My Kind of Forever

by Heidi McLaughlin

  It’s the end of summer and life is winding down, or about to explode, depending on which way you look at it. I’m due in about five-weeks and instead of being home and getting ready, I’ve spent the past week and a half sitting on bleachers while I cheer my son and his baseball team on in the Little League World Series. We have one game left – the championship – and Noah is pitching.

  We’re all here; Liam chartered a plane to make sure of it so we could all support Noah and Nick. Harrison, Katelyn and the kids, Jimmy, Jenna and Eden, my parents, Mr. Powell and Ms. James, Yvie and a very pregnant Aubrey... even Bianca is here. Xander has taken the position as team trainer and is on the bench, which is making Liam jealous.

  “Why don’t you use your good eye, you know the one between your –” Liam’s hand clamps down over my mouth, causing me to mumble “ass cheeks” into his hand. When he finally removes it, I glare at him out of the corner of my eye.

  “Jesus, Josie, you’re going to get tossed out of the ballpark. Do you want that?”

  “No,” I say with a huff.

  “You’d think being pregnant would calm you down, but I think it’s making it worse.”

  I turn away from Liam and face Aubrey, who is holding her belly and laughing. As I look around at my family, everyone is laughing, except for Bianca - she’s giving me the thumbs up. Getting kicked out is the last thing I want, but I can’t help it when the umpire makes a shitty call and my son is batting.

  But I know if I got kicked out, it would embarrass Noah and I’m not about to do that. He’s worked so hard to get where we are today. Liam’s right, I need to be on my best behavior.

  “It’s okay, Aunt Josie! If I say it the umpire won’t kick me out; I’m too cute.” Peyton wraps her arm around me and sticks her tongue out at Liam, who throws his hands up in the air.

  “I know, but Uncle Liam is right. I need to be good.”

  Peyton shrugs and wiggles her way in between Liam and me, but leans her head on my bulging belly. Liam and I have decided to wait until the baby’s born to find out what we’re having. He thinks it’s a girl because it’ll be payback for how rotten he’s been and because Nick and Aubrey are having a boy. Liam says that this is his punishment. He says luck is not on his side and he’ll be damned if his daughter marries an Ashford. I usually just nod and agree with him, even though I think we’re having a boy.

  At the end of the inning, Aubrey and I stand and stretch. Since Yvie moved to Beaumont two months ago, she’s been teaching us yoga. It’s helped a lot and I’ve been able to keep my weight gain to a minimum. Not too many expectant moms travel with their yogi, but having her on the trip has been amazing. She’s making sure our blood pressure doesn’t skyrocket from a combination of the heat, uncomfortable seating and ballpark food. I may or may not have eaten my fair share of hotdogs since I’ve been here. I blame the stress and the fact that I’m eating for two.

  Noah takes the mound. He doesn’t look nervous at all, but Liam does. Liam’s hunched over, resting his elbows on his knees with his ball cap turned backwards. I know it’s hard for him to see Noah with Nick, but honestly, it’s been good for everyone involved. Nick loves coaching and has been offered the Varsity Coach spot at the high school. He’s yet to give them an answer, though; he says he needs to get through baseball first and discuss it with Noah.

  Bianca, who was sitting with my mother, comes and sits next to Liam. He puts his arm around her and gives her a hug. This is another thing that’s transpired out of my impromptu trip to LA – a relationship with Bianca.

  When we returned to Beaumont, he went to her and they talked for a long time. She spends more and more time at our house now, and she and I get along pretty well. I’m still hesitant in some regard, but I’m trying. It was Bianca and my mother who cleaned out the nursery to get it ready for this baby. We gave everything we had to Meredith and her son, Daniel. Meredith cried and apologized profusely, but it was the right decision. I see her every now and again at the park, but I don’t talk to her or ask to see Daniel. I’ve closed that chapter and moved on.

  I asked Katelyn not to throw me a baby shower this time. One, I didn’t want to explain to everyone where the other baby was. Two, I want to buy stuff that I like and I’m waiting until I pop this sucker out before I splurge on too much. Katelyn promised me a massive shopping trip as soon as we’re back in Beaumont. It’ll be a girl’s weekend with the grandmas.

