Getting The Edge

by Alexandra Warren

  “Dawson, I need you to take care of things with Erin and Zalayah. Reassure them that everything will go as planned regardless of the latest J&J developments. I’ll take care of the rest.”

  “Alright man. Keep me updated.”

  Once Dawson left my office, I could only sit there, tapping a pen on my executive desk, brainstorming ideas on how to find out if my girlfriend was sabotaging the work I was doing. My gut feeling told me this was definitely an outlet to pursue, no matter how crazy it sounded.

  Maybe I could just ask her straight out.

  Or maybe I could go to J&J; ask them.

  Nah, this was gonna take some technical work. Especially if I wanted to keep my girl.

  ariel.

  Another Wednesday.

  Another date night.

  Another dinner I had to keep a straight face through so that I wouldn’t out myself.

  It didn’t seem to get any easier. In fact, it got harder and harder because I had fallen in love with Jamison though I was afraid to admit it. He was easily the best boyfriend I ever had yet he caught the worst of anything I had ever done to someone.

  “So Ariel, how’s work been going? It doesn’t seem like you talk about it much lately.”

  Yeah, cause its shitty.

  “Its...its work. Nothing new to discuss I guess.” I really wanted to just eat my Chinese takeout in peace. Maybe the heavy salt would send my body into shock so I wouldn’t have to have this conversation.

  “Nothing new? No new...assignments?”

  Just the one to take Intergalactic Records down.

  “Just the same ones I’ve been working on.” I doused my chicken fried rice in more soy sauce thinking maybe just maybe...

  “Sounds boring.”

  Not in the slightest.

  “Which is why I haven’t been talking about work.”

  “Well...wanna know what I’ve been working on? I mean, I think my side of things is at least an ounce more interesting than yours.”

  “I’m pretty sure you’re gonna tell me anyway.”

  “True that. Zalayah’s about to get a part,” He took a break in his speech to eat a bite of his lo mein before he continued on, “In a new Tyler Perry movie. Not a Madea one either. Something bigger than that.”

  “Wow, that’s actually pretty interesting considering they’re probably gonna steal that idea too.”

  Shit.

  Jamison stopped chewing mid-bite to look at me. I was ready to crack, ready to spill it all, ready to just say fuck this shit. But he spoke again before I could go that route.

  “Probably. Since ya’ll aren’t talented enough to do things the right way. You know, by the book. Earn your keep. So you - ya’ll - have to do sneaky shit to stay afloat. It’s pretty pathetic if you ask me.”

  My appetite was long gone.

  This was gonna be the last time.

  If J&J wanted anymore, they were just gonna have to find somebody else to do their dirty work.

  jamison.

  “So have you figured out who the spy is?”

  I knew exactly who it was. And I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt. Before this shit surfaced, I was about 90% sure I was in love even though I needed to be 110% before I would say it out loud. But now...now I was disgusted. One little false tip dropped casually over dinner had manifested into a girl from J&J’s group getting the leading role in a Tyler Perry film, according to the bloggers. I had made the shit up just to see if the informant really was Ariel, and to my disappointment, it was.

  “Yep. Somebody over at J&J has been...getting some insider information. I dropped the wrong tip and they took it and ran with it.” Dawson’s face lit up from the news and I wished I could share in his excitement.

  “You’re...you’re serious aren’t you?”

  “I am.”

  “Damn Jamie! You are the man! Like I knew you were the real deal, but this...this is gold. Not only are you saving our asses, you’re also saving Zalayah’s career.” Little did Dawson know I had almost single-handedly sabotaged Zalayah’s career.

  “Yeah you’re right about that.”

  “We should celebrate. How about you grab that pretty little girlfriend of yours and I’ll grab one of my chicks so we can go get a drink or five.”

  “Umm...I think we’ll probably want to celebrate alone.” I wasn’t sure how the conversation would go but I knew it had to happen.

  “Ahhh I see where you’re going with this you little devil you. She’s gotta have the best if you turned down Erin for it.”

  “Yeah…yeah for sure. The best.” Dawson seemed to pick up on my lack of enthusiasm no matter how much I was trying to hide it.

  “You alright man? You seem a little down like your cat died or some shit.”

  “No cats Dawson; just got a lot on my mind. That’s all.”

  “Well cheer up man. This is good news. Time to be happy.” It sounded so good, so simple, but happiness was surely evading me knowing that I had to let her go.

  - & -

  “I’m pretty sure this is the first Friday night we’ve both had off since we moved to NYC.” Ariel was all cool and casual as if she hadn’t tried to fuck me over.

  “Yeah I know.”

  “I would say let’s go out, but I’m pretty sure I would much rather stay in. We can be more… productive that way.” She said it with a sexy grin that instantly turned me on no matter how pissed off I was at her. A little parting fuck wouldn’t hurt right?

  “If you want the dick, just ask for it Ariel. You’re a big girl. You make big girl decisions any other time. What’s stopping you now?”

  She laughed as she straddled my lap before she whispered in my ear, “Well then Hot Shot, can I have the dick? Please?”

  God, I’m gonna miss this.

