Christmas In Montana (Treasures of The Rockies)

by Eason, Mary

  Bravely, she faced him again. “That’s impossible. Why would you do that?”

  His gazed shifted back to the road ahead. “I told you. I don’t want a divorce. I never did. You wouldn’t listen then. Maybe you will now.”

  The night in question still stood out raw and painful in her mind. The night she’d learned the truth about their marriage among other things that she should have realized all along if she hadn’t been blinded by puppy love. Things like why Jase chose her of all people to marry.

  That night they’d argued. She’d told him everything she suspected and he hadn’t denied even one of her accusations. He’d just reached for the bottle of whiskey. For Cara, it had been like a prophecy coming to fruition.

  “Even if you don’t want to be, we’re still married.” The hard edge in his voice told her now was not the time to argue this point.

  Besides, she couldn’t think of one single thing to say. She was his wife. In her heart anyways. She loved him, but he’d betrayed her. It didn’t matter how sincere he sounded now it didn’t change the facts. They couldn’t rewrite history.

  She turned away. Her gaze drawn to the two-story ranch that she’d once briefly shared with Jase.

  The truck’s headlights washed over the house. Shock enveloped her like a woolen blanket at the state of affairs before her. The house showed obvious signs of neglect. The front needed a fresh coat of paint. The shutters were chipping, a few missing entirely.

  She shook her head. Nothing made sense. Jase wasn’t supposed to be here. He should have been married to his high school sweetheart Rachel the second the ink dried on their divorce and living his dream life anywhere but in Cartwright. Yet here he was, and her head now throbbed with a massive headache, stunned by the news that they were still married.

  He hit the garage door opener and one of the two massive metal doors opened to reveal the cavernous void of the garage. One by one, the motion lights around the house turned on to illuminate both the outside of the house and inner darkness as the truck slid to a halt inside the garage.

  Jase turned to face her again. Their eyes met. Tension seeped into every molecule of Cara’s body. Some many old feelings came back to the resurface, ones she’d told herself she’d laid to rest. And old desires. Oh yes, they were still alive as well.

  She’d never be free of Jase no matter how hard she tried to deny his importance in her past. Her future.

  He blew out a low, frustrated-sounding sigh, got out of the truck, and opened her door. He didn’t say a word as he lifted her into his arms.

  Her nerves stretched further from tension. She closed her eyes, wishing that he hadn’t touched her. Hating the familiarity, the comfort she felt from his touch.

  He rambled up the stairs and shouldered his way through the side door that led into the kitchen. Everything still looked the same as it had before when she had the right to call this home, yet time had not been kind to the old place. She glanced around and saw holes in walls, a door missing from its hinges. Evidence of what?

  They passed through the living room, with its enormous stone fireplace situated in the center of a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows. This room had once been her favorite with its startling panoramic view of wide-open Montana pastures. Now, unwelcome memories of all the times they’d sat together, holding hands and cuddling on the threadbare sofa reminded her of all she’d left behind in Montana. Part of her would always call this house home.

  Jase took the steps of the sweeping staircase two at a time, leading to the next level of the house where several guest rooms sat, anxious to be rid of her.

  The bedroom, their old bedroom, was as warm as the rest of the house as he dropped her on the bed, but he didn’t leave.

  He seemed incapable of moving.

  “Jase.” She hated the trembling sound in her voice.

  “At least let me call a doctor.”

  She closed her eyes. “No. I’ll be fine. Please, just leave.”

  After another edgy moment passed where she didn’t dare look at him, but then he did as she asked. He crossed the room without another word and closed the door hard.

  Finally, she could breathe again.

  Chapter Two

  Cara awoke to darkness closing in around her. Her bruised body ached from the simple effort of sitting up. Slowly, her eyes adjusted to the darkness. Something had awakened her.

  Outside the wind howled through the Ponderosa pines. The room at first was unfamiliar. It took only a moment to remember. She’d come home. No, not quite home. She was at Jase’s ranch.

  Her fingers groped for the light switch. Nothing happened. Cara stumbled out into the blackness of the hallway, the wooden floor cold beneath her feet. She’d managed only to remove her shoes before falling asleep.

  Now, she stood frozen in place. It had been only six months since she’d left this house, but the layout of the hall felt unfamiliar.

  She turned in the direction of where she remembered the stairs. Stumbling each step of the way until her searching fingers collided with warm, familiar flesh. Jase. Startled, she jerked her hand away but couldn’t stop the scream that ripped through her.

  Jase reached for her. “It’s okay.” He held her for a moment then lifted her unresisting in his arms and carried her down the stairs to the comfort of his study, where a fire blazed against the cold of the night. He put her down on the sofa close to the fire and knelt in front of her. Taking her cold hands in his, he rubbed them together within the heat of his own. She could see very clearly the concern in the blue eyes watching her closely, never leaving her.

  This was the Jase she remembered. The one she’d once loved. Still loved. Caring. Gentle. Five years her senior, he’d played the big brother part until she grew up and understood that what she wanted from Jase wasn’t a big brother.

