Almost Easy (Sinister Ascent Book 1)

by Brittany Clark

  “I don’t know. I’ve been trying to think about it but the only place that I know is the water. Whenever she needs to clear her head and think about things she goes surfing,”

  “Well she hasn’t been out on the water for two weeks,” Axel said sarcastically.

  “I fucking know that. I don’t know of any other place,”

  “Then I don’t know dude. No one knows where she’s at and she’s keeping her phone off. There isn’t much we can do other than wait now,” Blaze said then flinched when a look of pain flew into my eyes.

  “I can’t just sit here and wait. It’s been two weeks Blaze, she can be gone for so much longer,”

  “I know that. I don’t know what you want me to say. She said she needed to clear her head so that she wouldn’t do anything that she would regret. Sounds to me like that’s what you need to let her do,”

  “No, hell no. Brittany said that she was sure that Chloe was going to leave me. If I let her sit there and think everything over then she will damn sure leave me. I can’t let that happen. I need to see her, and explain everything. I will not lose her now that I know how great it is to have her,”

  “How about you clear your own mind for a little while. Think about something else and maybe the answer will come to you,” Cage suggested. I had to admit that lately Cage seemed to be full of great advice.

  “What else am I supposed to think about?”

  “I don’t know. Happier times,”

  “How about when we all went to the mountains and froze our asses off,” Axel asked laughing.

  “That’s the first time Chloe and I had sex,” I responded with a smirk, “We were sharing that tiny ass little tent and freezing our asses off. So we cuddled close for body heat, one thing led to another,”

  “We know dude. We were in the tents right next to you,” Blaze said laughing.

  “Okay, how about the time that we were on tour and one of your guitar strings broke? You flipped out and made the rest of us miserable,” Cage added with a laugh.

  “Yeah, because he is too much of a princess to string his own guitars,” Axel chimed in.

  “It was Chloe to the rescue again. She did it for me and calmed me down.

  This went on for quite a while. Someone would name off some event that happened in our lives and I would spend a few minutes thinking about it before speaking up and saying Chloe’s name. She was always there when it mattered the most, or when it was a life changing moment. Always there right at my side, how did I miss that before?

  “Man, we don’t have any stories that don’t involve Chloe,” Cage murmured.

  “She’s always been there,” I whispered, “Always, no matter what it was,”

  “Duh dude. That’s what we’ve been trying to tell you,” Blaze responded.

  “I’m starting to see it. Any big moment we had she was there. Any time I had a crises she was there fixing it and calming me down. She’s just always been there,”

  “Freezing in the mountains wasn’t anything big,” Axel said.

  “Yes it was. She lost her virginity. It was monumental because when Chloe and I first made love is what started all of this in the first place,”

  “It will all work out Zane,” Blaze said, “You two love each other. You might be a huge asshole, but she’s always loved you for that,”

  “I really hope it does work out. I can’t imagine life without her in it,” I whispered, Cage saw me over thinking everything again so he brought up another memory to distract me.

  “Do you guys remember that one time that we rented that beach house? Zane and Chloe spent the entire time on the water while we dealt with sand that kept finding its way into the house. I swear I got sand in places that no one should ever have sand. That place was horrible,”

  “Wait, what did you say?” I asked leaning forward.

  “That the place was horrible?”

  “No, the place on the beach. Chloe and I spent the entire time on the water,”

  I jumped out of my seat and ran to my computer pulling up a map and trying to find where that place was at. For some reason I knew without a doubt that that was where she was at. If she was going to go anywhere it would be somewhere that she could be in the water whenever she wanted to. That’s why she loved spending time at my house, because I lived on the beach. She wouldn’t have stayed anywhere near here where there was a possibility of running into me.

  “What’s going on?” Blaze asked me.

  “That’s where she is,”

  “Where?”

  “That little house on the beach. Think about it, she would want to be near water but she wouldn’t stay here. So it makes since that she would go somewhere she has been before. Cage said it himself, she stayed out on the water the entire time,”

  “Zane, that was where? Santa Cruz? That’s a far trip if you aren’t positive,” Axel said trying to get me to see reason.

  “No place is too far, I will go anywhere if I suspect for a second that Chloe is there. But I know for a fact that she’s there,”

  “How?” Cage asked.

  “I can’t explain it. I just know that she’s there. Trust me guys,”

  The others sighed but stayed silent. They wouldn’t stop me from going. If I went and didn’t find her I would be disappointed, if I went and did find her then I could try to work things out. Either way there would be no harm in me making this trip, especially if I thought that she was there. There would be no stopping me regardless of what they said. I wrote down the directions and ran upstairs to pack a bag. I didn’t care about anything else at the moment. I wouldn’t be able to rest until I went to this house and saw for myself if she was there or not. But I knew that she was. There was something inside of me telling me that this is where she was and I was going to listen to it. I packed a small bag and ran back downstairs.

  “Will you guys watch my dog while I’m gone?”

  “Sure,” Blaze answered.

  I nodded and ran out the door heading straight for my car. Within minutes I pulled out of my drive way and was on the way to my wife. It might have been insane taking off at a moment’s notice, but if Chloe could do it to get away from me, then I could do it to get her back. I would get her back.

