Always Forward

by Ginny Dye

  “Things were fine just the way they were,” Seth snapped, but his eyes were uncertain, and he was beginning to look trapped.

  Rose understood, but she knew now was not the time to back down. “Whether things were fine or not is not the issue,” she said directly, letting her eyes roam the room. “The North won. The South lost. Now we all have to build a new life. Don’t you want your children to have the best chances?”

  Seth’s wife stood, her brown eyes flashing with determination under her tan felt hat. “My Josiah is staying right here,” she announced. She looked down at a boy who appeared to be ten, even though he was thin and small for his age. “You gonna do whatever Mrs. Samuels tells you to do, boy. If I hear anything different, you’re gonna have to answer to me. That clear?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Josiah said reluctantly. He looked to his father for help.

  “You do what Mrs. Samuels says,” Seth said curtly. “But you let me know if you have any trouble, you hear?”

  ********

  By the time school started there were twenty white children who joined her forty regular students. Rose had to blink to believe the sea of black and white faces staring at her from the desks. In all her dreams of teaching, she had never once thought it would include white children. It was a completely surreal experience, but one that gave her a deep sense of satisfaction. She had no idea of the long-term results of her actions, but at least she had the knowledge she was trying to make the world better for her own children.

  ********

  Felicia and Amber were silent for the first part of their walk back to the plantation through the woods. A deep cold had settled back in after a brief spring tease. Their frosty breaths rose up to meet the lowered clouds that promised more snow, and their footsteps snapped frozen twigs and limbs scattered on the trail. The only movement was from bushy-tailed squirrels leaping between the trees as if they were having their last playtime before the next storm hit.

  Amber was the first to break the silence. “Do you believe this will work?”

  Felicia rolled her eyes dramatically. “Having all those white kids in school with us?” She shook her head and sighed heavily, a thick plume heralding the words to follow. “I know my mama thinks it will.”

  “But you?” Amber persisted. “What do you think?”

  “I think that whatever we think doesn’t really matter,” Felicia said flatly.

  Amber stopped short, and stamped her foot impatiently. “You can just quit trying to dodge my question, Felicia. I’m only going to keep asking.”

  Felicia stopped as well, but she kept her eyes trained on the clouds. She was silent for a moment before she spoke. “I know things are changing,” she said finally. “I read things every day that tells me it is true. But that doesn’t mean people are changing along with the times,” she added.

  Amber waited quietly, knowing she had to give Felicia time to formulate her thoughts. When the silence finally stretched out too long for her patience, she said, “I heard him, you know.”

  Felicia quit staring up long enough to meet her eyes. “Heard him?”

  Amber stamped her foot again. “Oh, you can quit trying to dance around every question like your mama does. You’re my best friend in the world. I heard what that horrible Josiah said to you.”

  Felicia’s mouth tightened. “He told me I would never be anything but an ignorant nigger.”

  “You should have told your mama,” Amber snapped. “She would have taken care of it.”

  “Perhaps,” Felicia said quietly, “but I have decided I prefer to do it another way.”

  “What way would that be?”

  “Mama would only punish him. That would just make him angrier. I read in a book the other day that the only way to get someone to truly change how they believe is to give them a good enough reason to change.” Felicia held out her hand to catch the first snow flake drifting down through the silvery limbs, a small smile softening her defiant look. “I will defend myself by being the opposite of what he believes I am.”

  “You’re going to show him how smart you are.”

  “That’s right,” Felicia agreed. “I start teaching current affairs again tomorrow. He may not think I’m so ignorant after he hears me.”

  Amber nodded, but looked unconvinced. “My daddy told me that people don’t change how they believe very easy. My mama told me that sometimes people can have all the evidence they need right in front of their face, but if they want to keep believing a lie, they will.”

