Always Forward

by Ginny Dye

  “How do you plan on doing that?” Robert asked curiously.

  Carrie smiled. “Don’t worry, darling. I’m not moving to Richmond. I’m simply going there to meet him. He has some books for me that have been recommended by Dr. Strikener, and then he will consult with me through letters on any cases I need help with. It will be much faster than waiting for information from Philadelphia.”

  Robert nodded, the relief evident on his face. “I’m happy for you, Carrie. Is the letter from Janie information for you?”

  “I have no idea,” Carrie responded. “I will read it after supper. I’m afraid Annie will be quite upset if I don’t eat first.”

  “As if you ever listen to a thing I say!”

  Carrie and Robert grinned at each other as Annie’s voice floated through the kitchen door. The woman seemed to be able to hear every single word spoken in the house.

  “Quit listening at the door, and come sit down with us to eat,” Carrie called. “We established quite a long time ago that you are not a servant – you are family. Now get in here.”

  Annie pushed through the door reluctantly. “Thank you, Miss Carrie, but it just don’t feel right.”

  “Well, it doesn’t feel right for me to eat when I’m not hungry, but I’m having to do it,” Carrie said firmly. “Now sit down so I can eat my supper.”

  Annie’s face was set with lines of disapproval, but laughter lurked in her eyes when she slid into a chair.

  Robert filled a plate for her quickly. “Thank you for joining us.”

  “Didn’t seem to me like I had no choice,” Annie replied dryly, but pleasure was evident on her face.

  ********

  Moses was already awake when Rose opened her eyes. She smiled when she saw him beside the fireplace, outlined by the flames. “Good morning.”

  Moses turned, smiling broadly. “Good morning. This is a big day. I thought I would surprise you by having the room warm when you had to crawl out from under the covers.”

  Rose smiled, snuggling deeper into the quilts because the darkness outside said she didn’t have to get up yet. “It would be even nicer to have you here with me before I have to crawl out,” she said invitingly.

  Moses grinned, and then quickly joined her. “I’ll be glad when spring comes,” he said, pulling her warm body close.

  Rose bit her lip to not cry out when his cold skin touched her. After all, she had invited him. They watched the flames silently for several minutes. The only sounds were the hissing of damp firewood, and crackling flames.

  “Are you nervous?” Moses finally asked.

  Rose thought about the question. They had talked about her decision at length in the weeks since she had made it. She had thought she felt good about it, but now that it was only hours away, she was surprised how nervous she felt. “Not really,” she lied.

  Moses looked down at her with raised eyebrows.

  “Terrified,” Rose quickly amended. “I just don’t think I should be. No one is making me do this.”

  “Hardly a reason to not be nervous,” Moses observed. “I’ve been doing a lot of things no one has made me do, but that doesn’t necessarily make them any easier.”

  “What if none of the white children come?” Rose asked.

  Moses hesitated. “I think I’m more concerned that they will,” he admitted.

  Rose pushed herself up against the headboard. “What?” Their conversations about her opening the school to all area children had never gone in this direction.

  Moses hesitated. “I received a letter from Matthew yesterday. He couldn’t give me any specifics, but he said the blacks getting the vote in Washington, DC…”

  “Which is a wonderful thing,” Rose said firmly.

  “Of course it is,” Moses agreed, “but Matthew also believes it will ignite more anger and violence,” he said heavily. “He told me we should both be very careful.”

  Rose absorbed his words before she responded quietly. “We agreed we can’t live our lives in fear.”

  “And I still feel that way,” Moses said quickly. “I shouldn’t have said what I did about the white children coming. I just don’t want anything to happen to you,” he said huskily.

  Rose snuggled closer, thinking through what he had said. “The school is already a target,” she said. “We’ve already had to rebuild it once, and we know there are men watching. I’ve done all I can to protect the children.”

  “It’s going to be different now,” Moses said. “Matthew told me that having white children at the school will make vigilantes even angrier because they absolutely don’t believe there should be any mixing of the races.”

  “Then they should build schools for their children,” Rose retorted. She turned to look into her husband’s eyes. “I will be careful, but I won’t miss this opportunity. Freed slaves aren’t the only ones who are suffering. So many of the whites in this area are just as poor as the black families. Their husbands have come home from war, but many were horribly wounded, and there is no work. The children deserve a chance,” she said in a scolding tone. “We talked about this already.”

  “I know,” Moses said heavily.

  “But Matthew told you to try again?” Rose observed keenly.

  Moses shrugged. “He didn’t have to. And, it’s not that I don’t want you to do it. I agree with all your reasons. But I also can’t imagine something happening to you.” He turned and pulled her tightly into his arms. “You have to promise to be extra careful. And…”

  Rose looked up as his voice trailed off. “And?”

  “You have to accept that two of my men will be watching the schoolhouse while you are teaching.”

  “I’ll be happy for it,” Rose said promptly, burrowing into Moses’ solid body. She was amazed that he could give her so much freedom, and also make her feel so cherished.

  “You don’t mind?” Moses asked with surprise.

