Tomorrow was another day. She just needed to get through this one first.
Sara moved to the peephole, something she wouldn’t have checked a week ago.
Stop judging yourself! You’re not a coward. You never were.
Sara didn’t know if it was her voice or Christopher’s in her head anymore. What she did know was that it spoke the truth.
Confidence returned as she placed her eye to the small hole in the door.
And just like that, her confidence was shaken.
The man that stood on the other side of the door stopped her heart.
Jacob—bruised and with a sling over his shoulder.
She flung open the door so hard it hit the wall and closed again in his face. “Wait. I didn’t mean to…” Though it took two more attempts to swipe at the knob, the next time she opened it slowly. “Jacob.” She hadn’t meant to sob his name, but he looked so fragile.
She felt even more fragile. Afraid to hurt him, she didn’t throw herself at him like she wanted. Instead she trailed her fingertips over his right forearm, the one not in a sling. All this time, she’d been worrying about herself and he’d been… what? “What happened?”
“Can I come in?”
“Of course.” She led the way to the couch, but he veered to the kitchen table. Memories of their first night there together had her core tightening despite everything. “Are you okay?” He looked so broken.
“Before I start on the answers you want, I need you to know I’m sorry.” Jacob pulled out a chair, indicating for her to sit before he took the seat across from her. “You aren’t who I made you out to be or who I allowed others to convince me you were.”
“Don’t, Jacob. I’m not innocent of blame.” She avoided his gaze across the small table. “I saw a picture of you with your ex. I’d thought you’d cheated on me and didn’t give you a chance to explain.”
“That’s why you were upset when I came in? Cariño, Elise had told me she had a video of me in the midst of a night terror. She said she’d release it to the press and made it seem as if the two of you were one and the same.” He reached over, squeezing her hand with his good one. “I didn’t believe her. Not at first. But then you ended things like she’d said you would. I thought… Jesucristo, how much of a jackass was I?”
No more than she’d been. “I’m the one who—”
His harsh laughter startled her.
He saw the reaction and scooted his chair closer, drawing her into his good side. Of course, he would understand.
“You did nothing wrong, querida. It was all me.” He rested his cheek against the top of her head.
She didn’t argue, sensing he needed time to collect his thoughts. Needing some herself, she drew comfort from his strong heartbeat under her ear.
“This is unbelievably hard for me. Is it okay if I ask you to not speak until I’m through?” When she nodded, he continued. “The day of your robbery, on my way to you, I caused an accident.” He stroked her hair when she sucked in her breath. “Shh, mi amor. I’m okay. Broken ribs, fractured shoulder, bruises everywhere. But I’m okay. I had a flashback in the middle of the goddamn street. I thought I was in the desert. I thought you were in the desert.”
He shuddered, and she held him as tightly as she dared. She tried not to make too much out of the abundance of endearments. He’d suffered trauma. He was bound to be emotional. It didn’t mean anything.
“My last tour in Afghanistan, I took my guys for supplies. The road was clear and there’d been no reports of trouble that day. When our commanding officers sent the order, we went. Nothing out of the ordinary.”
While he recounted the details, she did as he’d asked and stayed quiet, even when he himself lapsed into periodic silence. She imagined each vulnerability he revealed took a toll on the man since he prided himself on his toughness. It had to cost him to share so much. It must have…
Actually, his voice sounded remarkably sure, his tone clear and measured.
Huh. Was he hiding his pain from her? Did he feel like she’d judge him?
Sara wanted to interrupt him and tell him that he didn’t have to do that, that she’d never judge him, but she kept her promise. Instead, she listened to the detail he went into of the events leading up to his friends’ deaths.
What she heard shocked her, not so much because of what he said, but because of how he said it.
Despite the devastating things he’d relayed, he hadn’t lost control or fought panic, nor had his lips moved against her hair as he silently counted.
Sara pulled back to stare at him. He still spoke, yet he wasn’t fighting for breath like she did when she talked about the robbery.
Oh, Jacob.
He wasn’t broken at all; he was healing.
“Baby, don’t cry. I spent a few weeks in the hospital back then, but came home with nothing worse than what I have now.” He gathered her close again using his injured arm to anchor her in, not understanding her tears were ones of pride, not sadness. “I’m okay. I’m in counseling now.”
His voice did drop at that announcement, but she refused to let him feel less than because of what he’d admitted. “That’s wonderful! I—”
“I’m not done.”
Apparently not.
A blush crept up Sara’s chest while he continued. “I’ve wasted so much time with you. I was on my way to tell you I love you when it all went to shit. Again.”
Jacob loved her? Did he just say that he loved her?
Though her heart clenched at the words, she couldn’t allow herself to believe them. There were still things she needed to hear.
He lapsed into silence and she waited. And waited.
Once enough time passed that she was sure he was finished, she asked about the only thing that bothered her out of what he’d just disclosed. “Why didn’t you have your family contact me? Why didn’t you? I would’ve come.”
“Did you not understand when I said I’d been a jackass?”
Sara chuckled involuntarily.
