Shark Out of Water (Grab Your Pole, #3)

by Jenn Cooksey

  “Honestly, man, I’m not entirely sure but I think I still hate you, just not nearly as much as I did before…but regardless, that was for telling my girlfriend I didn’t vote for her in the tryouts. I mean seriously, why the fuck would you do that?” Tristan asked him. And I’ll admit another thing here; I honestly expected Trist to go off the deep end when he heard how Camie was told about him not voting for her and even more, who it was who told her, but again, I was a bit surprised when he didn’t even raise his voice or threaten to beat the shit out of Zack like I thought he’d want to.

  “Wait, your girlfriend?” Zack asked in surprise.

  “Yeah.”

  “Did you guys get back together?”

  “No.”

  “But you just said she’s your girlfriend…”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Didn’t you guys break up?”

  “Nope.”

  “But, dude, everyone thinks you guys are broken up, you know that, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “But you’re not…”

  “Right.”

  “Um, does she know she’s still your girlfriend?”

  “Uh-uh.”

  “So, shouldn’t someone tell her you guys are still together?”

  “Over my dead body…”

  “Fuck, I’m so confused…do you understand any of this?” Zack finally looked at me in desperate confusion. It was HI-Larious!

  “Sadly, I do…but dude, trust me, you don’t wanna understand this and there’s too much for me to even sum up enough for you get it.” Actually, now that I think about what not understanding all of that felt like, I kinda feel bad for the guy.

  “Okay look, Tristan, I’m gonna be honest, Camie’s really fuckin’ hot but I’ve sorta liked not hating you, and the truth is, she kinda scares me and the two of you are fuckin’ weird about each other and this kind of shit…so, at the risk of hearing the answer and getting even more fuckin’ confused than I am now, I gotta ask, would it be right to assume that you’d wanna break the bones of any guy who takes her to the dance?”

  “Zack, I swear to God, if you ask her to go to that dance I won’t stop with your fuckin’ nose this time,” Tristan told him with barely restrained violence. Finally. I’m not sure if it was Zack admitting how hot he thinks Camie is or that he brought up the dance, but Tristan is now on the verge of hitting him again. Well, he might just for fun…I wouldn’t put it past him.

  “Oh fuck, I’m not gonna ask her…I like her and everything, but she’s always been just as weird about other guys as you’ve gotten to be about other chicks…I just wanted to make sure because she’s huntin’ around for a date to the dance so I just wanna know what to say if she asks me!”

  “Oh. Okay, well, in that case, you say no. And ah…feel free to spread the word that anyone who agrees to take her to the dance will be taking a contract out on their own head,” Tristan informed Zack as he clapped him kinda hard on the shoulder, emphasizing his point. “Oh, and if I were you, I wouldn’t go running your mouth to anyone about the state of my relationship with her either.”

  “Are you fuckin’ serious? I couldn’t even if I wanted to, and if I somehow managed to actually get it right, no one would believe me!”

  “Good, so we have an understanding?”

  “Uh, not really, so, yeah. Oh my God, I’m starting to talk in circles now too…I need some aspirin…” Zack mumbled to himself and shook his head as he wandered away towards the locker room.

  “Trist dude, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…you don’t play nice. Entertaining to watch, but not nice,” I told him as we followed a little behind Zack.

  “Yeah, I know. For fun and to hedge my bets a little, I think I’ll mention to Sasha that Zack’s been checkin’ her out and wants her to ask him to the dance,” Tristan told me with the beginnings of a plan being formulated in his head clearly evident in his expression.

  See, here’s the deal… Sasha and Zack used to go out. Zack really liked her and the feeling was more than mutual. And yeah, Sasha is a nice chick, but she’s as dumb as a box of sticks so when Zack fucked with Tristan’s car last year by putting corn flakes all over the hood on a particularly moist night, completely trashing the paint job, the gloves came off and Trist hit on Sasha who, ah, “momentarily forgot” she liked Zack as much as she did…and she forgot in front of Zack. Like I said, Tristan doesn’t play nice, although sometimes he feels bad afterwards and occasionally, like with that incident, he unknowingly causes himself a little trouble. That whole thing was Zack’s primary motivation for going after Camie when she first started school and he finally realized she and Trist had a thing goin’ on.