  He was still so handsome. His dirty blond hair touched the collar of his shirt. His body hard and lean. the result of years of backbreaking labor on the ranch. Jase was not the type of man to sit idly by, secure in his wealth while others worked the land.

  “I’m sorry I frightened you. The storm took out the power just before I heard you cry out. You were sleeping so peacefully I didn’t want to wake you. Don’t be afraid, everything is okay. You’re safe now, Cara.”

  Safe? She wished that were true. “Jase, I don’t belong here. I can’t stay.” This wasn’t just the storm they were talking about, and she couldn’t handle it. She was too vulnerable. Rehashing the past wouldn’t end well for either of them.

  He shook his head. “You can. It’s up to you. Besides, you can’t go anywhere until morning. The roads are all iced over.” He looked into her eyes. He was as mesmerizing as ever. “So I guess I have tonight to convince all those things you believe about me are wrong.”

  He still held her hands in his calloused ones. She could feel her doubts and resentments fading. She couldn’t let him draw her into his spell once more.

  “It’s no use, Jase. We’re two different people than we were back then. and I know what you did. Why you married me. I know everything.”

  The gentleness in his eyes evaporated before her. In its place was hurt. “You always were stubborn, refusing to see the truth if it didn’t fit into your way of thinking.”

  Jase tossed her hands away and got to his feet, his long legs striding to the stone fireplace. He threw several logs on the fire with more vengeance than necessary.

  Even after their time apart, she recognized the gesture. He needed space to settle his anger.

  “I loved you with all of my heart,” he said, “and I would have done anything – everything - to keep you here, but I couldn’t bear your distrust, Cara. I still can’t.”

  Throughout their time apart, a little piece of her had always believed they’d work it out one day. She’d held onto that hope through all the long, lonely nights in Paradise. Even with the fear and uncertainty concerning her future.

  Looking at Jase’s somber expression now, suddenly, she couldn’t find t
hat hope in her heart any longer.

  Her voice stumbled over his name. “Jase.”

  He grabbed his coat from the rack and headed for the door. “I have to check on the horses. Make sure they’re fed and comfortable for the night. If you still want to, I’ll take you over to Maudie’s place in the morning. You can see for yourself it’s not livable.”

  He didn’t look at her as he left. The wind caught the door from his hands and slammed it hard. It was as closed as Jase now. It seemed to taunt her with its message. Done. Final. Over.

  *****

  He’d taken only a few steps from the house, the blustery north wind fighting him through every one of them. Not that it mattered. He needed to work off his frustration and disappointment.

  Somehow he’d imagined her falling into his arms, ready to forgive and believe him when he told her he wasn’t the same man as before. She hadn’t given him the chance.

  Jase opened the barn door and slipped inside, bolting it again. He tried the light switch, and when it didn’t work, he retrieved the lantern next to the door and struck a match. The mare and her colt were tucked in their stall. Next to them, his father’s gelding, Blue. They raised their heads and snorted as if to ask why he was here tonight.

  “Momma, how are you and your baby doing?” He stroked the mare’s muzzle, and the colt came over to investigate.

  It seemed like lately, he had more of a rapport with animals than he did with humans. He added feed to the horses’ trough and dragged up a chair. Now what? He couldn’t sit out here all night. Like it or not, he wasn’t prepared to bed down with the animals, but for the moment, he needed to be still. Cara’s return had shaken him. He’d given up on ever seeing her again.

  Jase closed his eyes. The silence of the barn settled around him, giving him a sense of peace. The things his father had loved surrounded him. Things to believe in, his old man used to say. Jase wasn’t so sure. Growing up, he’d hated living on the ranch, working cattle, being from a small town. He’d wanted more. Thought he’d found it until Cara.

  “I sure don’t understand your thinking sometimes, Lord, but if you brought her here for a reason, then you’d better help me. Because I don’t think I can convince her that marrying me wasn’t the worst mistake of her life.”

  Outside the wind died away. Even the sleet appeared to have stopped. As if in answer to his prayer, the power came back and the barn’s overhead lights switched on, blinding him for a second. If only he believed in intangible things like miracles.

  Blue reared up on his hind legs, and Jase got out of his chair.

  “Whoa, boy. It’s okay. No need to get worked up.” He rubbed the horse’s muzzle until Blue settled down.

  Jase glanced around the barn. Until this last miserable year spent trying to save the one thing he claimed to hate, Jase had never understood his father and grandfather’s obsession with working the land and passing it down from one generation to the next. But then again, until six months ago, he’d been living life between drinks. With forced sobriety, everything looked different. He found he liked things he’d once despised.

  Sometimes it took losing everything to realize what you had all along.

  Chapter Three

  The lights flickered on, startling Cara. She’d been halfway up the stairs when it happened. She froze. Once her eyes adjusted to the light, she stopped, and her hand stilled on the banister.

  She’d been too upset at seeing Jase again to appreciate her surroundings. Being in the house brought back a slew of memories. Some good. Some not so good.

  Now the obvious became clear. She’d never seen the house in such a state before. There were visible signs of neglect everywhere she looked from sagging doors to stacks of papers to peeling paint. The most disturbing though were the holes. And there were many. As if someone had deliberately smashed their fist through several of the walls and one door. In all the years she’d known Jase, he’d never once been violent.