  I didn’t have to actually answer her for her to go to work, kissing me so deeply, so tenderly that I actually believed it. But there was no way she could feel so strongly for me and do what she had already done. When she finally pulled back, her eyes were brewing with a passion I knew I couldn’t let go to waste. So instead of walking away like I probably should’ve done, my hand found the back of her head, gripping a handful of her hair to pull her back in for another electrifying kiss. When I was done with her lips, I moved mine to her neck, leaving my mark for anyone that planned to come after me. A little selfish but she definitely had me beat in that category.

  “Damn babeee. You’re making me so wet.”

  “You like that Ariel?”

  “Hell yes. Love it. Love you.” I froze. She had never…ever said those words before and for them to come…now…now that I knew she was playing me fucked me up. But I already knew what I had to do.

  One last time.

  Then I was gone.

  ariel.

  I woke up to an empty bed. After a long night of lovemaking, I was just sure Jamison would wanna sleep in but he was actually gone. It was so unlike him to just leave without a word so I assumed it had to have been an emergency. I rolled over to grab my phone checking to see if maybe he had sent me a text of his whereabouts but my hand only landed on a piece of paper. Knowing him, it was surely some sweetly crafted note about why he had to go, how he loved me too and would see me later. I was already swooning as I opened it.

  Ariel,

  I knew this industry was shady but I never expected it from you. I hope it was worth it. Thanks for the parting gift.

  Jamison

  I read it again, praying that I was imagining the content but I wasn’t. It was all there, in the finest of print.

  He knew.

  I wasn’t sure how he knew, but he knew.

  He had to have known when he came over but he actually had the nerve to fuck me first and then break up with me all after I had accidentally confessed my love for him. I felt sick to my stomach. And I wasn’t even mad at him for handling things the way he did because what I had done was definitely a lot worse. An apology didn’t even seem as though it would do the situation any j
ustice. I would just have to let him cool off before I could even think about approaching him again.

  Or maybe I would just have to let him go.

  - & -

  “That Tyler Perry tip was the icing on the cake,” Mr. Johnson said, as I rocked from leg to leg in front of his desk. He seemed to be the more sensible one so I was glad to be sharing the information with him alone. Maybe this would be enough for him. It had surely been enough to cost me my relationship with Jamison.

  “Can I go now?”

  “No, how about you sit. Let’s...chat.” I rolled my eyes but found the seat opposite of his at the desk. He stood from his chair and began unbuttoning his suit jacket. Something about the way he was moving made me uneasy, so I took a deep breath as his massive frame seemed to permeate the room. “Ariel, you are...excellent at what you do. I mean, it’s really fascinating the way you’ve taken charge so quickly. And the way you handled this last assignment. You’ve made a lot of people a lot of money, beautiful.”

  By this point he was standing behind me and the fact that I couldn’t see him made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

  “Well, since I did my share can this whole thing be over now? I’d like to be able to give my all to my real work. You know, the stuff I was hired to do.” I heard his office door lock and it made me jump.

  Why is he locking the door?

  “No one does what they are hired to do in this industry. They simply go above and beyond to save their own ass. And my, do you have a beautiful ass to save.” My heart began to pound as I felt him step closer to me.

  “Mr. Johnson, I have a dinner meeting in ten minutes across town that I’m not completely prepared for. I really need to go.”

  “Ten minutes is plenty of time.” I could hear him unbuckling the belt of his pants. I rose from the chair in hot pursuit of the door but before I could get to the lock, he grabbed me by my wrist and threw me against the wall lined with platinum records. “Where are you going Ariel? AJ said you would never put up a fight; that you seemed like the...obedient type. But I knew he was wrong. You have way too much attitude for that.” He had both of my wrists pinned over my head with one hand as he tried to put his lips to mine. I shook my head back and forth, dodging each attempt.

  “Let me go!” He used his free hand to rip my button-up blouse right down the middle, leaving me partially exposed.

  “I like ‘em feisty Ariel. Keep this up and I may cum before you even let me touch it.”

  “You won’t be touching a damn thing! Now get your mothafuckin’ hands off of me!” I used all my might to give him a swift knee to the gut, making him double over while simultaneously releasing my wrists. While he was down, I gave him a knee to the nose for good measure then I dashed to the door, my fingers trembling as I worked to unlock it.

  “You stupid bitch!” He held his leaking nose as he lunged at me, taking me down by the legs with his free arm. His large frame swamped my petite one as he dragged me back to the middle of his office floor. “Now since you wanna play hardball, this is gonna be a little less romantic.” I tried to kick myself out of his hold but it was a lot tighter than the one from before. He pushed my skirt over my hips and gave my panties a rough tug. The fabric dug deep into my skin before the stitching let go.

  “You sick bastard! Can’t get pussy on your own?! You must have a little dick!”

  “Oh, I’m gonna show you a little dick alright.” I continued trying to get out of his grip, kicking and screaming with everything I had but it didn’t seem as though it made any difference. That was until he tried to get cocky and let go of his hold on my legs to get his pants down. That little moment of arrogance gave me just enough time to land a swift donkey kick to his temple. Thanks to my choice of heels for the day, the kick was enough to make more blood spill from his face. Instinctively he used his hands to soften the blow and control the leaking. And I used the spare seconds to haul ass out of there.

  jamison.