  36

  CHLOE

  I sat on the couch in a rented beach house staring blankly in front of me. This place seemed like a good idea but it was so full of memories of the time that Zane and I spent together, that it was difficult to be here. That mixed in with the news that I had just gotten, although unwelcome, made me very happy and sad at the same time. Now I didn’t know what the hell to do. Giving Zane another chance didn’t seem like a smart idea. He had hurt me over and over again. I didn’t think anything would ever change. I knew that he loved me, that was obvious by the way he had been treating me the past few months, and hell he had gotten my name tattooed on him. Something that he had sworn he would never do. But did that make it all worth it?

  After all I had loved him for years and that had never mattered to him. I couldn’t hurt him though. It might have been stupid after everything he had put me through, but I couldn’t bring myself to cause him pain. Although I wasn’t sure if he would be hurt if I left him. After all it was what he had said he wanted. But now there was more to think about. We were after all married. I didn’t want to be divorced. Signing those papers would say that I was leaving him, that would cause me more pain than anything ever had before. How could I sign something that said we would no longer be together? However if it was really what he wanted to do then I would do it. I was never able to say no to him, and I would do anything to make him happy. Even if that meant he was happy without me.

  I groaned and twisted on the couch so that I was lying down. Everything was now so much more complicated. I had taken off two weeks before to clear my mind and think everything through but I just kept going around in circles. One moment I was sure that I couldn’t give him another chance then the next I couldn’t imagine not being with him. He was the lov
e of my life, he had been for more than twelve years. How could I let all of that go in the end? But how could I stay and endure pain every time Zane decided to be an asshole?

  I was no closer to finding an answer and I didn’t know what to do. There were times when I thought about Calling Blaze, or Brittany for advice. But I wasn’t ready to talk to everyone yet. I knew that he would be there, or they would tell him that I had called right after we hung up. I didn’t want him to find out where I was. If anyone were to hear from her he would do just that. My worst fear would be that he would find me and serve me with divorce papers. That was something else to think about.

  What if I decided to forgive him after torturing myself this entire time with the decision only to have him in the end tell me that he didn’t want me? He had changed his mind so many times before that it wouldn’t be surprising for him to do that. Our last encounter wasn’t a very good one. If anything it ended on such bad terms that I was afraid that he would think I was childish now. I could admit that taking off, not once, but twice wasn’t a mature thing to do. I just couldn’t see him, I would gladly be considered childish then to have to be in the same room with him as my heart shattered.

  My pride had been handed over to him time and time again, it wasn’t something that I wanted to do again. It always hurt me more to lay everything out there for him, only to have him stomp on everything that I was offering. For years I had offered him everything that I had. He had never wanted any of it, and never once offered me something in return. Until a few months ago. But after everything was that enough? Did the last few months we had shared make the past go away? I was afraid that it didn’t.

  Anytime I thought about things like this, those amazing few months snuck up on me. Those dates were amazing, and romantic. Also I now knew what it was like to cuddle with him, he would always press his lips to my forehead when he thought that I was sleeping. His arms would tighten around me anytime I shifted as if he thought that I was leaving and he wanted to keep me there. I couldn’t help it, I missed him like crazy, I wanted to walk into a room and hear him greet me with the ever present ‘hey baby girl,’

  I was in no mood to see or talk to anyone, but when the knock on the front door came it was a welcome distraction from the ongoing thoughts that wouldn’t leave me alone. I had no idea who the hell would be here, I didn’t know anyone around this area. It was most likely a neighbor coming over to say hi and introduce themselves. So when I pulled the door open and saw Zane all thoughts left my mind and had my mouth dropping open. Zane’s eyes scanned over my body slowly. I knew I looked tired, but other than that I looked okay.

  “Hello Mrs. Wolfe, are you going to invite me in?”

  I shut my mouth and moved to the side so that Zane could brush past me into the house. I wasn’t sure what the hell he was doing here, or how he had found me. I did know for damn sure that I wasn’t ready to see him. Especially today after finding out what I had. I heard him drop his suitcase to the floor and turned around to see him. Then I let my eyes scan over him. He still looked so damn good to me. I wanted nothing more than to walk into his arms. I knew that I couldn’t do that. Would I always be so damn weak when it came to him?

  “What are you doing here, Chloe?” Zane asked as he turned to face me fully.

  “How did you find me?” I asked instead of answering.

  “I know every fucking thing about you Chloe. Your favorite food, color and movie. I know where to touch you to make you purr like a cat and I know that you love thunderstorms. But one thing that I know above all others is that when you’re upset you head for the water. You wouldn’t do that anywhere near where I was because you would be afraid to bump into me. Cage said something the other day that reminded me of this place, and I just knew that you were here. Turns out I was right,”

  “I’m not ready to see you,”

  “Tough, here I am,”

  “Why? Are you here to serve me with divorce papers?” I saw him flinch and could admit to myself that it was a low blow. But I couldn’t help it. I was still hurt and seeing him now was making that hurt turn into pure anger. “What do you want from me Zane? What else do I have to give you?”