  We’re tied one-one with Japan and everyone is on edge. The grandstands are split down the middle, with us having a large cheering section.

  Junior Appleton is catching and as much as it pains me, he and Noah are good friends. Don’t expect me to invite Candy over anytime soon, though. I’m still not over her trying to steal Liam from me... twice.

  I have to stand in between the batters Noah is facing and stretch. My back is starting to ache from sitting down for too long, but thankfully it’s almost over. We’re in the top of the fifth and we’re taking the field.

  “You okay?” Liam asks as he hands me a bottle of water.

  I nod and keep shifting from foot to foot, pressing my hands into my lower back to relieve some of the strain. “Just stiff from sitting for so long,” I tell myself. When Noah strikes out the third batter, ending the inning I sit back down, only to have fingers start kneading my back.

  “Relax,” my mom says as she digs her fingers into my lower back. “You’re full of stress right now and there’s no reason to be.”

  I take a long drink of my water and point to the dugout where her grandson is about to step up to the plate. “He’s my stress,” I tell her. “And yet he’s so calm about everything.”

  “That’s because he’s just like Liam. I remember watching many games and biting my nails because I thought we were going to lose and there was Liam, cool as a cucumber.”

  I bump my leg with Liam’s, and he smirks. “He was cocky, Mom, there’s a difference.”

  Liam turns and winks and I blow him a kiss. When Noah’s name is announced over the loud speaker my mom stops rubbing my back so we can watch.

  “Let’s go, Westbury, keep your eye on the ball!” Liam yells after Noah swings and misses.

  He digs his right foot into the dirt before stepping in to face the batter again. The pitch is delivered and I reach for Liam’s hand, squeezing tightly, as Noah steps with his left foot and starts the bat rotation. The thwack of the ball hitting the bat ricochets loudly throughout the stadium. Our side is yelling at him to run, while the other side is yelling at their kids to drop the ball.

  It’s a hit down the left field base line, good for a double.

  “Okay, Appleton, bring him home!” Liam shouts. Junior Appleton is a big kid for his age, but a damn fine baseball player. He works just as hard as Noah does on his game, spending extra time with Nick. The thought occurs to me that Nick is like everyone’s surrogate dad. He’s always willing to help the kids learn and get better. I know for a fact that when the boys won the state title he was beside himself and almost brought to tears when Liam said he’d cover the charges for the team to fly. We haven’t spoken much since we’ve gotten here because he’s been busy with team and coaching events, but I can’t imagine what he’s feeling right now. Knowing him the way I do, he’s telling himself that this is just another baseball game.

  Junior is faced with a full-count. Liam is as anxious for him as he was for Noah. Candy is on the bottom bleacher, rocking back and forth. I feel her pain.

  The loud clank brings us all to standing. The outfielders are running and Noah is holding tight to second with his eyes focused on Nick. Goosebumps take over and Liam and I squeeze each other’s hand. I don’t know what to watch, the ball or my son. As soon as I see the ball fly over the outfielder’s head, I’m screaming as loud as I can.

  When Noah crosses the plate, I’m jumping up and down along with Aubrey. Two pregnant chicks shouldn’t jump at the same time because it messes up your equilibrium. Liam catches me as I wobble and Harrison grabs a hold of Aub
rey, but that doesn’t stop us. When Junior rounds third, we become louder. Everyone is screaming. The ball is thrown and Junior slides. The whole stadium grows quiet as we wait for the umpire.

  When he goes out wide calling Junior safe, we erupt in cheers. We are up by two runs in the bottom of the sixth. If Noah can hold off the power hitters for the Japanese team, we win.

  “Oh god, I have to pee.’ I cross my legs in an effort to hold it.

  “Want me to walk with you?” My mother offers. I turn and glare at her. She must think I’m nuts if I’m leaving when my son is pitching in the LLWSC game.

  “Are you crazy? I’d rather pee my pants than miss Noah pitching.”

