When Our Worlds Collide

by Iler, Lindsey

  “You ready to go to school?” I help her off of the hood of my car opening the passenger side door for her. She quickly gets in getting comfortable. I run to grab her backpack and crutches from the sidewalk. Mrs. Conrad’s standing on the front step smiling at me. She knew I had been here the whole time. I called this morning to explain that I would be picking Kennedy up instead of Violet. She made the arrangement for me. I smiled back and she nodded approvingly.

  Kennedy’s scanning through my iPod looking for something to listen to when I get into the car. I love the way her lips move as she reads through the songs. She’d stop every few songs as if her life depending on choosing the right one. When she decides on a song I smile over at her once the music comes through the speakers.

  “What’s with the obnoxious smile, Black?” Kennedy asks staring over at me waiting for my answer. I love it when she calls me by my last name. It sounds natural coming from her. Not forced like the rest of the girls who do it flirtatiously trying to catch my attention. Kennedy already has my attention without much effort.

  “This song reminds me of you,” I confess nervously. Maybe I gave too much this time.

  “I’ve never heard it.” she grabs my hand holding it in her lap. This is when I used to recoil from Amanda. Not today. There would be no holding back anymore.

  “Fix You by Coldplay. I’m sure you’ve heard it before.”

  “Why does it remind you of me though?”

  “Listen.” I squeeze her hand in reassurance.

  I know my life isn’t perfect although everyone else seems to believe that it is just that---perfect. My father makes it his mission to beat the shit out of me whenever he gets the opportunity since I was a defenseless kid. Instead of fighting back like I desperately want to, I take every blow and every slap because that’s what my mother wants, what she needs. She doesn’t have the courage to stand up to him or to walk away. I take the brunt of the punishment for her. No one knows this reality except Kennedy. She never asks any questions or gives me a pitying look. She fixes me when I’m broken before I even realize I need it.

  The song comes to an end. The car is bone chilling silent. Kennedy looks out the window staying silent still holding on tightly to my hand. I don’t know what she’s thinking. I wait until she’s ready to talk.

  “That’s how you really feel about me?” Kennedy turns to face me once we pull into the parking lot of the high school. The place is littered with our classmates busy talking about what happened over the weekend or some other mundane subject. I don’t pay any attention to anyone as I pull into my parking spot until I turned to face her. She turns her body towards mine. I can’t resist reaching up and brushing the fleck of hair that’s always weaseling its way onto her face.

  “God, you’re beautiful Kennedy. It never gets old looking at you,” I smile at her as she leans into me resting her cheek perfectly in my hand. “And that song is exactly how I feel about you.”

  She thinks about what I said for a minute. Her gaze scans the parking lot several times, but her glance always lands back on me. We catch the attention of a handful of people who are leaning against different cars nearby. Kennedy and I haven’t had the chance to discuss what was going to happen once we left the shelter of her bedroom. We just sort of just ended up here anyways.

  “I guess we should get this over with then, huh?” she says letting out an over dramatic sigh.

  “Get what over with?” I ask turning the car off and pulling the keys out of the ignition.

  “Don’t think that I’m not going to walk into this school without you by my side. I don’t care what anyone has to say and quite frankly what else could possibly get in our way that already hasn’t tried?” She reaches in the backseat for her backpack with confidence. I scoop it out of her reach before she can lay a hand on it.

  “I can carry it for you,” I offer returning her smile with eagerness. She’s right. It’s no one’s damn business what’s happening. The only thing that matters is the two of us.

  Took you long enough to realize that, dumbass.

  Kennedy swings her door open. I run around to her side to help her out. I can feel the eyes turn on us as if they are watching a train wreck occur. No one could turn away. The ones that have enough tact to ignore us only last a split second. Their eyes are back on us quickly.