  “Just you, all I want is you. We need to talk. You have had two weeks to clear your mind. I don’t care if you aren’t ready. I’m here now and I’m not leaving until everything is straightened out,”

  I knew Zane enough to know that he meant what he said. I could yell and scream and demand that he get the hell out but all that would accomplish is making me look like a fool. It would be one big waste of time. He wouldn’t budge until he said what it was that he came to say. I sighed in defeat and walked into the living room. This was not what I wanted, but like everything else over the past twelve years, I would fucking deal with it. Now I was even more confused than ever. One thing I knew for sure was that I couldn't be without him. Even though I was mad as hell and hurt beyond reason, just being in the same room as him, and having him near me made my heart beat faster. I could smell his cologne from where I now was and it made me ache to be in his arms. Even though it would take time, I knew that I would forgive him. I just wished I knew if I was doing the right thing or not.

  “What is there to talk about Zane? Didn’t you say all that you needed to a couple of weeks ago?”

  ZANE

  I clenched my teeth tight to keep my anger down. The way that she was talking to me was so fucking impersonal. It was as if we were strangers. We were far from that. I couldn’t take this. I knew that this was my fault but I didn’t have to like it and I didn’t. Not one damn bit.

  “Chloe, I said those things in anger. I’m not angry anymore,”

  “Well I am. I’m not ready to see you,”

  “Deal with it. I’ve already told you that I’m not leaving,”

  “What more do you want from me Zane? What more can you take? I have nothing left to give,” Her words were whispered and they tore at my heart. I knelt down in front of her cupping her face in my hands.

  “I don’t want you to give me anything Chloe. All I want is you, it’s my turn to be the giver. Ask me for anything and I will do it. Except for leaving, don’t ask me to do that, I can’t walk away from you,”

  “Fine. You said you wanted to talk, so talk,”

  “Let me start off by explaining why I was so mad,”

  “I thought you already did that. I’m a gold digger remember? You had just realized that all I wanted from you was your money,”

  “Damn it Chloe, stop please,”

  “Stop what?”

  “Being so mean. I know that I deserve it, I know that you’re mad at me. I’m asking for a chance to talk to you. Please, just let me,”

  “Fuck! Why can’t I ever say no to you? Go ahead Zane, talk,” I smiled sadly at her words. Even when she was mad as hell at me she still couldn’t say no. Why did I keep hurting this amazing woman?

  “I didn’t like knowing that you thought that we would end,”

  “What?”

  “That’s what a pre-nup says right? That when we split up that one of us won’t get half. You handed me those papers and asked me to sign them and the only thing that I could think of was that you were putting an expiration date on us. I had been trying so damn hard to prove to you that you were what I wanted and I wouldn’t leave you, and there you were thinking that it could happen,”

  “The only reason that I thought that was because of everything that you put me through in the past. I was just trying to make sure that if you did change your mind about us, that you would be protected in the end,”

  “Chloe, you were always the one that said it was time to let the past go so we could work on our future, yet there you were bringing up the past and making it seem like I didn’t want you because of it. I don’t know what else you need me to do to prove to you that I love you, and that I want to be married to you,”

  “Sign the papers,” She responded instantly.

  “I will. If that’s what you want me to do. I will s
ign them as soon as we’re home. I will hate putting my name on those, knowing that if something did happen that you wouldn’t be taken care of, but I would die if I was signing divorce papers instead,”

  “Zane, I’m still not sure. Those things you said about me,”

  “Chloe, they were said in anger,”

  “You made me sound so bad. I wanted you to the point of pain on our wedding night and you turned that memory of mine into something bad. Now every time I think about that night I will remember that,”

  I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against hers. It was clear to me that she was weakening to me already. It would only be a matter of time before she forgave me. I just couldn’t erase the past, and it was clear that it would haunt her for a while to come.

  “Don’t think that way. Our wedding night was amazing and that’s how you should remember it,”

  My words seemed to trigger a switch inside of Chloe that turned her mad again. She sprung up and turned towards me with daggers in her eyes. “No, I am not forgiving you this easy. I am so fucking tired of being hurt by you. You can’t just come in here and make it all go away. That way in three more months when you want to hurt me again you will think that you can because I forgave you all the other times. Well that isn’t happening this time Zane. I don’t want to do this anymore,”

  I felt it then. A faint trickle of fear up my spine. “You can’t do what exactly Chloe?”

  “Any of it!”

  “What does that entail? Loving me? Being with me? Staying married to me? Being my wife? Be more specific of what it is that you can’t do,”

  “Being hurt by you,” she whispered shredding what was left of my heart to pieces.

  “Baby, please, I won’t hurt you anymore. I swear on everything. I know that you have already gave me so many chances. Please just give me one more. I will do anything. I need you Chloe, I can’t let you go. I will never fucking let you go,”

  By this time Chloe had tears streaming down her face. Without another word she turned and ran to the bathroom. I walked in behind her and saw that she was splashing water onto her face. I frowned at her then let my eyes dart around the small room, then froze when they landed on something in the trash. I gently pushed passed her into the room and picked it up. Chloe looked up and caught my eyes in the mirror, hers widening when she saw what I was holding.