Lakeshore Lyrics: The McAdams Sisters (By The Lake Series Book 5)

by Leah, Shannyn

  You have all the cards, don’t back down to Rusty. You are stronger than this.

  Cece wasn’t sure she felt stronger, and she proceeded to open her mouth, but Rusty beat her to it.

  “Jess can you give us a second of privacy. Please,” he asked, rising to his bare feet. The black eye and cut face was nothing compared to the finger marks she’d had to hide around her throat or the bruises that gave the doctors reason to send her on her way with pamphlets about domestic violence.

  Cece didn’t feel sorry for him or the way his body was so exhausted it hardly carried him the distance to touch his wife, who was sending Cece enough dirty looks to fill every day of the year.

  I don’t deserve these looks woman. But neither did she want the ones of pity if Jess knew the truth.

  Rusty’s fingers lightly pulled Jess in the direction of the bedroom door at the back of the bus. Rusty was loaded. This bus wasn’t full of other band members or crew. He could afford his own, private bus. So could Cece, but she hadn’t been at the AHJ for herself.

  When Jess finally shut the door, exactly what Cece wanted, panic almost consumed her.

  They were alone.

  Her eyes darted to the door beside her, she couldn’t stop them. Four steps away. That was all it would take to alert his bodyguards.

  Cece quickly looked back at Rusty who hadn’t turned to her yet.

  “I’m not going to hurt you,” he said as if reading her thoughts. “I can call one of my guys in of that makes you feel safer.”

  Yes.

  “It’s not necessary,” she lied, but at the same time she was searching for the strength inside her to face him alone.

  “I know why you’re here.” He turned then with a grin on his face, but no humor behind it. “It’s the manager in you. Only that side of you could twist your arm to confront me.”

  He knew her well. They’d been together a lot of years.

  His smile dropped. “I already have my people writing up a statement that eases Avery and puts the blame on me and does not involve you.”

  He did? And wouldn’t reveal the truth? That was fabulous.

  “I would have had my manager call you, but I knew...I was hoping you would stop by.”

  Why?

  Cece didn’t have to ask as Rusty continued. “I was a mess the last year of our relationship. I fell onto the dependency of drugs and drinking, plus the tour...it was all a lot.” He paused and Cece watched as his face looked like it was going back to the year that led up to that one night. Remorse laced every last hard line on his face, every wrinkle, and each dark bag under his eyes.

  “I don’t blame the drugs or drinking for what I did to you, but what I did to you stopped both of those addictions.”

  Rusty wanted to explain to Cece, just as he had the other night when she’d run away. What now? Was she going to let him?

  Her silence answered that question.

  “You should have pressed charges after that night. I don’t know why you didn’t.”

  There were so many reasons. The bad publicity they both would have received. The media dragging Riley’s life into it along with the fact he had been missing. The music world would have been sent into a frenzy that her brother wasn’t ready for. Because she didn’t have the strength alone to face all of it. Cece didn’t tell Rusty any of her reasons, he didn’t deserve them.

  “Since the day I walked out of that hospital I’ve been in your debt. For a long time I went through the motions of life. I showed up where they told me. I did what they said. Nothing registered, nothing mattered. I simply felt nothing.”

  Cece swallowed understanding down her swelled throat.

  “Until I met Jess. I didn’t deserve her...not after what I did to you. I didn’t deserve you and I am glad that you’ve found someone who will stand up for you, not put you down.”

  Cece ignored the dampening feeling that Avery might not want her after the talk at the plane. He’d let her walk away. What did that say about their future? That it was non-existent. Give him time. It was a huge revelation to acknowledge. She hoped all he needed was time.

  Rusty’s voice dragged her away from Avery, the man she would rather be standing in front of. “Every single day I think about you. Every day since I left I’ve wanted to phone you. The whole night got so out of control. You confronted me on everything and I couldn’t handle any of it. I lost it and...I’m not making excuses. I promise I blame myself. I carry the blame and I live with it.” He stared at her hard then, but not with anger in his eyes, but assurance. “If you can’t take anything away from this, take that I punish myself every single day for hurting you. The woman who gave me everything and I’m not just talking about my career.”