  “Yep,” Felicia said thoughtfully, “but I’m going to try. It’s a real big thing my mama is doing – opening her school to white children. I’ve decided I’m going to help her as much as I can. I heard her talking to Daddy last night. She said that if we want white people to be tolerant of us, that we have to be tolerant of their stupidity if we want them to change. I’m trying to be tolerant.”

  Amber absorbed that for a minute. “Do you think there will be trouble?”

  Felicia hesitated for a long moment this time before she finally turned and met Amber’s eyes squarely. “I think we can count on it,” she said somberly.

  Amber stiffened. “Why?” She bit back her fear. She had counted on Felicia telling her they didn’t have to worry; instead she had confirmed her worst fear. “What kind of trouble?”

  Felicia shrugged, but her eyes remained dark with worry. “What does it matter, Amber? You and I have faced trouble our whole lives, just because we were born black. I don’t see that changing for a long time.” She took a deep breath as the snowflakes fell faster and heavier. “It will get better,” she announced with forced confidence. Then she summoned up a smile. “We’ve got to get home so you can play with All My Heart in the snow.”

  Amber stared at her for a moment, knowing Felicia was protecting her from whatever she suspected was coming, but the allure of getting home to All My Heart was more tempting than hearing about coming trouble she could do nothing about. She spun, and took off running down the trail. “I’ll beat you!” she called tauntingly, knowing that Felicia wouldn’t even try to catch her. Her best friend would continue to amble down the trail, busy with her thoughts and all the things she studied. All she cared about now was getting home to the dark bay filly that held all her heart.

  ********

  Josiah’s mother was waiting outside the school when Rose had released the children a little early. She was certain the thick clouds were going to produce a deep snow. She wanted to make sure everyone arrived home safely. Before she could acknowledge the other woman, she heard a small voice at her side.

  “I had a real good time today, Mrs. Samuels.”

  Rose smiled down at the earnest little face. “I’m so glad, Violet. It was a pleasure having you. I’m happy both you and Silas were well enough to come.”

  Violet’s head bobbed, her blond curls peeking out from her hat. “Mrs. Carrie made us well!” she announced.

  “Come on Violet,” Silas called. “Mama said we were to come right home!”

  Rose patted the little girl on her head. “You go home, Violet. The snow has started. I’m glad you are feeling better, but you want to get home where it is warm.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Violet replied. “We got us a real warm house now,” she said, lowering her voice to add one more statement. “I think even my papa be real glad about it!’ She smiled gaily before she ran off to join her brother.

  Rose watched her, happy there were at least two children glad to be at school. She took a deep breath before she turned to speak to the woman waiting off to the side for her. Trying to teach in a room that was as tense as a powder keg getting ready to explode had drained her. All she really wanted to do was go home before the snowstorm worsened, but she could tell by the look on the other woman’s face that she needed to talk. She summoned up a warm smile, and turned to her. “Good afternoon. We didn’t actually meet this morning. I know you are Josiah’s mother, but I don’t know your name.”

  “I’m Norma Whitely,” t
he woman answered shyly. “Thank you for having my Josiah. I know Seth probably made you real angry this morning.”

  Rose chose to ignore the last part, taking stock of the red-faced woman with weary eyes. Her long dark hair was pulled back into a careful bun around her narrow face, but every line of her body radiated fatigue. She could only imagine what a hard life she must live. “It’s nice to meet you, Norma. Why don’t you come inside next to the fire?” She could see the woman trembling beneath her thin coat.

  “Just for a minute,” Norma said quickly.

  Rose watched as Norma edged close to the wood stove, all the while maintaining a proud, erect posture. “How can I help you?” She suspected Norma had sent Josiah home before her to do more than just say thank you.

  “I’m real sorry about them things Seth said this morning,” Norma said earnestly.

  Rose knew what she was really saying. “I know you are, Norma. You don’t need to be worried. I will not count it against Josiah. I think your son is a fine boy.” She had decided to not mention that she saw the same mean streak in the boy that she saw in the father. It was the job of a teacher to bring out the best in each student. She would strive to do just that.