  I focus only on Kennedy placing a hand on the small of her back allowing it to go a bit farther down than is necessary. This catches the attention of a group of girls standing two rows back from where we are. I hear their dramatic intake of breaths. They all whisper and glare in Kennedy’s direction. As if on cue the group parts and Amanda, the ring leader and my latest mistake, steps forward squinting her eyes as if she’s trying to focus in on the picture she can’t believe she’s seeing.

  Everyone will have an opinion about Kennedy and me. Before I would have cared, now as I’m guiding her through the parking lot I can only focus on the way she smells. Coconut and vanilla. Every time the wind blows it assaults my senses and I forget everything else around me. What the hell has gotten into me? I’m such a chick.

  Everyone’s eyes stay on us as we make our way into the school. The sea of students practically parts to make room for us. I hear a handful of whispers. It’s safe to say the rumor mill is running rampant already after five minutes of our arrival.

  We walk in silence together. Kennedy is absolutely frigid next to me. I refuse to drop my hand from her back giving me notice that her spine is stiffened beneath my touch. We make it into the hallway where our lockers are when she speaks up.

  “Everyone’s watching us, aren’t they?” she asks shyly handing me her crutches giving her access to turn the nob on her lock.

  “They’re all probably watching you. You look gorgeous,” I bend down to whisper in her ear. She stops in her tracks to look at me dropping her books back into the bottom of her locker.

  “That must be it,” she laughs at my accusation like it’s the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard. “Or it could have something to do with their star baseball player slumming it in public?”

  “I’m hardly slumming for one and I don’t think you quite grasp where you lie in the food chain of this high school.” Kennedy’s constantly saying things like this. If she only knew the way most of the guys in school spoke about her she’d realize that she’s the one who’s slumming.

  “I’d love to see that chart. Maybe you can come over once you’re done with practice and lay it out for me?” She winks at me trying to seem relaxed when I know she’s nervous as hell.

  “Are you flirting with me, Ms. Conrad?” I sandwich her in between me and her locker placing a hand on each side of her head. She leans forward leaving a few inches between our lips. I can practically feel her against my chest as we forget where we are at and that we have an audience.

  Our world is jolted back to reality by an unwanted distraction.

  “That didn’t take long, Kennedy. I see you cozied right up to Graham after you were done with me,” Craig shouts loud enough for the others around us to hear. His assault is received with a few snickers from a few people.

  His smirk’s filled with menace and he rubs his fingers down Kennedy’s arm. The minute they make contact I feel my teeth clenching. Craig’s asking for a fight and I’m more than ready to start and finish it before he even sees me coming.

  “Excuse me?” Kennedy’s voice is immediately in defense of herself. I suppose of me as well. I’m proud of her for speaking up, but I know nothing good will come from this. It’s the look in Craig’s eyes that angers me most. He acts as if Friday night never happened, as if it was just a nightmare for Kennedy and me. The bruises on his face should be a good reminder that it was in fact real.

  “You heard me, slut.” Craig’s voice snarls with his insult.

  That was all I needed to hear before I made the decision. I turn around punching him landing my fist perfectly across his face. He stumbles back a few steps falling against the bank of lockers across
from us. We have the attention of everyone who’s in earshot. A group of girls have to back away from getting in the way of Craig’s fall causing a sort of panicked mania in the small area. Girls are screeching and a few guys are helping Craig up from the floor. I scan the hallway hoping no teachers are around. No one will say anything. My secret is safe with them all.

  “If you ever lay a finger on her again,” I point back at a wide eyed Kennedy. “Or utter her name I swear to you I will break your fucking legs to the point where going to play baseball at whatever little league college you plan on attending will no longer want you on their team. Understood?”

  I grab Kennedy’s hand leading her down the hallway away from him.

  “God, Kennedy,” I shake my head trying to calm my frantic nerves. “I should go back and kill him.”

  “His harsh words were worth watching you lay him out,” Kennedy reaches down to grab my hand inspecting it to make sure I didn’t cause any damage. This girl’s fixing me even when she should be a wreck herself.