  That wasn’t as comforting or as consoling to hear as Cece had always presumed it would. In fact it was sad. A part of her was sad for him.

  “I’m so sorry Cece. I took so much from you that night. You don’t have to forgive me. I don’t forgive myself but I am so sorry.” He raked his hands across his face, stopping to inhale loudly before removing them. “I will make sure Avery walks away from this looking like the good guy. I promise you.”

  “I want you to promote his band.”

  “Done.”

  “I want you to make sure they all know you two are friends.”

  “Done.”

  This was much easier than Cece had been anticipating.

  Cece dug up courage to forgive him, or the closest she could get. “I’m not going to pretend I’m stronger than I am and what happened hasn’t affected me these last years, because it has. Every day. But I’m also not going to hold onto it for another single day after I walk off this bus. I don’t know how to say I forgive you when the thought of that night still breaks me. That when the time comes in my life to have a baby and it won’t be created inside me, I can’t say I won’t hate you at that moment.” She took a deep breath, remembering Avery’s promise to stand by her side during an adoption she’d never allowed herself to consider.

  Please let us be alright. Please let Avery come back to me.

  “I thought I knew you. The man I knew I didn’t ever think was capable of what you did to me. But it happened and now it’s over, done and in the past. If you are the man you claim to be right now then I ask you to forgive yourself. For me. For you. For your baby on the way.”

  Tears broke the rim of his eyes and silently spilled down his face.

  “Instead of me leaving feeling the comfort of you punishing yourself, how about the promise that if life ever overwhelms you again like that you will seek professional help before people get hurt?”

  His head dropped.

  “And thank you for clearing Avery.”

  His eyes found hers, a water fountain of blame and forgiveness of sorts. “No, thank you.” He crossed the room so quickly she didn’t have a chance to step away when he embraced her in a strong hug. She did however brace herself for all her returning fear at his touch, only to find it diminished enough that she wasn’t tense and terrified, to ready to run out the door.

  When Cece walked out of the AHJ to the car waiting, she felt a weight lifted. She hadn’t come here looking for anything to heal herself and yet she left with more healing then she’d known possible. And the knowledge that Rusty was a changed man. Or at the very least he was the man she’d always thought he was and had worked through a rough patch in his life. She hoped the best for him and as she watched the AHJ disappear behind her, she prayed for a future with Avery.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  TWO DAYS AFTER Rusty’s statement aired, Avery was finally ready to listen to it. Ready? Hah! He wasn’t ready, he was just damn curious to hear what kind of lies came out of that bastard’s mouth. Would he hide and cower behind his fame like he’d done after he put Cece in a hospital? Run like a coward with his tail between his legs?

  Before today, just the thought of that woman-beating prick had balled Avery’s hands right back into fists. Lord, he was angry. He was angry that Rust
y had touched Cece violently. Angry that Cece had practically given him an ultimatum and angry because he missed her. A lot.

  Avery paused from the task at hand: tackling his dad’s garage. Kent had moved in with Elaine after they were married, taking all his essential tools with him and leaving the garage...well...a damn mess. For a man who could fix anything he sure didn’t know how to put anything away.

  Avery folded his arms across his chest, his jaw firm, like the bulging muscles making contact.

  What kind of man touched a woman the way Rusty had? It was no wonder she freaked out at the AHJ. If he’d known about Rusty, he could have protected her. After all they’d been through and after all they’d shared, why hadn’t she told him about Rusty? Because the manager in her said no? The manager in her. Was that part of her life always going to pop into their relationship and keep secrets hidden to prevent confrontation? Their relationship. What relationship?. As far as she was concerned he either dropped it or there was no relationship.

  “Hey son.”