  Norma ducked her head before she looked back up with a small smile. “Thank you, Mrs. Samuels. I’m trying real hard to make sure he don’t carry the same anger as his daddy. The war years were hard on all of us. Josiah had to do things no child should ever have had to do.”

  Rose’s heart swelled with sympathy. “Too many children never had a chance to be children,” she said gently. “All we can do is try and give that to them now.”

  Norma nodded, her face saying she was glad Rose understood. Then she arrived at the real reason she had waited. “Do you ever teach more than just children?”

  “All the time,” Rose said promptly. “We’re waiting for it to warm up a little, but I teach adults how to read and write, too.” She waited before she said more, not wanting to assume Norma was asking for herself.

  Norma hesitated, and then looked into her eyes boldly. “Will you teach me? How to read and write? I ain’t never learned how.”

  Rose nodded, pushing aside the thought of how much more challenging it would be to fill a school with black and white adults. “Absolutely,” she said firmly, hoping she wasn’t making a serious mistake. If she thought filling a room with black and white children created a tense situation, what would it be like to mix Confederate veterans and former slaves? It didn’t matter, though. There was no handbook for living in this new world. Everyone, including her, would have to figure it out as they moved forward.

  “Really?” Norma’s face flooded with relief.

  Rose nodded again. “You tell the other women they can come, too. We’ll be starting up in March – after the snow melts.” She glanced out the window, suddenly anxious to get home.

  Norma’s eyes followed hers. “Oh, my goodness! The snow is really coming down. I must be going.”

  “Can I give you a ride?” Rose asked. “I can drop you off closer to your home.”

  Norma’s eyes looked wistful, but she shook her head immediately. “My Seth wouldn’t like that.”

  Rose knew Seth wouldn’t want his white wife riding in a black woman’s carriage, flanked by two black horsemen. “Be safe,” was all she said. “I’ll look forward to seeing Josiah in the morning. If the snow is too deep you can keep him home.”

  “I’ll have him here,” Norma vowed. “After what we went through in the war, ain’t just a little snow gonna keep him from school!”

  Rose waved good-bye on the steps of the school, and then turned to her carriage; grateful Jeb and Andy had waited for her. She climbed into the carriage smoothly, eager to get home to Moses and her children. As she lifted the reins to urge the horses forward, she froze.

  Barely visible through the thickening snow, she could see the shadowy forms of men on horseback advancing down the road. She felt, more than saw, both Jeb and Andy stiffen to full attention as they reached for their guns. “Wait,” she said urgently, keeping her voice low.

  She took a deep breath, trying to control her pounding heart as the men drew closer. Horsemen on a public road did not necessarily mean vigilantes. She would wait for them to pass, and then go home. It was wise to be cautious, but she didn’t want to live in constant fear. She watched as the shadowy forms revealed themselves to be seven men dressed in bulky clothing, their faces covered by thick scarves. She tried to tell herself she still had no reason to be afraid. While it was true the vigilantes used many disguises to hide their identities, it was also true that any sane person would cover their face in blowing snow.

  She remained silent as the group passed without a word, but she was fully conscious of the glaring eyes fixed on her. They were not threatening her, but they were surely communicating a message. The clarity of it made her blood run cold.

  It was not until the entire group had passed that one man pulled his horse to a stop and turned back to her. “I would be very careful, Mrs. Samuels,” he said quietly, his voice oddly apologetic. “They will not let you teach white children.” Then he urged his horse forward and blended into the group.

  Chapter Six

  Thomas stepped into the warmth of his house, sniffing appreciatively as he hung his heavy cloak on the coat tree. “I’m home,” he called.

  “And just in time.” Abby met him with a kiss. “I imagine you are as glad as I was to get out of the cold. It’s not snowing, which I know I should be thankful for, but this winter seems as trying as Philadelphia winters are. That cold wind went right through me on the way home. Spencer piled blankets on me, but I still wasn’t warm until I had been inside for a while.”