  I’m guessing the Sasha/dance thing is Trist’s way of saying, “Don’t fuck with my love life anymore and I’ll help you out with yours.” I’d fuckin’ love it if he could get Sasha to wear a big red bow when she asks Zack to the dance. That’d be Hi-Larious!

  As we came up to the locker room we noticed that the girls must’ve gotten out early because they’d already changed, and when we got close enough to them and Tristan saw Camie behind Melissa, digging in her purse and then holding up a tube of something like she’d just produced it out of thin air and was proud of her trick, he slowed to a complete stop, watched her apply what I’m guessing is her perfume stuff and then he muttered to himself, “Of course, why didn’t I think of that before,” like he’d just solved a puzzle he’d been working on for weeks. Now, I know him pretty fuckin’ well which means I can safely say that watching Camie do whatever it is that she’s doing has absolutely nothing to do with Zack or Sasha, so, I had to ask…

  “Think of what?”

  “Huh?”

  “Why didn’t you think of what before?”

  “You wanna go to the mall and then workout?” He asked instead of answering. You just gotta roll with it…

  “Yeah but I can’t. I’m taking Katy to pick up her Escalade…it finally came in.” Her car was totaled in that accident and she could’ve just gone out and gotten something right away, but after what happened, we both wanted something big and safe for her, however, she wanted some options and a color that had to be special ordered, go figure…

  “Oh cool…okay, well I’m gonna run over there real quick and pick something up, then I’m gonna workout a little, sit in the hot tub for a bit and after that, I’m gonna stretch out and enjoy a leisurely dinner and maybe a movie, but you enjoy being rush hour’s bitch on the way home from Cadillac,” he said, rubbing it in and laughing at me as he went into the locker room to change, the big asshat. And because he knows exactly how much I hate sitting in traffic, I was really tempted to retort with something like, “Yeah, well I get to have sex, so there,” but I figured that would probably get me another bloody nose or something along those lines and honestly, I don’t wanna jinx my chances of gettin’ any in the near future, you get what I mean?

  15.

  Wednesday, Week 3

  What I don’t know ~ Pete

  “Hey, where the hell is the shameful waste of dead sexy that is Tristan? Jamie needs to talk to him,” Hannah asked for Jamie, the girl who’s running the fashion show, as she came up to Melissa and me when we walked into the gym for dress rehearsal on Wednesday.

  And in case you were wondering, Hannah’s one of the girls who wasn’t and still isn’t thrilled with the end of Tristan’s bachelorhood. A lot of the girls in school were actually happy for him and Camie, although there were some who accepted it but really just wanted to see Camie hardcore crash and burn. However, now that Camie’s smoldering, those girls are kinda pouting because Tristan’s made it pretty clear he’s not about to revert back to his former ways. Of course, the rest of the guys in school couldn’t be happier about that and would probably prefer Tristan and Camie get back together, just to be safe.

  You know, when you look at a relationship that everyone’s watching like that, trying to keep what you do on the DL doesn’t sound like such a bad idea after all…
/>   “He, uh, had a doctor appointment after school,” I answered and briefly wondered if I should’ve lied about that.

  Keeping things a secret is something I’ve always done, but I’m starting to get confused about the specifics of what I can say about whom and to whom I can say things to. Maybe I should start writing this stuff down. You know, like, Mr. Ruiz, my Spanish teacher: I don’t know he’s entering a sham marriage to a Puerto Rican waitress because he was gonna be deported…to England.

  Jillian: I know nothing. Or better yet, as far as I know, she doesn’t exist.

  Mrs. Ramsey: I don’t know that she’s been given six months max.

  Mike: I don't know that Mike cheated on Kristen over the summer.

