Shark Out of Water (Grab Your Pole, #3)

by Jenn Cooksey

  The weather was perfect that day…we had the floats, wandered around the farmer’s market and all the little stores, and while drinking the best apple cider known to mankind, we watched some pretty funny historical comedy skits. Then after we had our picnic, we picked apples for Jeff who inevitably turned them into a decent pie later that evening, which Camie refused to eat the crust of by wrinkling up her nose when I tried feeding her a bite. That was how I learned she can’t stand pie crust, unless of course it’s a graham cracker crust or cookie dough crust. She ended up eating all the filling and left a perfect triangle of crust on her plate…it was a truly great day.

  I pulled the box out from under the bed and stared into it. It was fairly bursting with the “us” and “we” that she’d eradicated from sight. I sighed and shook my head as my eyes traveled over more than three months of photos and little shit that chronicled the time my baby and I spent falling in love with each other that she’d effectively given last rights to by burying it all inside a box like a coffin and then placing it in the mausoleum underneath her bed.

  Fuck. I mean really, what the fuck am I supposed to do about all this? At least she hasn’t actually rid herself of me permanently so I guess I can focus on that as a positive…

  “She packed everything up and completely cleared the room out so she could paint. She, ah, hasn’t gotten around to unpacking that particular box yet,” Jillian told me quietly.

  “Humph. Clearly… Okay, well, as fun as this is, I gotta get goin’,” I said, checking my watch and then I slid the box back under the bed and stood up, said goodbye to the cats and started to leave. I’d made it to the stairs when Jillian asked for more truth.

  “You know, she’ll be home anytime now…if you didn’t wanna see her, why’d you cut it so close?”

  I stopped at the top of the stairs and chuckled at her. She’s either hunting for more information or she got something wrong. It is possible you know. Jillian doesn’t know everything as she would have you believe, but, she’s damned good at making just about everyone think she does. It doesn’t hurt that she is actually right ninety percent of the time either. But this time, I don’t see where giving her the truth matters one way or the other.

  “I’m not avoiding her, Jillian, I was actually surprised no one was home, but now I have about thirty minutes to get down to the beach for work, so I really do have to get goin’,” I answered and started down the stairs.

  I looked back at her when, with what looked to me to be a suspiciously self-satisfied grin, she said, “Good, because if you were trying to avoid her, it’s too late.”

  And then when she went into her room and closed the door just as I heard the front door being shut, I realized she wasn’t actually hunting for information at all, she was waylaying me. You see? There’s a reason why I called her a terrorist…

  At least I was apprised of Camie’s arrival and was able to get myself out of the close confines of the stairway before she started going up. We did, however, end up doing that awkward dance thing when two people go to step around each other and end up stepping to the same side. I hate that. It always either looks lame, planned, or both. I never plan looking lame. Sadly though, as several moments today have illustrated, it does spontaneously happen from time to time.

  “Sorry,” we both said at the same time. She laughed a little. I didn’t.

  “I was just dropping the girls off,” I told her and tried to inhale as much of the Camie smell as I could without being obvious about it. God, I love that smell…

  “Oh, good. I miss them,” she said and smiled up at the staircase, like she could see Phineas and Ferb from down here. Then it dawned on her that I’d been upstairs in her room and as she shifted on her feet uncomfortably and refused to meet my eyes, she said, “Oh…ahh, so I guess you saw it then.”

  “Mm-hm, it’s nice…the girls already took over the chair.” What was I gonna say? I’d love your new room even more if you’d acknowledge you still have feelings for me by unpacking that fuckin’ box you’ve got stashed under your bed before a goddamned dust bunny colony decides to call it home? Yeah, not gonna happen.

  “Yeah, I figured they’d claim it. Umm…so how was that, ah…party last night?” She asked politely but with something akin to fear, like she just wanted to hear what I’d done there from me before she heard it from half the school.

