Clementine

by R. Jean Wilson

  She left a box of his favorite cookies, peanut butter chocolate chip, on the doorstep of his house so he’d have something nice to come home to after a late shift. He’d acted like a child on Christmas morning when he found them and she was glad her efforts hadn’t gone unnoticed.

  They both upheld the facade while they were at the hospital, barely speaking at all. Still, Addison had free reign to watch him during the morning meetings. She’d study him as he spoke to the group, unable to peel her eyes away from his defined features and elegantly muscled figure. He’d let his eyes fall on her every now and then, an intoxicating feeling spreading over her at the passion clearly visible behind his glance. That glance was almost enough to get her through an entire day of difficult patients. Almost. His gaze would harden as he looked toward the other students, his ‘head resident’ mask slipping back on. She relished those small encounters, collecting them in her mind so she could replay them again and again.

  The only time Addison felt a sense of unease was when she’d spy Stacy wandering around the ward on her break. She didn’t work in neurology or spine, and before she’d realized Addison was back at the hospital, she’d never frequented the ward. At first Addison gave her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she has a friend in the ward she wants to come chat with. However, that pretense quickly faded as the days wore on. Stacy never talked with any of the nurses in the ward. Instead, she’d wait around the spots Holden usually passed, pouncing on him the second he’d walk out of the morning meeting. She’d touch his arm casually, making up a perfect excuse about needing to talk to him, all the while casting quick glances toward Addison. The message she was trying to send was loud and clear: Holden is still my territory.

  Each time Addison saw the spectacle she’d feel a wave of nausea overtake her. She didn’t want to be jealous, she trusted Holden and he’d never given her any reason to doubt his interest in her. It was Stacy she didn’t trust. If anyone had a reason to rat out Addison and Holden to Dr. Warwick, it was Stacy. Therefore, instead of feeding Stacy’s dramatic tendencies, Addison would offer a tightlipped smile and turn in the opposite direction.

  “Has anyone told you that you’re hard to read sometimes?” Addison asked, sitting outside as the sun began to set. The view from her balcony was expansive and being on the third floor of her apartment allowed her to feel secluded enough to enjoy it. She’d studied the last few hours away and called Holden, knowing he would have a break at the hospital.

  She could hear his soft laugh in reply to her question, “Sometimes?”

  “Truly, I don’t think it’s fair. Sometimes you really perplex me. I think it’s your brown eyes. I’ve never been in a relationship with a guy who had eyes like yours so maybe it takes some getting used to. You lucked out with me, my eyes are light so you can probably just see everything,” she laughed, imagining the stark contrast between their eyes.

  “I’d disagree. Your eyes are almost distracting. I’ve never dated a girl with green eyes. Sometimes when you’re talking, I find myself admiring them instead of listening to the conversation.”

  “Holden, I don’t know if I should think that’s adorable or rude,” she smiled, leaning back in her chair.

  “It’s endearing, I assure you,” he quipped. The sun was dipping even lower now, inching towards the horizon and she watched it for a moment before speaking.

  “I really can’t wait to go home soon. The second I’m not swamped with rotations, I’m heading down to Houston,” she declared, knowing it’d been too long since she’d spent a day with her mom.

  “Yeah, you definitely should. The drives not too bad.”

  “Wouldn’t you want to drive down and see your family too?” She asked, vaguely remembering him mention that he rarely traveled home.

  “Nah, probably not.” He answered shortly. She assumed he’d always chosen to stay in Austin because he was too busy with work, but maybe there was another reason.

  “When was the last time you went home?” she asked, hoping she wasn’t getting into dangerous territory.

  She could hear him sigh into the phone, obviously not wanting to be having this conversation. “It’s been a while,” was all the information he gave. She took in his words, trying to recall any details about his family that would make him want to avoid Houston. His sister seemed nice?

  “Well, you can always come back home with me. I think my mom might like you even more than me now,” She laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

  It was obvious it worked when she heard her favorite laugh in the world, “It was the magnolias I brought for you. She loved them.”

  “So true.”

  Addison knew she only had a few minutes left with Holden before his break ended and she was hoping the sun would set completely before they had to hang up.

  “But I’d definitely visit your folks with you... if I get to pick the music during the car ride,” he offered.

  She could practically hear him wink through the phone.

  “Deal, but only because you’re really, really cute.”

  Chapter 26

  It was the Sunday before the last week of her neurology/spine rotation and Addison was at home studying her life away. She only had one more week to endure before the end of her rotation, and the thought served to both excite her and fill her with dread. She was so close to being able to date Holden publically, but she also had a worrisome amount of material to learn before Friday for her rotational review. I mean can’t the brain be a little bit more simple? she thought as she collected the numerous note cards that were scattered across the floor.

  She was reviewing spinal disorders when she heard a knock on the door. She looked up at the clock. 9:30pm, definitely not a salesman? She registered the sweatpants and t-shirt she’d lived in the past two days and slightly cringed as she unlocked the door. Have I even brushed my hair today? Standing on the opposite side of the door, looking devastatingly handsome, was Holden. His tousled hair and shadow of facial hair were a dead giveaway that he’d come right from the hospital.