  “I’m stubborn,” Rose said tartly. “Not stupid.”

  Moses chuckled. “Don’t I know that, dear wife.”

  Hope made whimpering sounds in the corner. Rose turned her eyes toward the crib, and listened. When only silence met her ears, she smiled. “Our little girl is dreaming.”

  Moses gazed at her tenderly. “She’s dreaming that someday she will be as powerful a woman as her mother is.”

  Rose stroked his cheek softly, and then pulled the covers back. “This mother has to get her children taken care of before I head to school.” She pulled her heavy robe on as she moved closer to the fire, savoring the warmth. “Are the men still cutting firewood?”

  “Yes. The last snowstorm brought down a lot of trees. We have plenty for the house, but I have them building mountains of firewood for the tobacco drying barns. It’s much more pleasant to cut it now, rather than in the heat of summer. We ran out last season. I’m making sure that won’t happen again.”

  Rose gazed at him. “You’ll miss all of this, won’t you?”

  Moses nodded, meeting her eyes steadily. “Every minute of the day,” he admitted. “But,” he hastened to add, “I’m also excited about becoming an attorney. As much as I love farming, I will be glad to be of more service to my people.”

  “You still don’t have anyone to take over when we go to college,” Rose reminded him.

  “I know. Simon is happy over at Blackwell Plantation. I just figure someone is going to show up when the time is right.”

  Rose returned his nod, knowing that most of the last six years had been lived with no real knowledge of what the future held. “We’ll just keep walking,” she replied easily.

  “Always forward,” Moses agreed. “We decided we’ll just keep walking forward, and let time show what will come. It’s all we can do.”

  “All we can do,” Rose murmured. She turned to the crib when Hope made noises of being fully awake. “Hello, baby girl,” she crooned as she lifted her sleepy daughter to settle in against her shoulder. She just had time to feed her before John would be awake, demanding food to f
uel his rapidly growing body. At the rate he was growing, Annie declared he was going to be even bigger than his daddy.

  All the worry about school faded from her heart when Hope grinned and gurgled up at her. She always woke happy and alert. A warm determination spread through her as her daughter gazed up at her with trusting eyes. It was up to her and Moses to make a better world for their children to live in. “I won’t let you down, baby girl,” she whispered. “I won’t let you down.”

  ********

  Rose could feel the tension in the air even before she rounded the last curve leading to the schoolhouse. She had left the plantation early enough to get there before any of her students, but the sight that met her eyes told her it hadn’t been early enough. She slowed the carriage, grateful for the presence of two of Moses’ men riding alongside, and took several deep breaths to remain calm before she urged the horses forward to her school.

  It was true she had reached the school before any of her normal students arrived, but the gaggle of white families milling around in the yard amazed her. They had fallen silent when her carriage approached, but all of them were watching her. Rose met each of their eyes before she stepped down, recognizing fear, suspicion, and a cautious hope. Some of the men had hostility written on their faces, but their wives standing beside them with staunch determinism revealed why they were there.

  “Good morning,” she called. “Won’t you all please come into the schoolhouse?”

  Jeb eased up next to her. “We’ll light the fire, Miss Rose.”

  “Thank you,” Rose murmured, glad to have Jeb and Andy there. Both of them were new at Cromwell, but were completely loyal to Moses after serving under him during the war. She knew they would do anything to protect her. She could only hope that would not become necessary. She hung her cape on the hook, taking time to pull her composure together before she turned to face the room.

  “Won’t you all please sit down?” she asked with a welcoming smile. She waited while families settled into chairs, keeping their children close as if they weren’t sure they would be safe. She supposed she could understand. Bringing their children to a school for blacks went against everything they had ever learned – and the way they must have lived all their lives. The world was changing, but accepting that fact didn’t necessarily make it easier.

  “I’m very happy to see all of you here this morning,” she began. She figured she might as well acknowledge the feelings in the room. Ignoring them would not make them any less real. “I can only imagine how difficult it must be for some of you to be here. And I can imagine you are concerned for your children.” She paused. “I know I would be if I were sending my children off to a white school.” She watched as faces twisted with surprise, some melting into a grudging appreciation.

  “I have opened the school to all children because I believe every child needs an education. Public education has become fairly common in the North, but…”

  “I don’t see a need for my child to come to school,” one man growled. “I don’t see no reason for my boy to be forced to live like them Yankees do.”

  Rose opened her mouth to reply, but his wife beat her to it. “You hush up now, Seth. We talked about this already. Josiah is living in a new world, whether we want him to or not. Our boy needs to know how to read and write. This is the only way it is going to happen. Ain’t nobody down here building schools for us, and hiring teachers. If we want our boy to learn, we got to bring him here.”

  Rose felt a rush of sympathy at the frustrated helplessness she saw raging in Seth’s eyes. The limp dangle of his left arm spoke of his years of service. “Josiah is welcome here,” she said warmly.

  Seth eyed her. “I ain’t got nothing against niggers,” he said tightly.

  “I’m glad to hear it,” Rose returned.