  The party she’s referring to is the kind that inevitably ends up being the breeding ground for multiple rumors and scandals, which are almost always largely based in truth, and since I’d skipped out on it to sleep because I knew she hadn’t gone either, I decided to put her mind at ease. So with a chuckle and a grin I said, “I didn’t go…I went to Gary’s son’s birthday party for a little bit and I uh…you know, ended up spending the rest of the night in bed.” I added a wink afterwards too…just for fun. Ninety-eight percent of the time I get a smile out of her when I get a little cocky like that, but, it seemed like my answer did less to reassure her and went more to troubling her. Seriously, I didn’t get it.

  “Y—you went to Joey’s birthday party?” She asked as I turned and opened the front door.

  Well, technically I did. I showed up early though and only stayed long enough to give Joey his present and then I hightailed it out of there before the rest of the family arrived and I got stuck talking to Wayne’s mom. Honestly, she’s a nice lady, but fuck. She has no clue what personal space is, she loves me, she thinks her daughter and I are perfect for each other, which is just ridiculously laughable in the extreme, and she can’t comprehend why on earth Mia and I never got together. You know, aside from the little fact that Mia was graduating high school when I was graduating fuckin’ eighth grade. I honestly wouldn’t blame Mia if that were why she left the state last year. Any time she and I are within a thirty foot radius of her mom, her mom ascends on us like a fucking harpy and incessantly points out what the merits of Mia and me being a couple would be and tries to talk us into “going out.”

  Oh, what that woman doesn’t know…

  “Yeah,” I answered and then looked at my watch again before saying, “Hey, I gotta run, I’m guarding a kid’s swim party down at The Plunge in like twenty-five minutes. I’ll see you at school.”

  “Oh, yeah, okay…” Camie followed me out onto the porch and just as I opened my car door and was about to get in she asked hesitantly, “Um, Tristan? Why um…why didn’t you vote for me?”

  Aw fuck.

  I knew it. Didn’t I say that was gonna come back to bite me in the ass? I would love to know what asshole told her about that and then show him or her how much I appreciate it, but right at this minute, I don’t have time to get into it. I do, however, have just enough time to take another shot at reassuring Camie on this one thing…if I dare.

  I leaned against my car with my arms folded and looked first at the sky and then at my baby, trying to make up my mind between giving her the truth or fiction. Taking a breath, I told her the truth, “You know why.”

  By the way, it was more than worth being late to work to see Camie’s forehead wrinkle in confusion and then the small smile she gave herself when she got my meaning right before she turned and went back into her house.

  Fourteen

  Monday, Week Three

  Sic ‘em, girl! ~ Jeff

  Kicking off a Monday morning by arguing with your girl bites and really wasn’t quite what I was going for…

  “Katy, please, I’m begging you…leave it alone,” I said for the umpteenth time since late Friday night while I rolled onto my back, giving up my attempt to put my morning wood to good use. Seriously, I love her more than life, but she’s like a Pit-bull with a bone and, sadly, it’s not my bone she’s interested in chewing on at the moment.

  “Well, I can’t help it, Jeff! I understand you’re keeping your mouth shut so Tristan will trust you again, but honestly, babe, you can’t expect me to stop trying to figure this whole thing out! I mean seriously, what’s his freaking deal?! He breaks up with her, i
gnores her for a week, then he practically took her virginity with one freaking look while we were all standing there watching, then he snaps at her for days after that, then he tells her she’ll do great trying out for cheer like he was saying I love you instead, then he doesn’t vote for her and doesn’t show up to the party for hours, but when he gets there he practically shouts a declaration to anyone who was paying attention that he’s off limits to everyone except Camie who he essentially offered to strip for, and then he leaves not ten minutes later! Does he want her back or something? Because if he does, he’s not going about it very well! Oh! And guess what? Last night Camie told me that he went to Joey’s birthday party Saturday night and he ended up spending the rest of the night “in bed,” which totally has me going back to my theory that he broke up with Camie because he cheated on her…Mia was already back in town and it would’ve been a classic Tristan thi—”

  “Enough! Jesus, Katy…you gotta stop,” I interrupted. Really, I would love to tell her the whole thing, but, I can’t. I can’t even tell her how wrong she is…there’s only one person who can do that and he’s not gonna tell Camie’s best friend shit. Oooh…now that’s an idea. Let him deal with her questions. “You know, Katy, I had to go throw myself at his feet for him to even start talking to me again, so if you wanna know what’s goin’ on, go ask him.”