  I assumed this whole thing would be a lot easier than it actually was. Ariel was the one that had betrayed me yet it seemed like I was the one with the hurt feelings. She hadn’t even tried to explain herself, apologize, anything. She read the note and she left me alone. I had never been one to invest a lot of emotions into my relationships because well...bitches ain’t shit. And now the second I did, because it felt so natural, so right, it had actually worked against me. I was the victim and still felt attached to her as if I should’ve stayed and let her explain herself, let her make the mistake and forgive her so that we could move forward; together.

  I couldn’t sulk too much longer though as there was work to be done now that J&J was actually out of the way. Zalayah was going on a school tour to promote the No Bullying project we had put together as the socially-conscious aspect of her marketing campaign. She would perform a few songs at each school and then get all of their students to sign a No Bullying pledge to be posted in the school. It was a win-win for us since it not only gave Zalayah a chance to get her music out on a large scale but it also allowed consumers...I mean kids, to see her in a positive, caring, role model-like light; a lot different than the diva she had originally made herself out to be.

  I was busy getting all of the promotional items organized for the tour when Erin strolled into the conference room I was occupying. Even though the NYC winter was approaching, she wore a short dress with thigh high lace up boots. If her outfit was any indicator of her mood, she was definitely on a mission.

  “Erin. What can I do for you?” She picked up one of the buttons that had an image of Zalayah holding a No Bullying sign.

  “These are cute. You guys are rockin’ it.”

  “Thanks. But what’s really up?”

  “Dawson told me you could use a pick me up. Said you’ve been walkin’ around here lookin’ like a kid who lost their cat. Am I sensing some...trouble in paradise?” It was surely none of her business, but of course that wasn’t stopping her.

  “Since you’re so curious, paradise is no longer. But if you don’t mind, I have some work I’m trying to get done.”

  “Oh this?” She picked up one of the giveaway t-shirts with Zalayah’s face on the front before she continued on, “This can definitely wait. I have something more...enjoyable in mind. Did you ask Dawson about me?”

  “I did.”

  “So you already know what’s up. Let’s go back to your office so I can...make you feel better.” I surprised myself with the fact that I was actually contemplating taking her up on her offer. I wasn’t gonna fuck her. That would’ve been way too unethical. But maybe just a little...something to get my mind off Ariel would help.

  “I’ll umm… I’ll meet you there.”

  ariel.

  I was all out of tears.

  I never thought something like this could happen to me, but it did.

  I should’ve been more careful, more aware of my surroundings, something. But now, none of that mattered because the damage was done.

  And what was I suppose to do? Just go back to work and act like none of this shit ever happened? Is that what girls in my situation did? Just take it because they knew nothing would be done since their attacker had money and power?

  I couldn’t go out like that.

  I wouldn’t go out like that.

  But I knew I couldn’t do it alone. Going to the hospital and getting a sexual assault kit completed I could do alone, but for everything else, I needed support. My first call would be to Valerie. Maybe there were cameras in his office that she could pull footage from. Or maybe there was footage of him going to the bathroom to clean himself up after the...attempt.

  My body trembled in remembrance. I had showered at least twenty times since the incident but I still felt dirty. I still remembered the smell of his cologne blended with sweat as he fought to keep me in place. I still remembered screaming for him to stop even though I knew the only people in the building at that time of night were probably janitors with their headphones in. And I still remember
ed running out of the building mostly shirtless, definitely panty-less. Considering how sick he was, he probably kept them for his personal collection.

  I had been lucky enough to get away before he could actually rape me but I could only imagine how many women weren’t so lucky. What made it even crazier was that I had always prepared myself for an encounter like that with AJ but never...ever with Mr. Johnson. He seemed so conservative, so about his business, so...normal. But if I had learned anything from being on a college campus, it was the simple fact that things like this could happen to anyone and be done by anyone.

  I picked up the phone and dialed the J&J office.

  “Jones and Johnson Records, this is Valerie.”

  “Hey Val. It’s me, Ariel.” She wasted no time going into her usual ramble.

  “Ariel, aren’t you supposed to be here by now? What’s going on? Are you calling in sick? I can reschedule all of your meetings for today and tomorrow if you’re not feeling well. That way you can recuperate properly.”

  “Umm…I’m not exactly sick Val. I was calling because I need a favor. From you.”

  “A favor? From me? O…kay. What do you need?” She was already suspicious of my intent but I had to go on considering she was the only one I trusted enough to get the information I needed.

  “Do you know if there are cameras in Mr. Johnson’s office? Maybe in the hallway, leading up to his office?”

  “I would think so. I’m not 100% sure though.

  “I...I need you to find out. Please.” I tried to keep my voice as even as possible to avoid the excess of questions she would surely ask if she knew too much.

  “O...kay. Hold on a sec.” There was that suspicion again. I listened to the holding jingle over and over. I even put the phone on speaker mode so that I could mosey around the house waiting for her to come back to the line. I was just getting ready to go to the bathroom when I heard, “Ariel?” I rushed back to where the phone was placed in the middle of the kitchen counter.