  Seth wasn’t done. “I ain’t never owned a slave. Never even wanted to own a slave. I didn’t fight in the war to keep your people slaves. I fought because I was told to fight. And to protect my home,” he added.

  Rose nodded, but he pushed on.

  “I want my boy to have a better life than me, but I ain’t sure what is gonna happen if he comes to school here. I don’t care that y’all ain’t slaves no more, but white people are just better than niggers,” he said flatly. “I ain’t so sure what he can learn from a nigger teacher.”

  Rose took a deep breath, deciding it was best to do a preemptive strike. “I am happy to have Josiah here, but we do not use that word in this schoolhouse,” she said firmly. “You may call me black or negro, but you will not call me a nigger.” She was just angry enough for her fear to not show.

  Chapter Five

  Seth flushed and blinked, but remained silent. Rose was quite certain he had never been talked back to by a black person, and most certainly not a black woman. She turned to everyone else. “Let’s all be honest. If any of you had another choice, you would not be putting your children in this school.” Her eyes swept the room. “You don’t have another choice. My regular students are going to be just as uncomfortable as your children. I hate the idea that my students will be treated as if they are inferior, because they are not. If you decide to have your child become a student here, it will be my requirement that everyone treat each other with respect.” She allowed that thought to settle in before she continued. “I am a good teacher. I can teach your children to read and write. I believe the day is coming when Public Education will be available in the South, and you will have more choices about where your child gets an education. Until that time, this school is your only option.”

  Rose finished speaking, and gazed around the room. At that moment, she didn’t care if every white family stood and walked out. She had known what she proposed was difficult, but she didn’t want the students she had grown to love to have to pay the price for her decision. She rather hoped they all would leave.

  Seth’s wife was the first to speak. “Not all of us feel like my husband, Mrs. Samuels,” she said bravely, turning long enough to fix her husband with a steely glare. “But we’re also afraid of what will happen if our children come to school here.” She hesitated as a murmur of agreement rose up from the other mothers. “There are white people who are going to be real angry that we are letting our children do this. They will say we are making the South weak. We’re afraid of what they will do.” She met Rose’s eyes with a look of desperation.

  Rose knew better than to take what she was saying lightly. Hadn’t she and Moses been talking about the identical issue that morning? “I understand,” she said softly. “I’m afraid of the same thing,” she admitted, understanding when eyes widened with surprise. “Our little school has already been burned down once by vigilantes.” She saw no reason not to tell them the truth. They needed real facts to make the best decision for their children. “We have vigilante groups that watch us sometimes, but so far nothing else has happened.”

  “That’s why them two nig… black men are here?” Seth asked keenly.

  “Yes,” Rose agreed. “But they are also here to protect me from you if it is necessary,” she added evenly.

  Seth blinked again, and then looked away uncomfortably.

  Rose was satisfied she had made her point. “Everyone in this room is here because we want the best for our children. You have brought them to the right place if you want them to learn how to read and write.”

  “Why are you doing this?” Seth demanded suspiciously. “What do you want?”

  “I want to be the best teacher I can be,” Rose replied, “but, yes, it is more than that. I have a four year old son, a one year old daughter, and a twelve year old daughter. They are the joys of my life. They are being forced to grow up in a very different world. The change that has come to the South is going to be difficult for everyone. The only way I can truly help my children is to try and help make life better for them. I believe that if blacks and whites can realize we are not really so different, that it will be easier for my children. Right now I can only change the things in m
y little school, but the day will come when I will do more.” She gazed around the room. “It starts here.”

  The room fell silent, the only sounds coming from the new fire in the woodstove. The air was not warm yet, but the chill was rapidly disappearing.

  A woman who had remained silent so far, stood up in the back of the room. “I thank you, Mrs. Samuels. I want my girl to know how to read and write. I’m willing to take the risk to have them come to school here.”

  Another woman stood. “Me too, Mrs. Samuels. My boy and girl ain’t never been to school a day in their life. You are right about the South being different from here on out. I want my kids to have a chance at a better life. My husband tells me reading and writing won’t help them none, but I don’t reckon I see how it can hurt.”

  Rose watched as heads began to nod around the room. In spite of her misgivings, she felt a flash of triumph. “Let me tell you why education is so important. Slaves used to be able to learn how to read and write. It’s true,” she insisted when she saw the skeptical looks. “It’s when the plantation owners became afraid of slave uprisings that they decided education was no longer allowed. They didn’t want them to be able to read the pamphlets being sent down from the North about a different life.”

  “Why should I care about that?” Seth growled, obviously angry again. “The North done destroyed my whole life.”

  “You should care because the South has done the same thing to you, Seth,” Rose said flatly. “Wealthy people know that education is power. They know that the more knowledge you have, the less likely you are to just go along with what they say. That’s why the South hasn’t created public schools. They have been content to just let privileged children learn. Emancipation has freed the slaves to go to school, and they are going in hordes. But why shouldn’t all white children have the same right? I know you hate that the North won the war, but isn’t it a good thing that your child may have more opportunities?”