  “She’s not crazy, Josie. She’s just offering. Face forward like a good girl and watch your son. I’m sure by all the daggers you just put in your mom’s chest, she knows you’re willing to pee down your leg,” Liam says as if nothing is amiss.

  “Don’t be gross,” I say to Liam, who throws his hands up in the air.

  As soon as I sit down my mom is back to giving me a massage. I feel a little bad for Aubrey because I’m getting pampered, but I really like it and I don’t want my mom to stop.

  “Come on, Westbury.” Liam is upset because Noah just walked a batter, putting a runner on first base. “It’s just you and Junior out there,” he says, encouraging him to work with his catcher.

  The second batter strikes out swinging. It’s our first out. We’re just two outs away from the championship. All the moms are rocking back and forth with our hands in praying position. The younger kids are the cheerleaders, using their chants to distract the batters. Behind us, the broadcasters are talking and over the course of the ten days we’ve been here, they’ve done specials on certain kids. Noah was one of them. Noah does a lot stuff that makes me proud, but I was over the moon when he answered the question about how it feels to be Liam Page’s son with: “I don’t know Marv, how does it feel to be your dad’s son?”

  After the interview, the broadcaster apologized to Noah and asked to do the interview over again. Noah gave him another chance and finally got to talk about himself and his passion for baseball and football. I’m sure somewhere during the television broadcast they brought up Liam’s high school career and cover from Sports Illustrated.

  The third batter hits a pop fly, which is easily caught by our third basemen. The runner has to stay at first, even though he tried to act like he was going to run. The next batter up is Japan’s big hitter. He’s hit a homerun in every game, except for this one. Junior calls timeout and heads to the mound, followed by Nick. You can tell they’re talking strategy because Noah and Junior have their mouths covered. Nick brings the rest of the infield in briefly before heading back to the dugout.

  “What’s going on?” I ask Liam, who is staring intently at Noah.

  He shakes his head. “Nick’s just calming him down, telling him where he wants the pitches to be.”

  I’m so nervous that my heart is going to burst out of my chest. I close my eyes when Noah starts his pitching motion, opening just in time to see the batter start his swing. The ball is hit and we all stand, our side breathing a sigh of relief when it goes foul.

  “Just you and your catcher, Westbury. Find the sweet spot.”

  “He can’t hear you,” I say to Liam. He glares at me and nods.

  “Yes, he can.”

  “No, he can’t. I asked him once. He said he tunes us out.”

  “No, he tunes you out because you taunt the umpires.”

  “Do not.”

  This time Liam turns and shoots me a look of exasperation. “Seriously, Josie, you’re acting like you’re five. Hell, Eden is more mature than you are right now.”

  I look down the bench at Eden, who has chocolate ice cream all over her face.

  “Great, now I want ice cream.”

  Liam shakes his head and focuses on the game, which I should be doing. The second pitch is a ball, followed by a strike.

  “He’s ahead in the count,” I say, poking Liam in the shoulder.

  “No wonder Katelyn doesn’t sit with you,” he says as he tries to ignore me.

  I can’t help that I’m nervous for our son, who is pitching in the biggest game of his life right now. I want to run out there and hold him.

  Noah winds up and lets go of the ball. Before I can grasp what is happening, Noah throws his glove up in the air and jumps into Junior’s arms.

  I stand and look at Liam. “They won! Oh my god, Liam, they won!” He gives me a quick hug before he starts celebrating. I know he wants to be out on the field with Noah and hates that it’s Nick that got them this far. He’s so proud, though; he doesn’t say anything to Noah when he chooses to go practice with Nick instead of hanging out.

  When the presentations are over, we pick up all of our stuff and head out to meet Noah. I tried telling Liam to go on ahead, but he’s waiting for me, helping me down the stairs. A lot of parents are gathering at the entrance where the players will come out, each of us proud, but half of us somber because someone had to lose. Thing is, if your son or daughter makes it this far, they have nothing to hang their heads about. This is the best there is in Little League Baseball.

  Noah comes running out and right into Liam’s arms. I’ll never get over the sight of those two together.

