Then he hangs up. Devin is sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. I toss my cell on the table, and sit down beside him, gently placing my hand on his knee. “What did he say?”
“Just more of the usual bullshit.” He looks up,
and I recognize the strain in his eyes. “I don’t think he’ll ever be able to look beyond the crap of the last year.”
I squeeze his knee. “He will. You’ve got to give him time. And he’s over there dealing with so much shit. His reaction is probably more to do with that than you.”
The next couple of weeks fly by, and Devin is a permanent daily fixture in my life. The more time we spend together, the less I remember our separation.
It’s as if we were never apart.
I’m glad when Wednesday rolls around and we’re making the trip home for Thanksgiving. Mariah is traveling with Cody, and I’m going with Devin in his SUV.
The closer we get to Mason City, the happier I feel.
Mr. Carter is still fuming with Devin, blaming him for what he perceives to be Ayden’s litany of bad decisions, so the Morgans are banned from the usual Thanksgiving dinner at the Carters. Mom and I decided to host our own Thanksgiving this year, and she’s invited Dr. Williams along with Devin and his brothers. Jim is also coming. He shares the various annual celebrations with his ex-wife, and it’s her turn to have their daughters for Thanksgiving this year, so he’s delighted to be able to spend it with his new family for the first time.
Mom and I are up half the night prepping the food for the next day. We chat while sipping wine and catching up. She’s deliriously happy, and completely head over heels in love, and I’m thrilled for her. I’ve only met Dr. Williams—Jon—a couple of times, but I can tell he’s a decent guy.
“Thank you for such a gorgeous dinner,” Jim says the next evening after we’ve all stuffed ourselves silly.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to eat for a week,” Luc acknowledges with a groan, massaging his swollen belly.
“You’d swear I never feed you,” Cam jokes, messing his hair as he stands up, starting to clear away the empty plates.
“He’s a growing boy, and I still remember how much food Devin used to put away at that age,” Mom remarks with a grin, leaning into Jon as he circles his arm around her shoulder.
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