  MaryAnn: I don’t know that Melissa was the only one actually passed out on the beach in Mexico when Tristan found them. I also don’t know that MaryAnn’s virginity and Tristan’s flat out refusal to take it from her when she offered it to him was the real reason he lost that bet with Jeff and Kate. And that was also why he was so hesitant about admitting in that Have You Ever game that he’d made-out with another girl in the tent aside from Camie.

  Melissa and Brandon: I don’t know the most daring place they had sex because I didn’t happen to ride by them that night with she who doesn’t exist.

  Jeff and Kate: I don’t know about the engagement ring. Or the baby.

  Conner: I don't know that Brenna thought she was late and he bought her a pregnancy test and that she took it this past Friday night at Camie’s party. She's not pregnant though, just bad with dates...and math.

  Camie: I definitely NEVER saw Camie naked when she was throwing up the night of her party even if it was only for a split second.

  Tristan: Anything Camie is off limits to discuss. Vasectomy is off limits to discuss as well. Actually, the only things I can discuss with anyone about Tristan are sports and the cats. Unless, of course, either of those circles back to Camie or the vasectomy and then they, too, are off limits (don’t laugh, it could happen…).

  Who am I kidding; I shouldn’t open my mouth ever again…

  “Did you just say Tristan had a doctor appointment?” Camie asked, coming up behind me with Jamie and confirming my previous thought that I should’ve lied.

  “Uh, yeah…it’s no big deal though, it’s like a checkup or something,” I said, now trying to lie. It’s not like I can retract my answer from before or tell them it’s a two-week pre-op appointment and he’s being counseled on his decision to go under the knife. Not that the doctor will refuse him, but because Tristan’s so young, the doctor wants him to be absolutely sure so he had to go in to “discuss” it again.

  “Yeah, a checkup, I’ll bet…” Camie muttered and threw a glare at both Hannah and me. I’m kinda at a loss as to why she’d be so irritated about Tristan going in for a routine checkup tho—oh. Yeah, okay, that makes sense. And yeah, I should just keep my mouth closed from here on out. Camie knows he doesn’t get sick and the only “checkup” he would probably be having would involve the health of his dick, and she’s right about that, but I can’t exactly set her straight on the rest because I know nothing.

  “Well, I hope he gets here soon, I need to prep him for the change. Wait, he does know we’re doing a full dress rehearsal, right?” Jamie asked and then looked over her shoulder when someone called her to come look at something on the stage.

  “Yeah, he knows, he’ll be here in time,” I told her and I was about to go find a quiet place to write out the list of things I don’t know and wait out the thirty minutes or so before I need to change when Camie’s name was called for hair and makeup by a voice I turned to see was attached to a face that had my feet stuck in cement.

  “Hey, she’s kind of familiar… No way, I think that’s the girl I saw Tristan make-out with when he and I w—Brandon! Hey Hotness, what are you doing here?!” Melissa asked in surprise and threw herself at Brandon when he showed up out of the blue.

  I turned back around and hoped to God my shock and panic didn’t show on my face like it did on Camie’s when she saw that Mia is the hair and makeup artist for the fashion show.

  “Oh my God…” Camie barely breathed out.

  I was torn. Do I follow at a distance so I can listen in to Camie and Mia, because you know that’s gonna be interesting. Or do I stay behind and find out why Brandon showed up here with a not quite so easy going expression?

  “Hey Sexy, I need to talk to you, come outside with me for a minute…” Brandon said while walking backwards towards the doors with his arms around Melissa who was riding on his feet and giggling.

  Well, that settles it then; I get to listen in on one of Tristan’s worst nightmares. I honestly think he’d have an actual epileptic fit if he saw or even knew what’s about to happen…

  Here’s the thing about Mia, or, one of the things about Mia anyway. Very few people know who, exactly, she is in relation to Tristan and he would be very happy to keep it that way. And he especially wouldn’t be happy to have Camie and Mia actually talk to each other with circumstances being what they are right now without having prepped either of them. It was bad enough they were in the same house at Wayne’s party and since Mia and he have maintained a “relationship,” for lack of a better word, he didn’t wanna risk any kind of scene or make Camie uncomfortable so he stayed way away. I just hope for Tristan’s sake that Mia stills holds to the “don’t kiss and tell” rule that Tristan holds sacred…

  Goin’ after my dream ~ Brandon

  “I can’t believe this, you know that?!” Melissa half shouted half whined at me. I knew it wasn’t gonna go over well though, so at least I expected this. Well, part of it anyway.

