Sex and the Confession Box

by M. H. O'Hara

  I remembered my envelope with my key card and a little note. Opening it, it read Hey sorry seems we are both running late, enjoy the champagne don’t wait for me to open it ,I’ve booked us a table to eat at “Tiger Lilies Hotel “for seven thirty but I will be back by then,miss you see you soon. I slipped of my coat and placed my bag on the bed and looked out over Edinburgh watching all the people come and go it was so pretty really like a picture postcard. I couldn’t wait to see the city, I turned and opened the yummy champagne, he didn’t need to tell me twice, he always choose this brand and it in itself cost £250,mad but wow! I popped the cork and quickly drew my mouth to the top before the bubbles had a chance to escape I caught them in my lips. Heaven Poured out, these glasses they are that tiny champagne flutes only two mouthfuls in them so I pour two out at once. I drew back my head and savoured the taste of luxury of freedom of success. I pulled of my long black leather boots and took of my jeans and lace blouse and snuggled into the warm fluffy hotel robe and sat by the glorious window and drank my champagne. Anyone looking in at the scene indeed even the hotel receptionist would see nothing wrong with it, but there was I was wrong.

  Wasn’t the Mrs Butler I was Eileen O Neil originally from Ardoyne Belfast and spending the night with her multi-millionaire sugar daddy. Yeah I’d went up the ladder so to speak but not before I fell hard. I still sold myself ,sex my company I still had a price and with Crawford it was high I’d get £5,000 for tonight some of that a Christmas present and we hadn’t met in a while. He was loaded owned so many businesses mainly engineering welding companies that build the likes of train station’s ,he even owned his own small airport had his own private planes and even sold one of his collector helicopters, a Russian one to be used in a “ Mission Impossible Movie”. Sounds like something from a dream, a book but true. We got on really well and I did like him an awful lot he was a total gentleman. He’d been to Eaton of course worked mostly abroad in Dubai and Singapore. He was sixty just turned tall man six foot two good looking had a little work done, chiselled like a English Liam Neelson. On his third marriage, obviously that wasn’t going well who I was to judge or question. He keep me from having to do more than one day a week now for Doreen and I got to get away to these kind of places and pretend I belonged and with our little arrangement I made more money and I could relax and enjoy more time with James .I’d build up a few special clients it was bearable and I got to go to places like this. The champagne slipped down to easy now and I dusted of the bottle no real effect anymore. I opened the second one, fuck him he’s late though I was glad, if he never came. The room was paid for, money was in my account, he’d preferred transfers ,didn’t like to hand me handfuls of cash, made it all so cheap. Another one in denial. POP ,the bottle went and I poured another glass, another bottle. Wine didn’t really have an effect on myself anymore, it had lost its edge, the numbness couldn’t be softened by anything other than her sons tiny embrace or petting for dogs. Home but was she truly with them? Drugs no she wouldn’t do it, bad enough. Stick to the drug of shopping and alcohol just have to get into the hard struff, Vodka Whiskey that’s bound to rub off her invisible black chalked outline. Text came through, be with you in ten minutes darling the text said.Shit she jumped up and ran into the bathroom grabbing her bag as she did and washed her bum and bit’s and then brushed her teeth and tongue. She changed into his Christmas present and poured out a glass for him and another refill for herself. Put on some music and lay seductively across the bed, in a sexy position as if she’d been there holding it for hours, just waiting, just for him. The door opened and in he came. All flushed with the cold but very handsome. Now there’s a sight that would warm anyone up on a cold night like this, he said with his arms outstretched .

  Wearing a sexy Santa teddy with nickers to match all with white fur trim and red fishnet stockings and not forgetting the sexy Santa hat to top of the act. He reached down as she reached up and took from underneath her his Santa trunks. Crawford burst out laughing for me, yes of course now slip those on as they kissed gently on the lips full eye contact, outside to anyone a perfect lovers scene, to perfect. He lifted his glass and went in to freshen up while he talked loudly about what had kept him so late. That’s what I do,women like me do, we set scenes, playact from sideshows to theatre we fulfil that roll but its, just all so temporary and you and the guys all have to take all their costumes when the role is complete and resume life. He came back in and looked daft but very fit, for a man of his age he’d had a very good body a kind of old Sean Connery going on, they both came together kneeing on the bed and clicked glasses “Merry Christmas “he said “Merry Christmas “ I said back and we drank a sip of champagne.He then took my glass and his and sat them on the floor, gently with such care and lust he reached up and began to slip of my santa g-sting and brought it slowly over my thighs and down to my toes and brought them up to his face and smelt them, then looking straight into my eyes so seductively opened my thighs wide and stared down at my shaven pussy and laughed out loud. An extra Christmas present for you.I,d used sequins on my pussy and wrote his name with them. He dived straight in and began to lick and suck so hard like a starved man sucking up noodles that was the type of noises he made, sometimes it was easier to be distracted by this that to think about what was happening, He then reached up and kissed me full on the mouth,with all my juices all around his face and tongue,taste yourself imagine its another girl.