  Thomas smiled broadly as he reached forward to touch her cheek. “You’ve been in May’s kitchen?”

  “How did you guess?” Abby asked in surprise.

  “You have flour on your cheek, my dear,” he said fondly. “Still attempting to learn how to make biscuits like hers?”

  Abby sighed. “I fear I might be a hopeless case. My mother used to tell me the same thing when I was growing up. I am fairly adept at cooking many things, but southern biscuits seem to be beyond my capability.”

  “Nonsense!” May said as she bustled into the dining room with a plate full of baked chicken and potatoes. “They get better every time.”

  Abby laughed. “Spoken like a woman who doesn’t want to lose her paycheck.”

  “Well, there is that,” May agreed with an easy smile.

  “I notice you’re not serving the biscuits I made,” Abby continued, eyeing the plate May held in her other hand. “I could take that as an insult,” she said with mock sternness.

  “You could also take it as proof that your husband has a very intelligent housekeeper,” Thomas added with a laugh. He reached forward and plucked a warm biscuit off the platter. “I know this is very improper,” he said before he took a bite. “My only defense is that I’m starving.”

  Abby laughed, and reached for another of the biscuits. “Thank you for not serving those little rocks I pulled out of the oven.”

  “They weren’t nearly that bad, Miss Abby,” May protested, but then gave an impish smile. “Still, they for sure weren’t meant to be ate.”

  Their banter was interrupted by a knock on the door. Thomas exchanged a look with Abby. “Are you expecting someone?”

  “On a night like tonight? Hardly.”

  Thomas turned toward the door, but Micah beat him to it. He used the reprieve to take another bite of his biscuit, gazing longingly at the steaming plate of chicken on the table. He hoped whoever was at the door would not disrupt dinner for long. He had been so busy at the factory that lunch had slipped right past him.

  “Why, Mr. Hobbs! Come in out of the cold.” Micah’s voice floated back through the house.

  Thomas and Abby exchanged a stunned look before they hurried forward.

  “Hobbs? Is that really you?” Thomas asked with amazement.

  Warre
n Hobbs, his face almost as rusty colored as the hair that topped it, handed Micah his threadbare coat and scarf, and then turned. “It’s really me,” he agreed. “I know I have picked a terrible night to visit. I hope it’s not too bad a time,” he said hesitantly.

  “Not at all,” Thomas insisted as he stepped forward to shake his hand. “It’s wonderful to see you again.” He decided to not make mention that the young man seemed to have not gained an ounce since the end of the war. He had been pitifully thin, as had most soldiers and Richmond residents after the war, but almost two years had done nothing to change that.

  “We’re so glad to see you,” Abby said sincerely. She didn’t know Hobbs very well since he had left for West Virginia shortly after the end of the war, but she had heard all the stories of his relationship with Robert and Carrie. “Won’t you please join us for dinner? We were just about to sit down.”

  Hobbs shook his head. “I couldn’t. I’m real sorry to interrupt your meal.”

  Abby laughed. “You know that chicken smells as good to you as it does to me. Now you sit right down there and eat it. We won’t allow you to do anything else.”

  “Well, since you put it that way, I guess it does smell right good,” Hobbs admitted.

  Thomas suspected it had been a while since Hobbs had enjoyed a good meal. He opened his mouth to ask May to set an extra place at the table, but she was already rushing forward with another plate and cutlery.

  “Welcome back to Richmond, Mr. Hobbs,” May said. “It’s about time you got back down here to pay folks a visit.”

  “Hello, May,” Hobbs said gratefully, though his eyes took on a shuttered look. He took a deep breath as he leaned back in his chair. “It’s real good to be back.”

  “Are you here to stay?” Abby asked.

  Hobbs shrugged. “I reckon that depends on whether I can get me a job.”

  Thomas frowned. “What happened to your farm in West Virginia? I thought you planned on being a farmer on your family’s place after the war ended.”