  Cara remembered Jase’ wild, out-of-control, bad boy behavior as a teen and even into his twenties. It had been part of his charm. She’d wanted to believe he’d grow out of it, yet throughout their brief marriage, he’d continued the pattern of drinking and staying out late. Had those habits spiraled out of control over the past few months?

  The thought was disturbing considering his father had died at the hands of a drunk driver when Jase was barely twenty-three.

  What tragedy happened here?

  The front door opened, and she stood mesmerized as Jase stepped into the foyer unaware of her for a moment. As he moved across the room, she noticed something else she hadn’t before. Jase favored his right leg. He had a noticeable limp. His movement labored.

  She must have made some noise because he glanced up and found her watching him. Their gazes locked. He seemed to read all of her thoughts, including her pity.

  The corner of his mouth twisted into a bitter smile before he untangled his gaze and went into the study, quietly closing the door.

  Cara’s hand covered her mouth to stifle the sob before it could escape. The man who’d been standing before her a moment earlier was a shell of the man he’d once been.

  She ran up the stairs. Closing the door, she leaned against it. This had once been their room, yet it seemed as if it wasn’t used. She crossed to the closet and found it empty. Jase wasn’t using the master bedroom. She clasped her hand over her mouth as a sadness she hadn’t expected to feel welled up inside of her. Why had he chosen not to use their bedroom? Was it just too painful for him or was Jase simply choosing to put their marriage out of his mind. Did it mean so little to him?

  Before she could consider the possibilities why he wouldn’t use the room, a knock came at the door. She opened it and found Jase holding her tattered suitcase. He’d fished it out of the SUV.

  “I thought you might need your things. I don’t think anything got wet, but you’d better check.”

  She took the suitcase from him. “Thank you.”

  He started down the stairs, but she stopped him. “What happened to your leg?” The words were out before she could catch them. Why had she asked? Why keep him here with her any longer. Because she needed to know.

  Slowly, he faced her. She flinched at the bitterness on his face. In the past Jase had always appeared so carefree.

  “An accident. I ran off the road a while back. Smashed my leg up pretty bad.”

  She was too stunned for words. He nodded and left her with more questions than before.

  Cara remembered what her aunt had once said not long before their wedding.

  “Pray for him, Cara. He needs your prayers. He’s been so lost, but I believe God is working in his life. He’ll use you if you let him.”

  Cara set down the suitcase, moved to the bed, and dropped to her knees.

  “It’s been a long time since I prayed for anyone but me, but I’m asking you to help Jase. He needs you.” Her only answer was silence. Would God answer her prayers after so long?

  *****

  The day was not young when Cara finally emerged from their old room. Jase had finished the morning chores hours earlier. He was just polishing off the last of his bacon, eggs, and biscuits when she appeared in the doorway like a deer that had run up in the road in front of a big rig.

  Jase shoved aside the nervous itch in the pit of his stomach. He still wasn’t used to seeing her here again.

  “Want some breakfast?” Last night had been hard. The old resentment he’d felt at her inability to trust resurfaced. Nothing had changed. It took everything for him not to take a drink. In the end, he’d turned to Maudie’s Bible as he had through so many dark days of the recent past. He might not fully believe everything in the book, but it did keep away the demons.

  She nodded without really looking him in the eye. “Sit...please,” he amended when the first part sounded more like an order.

  “Oh, no, I’ll get my breakfast.”

  “Cara, sit. Please.” He got to his feet and pulled out the chair
next to his.

  She did sit without looking at him. From memories of the precious few meals they’d shared together, he poured her coffee and set it down in front of her. He was ready to turn away when her shocked glance threw him. She was finally looking at him. What was up with that?

  “How’d you remember?”

  “‘Scuse me?” It took him longer than it should have to realize she was talking about the coffee.

  She pointed to the cup. “The coffee. How’d you remember how I took it?” Her forehead scrunched up as it did in the past when he’d done something that amazed her.

  “Oh. Well. I don’t know.” It took everything for him not to blurt out the truth. There were few things about her he didn’t remember.

  Jase grabbed a plate from the cabinet close by, hoping it was at least clean and praying she wouldn’t notice the jitters in his hands. Part of it was due to the drinking, but most of it was because of her.

  He plunked down the plate, refilled his coffee, and sat next to Cara. Her body language changed instantly. She was as nervous as a kitten.

  “I was thinking...there may be a way for you to stay at Maudie’s place until the roof’s fixed.” It took a lot for him to spit out those words, mostly because it was the last thing he wanted. Jase wanted her close. He just didn’t want her spooked away before he could come up with one good reason for her not to run back to California where her plates said she’d been living.

  Cara swallowed a sip of coffee and played with the rim of the cup. “Really? How is that?”

  “I have a friend that repairs roofs. You remember Aiden. I called him last night. He’s going over to the place this morning.” He watched her tap out a nervous beat against the cup. “I had Vic Zamora pull your vehicle out of the creek. It’s over at his place. Looks like it’s not going to be drivable any time soon.” Her shoulders slumped. This wasn’t what she wanted to hear.