  I,d lick his face furiously panting like a bitch in heat. He then stopped and fondled my breasts and un laced the teddy and grasped a breast firmly with his right hand and began nibbling my nipples while finger fucking me with two fingers,thankfully even now after all the fucking I still had a tight vagina and three fingers or really big cocks was still uncomfortable and often painful for me. I put it down to Pilates ladies keeps the pussies tight! I began to come, no not really but I wanted it over I was starving, you see he was very small and impotent and couldn’t take Viagra due to his health so his getting off was getting me of like this. Perfect! I exploded, writhing and grabbing the bed cover heaving and panting and lot of thank you’s. I found they loved it when you took their faces in their hands and so sincerely say, thank you, god that was amazing. Great for their for anyone’s ego and we all need our egos stroked, especially if you’ve a small penis, worse one that doesn’t work. Tragic. We lay together for a bit and I offered to give him a sensual massage which I am very good at. Later darling lets go out and party I’m in the mood to just let go.

  Sounds wonderful to me I’ll shower he said. Poured himself another glass and tipped me of. Maybe it was the fake orgasm but the champagne was finally starting to do what it should. He was but ten minutes and I went in after him and changed into a very classy black,of course, evening gown. Halter neck showed of my 32dds beauitfully, satin with a net like material over the top with a hint of gold flecks through it. It was made by “Plein Stud “and I loved it. My my my he said. I must say you look amazing as he slipped on my winter coat we both braced ourselves for the Scottish winter winds and walked towards the restaurant arm in arm.With the crispness of the frost ground cracking under my boots, all the Christmas lights and decorations and the smell of all the mixtures of foods form the Christmas market. I was me Eileen. I felt that rush of excitement of Christmas come over me, it’s my favourite time of the year I even married that ass hole on Christmas Eve, now thankfully divorced all clean and done. Free from that cage at least.

  It all overtook me, peoples merry Christmases as we passed the whole atmosphere, over whelmed my facade and I felt that little heartbeat of my childhood, those dreams, me peeking out through the coat to let herself enjoy this moment now. We arrived at the restaurant in “Tiger Lilies Hotel “it was striking and full with office Christmas parties but we went to a quieter more romantic part of the restaurant Crawford had already our wine on hold, which they brought over right away. He also always pre ordered our cocktails We clinked glasses again and sipped our cocktails as the waiter in his class
Scottish accent told us the specials. I ordered the Christmas meal can’t beat a bit of posh turkey and they made it sound so delicious I was salivating. Crawford did same. The wee waiter was very friendly and we both were chatting away about all the party revellers and just casually he dropped a bomb shell without even knowing. He said good news they got those three scumbags in Belfast, arrested them today, I looked at him Crawford did to but not with the same questioning or curiosity! Sorry what three guys I haven’t seen the news today been traveling I said, mainly drinking. The ones that shot that poor wee Catholic priest in Derry, that’s where your from he said looking and nodding to me, your accent aren’t you from Northern Ireland. Yes I said looking down and all around me, Crawford piped in how did they find them? Their own mother handed them in would you believe the three of them were brothers and born into a mixed marriage their father had been a catholic and their ma a protestant and he’d left them so they began hating all Catholic’s. Get what they deserve they will and that wee priest will get some peace. He began to walk away with our orders and something inside me screamed in my head no wait stop this means something.

  I said excuse me, yes ma, do you have any papers with the story in them, no sorry just caught it on the news. Crawford said Darling I can search it for you on line as he took out his blackberry and a few moments later he brought up our local newspaper on-line. Main headlines of the Belfast telegraph read “Father O Kane’s assassin’s apprehended “five months after they callously shot him in the head and left him to die on the side of a road like a dog in the dirt! Eileen stopped breathing she was sitting and reading and looking at this in front of her and she wasn’t breathing she hadn’t even noticed until she passed out, a few seconds later coming round to a swirl of people and Crawford looking all concerned but mainly embarrassed, she’s coming round they said, helping me up onto the chair and offering me a glass of cold water, the restaurant manager was very attentive making sure I was well and that I hadn’t hurt myself. I assured them all I was fine.

  I wasn’,t I had just began to let a little piece of me peak out this christmas night when this me right in the face. Are you alright my dear, Crawford may I look at that story again, the priest story he asked, yes you see Crawford I know him, you do yes. Handing me back the phone I was able to read all that had happened and all I could do was smile, I know it sounds ludicrous I find out my lover was shot and I’m smiling big Cheshire cat smiling, because he’s ok he didn’t leave me he was taken so there he is it all makes sense. But then I read the end of the story only it says he hasn’t regained his full memory and has been transferred to “The Belfast Victoria Hospital “for complete review and due to be released today. The world had stopped I didn’t see Crawford pouring more wine nor the waiter placing my starter in front of me, I did,nt hear the loud music or the laughter. I just heard my heart beating and my souls pulling of all of my being right into that moment I heard Peter saying he’d come back for me.