  “What did you want me to do?! Tell the guys we can’t play the Open Air because my girlfriend is in a school fashion show Friday night that I promised her I’d go to and we have a date afterwards?! Seriously, Melissa, this is huge…” Yeah, I’m breaking my promise and date with her to play a gig, but this isn’t just any gig. Duncan got a call last night from one of the guys at that frat house putting us in touch with the person organizing SDSU’s winter music festival who needs someone to fill in for a band that cancelled at the last minute. It’s a real concert where we’ll get to feature our own stuff, and if you’re a band hoping to make playing music your life, you don’t say no.

  “Yeah, it’s huge, I get that, whatever,” she said and folded her arms, fuming.

  “What the fuck is your problem, Melissa?! This is my life, it’s my dream, you know, you’d think you’d be fuckin’ happy for me! This could open up all kinds of opportunities!”

  “Oh, I know it will! That’s the point! It’s bad enough that you play all these places I can’t get into because I’m not old enough and then go out with the guys from the band and your “groupies” without me afterwards, not to mention all the late night rehearsals...” Aw fuck, here we go… If I thought she was just pissed about only being seventeen and me not ditching the guys after our shows that would be one thing, but that’s not what she’s warmin’ up to this time…I can feel it. I just hope this is one of the few times my gut is wrong.

  “Oh you can’t be serious…just what, exactly, are you fuckin’ getting at here?” Don’t say it, Melissa, don’t fuckin’ say it…

  “Seriously, Brandon, do really expect me to believe you’ve never once hooked up with one of those girls? Because I’ve seen you practice and I’ve seen you play, but I’ve never once seen you make it clear to any girl that you wouldn’t be up for anything she might throw out and that’s with me watching! So how can you expect me to be happy about you playing a concert that I won’t be at, where I know you’re gonna cheat on me?!”

  Oh my fucking God… She actually said it. This fuckin’ can’t be happening for real…I mean I knew it’d crossed her mind because she’s always questioning what I’m doing and who I’m with, but she’s never literally accused me. I honestly don’t know whether to laugh or pull my goddamned hair out.

  “You are fucking
unbelievable, you know that?” I ground out, just barely.

  You see, when I said before that Melissa’s the whole package, I wasn’t bullshitting. She’s amazing. She’s smart, funny, fuckin’ gorgeous, and unlike a lot of people, she sees what I’m about on the inside and she believes in me. That last is the big thing, but, her personal insecurity produces a goddamned irrational lack of trust that’s not only unattractive, but it’s also fucking annoying and exhausting, and it makes me beyond fucking pissed.

  “Oh my God, you’re not even gonna deny it, are you?!”

  My gut was right, but it ain’t gonna be pretty and the only thing I can hope to do now is not raise my voice, so almost inaudibly I said, “I shouldn’t have to, Melissa, and, I’m done.”

  “W—Wait. A—Are you breaking up with me?!” She stammered, completely shocked.

  I looked at her; at the shock, anger and distrust that was marring the beauty of what I’d been coming close to honestly loving and tried desperately to preserve some of what was underneath the ugliness for myself, because truthfully, I doubt I’m gonna find anything like this for a long time if ever. I took her face in my hands, kissed her once and then, just like that, having tucked a few beautiful moments away with the hope that they’ll sustain me when I’m alone; I sank my teeth into her neck and tore…

  “I don’t want to, but, I don’t wanna do this anymore either, so, yeah. We’re done.”

  And then I left her there, bleeding out, and walked away from the only girl who’s ever held a good portion of my heart, and, sadly, probably always will…

  Yep. I’m a dead man. ~ Jeff

  Oh my God, Tristan is gonna fuckin’ kill me dead. No doubt. Dead. As a doornail…DEAD.