  “Don’t worry about me. Are you okay?” I cup her face in my hands inspecting her eyes for the tears that I expect to see.

  “I’m okay. Now give me a kiss and go to class,” she demands. We are still holding an audience in the hallway. I glance at the spying eyes and turn to look at her. “Are you going to kiss me or not?” Kennedy’s grin grows larger. She knows what she’s doing. Kennedy has a way of surprising me every chance she gets.

  “I’m going to kiss you. Remember…until you tell me to stop.” My arms wrap around her lifting her off the floor before placing my lips against hers as if kissing her is second nature. It feels like we’ve been doing it for years by the way our bodies mesh together as if they just might’ve been made for this exact reason, if only to be with each other.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  -Kennedy-

  I feel all of their eyes burning holes into the back of my head. Choosing to ignore them is easy when Graham skims my bottom lip with his tongue with featherlike accuracy. When his lips meet mine nothing else matters. My mind is cloudy and slightly at a loss for any fluid thought. I know once our mouths come up for air that we’ll be met with questions and criticism. I’m oddly at ease with my new found place in this school.

  I’m always going to be the girl who worries about what others think of me. That’s why I excel in school. I have a fear of disappointing my parents and teachers. Working my butt off is worth the reward even if it halted any sort of social life I could have. Letting others down makes me break out in hives. Being held to the ridiculous standards of what others think is best for Graham is going to be difficult. They worship him.

  Until Graham came along, I cared about everyone’s perception of me. I stuck to what I knew. He’s opened my eyes to a whole different world, a world that I want to scavenge and explore until I see every last square inch that there is to see. He’s somehow ignited my life with a flame. Everything I thought I knew, or believed purely seems obsolete.

  I slowly release my lips from his leaving my arms wrapped around his waist with our lips nearly centimeters apart. “You know they’re all watching right?” I say with slight embarrassment.

  “It doesn’t matter, Kennedy,” Graham talks into my hair before giving me one last kiss on the forehead. We both turn to go in our own direction when I feel a smack across my butt. I yelp in surprise turning to see Graham grinning from ear to ear backing down the hallway with his hands up in surrender. “I’ll see you at lunch, Ken.”

  The first two blocks of school is spent answering questions. It was more like dodging them. Some of the questions are understandable, some of the questions are simple, but most of them sounded more like statements instead of actual questions. I hear everything from “What’s going on with you and Graham?” to “Why’d Graham punch Craig?”---My favorite being “Graham doesn’t have girlfriends”. A constant reminder of that fun fact is annoying. At one point my teachers have to tell everyone to leave me alone. I understand why everyone has this curiosity. Graham is their alpha male, their king. I’m nobody to them.

  No one is deserving of the answers to those questions and I don’t give them the satisfaction of answering. Besides it’s no one’s business what’s going on between Graham and I. Except maybe one person and by the look on her face she isn’t happy with me.

  Violet face is contorting between rage and confusion as she makes her way down the hallway practically knocking over an entire group of freshman boys who don’t get out of her death path quick enough. I just walked out of my second block when she’s making her way towards me. I clinch my books tight to my chest as if they can protect me from her wrath. I try to smile at her but it feels uncomfortable. I know I’m in trouble.

  “You and me need to have a serious chat,” Violet points over another group of freshman who’s separating us. Her face is beat red with anger. I know I owe her a rather good explanation. A lot happened over the span of two days. Clearly the rumor mill isn’t going to disappoint.

  “Before you yell at me…” I give her a knowing look. I know what’s going to come out of her mouth next.

  “Oh you bet your ass I’m going to yell at you. What the fuck is going on with you two? Because I’ve heard several different versions of what I’d like to assume are lies, but please confirm a few things for me.”

  “What all have you heard anyways?” I ask coyly.

  “Are you and Graham together?” Violet has always been known for getting to the point.

  “Yes, next question.” I smirk at her. Her mouth drops open in surprise.

