Love Him Back

by Kris Nacole

“Biting your lip like that. It drives me crazy.” He adjusted himself and shook his head.

  I gulped as the thought of him biting my bottom lip during our kiss flooded my mind. Squeezing my thighs together, I shifted and looked back up at him, grinning.

  I trailed my tongue over my top lip and then bit my bottom lip, again.

  He shook his head and laughed. “You’re trouble.” He paused for a moment and then continued, “I have to say, you’re starting to grow on me, Ward.” He cut his eyes at me and sat back in his seat then closed his eyes to rest. Even though it was dark, I could dimly see his handsome features with the passing headlights.

  “Why me?” I blurted and then instantly wished I could take it back.

  He opened his eyes and looked over at me sleepily. “Why you, what?” he asked curiously.

  I cringed. “Why do you like me? I’m not your type. I’m just an ordinary girl.” I glanced down at my hands folded in my lap.

  “Chesney,” he sighed. “Believe me when I say there’s nothing ordinary about you. From the day I first met you, I’ve felt this pull that I can’t explain. I haven’t had that with anyone else. I thought I had, but I’m learning what I’d felt before was nothing like what I’m feeling right now, with you.” His voice became soft when he said, “I wish you could see yourself through my eyes; then, you’d see how extraordinary you truly are.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t had a man tell me I was extraordinary before. I’d forgotten what it felt like to get a compliment. Fighting back my insecurities, I gave a nervous smile.

  “Thank you, Zane,” I replied, my voice full of fake bravado.

  He must have picked up on my hesitation. “It’s true, Chesney. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re one of a kind.” A smile slowly spread across his luscious lips. I found myself wanting to touch them, to kiss them again, and feel them against my skin. I was infatuated. No doubt about it.

  Maybe I needed to take a leap of faith and believe him. Give him a chance. Stop fighting and just give in. The guard I had up was already coming down every time I was with him. He awakened feelings in me I hadn’t felt in so long, and it was exhilarating.

  He started to drift off to sleep again, and I turned toward the window, feeling strangely content as I watched the city lights flicker by and disappear.

  After a few minutes, I had made a decision—I was going to jump. Whatever this was, it was worth jumping all in for. Maybe others wouldn’t agree, but I didn’t care anymore.

  Once we were out of the city, I reclined my seat, so I could get some rest. The bus was mostly quiet with only a few soft voices drifting through from time to time.

  I wasn’t sure how long I slept, but I was awakened when the bus hit a bump in the road. As I opened my eyes I noticed my head was on Zane’s shoulder, his cheek resting on the top of my head. I breathed in the smell of his cologne. The jarring of the bus must’ve disturbed him too because he moved his head and rested it back on the headrest.

  Shifting in my seat, I looked up at him and admired his strong jaw.

  Now or never. Just do it.

  I wasn’t sure what had gotten into me, but I couldn’t take it any longer. Looking around, I noticed most of the people around us were sleeping. A few guys, closer to the front, were engrossed in hushed conversation, so they weren’t paying attention. I reached up and traced my fingers lightly down his jaw and neck.

  Zane quietly murmured and started to stir. I’d never felt so relieved to be sitting in the back of a bus before in my life. Out of nowhere, some kind of wickedness came over me, and I swung my leg around his waist and climbed up on his lap, facing him. My heart raced as I quickly leaned down and captured his lips in mine.

  Either this is the best damn dream I’ve ever had or this woman sure is ballsy.

  It had been a while since I’d had a woman wake me up by climbing on top of me, especially since I never let any of the women I’d slept with actually sleep in my bed. We had sex, and they slept on the couch. The end.

  Chesney’s long hair softly brushed against my cheeks, and then her voluptuous lips were on mine. She kissed me softly, grinding her center against mine.

  I sure as hell am awake now. Damn.

  “Well, hello, Firefly,” I whispered with a raspy, nearly breathless moan, grabbing her hips with my hands. I was going to take her right here on the back of this bus. I didn’t think she really knew who she was playing with. She was playing with dynamite and was about to have her entire world shaking from the blast. She had no idea what she was getting herself into.

  Bringing both of my hands up to cup her face, I deepened the kiss. She moaned and rubbed her chest against mine.

  Usually I would be selfish and just take what I wanted, not caring if the girl was fully satisfied. However, with Chesney the attraction was there, sure, but I wanted to pleasure her. To see her satisfied and make her feel powerful and worshipped. I just wasn’t sure I could give her exactly what she deserved, emotionally.

  Kissing Zane was electrifying. Feeling his firm body against mine made me wild with need and desire. His hands gripped my thighs as he broke the kiss and looked up at me with pleading eyes. He was asking for permission for something more. And I was ‘this close’ to giving it to him. But could I? Really? Here? My bravado was starting to fade at the reality of what could happen.