  Avery hit the statement on pause, abandoning his phone on the workbench to continue sorting the tools back onto the wall.

  “Hey,” he muttered.

  He’d rather be alone.

  “What was that you were listening to there?” his dad asked casually as though he didn’t know. Avery suspected he was well aware and had already listened to the statement with the rest of his family.

  Avery wasn’t ready to talk about it. “Nothing.”

  “Sure sounded a lot like the Rusty Towns statement.”

  Avery paused, wrench mid-air. First of all, who needed so many of the same wrench? Secondly, when had his dad become so involved with his career?

  “This garage is a mess,” Avery said, instead of replying to his dad’s pushing. Even after Kent had stopped drinking, he’d never pried into Avery’s life.

  “You’re right, it is. I was thinking of having a yard sale after all you kids went through it and sell the place.”

  “You’re selling our childhood home?” Why was Avery surprised?

  “Your sisters have all met their other halves and I couldn’t be happier to see them settle down...even Abby. You’re on your way to fame, son...”

  Avery sent him a disbelief look. “Dad, do you remember what happened at the AHJ?”

  “Yes I do.”

  It was life altering...and since he wouldn’t let anyone tell him what Rusty said...it could be career destroying. Truth was, he wasn’t ready to face the destruction of his career. No matter what he told Cece, his band succeeding had always been his dream. He didn’t regret pounding some sense into Rusty, but deep down he was as pissed off at himself for not having better control over his emotions.

  “The only memories you have in here are that of a drunken father.”

  Avery dropped the angry act and looked at a man who wore wrinkled lines from drinking across his face. No doubt a reminder every day of the path he chose after his wife his wife passed and the guilt he felt. “There are a lot of those memories in this house Dad and often they involve you.”

  “That’s nice of you to say son−”

  “It’s the truth, Dad.”

  “The truth is Son, that you put your life on hold for me a lot of those years. I was the adult, the dad, and I should have told you to follow your dreams, but I didn’t want to be alone. I was scared to be alone. I am sorry for that.”

  Avery shrugged. “That’s what family is for. If I had to do it again...I wouldn’t leave you until I was convinced you were ready.”

  “You’re a good man. Stronger than I ever was. Cece is a lucky lady.”

  “I’m not sure where Cece and I stand,” Avery admitted.

  “Why haven’t you talked to her? She’s at your sister’s house.”

  “I know.”

  Avery started pacing, his frustration rising again. He’d thought cleaning the garage was going to work some of the anger out...it hadn’t.

  “That bastard hit her, choked her and sent her down a flight of stairs when she was pregnant,” he snarled at his dad. “She lost the baby and she can’t have kids and I am pissed off.”

  “Is that’s what’s bothering you?” his dad asked. “That you two can’t have children together?”

  Avery stopped pacing and faced his father. “What? No. Not at all.” He leveled a look at his dad. “There are other ways of having children.”

  “I know that, Son.”

  “She’s just letting it go. And I’m supposed to too. I’m supposed to not be angry and want to beat that piece of garbage into tomorrow.” He turned to his dad. “She told me I had to let it go. Don’t let it consume me.” Avery couldn’t help the way he mocked her as he said the words.

  “I see...” his father said, leaning his hip against a work bench and folding his arms across his sunken chest. His dad was tall, lanky and skinny and his eyes spoke volumes. Right now he was sending Avery a look of understanding.

  “I see, what?”

  “I know a thing or two about letting something consume you.” He was talking about Avery’s mother’s death. “When she died I let the loss of her death consume me. In everything I did. Now, as I look back, yes I was sad, but that consumption hadn’t been good for you or your sisters. If I had let it go, remembered her and loved her, but moved on sooner, you children would have had a better childhood. If I could do it again...I wouldn’t let her death consume me the way it did.”

  “Dad, this is different.”

  “Is it?”

  “Yes. The love of your life died.”