  She knew she should have run to change and throw some makeup on, and yet she couldn’t fling the door open fast enough. A wide smile spread across her face at the beautiful site standing before her. Holden didn’t even seem to notice her disheveled appearance as he stepped forward and sealed his mouth to hers. She kissed him back urgently, wrapping her fingers through his thick hair. Her body seemed to respond to him as if he was her only source of life. She took a step back without peeling her lips from his. He smiled against her kiss as they managed to stay entangled, awkwardly stumbling into her apartment. Holden kicked the door closed, his attention never straying from her.

  “Do you always answer the door this late without asking who it is?” he asked coarsely.

  It felt surreal to be completely wrapped up in him and she didn’t want to ruin it. She shook her head and leaned forward to kiss him again knowing he’d be mad if she answered truthfully. She could feel him matching her own intensity as the kiss deepened and she knew the white lie was worth it.

  “I’ve missed you so much these past few days,” he spoke softly into her hair. The combination of his words and his hands running softly down her back stirred an irrefutable need within her. There’s no going back now.

  Addison snaked her body against his, trying to make up for all of the times over the past two weeks she’d had to pretend his starkly defined muscles didn’t leave her reeling. All day at the hospital she had to ignore him, so during these times she felt her emotions for him boiling over. He dragged his hands down the side of her torso toward her hips, the heat behind his search making her feel as if she wasn’t wearing anything at all, much less an old t-shirt.

  Neither one of them spoke as his hand slid under her shirt, setting her skin ablaze. His fingers skirted along the top of her sweatpants and she heard a soft moan escape her lips against his mouth. Don’t stop, please. They hadn’t moved from the entryway of her apartment but neither of them seemed to mind. Addison couldn't
tell how much time was passing as the world continued around them. She needed this little escape from studying for just a few more moments. Holden pulled back, trailing loving kisses across her face, on each cheek, her forehead, and the brim of her nose. Addison wrapped her arms around him tighter as he ran his hands down her hair. Just say it, say you love him. He rested his hands at the nape of her neck and tilted her head upwards.

  “I’m stealing you away from this apartment for a little while,” he proclaimed, his voice slightly hoarse with desire. His face was still close to hers and she could feel his breath caress her lips. She knew she wouldn’t be able to resist kissing him again if he remained so tantalizingly close.

  “Really now? Are you taking me to the library so I can study more there?” she joked before giving him another quick kiss.

  “Not exactly. You’ve studied so much this weekend and you still have all week before the exam. I know how much of this material you already know; what you need right now is a few hours of fun,” he declared, continuing to run his hands down her hair and onto her back.

  “Mmm, then why would we leave my apartment for that?” she asked suggestively.

  Holden hung his head, laughing. “You’re making it really hard to have self control right now, Addy.” He ran his hand behind his neck and took a step back. “It’ll be worth it.” Alright fine, Mr. I’m-beautiful-and-have-self-control.

  “You drive a hard bargain,” Addison said sarcastically, appreciating Holden’s dimpled smile.

  Addison managed to change into a pair of jeans and fitted white v-neck before Holden pulled her out of the apartment. He wouldn’t tell her where they were going but she figured it couldn’t be a restaurant or coffee shop since it was already 10 o’clock.

  “Alright since you won’t enlighten me, I’ll just have to guess.” Addison mused, looking out the passenger side window. Her hand was entwined with Holden’s on the center console and his thumb ran slowly across her knuckles.

  Holden smiled warmly, “You can try.”

  She went through the mental rolodex of all the little places he’d taken her before. The observatory, that little improv comedy club, the bakery on 5th, the capitol grounds at night, the old fashioned candy shop on Congress Avenue...

  “My first guess would be something to do with sweets, considering you know me so well, but seeing as all our usual places are closed..." Addison thought aloud, squeezing his hand gently. He always teased her about her love for anything sweet. She was a baked good fiend and proud of it.

  “Somehow you’ll have to manage without them for one night,” He winked.

  Addison kept running through possibilities in her mind when a few moments later they pulled into a random neighborhood. They were near Hyde Park Hospital but she hadn’t known there was anything worth going to on these residential streets, especially at 10 o’clock on a Sunday.

  “When I bike to work, I always pass this place and for obvious reasons I’ve never stopped, but I think it’s exactly what you need right now," Holden spoke, piquing Addison’s interest even more.

  He turned left onto another random street and that’s when she saw it. A large neighborhood playground, complete with a swing set, a massive climbing fort, and an old fashion merry-go-round. Addison couldn’t help but let out a surprised laugh.

  “We’re going to a playground?” She asked, her voice incredulous.