  “You know what? You’re right. I need to get some things off my chest anyway,” she said, throwing the covers off and getting out of bed.

  “Where are you going? It’s only five-fifteen!”

  “I’m going to talk to him like you said…” she told me, simultaneously grumbling something about the mountain of dirty laundry we have to do and tugging on the first pair of pants and shoes she found that fit her. Then she came back to the bed, sorta-kinda kissed me goodbye—I guess, and then she left me there, still puckered up and staring at her as she bailed our would-be love nest with a frightening case of bed-head and determination written all over her face.

  You know, I really don’t know who to wish luck to…her or Tristan.

  Mediation of custodial friendship ~ Tristan

  Well, it was bound to happen.

  I was swimming before school and was just finishing a lap, but I came up short because there was a pair of female legs in the water preventing me from touching the wall…

  “Morning, Kate. You’re ah…bright-eyed and bushy tailed this morning,” I greeted her and then I immediately submerged my head up to my eyes like an alligator so that on the off chance I can’t control myself, it would be harder for her to notice. She kinda looks like a bushbaby lemur…it’s goddamned hysterical! I mean, I wonder if she knows that a squirrel is living in her hair. Seriously, how do I not laugh at this?

  Of course I found out how when she opened her mouth…

  “Do you want Camie back?”

  Why now? Seriously, it’s too goddamned early for this shit, I mean, the week just started for Christ’s sake. On the other hand though, maybe I should just be grateful for barely making it through the weekend. You know, like count my blessings. The problem is, Kate’s not gonna let me ignore her and seven out of ten times she knows when I’m lying, so, do I wanna risk that my answer will fall into one of the three times she doesn’t? Not so much. Actually, I don’t wanna tell her shit and I’m not gonna.

  “Kate, I appreciate you getting up early to come brighten my day, and I love the new hairstyle you got goin’ on, but if you only came here to talk about Camie, you’re wasting time that would probably be better spent in front of a mirror with a hairbrush.”

  “Okay, fine…I’m really hurt and pissed off at you for not talking to me anymore. You and Jeff made up just fine and he hit you, but I haven’t done anything aside from staying friends with your ex and you barely even say hi to me…we used to be really close too you know. So what the hell, Tristan? I got Camie in the divorce so you and I aren’t friends anymore?”

  I sighed after realizing that although what she said is kind of the truth, it’s not right and now it’s up to me to try to make it better. “Of course we’re still friends, K—”

  “But you’re not letting me be your friend…you won’t talk to me or tell me what’s going on or let me help. I mean, do you not trust me or something?”

  “Look, Kate, I love you like a sister…really, that’s the God’s honest truth, but no, I don’t trust you. I really want to and I know I can in a lot of other ways, but there’s just some information about my life that I don’t want anyone knowing and I simply can’t trust you to keep certain things to yourself anymore…and I know it’s not like you would be repeating anything in an effort to fuck me over, but you wouldn’t be able to help yourself because you’re just too close, so I can’t do it. I hope you can understand that.”

  She blew out a somewhat shaky breath and her voice quavered ever so slightly as she fought back her tears over my harsh truth. “Yeah, I guess I can see why you’d feel that way…but Tristan, I love you too and you’re one of the most important people in my life so please try to believe I would never knowingly betray your trust,” Aw shit…I’m totally doing the alligator thing again…because seriously, after what I went through to keep it together yesterday in Camie’s room, there’s no way in hell I’m gonna let Kate know so she can go off and tell Jeff or anyone that her minor, yet sincere tears are starting to get to me like a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie or something else just as sappy and sentimental in under ten seconds. I’m such a fucking mess… “Please, let me prove it to you…talk to me.”