He tightened his hold on her. “At first, I assumed someone had told you. When you didn’t come to check on me, I figured you were done with us and accepted that you were better off for it. By the time I realized no one had told you, Dad announced he wanted to sell BCF and I wasn’t sure where my life would take me. I couldn’t bring you into that.”
“Wait, your dad? He’s… you’re… BCF?” He couldn’t be serious.
Yet he seemed just that.
“How? Why?” A million questions bombarded Sara, but he merely shrugged.
“I suppose it was time. Does that matter to you? That I won’t be CFO?”
“Why the heck would it?”
“Because as it turns out, the man you thought you knew isn’t me at all.”
Oh, honey… He couldn’t have been more wrong. Sara laid a kiss against his heart. “I’m sorry for not trusting you.” She swallowed through the lump in her throat. “I…” Love you. Yet again, despite his honesty, she stopped herself from saying it.
She waited for the “coward” to come.
What came in its place was acceptance.
Sara was who she was. She needed security, now more than ever, and if taking it slow gave her that, then so be it. “If I quit BCF, will that change your opinion of me?”
Jacob repeated her words back to her. “Why the heck would it? Actually, that’s one of the reasons I’m here. I thought you might prefer to hand over your key to me instead of having to stop in.”
“But my vault?”
“Can be taken care of with two managers present. Harrison and I counted it out before I came here.”
A sob escaped that Sara hadn’t been aware still lingered inside. Of course, he’d known exactly what she’d needed. And he’d given it to her without making her ask.
Sara drew in a deep breath, gaining courage. “Okay, Jacob. Here’s the deal. I like you. A lot. Maybe a whole lot more than a lot. But my life is about to get crazier. I’m moving in with Maddie,
helping out there, starting a new job…”
His arm fell from her side. “I understand. You don’t have time for me.”
“Oh, holy hell, mister. I gave you your chance, now you need to give me mine.” The only thing that stopped Sara from pinching him was the fact that he was injured. She hoped he appreciated her sacrifice. “Of course, I have time. Well, okay, I don’t. But I haven’t ever, yet we found a way, right? No, don’t answer that. What I’m saying is, we’ve both suffered trauma, and we’re both just now learning how to get through it. I want to be with you, but I want to get to know you. A few weeks of hot sex is just that. We still don’t trust each other as a couple yet and that’s what is needed if we’re going to make this work. Time is the only thing that can give us that trust.”
“So you want to get to know me. But no hot sex. For how long?”
“Six months.”
“I guess I’ll be going then.” Despite his words, Jacob locked her in another embrace, his laughter ruffling her hair.
“You really are a jackass, you know.”
“It’s not my fault your tits are—”
“Jacob!” Sara knocked his hand away from its climb to her chest and slid out of his arms.
“Hey, I was kidding.” His voice lost its teasing quality. He leaned forward to twine a stray strand of her hair around his fingers. “I’d wait an eternity for you. Damned if I don’t feel like I already have.”
Liquid butter, that’s what her legs turned into at his smooth tenor. Her heart damn near drowned in it. “How’s your physical therapy going?”
Confusion settled around his eyes, but he answered with a drawled, “Good.”
“Have you been cleared for work and other activities?”
“Do you mean, have I been legally cleared to audit your money? Sara, I’m fine—”
“Answer the question.”
Jacob raised an eyebrow at her, but did as she asked. “I can do pretty much anything that isn’t too strenuous.”
“In that case, we’d better use the chair instead of the table. Me on top.” Sara whipped off her shirt.
“But I thought—?”
“Sadly, that’s the problem with most men. You thought when you should have listened. I said I wanted time to learn to trust you before I profess my undying love. I made no mention of not jumping you at every opportunity.”
“You love me?” Jacob stared at her incredulously, a smile forming on his lips.
“I didn’t say that.”
“Yes, you did.”
Sara shook her head and reached behind her for her bra strap. “The way I see it is, you have two choices here. I said I love you, in which case I’ll freak out and my shirt will most definitely go back on. Or I didn’t say it, you give me six months to make sure what we have is real, and I take off my bra now and promise free access to my breasts any time you want them.”
“I didn’t hear a damn thing,” Jacob growled.
Sara’s giggle died as soon as she removed her bra. After that, she didn’t hear a damn thing either.
Epilogue
Six months later
Sara stood impatiently by the back door, too nervous to appreciate the late summer beauty outside the community center. Sage’s engagement party started in five minutes and Sara couldn’t miss her entrance. Sage would never let her live it down, though her sister would likely be more upset that Bel hadn’t shown up yet. She’d flipped out not ten minutes before, raging about how could the second most important person be missing.
Last night, Jacob had offered to deliver the cake she waited on—his mother having baked it and all—but his last therapy session hadn’t been scheduled to end until twenty minutes ago. She’d ordered a service to do it, instead. People needed a hell of a lot more than twenty minutes to prepare for Sage. The woman had been even more out of control than normal lately.