  “I don’t know about you but I haven’t played on one of these since I was about ten,” Holden said parking his car and turning in his seat to face her. He was studying her, waiting for a reaction, and Addison couldn’t wipe the smile from her face. She didn’t say another word. She unbuckled her seatbelt, hopped out of the car, and ran full speed for the swing set. She jumped onto the low hanging seat and pumped her long legs back and forth, slowing gaining speed. She’d already reached a decent height before Holden caught up and starting swinging next to her. There was an unspoken competition to see who could go higher and the two of them laughed as they tried to pump as hard as they could. This was one of Addison’s favorite parts of Holden. He was so composed at work, but when they were alone he was playful and loving. She was one of the few who was granted access to the best parts of his personality and she didn’t take it for granted.

  “C’mon, I’ll push you on the merry-go-round.” Holden offered, jumping effortlessly from the swing. She followed after him, trying to keep up. The merry-go-round was on the far side of the playground and a small grove of trees surrounded it on all but one side. It was wide with four sections and when she hopped up, she fit easily in the center. She found a good spot and wrapped both hands around the chipped metal railing, knowing Holden would push her fast.

  “Are you ready? You should maybe sit down,” he advised, a mischievous look in his eye.

  “Bring it on!” Addison taunted, as she remained standing in her spot.

  Holden shook his head, laughing at her false bravado as he began running with the side of the merry-go-round grasped tightly in his hand. Addison held on easily at first, but as he continued to run the centrifugal force almost got the best of her. She let out a little squeal, finally realizing she should sit if she didn’t want to end up splattered on the ground. She lowered herself onto the metal base unsteadily, trying to focus on Holden’s blurred outline.

  Sitting down gave her more stability and she finally allowed herself look up. The inky black sky loomed above her and the stars spun wildly. She let herself dissolve into the rotating twinkles of light as stress-relieving laughter overcame her. This is exactly what I needed.

  When she felt the merry-go-round slow down slightly she glanced away from the sky and saw Holden hop onto the ride. His weight slowed the acceleration down even more and soon they were spinning slow enough that neither of them had to hold on. Holden sat down facing Addison, his knees brushing hers as the ride continued to spin. He searched her face, his sweltering eyes scanning each of her features. She could have sworn that he was struggling to say something, but they both remained wrapped in content silence. The world spun slowly around them while they remained steady, focused on one another even after the merry-go-round came to a complete stop.

  To Addison, heaven was that moment.

  Addison was reviewing a patient’s chart in the hallway before she looked up and saw Stacy sauntering toward her. Does she even do any actual work at this hospital? Addison quickly glanced back down at her chart, hoping to avoid her completely. Go away, go away, go away.

  “Just the girl was I was looking for,” Stacy drawled out as she drew near.

  Addison bristled at the sound of her voice as she looked up and mustered a tightlipped smile that she hoped spelled out: leave me alone you dumb whore. I should learn that in sign language for instances such as this.

  “Strange,” she muttered under her breath. “Can I help you with something, Stacy?”

  “I was just getting a headcount for our table on Saturday for fundraiser. Holden just confirmed, aren’t you excited?” She paused, allowing Addison a few seconds of confusion before continuing, “Oh wait, I guess students don’t get invited to things like that,” scrunching her nose in feigned concern.

  “Hmm, guess not,” Addison answered, attempting to piece together what Stacy could possibly be talking about. Fundraiser this Saturday? She looked down at her chart, rereading the same line of text, hoping Stacy would get the hint to walk away. My body language couldn’t be any clearer.

  “It’ll be so much better than the one you attended last year. This is black tie and it’s being held at the Driskill Hotel downtown,” she paused, seemingly unaware that Addison still wasn’t looking up at her. “Holden and the other residents will be there along with all the nurses. Our group will probably all ride together in a limo.”

  Addison bit her lip in hopes that it would squelch the urge to set Stacy straight, but nothing helped the fact that she was stuck in the situation. She had to act like Holden meant nothing to her, and over the last two weeks it had worn her dow
n. He’d done everything he could to make it easier for her, but he had no control over women like Stacy. Addison just wanted everyone to know the truth. He’s my Dr. Taylor.

  Luckily a passing nurse noticed Stacy and struck up a conversation, giving Addison a few seconds to slip away so she didn’t have to answer. She could ignore Stacy’s inane comment altogether. Addison made a beeline to the end of the ward where Bethenny was finishing up with a patient. She waited outside the room for a few minutes, pacing back and forth, running through all the possibilities in her mind. Stacy lied about Holden dating his sister and she knew Addison had feelings for him. Don’t listen to her, there’s probably not even a dumb fundraiser.

  She kept repeating those words but she couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. Bethenny, hurry up. She knew she needed to go back and review her patient before 10:00am so that left Addison precisely thirty minutes to fill Bethenny in about all of the secrets she’d kept about Holden. She needed some advice, and it was finally time to fill in her friend about her true feelings.

  At first she’d decided it was best to keep Bethenny out of the loop. She trusted her friend but she’d promised Holden she wouldn’t tell a soul– except her mom of course, even Holden knew that was inevitable. As great as her mom had been about listening throughout the two weeks, Addison needed Bethenny’s opinion now. The whole situation was driving her crazy and somehow Stacy got under Addison’s skin in just the right way to push her to the limit.

  “Addison?” Bethenny asked from behind her. Addison whipped around, not having heard the door open over her own thoughts.