  I turned to Crawford, I, have to go I said standing up what he said with a mouthful of food? I’m sorry but I must get back to Belfast. The priest? Yes the priest, to Peter.To a life I began only to lose it but now I’m getting it all back. What he said ,listen ill transfer the money back into your account but I must see him. He got up and said ”Merry Christmas” and goodbye and kissed me on the cheek, he could see it in my eyes the sparkle of life, smiling Irish eyes. I kissed him goodbye and rushed into the cold winter night. I ran over to a taxi that had just dropped off a couple at the restaurant and asked him could he take me to “The Glasshouse Hotel “then to the airport, nah problem lassie jump in. In minutes I’d grabbed my bag and all my bits, no riffling the hotel stash today and was on my way to the airport to home to Peter .He would know me, he would. It hadn’t even crossed my mind that there may not even be a plane to Belfast that night or any seats on it for that matter. But these things didn’t seem to fit in my mind, I was on a journey and the Gods were pulling the harnesses.

  Peter’s Christmas

  Chapter 19

  He’d been given the all clear at the Belfast hospital after another brain scan showed him he’s lucky to be alive, a walking miracle, made people believe in faith and god again one wee priest had said. Peter had begun to remember so much more ,when they had brought him to the police station to see if he could identify the gunmen, it was the man’s voice he recognised first,and it was like the blood came rushing to his brain, he saw him, really saw him and remembered him shooting him. So with that the man was charged with murder, the two others may get off as Peter couldn’t identify them, but the police weren’t going to let it go. They had found some of Peters belongings when they raided their house, so that alone tied them to the murder. Cant release them the inspector said evidence. Would you mind please officer, Peter signalled to have a wee look at the items, his necklace, the Saint Christopher them ripped from his throat,why keep that if you dont believe he thought. His watch and passport and a letter opened and addressed to “Eileen O Hara”? He took the letter out of the envelope,he recognised his handwriting and read what was written. Tears filled his eyes and streamed down his face, as he grasped the letter to his heart, and up to his face, sobbing and saying barely incoherently I remember, I remember,I remember her. Eileen, oh dear god he sobbed Eileen. Father the inspector said getting down on his honkers beside him, are you aright father? Get him a glass of water he said to one of the other policemen in the room.

  Father O Kane stood up wiping his tears and just threw his arm’s around the inspector who was speechless, grabbing him by the shoulders, I’m ok inspector,I’m brilliant I remember. Remember what father ,her Eileen he said showing the inspector the letter he had clutched in his fist. He rushed out in such a hurry he nearly ran down the wee policeman who had gone to get the water. Merry Christmas he said d to him.

  In the reception area Father Francis had been sent to collect Father O Kane and bring him back to Saint Anthony’s parish in Ardoyne. Hello lad how are you? You look happy are you alright Father O Kane, could, NT be better he said laughing out loud yes, yes I’m alive for a reason, son. The bewildered Father Francis watched him and was bemused wondering if he was drunk or it was maybe the medication he was on. Right you and me sonny are going on a road trip. But I’ve to take you straight back to the parish Father Harkin is expecting us, you need to rest father. Nonsense that’s all I’ve done, been sleeping even when I was awake I was sleeping no more, missing not a minute more.OK Father where is it you want to go. Antrim to this address, he said holding up the envelope and clutching it so tight you would have thought it was the winning lottery ticket, yes he said yes and slapped the dashboard. Sorry Father you’re not acting right in the head if you don’t mind me saying. I don’t mind you saying and your right I’m not right in the head, I’m outside my head son I’m not thinking I’m feeling with my heart, you know love sonny love. All the blood drained from Father Francis face and despite his excited joy Father O Kane couldn’t miss it, looking at him with a worried expression what is it son he said.

  Forgive me Father, I don’t want to hear your confession ,what are you doing? Please say you,ll hear it or I can’t move. OK I’l take your confession. Forgive me father for I have sinned against God and worst I’ve sinned against you he said turning in Father O Kane’s direction, me he said almost looking over his shoulder, how have you sinned against me. I never told you the truth, I was told not to they all have kept her from you. Father O Kane’s eyes blazed with anger and clarity and to what this young priest had confessed to him. Tell me boy tell me it all he said grabbing him fully by both shoulders, then releasing him, he was just a novice, new priest he was as much a victim here as Peter was. Go on finish your confession, she Eileen came looking for you to the parish, she did he said swinging his whole body back round to face Father Francis full own, when was this what happened, she was shown the door by Father Harkin and I was there on the day, I took her number and promised her I’d see what had happened to you, he told her you’d been t
ransferred and well we both know that’s not what happeend I contacted her and told her all I had found out but then nothing. No more from you, you disappeared and no one was looking as well they thought you’d quit the Church, and well you know the rest. When we found you again we were all told to let you discover, remember on your own. Forgive me, I could tell she loved you so much. Has she been in touch since all the news broke anything from her. If she has she hasn’t contacted me. Peter sat in the car and began to feel the freezing winter frost seep into his heart once more. Maybe she’s gone he said I know she wanted to run, to leave I was going to save her marry her, he remembered the ring and how beautiful it would have looked on her finger. Lets go anyway said Father Francis what have you got to lose, her and I couldn’t lose her twice. Maybe she hasn’t seen the news, not everyone watches it. Thank you Father Francis, but IL go back to the parish now. Are you sure father yes. Home, home to all ill, ever know once more.