  “Did Graham punch Craig this morning because he called you a slut, whore, or trash? I’ve heard all three versions, sweetie.”

  “That happened...yes. I’m pretty sure he called me a slut though.” Violet’s eyes are full of sympathy.

  “You’re not a slut. What a fucking asshole,” Violet shouts making the group of boys she nearly took out minutes before stare in her direction. “Why did Craig choose today to be such a colossal dickhead? He pissed that you moved on from him before it even got started?”

  I took a deep breath trying to control my emotions. Violet’s my best friend and she has no idea what happened Friday night when she was busy hooking up with Dan in the boat house. I wasn’t her responsibility, but I know her well enough to know she will feel at fault somehow. I know I won’t be able to lie to her about what happened.

  “Violet, you have to promise not to say anything. I mean, literally no one can know,” my eyes glare into hers to make sure she understands what I’m asking from her. She nods in response clearly afraid of what I have to tell her. “Friday night something happened. Graham hooked up with Amanda before the baseball game. I was mad. I decided to play a little game with him to try to get under his skin. It was stupid.”

  “Okay, so what exactly happened? What does this have to do with Craig?” Violet urges me to continue obviously confused. Her eyebrows are furrowed together waiting for me to say something. She guides me over to a bank of empty lockers. We lean against them just looking at each other.

  “After arguing with Graham at the party I thought he had left, but he hadn’t. He stuck around to make sure that I was okay. I was drunk. Craig had been super pushy and at some point we went up to his bedroom. At first it was all fine. We were kissing, but then something switched. There was this look in his eyes, Vi. He was persistent when he refused to listen to me saying no,” I explained refusing to look at her now. I feel embarrassed and recalling what happened only makes me want to run away from all of this.

  “Son of a bitch,” Violet screams when she realizes what I’m saying. “I’m going to fucking kill him. I should have been there. I should have seen you go up there. I should have been there to stop him.” I grab Violet’s hand to stop her. As she turns around to face me I can see the gloss over her eyes.

  “This isn’t your fault and Graham got to me before it was too late,” I whisper. A set of hands curve around my waist making me jump.


  “What did I do?” Graham’s voice sings in my ear.

  Violet watches him as he stands behind me with his chin resting on the top of my head. I can tell she’s retelling herself the story in her head by the way her eyes go hard. She’s ready to kill someone and Craig’s on her radar. That’s why she’s my best friend. She has a big heart, and a big mouth to back her up to whoever displeases her.

  “Thank you,” she whispers rubbing the corner of her eyes as she looks to Graham.

  “What’s she thanking me for?” Graham’s eyes bounce between Violet and I skeptically.

  “For beating the shit out of that fucking ass hat,” Violet smiles at the two of us standing together.

  “You told her what happened?” Graham whispers into my neck.

  “Of course she told me. I’m her best friend and she’s lucky that I love her enough to respect her wishes of not saying anything. There’s nothing I’d rather do more than stomp his face into the floor of the cafeteria right now.”

  “I’d love to see that,” Graham grins down at me. He plants a kiss on my cheek just as Violet makes a gagging noise in mock of us.

  “Okay lovebirds, come on. Amanda’s going to have a field day with this and I want front row seats to her losing her shit.” Violet saunters in front of us until we hit to the lunchroom. She halts in her tracks at the entrance. Graham and I are too busy teasing each other that we nearly collide into her as she stands peering blankly into the crowd that’s keeping their eyes on Graham and me.

  Graham ducks around both of our bodies walking into the large room as if everyone doesn’t have their eyes trained on me and him. They aren’t being sneaky. They are the on purpose type of stares. The kind that makes you feel like everything is going in slow motion. Violet luckily is just a casualty of our presence. She continues to stand by my side anyways. The girl has never cared that I didn’t fit the mold of her “clique”. She constantly makes fun of me for how unsocial I am, how I spend way too much time reading, and how oblivious I am to my own “sex appeal”, but she always has my back no matter what.