That reminder only increased Sara’s nerves. She should’ve taken Jacob up on his offer instead of hiring someone she didn’t know if she could trust. They had less than five minutes before Sage reached meltdown.
As if she conjured him by her thoughts, a six-month-old jeep pulled into the lot and parked in the space next to where she stood.
Unable to move, Sara watched while the tall length of Jacob unfolded from the vehicle. “You weren’t supposed to pick—”
“Don’t freak out. I’m here. The cake’s here. We’re all fine. Breathe.”
“No time. We have to hurry.” Sara led the way to the open side door, not bothering to see if he followed before heading straight to the back and the kitchen where people were setting up. When he stepped behind her, she took the container from him, then handed it off to the caterer and shot Bel a “Where are you?” text.
Now she could breathe.
Sara turned around and bumped into the solid wall of Jacob’s chest.
Memories of the first time she’d bumped into his chest in the park and their resulting first kiss warmed her.
His voice added to the appeal, sending shivers up her spine. “Do you trust me?” he asked.
“Yes, but not enough to save me from my sister if we disappear to do what that look in your eye is suggesting we do.” Sara pushed against him, trying not to succumb.
Despite her hands pressing against his chest, he refused to move out of her way. “I’m not playing games. Just answer the question.”
“Do I trust you? Of course. Now can we go find our seats?”
“Why rush? By my watch, we still have two minutes.”
Jacob twirled a strand of her hair around his finger, weakening her resolve even more.
God, but she loved when he did that. She loved everything about the man. How could she not? He was…
Would Sage really miss two measly guests the first five minutes?
A tug on her hair brought Sara’s gaze back to his.
“You are the most well-put-together person I’ve ever met.”
“If you think that’s true then you need to get out more.” Sara was a mess and she’d been one long before he came into her life. She’d spent the better part of the past year talking to a dead person, for goodness sake.
Jacob took both of her hands in his as if none of that mattered and brought them to his mouth for a chaste kiss.
She tried not to—she really did—but she was helpless to stop herself from melting into a giant pile of goo.
He continued to hold her gaze while bringing her hands behind her back in a skilled move that he’d perfected over the last six months. Her breasts pressed into his chest invoking an involuntary moan. Heat, the kind she’d only experienced with Jacob, coursed through her from just that small touch.
She had to tilt her head back to keep looking at him, but she couldn’t stop. The depth of emotion in his gaze came close to drowning her.
With one hand, he held her in position. With the other, he ran something cold up and down her left arm. From her elbow to her wrist, then across her palm, cool metal skimmed her skin before sliding around her finger.
Her ring finger.
On her left hand.
Sara stopped breathing. That couldn’t be what she thought it was.
Yet when he released her, the most stunning piece of jewelry caught the lighting above. An emerald, surrounded on all sides by alternating diamonds and blue sapphires. Platinum setting. Simple. Elegant. “Oh, Jacob, this is gorgeous.”
“No more gorgeous than what I see when I look into your eyes.”
Tears threatened to spill out of said eyes as he looked at her, his heart evident in his gaze.
“You’re my tomorrow, Sara.” His thumb grazed her cheek, swiping at the tears now falling freely. “Every time I stare into these beautiful blue-green depths, all I see is hope on the horizon.”
Because she didn’t know how to process that, she sniffled and asked the only thing she could think of. “When did you get this?”
“Six months ago. A week and a half after the robbery. I’ve carried it around with me eve
r since.”
“And you waited until my sister’s engagement party to give it to me? My crazy sister. Do you have a death wish?”
“I’m kind of curious about that myself.”
Oh, fuck. Sage stood off to the side of the kitchen, her arms crossed over a chest that had wonderfully filled out over the last few months along with the rest of her. Even facing Sage’s anger, it was good to see her sister taking care of herself again.
Sage motioned for them to continue. “Please, by all means, don’t let me interrupt your moment. The one that you’ve waited six months for.”
“Exactly. See, I knew you’d get it.” Clearly unaware of the “crazy” her sister was capable of, Jacob winked at Sage.
She flipped him off.
“Hey, it’s not my fault. As I said, I wanted to do this before. But your sister here gave me a six-month probation period. Technically, it was six months two hours ago, but being the generous guy I am, I allowed Sara time to help you get ready, first.”
“Generous, my ass. I hope she says no until you do the naked hula for her, Va-jay-jay.”
“I hope so too,” Jacob said. “It’d be a great engagement party trick, don’t you think?”
Sara looked between the two of them, wondering when Sage would start throwing things. To her surprise, Sage grinned.
Wow.
Sara took a step back from both of them. “You’re as nuts as he is.”
Sage’s grin only got bigger. “Yep, and you’re the crazy one who loves us both.”
Yes, Sara did. What did that say about her?
Jacob lifted a questioning brow. “I don’t hear you denying it. Does that mean it’s true, Sara? Do you love me?”
Sara hedged. Sage might be ready to tie the knot, but Sara still had unanswered questions. “Do you want kids?” They’d talked about it the last few months in therapy, and Lord knew Jacob was great with Tessa, but having children was a big step for him.
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