  “You’re right. It is different. Because the love of your life is alive and asking you to live life with her. She’s not asking you to forget. She won’t ever forget. She’s asking you not to let what happened to her decide the path of your life. She’s asking you to let it go so you both can move forward together. Don’t you think she deserves to move forward and not have this thrown in her face by you?”

  Avery would never throw it in her face...purposely, but letting it control him was doing it unintentionally.

  “If you don’t think you can look at her and only see what Rusty has done...you should let her go.”

  Avery didn’t see Rusty when he looked at Cece. He saw the woman he loved, wanted to love, and wanted to protect her. If not bringing Rusty into their lives was what he needed to do...that was exactly what he was going to do. Cece had been carrying the incident around by herself for too long and if she was ready to move on, then Avery needed to stand by her side and support her, not become infused with anger every time.

  “You’re right Dad.”

  Kent shrugged. “Once in a while I have my moments.”

  Avery crossed the room, finally feeling better than he had in two days, and embraced his dad.

  Avery had to find Cece, apologize, profess his love and at the same time tell her he wouldn’t let Rusty’s actions consume him. Instead, he would let the love he had for her do just that.

  “Thanks Dad.”

  His dad patted his chest. “There are a few people here who want to see you.”

  A few meant the band.

  Avery knew they had listened to Rusty’s statement. Suddenly, Avery didn’t care about what Rusty had to say. But damned if that man was ever getting within fifty feet of Cece without Avery present.

  Kent opened the door and Drew, Sean and Ems joined them in the garage.

  “I will wait outside,” his dad said. He shut the door behind him.

  This was the first time Avery had talked to them before jeopardizing their band. He owed them an apology and an excuse he couldn’t give.

  “Guys I’m so sorry that this had to include you guys and the band,” he said. “I wish it could have been any other way...”

  Sean hit his shoulder lightly with a half-smile on his lips. “You must have had a good reason.”

  Avery nodded. “I did.”

  “We read the media,” Ems said. “We put it all together and I’m sure whatever he did to C
ece, he deserved way worse than you gave him. You’re not a fighter and we all know that. If there had been another way, we know you would have taken it.”

  “Still I feel like shit destroying the reputation we built and I can never tell you guys how sorry I am that you had to get dragged into it.”

  “Avery we are your friends first,” Drew said. “The band comes second. If you’d needed us to back you up we would have done so.”

  “I need you guys now,” Avery said. “To help me show Cece how much I love her.”

  “You don’t think beating her ex to a pulp shows that?” Drew asked.

  “Actually she’s kind of pissed at me for that,” Avery admitted.

  “What can we do?” Ems asked.

  Avery grinned and opened the door and found his dad waiting against the wall.

  “Do you think Kate could arrange a room for me at the Caliendo Resort for tonight?” he asked his dad.

  His dad’s smile lifted ten years off his face. “Without a doubt.”

  Plan in motion.

  Avery texted Abby the details coming at him, and then told the band to go get their gear cause they had a few hours to learn a new song.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  CECE’S SOLEMN APPEARANCE reflected in the full-length mirror hanging on the back of Abby’s bathroom door.

  So much had changed in less than a week, since the last time she’d evaluated herself in the mirror of the walk-in closet in her penthouse.

  Today, her outfit matched her mood, glum and dark. She paired up a black lace blouse, which was super cute with bat sleeves, over a pair of black skinny jeans. Normally, she would throw in a splash of color in the top or with a scarf. Color was happiness and looking in the mirror she felt anything but cheerful.

  Sure, after the confrontation with Rusty she felt relieved and her step was lighter, her heart more open and her fear squashed...a little.

  Her flight to Willow Valley had held anticipation and hope that Avery would meet her at the small airport outside of town. Abby had promised to tell him that Cece was on her way and, after Rusty’s statement, broadcasted Sunday afternoon, from the AHJ, she thought for sure Avery would be waiting with open arms and a promise that they could move past this with their strong love.