  A warm sensation washes over me, causing me to feel lightheaded. Hands are grabbing at me, telling me to lie down, but I can’t see who’s talking to me. I can only see Liam and Noah.

  “Josie?” I can hear my dad calling my name, but he seems so far away.

  “Someone call 9-1-1.”

  Yes, I think that would be a good idea.

  “MOM!”

  Noah’s blood curdling scream causes me to freeze. I try to hang on to him as he pushes himself out of my arms, but I’m unable to. Everything is happening in slow motion. The way Noah is falling out of my arms, the way I’m turning just in time to see my wife start to fall to the ground, the way people are looming around her, but moving at a snail’s pace.

  “Josie!” My words are muffled and sound robotic and it takes me what seems like an hour to get to her when she’s only a few feet away.

  Her father is there to help her to the ground, and someone is yelling for 9-1-1. I’m by her side, holding her hand and trying to get the words that are running through my head out of my mouth.

  “NICK!” I scream as loud as I can. He’s a doctor. He’ll know what to do.

  “Josie, baby, can you hear me?” Her lips move, but there’s no sound coming out of her mouth. Next to me, Noah is crying, begging his mother to wake-up. I look up at the people around us, all family, all concerned.

  “Where’s the damn ambulance?”

  “It’s on its way, Liam,” Jenna tells me as she holds a crying Eden in her arms. I turn my attention back to Josie and check for a pulse. She has one, but I’m not sure if it’s normal.

  Nick and Xander bust their way through the on-lookers and bend down next to her.

  “What happened?”

  “She was watching Noah and Liam and started to wobble. I caught her before she fell,” Mr. Preston tells Nick, who has his pen light out and is shining it in her eyes. He’s doing things I’ve never seen him do before. I’ve only seen him be a part of my son’s life, not trying to save one.

  “Nick, is my mom going to be okay?”

  “We need to get her to the hospital so she can be looked at. Remember, Buddy, I’m a doctor for kids like you.” But that doesn’t stop Nick from checking her over. When he places his hands on her belly, I start to panic.

  “Ashford, is something wrong with the baby?”

  “I can’t tell, but I believe she’s in labor.”

  “It’s too early,” both her mom and mine say at the same time. I glance quickly and find them standing together, holding each other.

  I’ve never been so relieved to hear sirens in my life. The EMT’s are instructing people to get out of their way as they bring the gurney over to us. />
  “What happened here?” One of them asks, but is only focusing on Josie. Her father recounts the story while they take quick vitals and place a backboard under her.

  “How far along is she?”

  “Um… thirty-five weeks.” Answering that question is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I used to think nothing would compare to finding my grandma on the floor or watching JD go down, but this, by far, is the worst.

  “What’s her name?”

  “Josephine Westbury,” her father answers for me. I give him a nod in appreciation, hoping he understands why I’m tongue-tied. All around me orders are being barked out and I don’t understand a single one of them.

  “You need to let go of her, Sir.”

  “Wh… what?” I ask, shaking my head. “She’s my wife. I can’t.”

  “You can ride along in the truck, but you have to let go of her.” When they start to lift her, I lock down. There’s a force inside of me fighting. My brain is telling my limbs to move, to let them take her, but my heart is saying no, to hold on tight. I’m losing the battle and can’t stop it.

  Strong hands clamp down on my shoulders, pulling me away from her. I fight, but another set of arms grab a hold of me. Harrison and Xander are keeping me sandwiched in. I could take Harrison, but Xander would give me a run for my money.

  “Come on, mate. You need to be calm for your missus. They’ll let you go with her in the ambulance if you can keep yourself under control. You don’t want that sod going with her, do you?”

  Nick is running after the EMT’s and I’m left standing here. JD’s right. She’s my wife, not Nick’s.

  “I’m cool,” I say, and the hands drop. I take off running, needing to catch up with the ambulance. I pat Nick on the back, telling him, “I got this,” and climb in. The female EMT working on Josie doesn’t look up, but tells me to sit down across from her. I do, instantly taking Josie’s hand in mine. When the doors slam shut, I jump.