  “Kate, I would love to, but tell me the truth, what would you do if I straight up told you something that Camie would want to know and that, in your mind, Camie should know? Would you betray her trust to prove to me that I can trust you, even though if she ever found out you kept it from her, it would hurt her just as much as knowing the information you kept from her?”

  She immediately saw my point and sighed in frustration before saying, “Oh God…why? Why does this have to be so complicated? I mean, Tristan, you know you still love her and it’s obvious that you miss her, and okay, yeah, it’s also now obvious there’s more going on than what she knows about, but I don’t understand why you can’t just sit down and tell h—”

  “It’s not that easy, Kate! Jesus Christ, you really don’t get it, do you? I mean don’t you think I’ve given this a little thought? I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t! Seriously, I’m fucking screwed either way, but if I don’t, at least she can live in ignorant bliss!” I told her emphatically, trying to make her understand why I haven’t told Camie anything…that I didn’t break up with her, that I almost raped her, that she already forgave me for that and forgot because she was puking her brains out when she did it and that I stayed by her side the entire time, and least of all that I’ve honestly probably loved her since the first time I saw her and that I still do, because the truth is, I’m prepared to take all of that to the grave with me if it means me not causing Camie any more pain. “Kate, please, if you really wanna be my friend, just do what you’ve been doing and be her friend right now, alright?”

  “Oh, Tristan…I—” Kate said while shaking her head and sighing. “Alright, if that’s what you want…I’ll always be here for you though, I promise.”

  “Thanks, you’re the best, now gimme my towel and then go kill the squirrel on your head,” I said and flicked water at her which made her giggle a little.

  “Is it really bad?” She asked as she handed me the towel and started to run a hand over her hair.

  “Yeah, I’m honestly surprised Jeff let you leave the house looking like this.”

  “He didn’t have a choice…all I did was throw clothes on. Literally. I’ve still got the t-shirt I slept in on under this sweatshirt and I even left without brushing my teeth,” she told me and started laughing again when I made a face.

  “You sat here talking to me this whole time with yuck mouth?”

  “Yeah, I did. I kissed Jeff goodbye too,” she admitted and stu
ck her tongue out at me as I toweled off.

  “Ew, Kate, that’s really pretty gross…poor Jeff.”

  “Oh, like you always got up and brushed your teeth before you kissed Camie or ever opened your mouth to say good morning when you woke up next to her?”

  Huh. She’s right, I didn’t. Why didn’t that bother me as much as it should have? Oh yeah, that’s right, it’s because I’m mentally ill and never thought to brush my teeth before kissing Camie first thing in the morning, like being in love with her makes me immune to having morning breath.

  You know, at some point I’m gonna have to figure out a way to apologize to Camie for that because really, ew.

  An understanding. Er…sort of. ~ Jeff

  “Check this…” Tristan said to me just as he tossed the volleyball in the air to serve it.

  I watched him get a mighty fine jump on the ball and then hit it with such force and precise aim that I was clapping long before it sailed over the net and across the gym to the other game being played to hit his target squarely in the back of the head right as the bell rang dismissing us from the last class of the day.

  “Ow! What the fuck?!” Zack hollered and looked around to see who the culprit was.

  “You mean you felt that? I gotta say, man, I’m shocked! I just wanted to see if I could hit you from over here, but I never thought you’d be able to feel it! I mean, I thought your head was filled with fuckin’ rocks and it would take a bulldozer to get through to you,” Tristan said right away, totally owning the fact that he was the one who hit him with the ball and that he did it on purpose as Zack clambered over to us, rubbing the back of his head.

  I was cracking up.

  “Aside from bein’ a fuckin’ dick, why the fuck did you hit me? After that accident I kinda thought we were done doin’ the whole hating each other thing. I mean, it’s cool if we’re not, I just wanna know,” Zack said and I have to admit, I expected him to be more pissed, but he really wasn’t all that upset, it was more like he was curious. I wonder if his head really is filled with rocks…