  After a few agonizing moments of staring at each other, we were interrupted by security forces coming onto the bus. We’d been so lost in each other we hadn’t realized we were back at the base.

  “Wake up, everybody, you know the drill. Get your ID’s out and ready, so I can come by and check them,” the Staff Sergeant announced.

  I quickly slipped off Zane’s lap and back into my own seat. I hoped nobody actually saw me on top of him. Oh gosh…

  Zane cleared his throat. “You’ve been holding out on me, Chesney,” he said in a very low whisper. “There’s a feisty side to you, after all.” He flashed a sly grin. “I like it.”

  “It’s your fault, Sergeant Thomas.” I batted my eyelashes at him.

  He adjusted himself and laughed then reached for his wallet.

  Handing my ID to Zane, he handed both of them over. The security officer shone his flashlight on both of our ID’s and then looked up at us as he handed them back. “Have a good night,” he said, tipping his head to us.

  “Oh, we were about five minutes ago,” Zane said low enough for only me to hear.

  “Zane!” I said, punching him in the side.

  “What? You started it. Don’t even tell me you weren’t having a good time,” he said, watching me tug on the corner of my bottom lip with my teeth. The look in his eyes was like a lion getting ready to pounce on its prey. He looked hungry…

  “Hey, you two, where are your hands?” Erik asked with a joking smirk.

  Zane lifted his in the air and laughed.

  “Ha, ha, very funny, Erik. Go back to sleep.” I threw my hoodie at him, hitting him in the face.

  “So violent,” he said, feigning shock then threw my hoodie back at me.

  Zane caught it before it hit me. “I’ll keep this…for insurance,” he winked.

  “Are you saying you want a reason to see me again, so soon?” I said with an overly dramatic Southern drawl.

  “Nah, I just really like the color blue.” He laughed and quickly dodged another hit from me.

  I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted. “That’s okay. I didn’t wanna see you again, anyway,” I said.

  “I know that’s not true,” he said in my ear, as he closed the gap between us and placed his hand on my thigh.

  “Oh, for the love of God! Will you two please get a room already? Damn! You could cut the sexual tension with a freaking butter knife,” Emberly yelled, rolling her eyes at us.

  “That can be arranged,” Zane said, making my heart flutter.

  The bus pulled up to the bus stop, and we all gathered our belongings and exited the bus. Since it was so late and we were all
so tired, Zane and some of his friends offered to give a few of us a ride back to our dorms.

  Zane pulled his truck right up to my door instead of parking in a parking spot.

  “Thanks for the ride, again,” I said, not wanting the night to end.

  “No problem,” he said with a happy-to-be-of-service nod.

  I chuckled and dug into my backpack. My keys—where are they? I started to panic because I couldn’t find them.

  Zane put his truck in park and said, “What’s wrong?”

  “I can’t find my keys. Uhhh. I’m gonna go try to find the dorm manager,” I said, getting out of the truck.

  “I’ll wait here until you get back,” Zane said reassuringly.

  I walked up three flights of stairs to where the dorm manager stayed, but the door was locked, and he was nowhere to be found.

  Great. Just my freakin’ luck.

  As I descended the stairs, I pulled my phone out and called Erik, but I got his voicemail.

  I opened the passenger door and climbed back inside Zane’s truck.

  “Well, he’s not in his room,” I said, frustrated. “Now what am I supposed to do?”

  “Come back to my place, and I’ll bring you back in the morning,” Zane suggested. He could fight it all he wanted, but I could tell by looking at him—his wall was coming down, just as mine had.

  Silence hung in the air for what felt like forever even though it was only for a few seconds.

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I said hesitantly.

  “Well, I’m not leaving you here to sleep outside. What about your suitemate? Is she home?” he asked.

  “No, she practically lives at her boyfriend’s house,” I said with a perturbed sigh.

  “Come on, Chesney. You can trust me,” he insisted. “I’ll bring you back first thing in the morning.” His eyes were so hopeful.

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “Okay, first thing tomorrow.”

  “Scout’s honor.” He brought his fingers up as if he were taking an oath.

  “Okay then, let’s go,” I said, unsure of my decision.

  What the hell have I gotten myself into?

  We drove the rest of the way in silence. Neither of us really knew what to say, and I assumed she was thinking the same thing I was. I wanted her so badly, but I was afraid if I let her in that I wouldn’t be able to let go. I had to remind myself of the demands of my job. Even if I did want a real relationship, it wasn’t possible. I was always being deployed at a moment’s notice.

  After pulling into the driveway she sat there, quietly gazing out the window.

  “Chesney, you can trust me,” I said again. But I wasn’t so sure she could. I wasn’t sure I could trust myself.

  She looked over at me with a nervous smile, grabbed her backpack, and jumped out of the truck.

  It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Zane. I did. Probably more than I should, to be honest. But I didn’t trust myself to be alone with him. Whether I liked it or not, I was falling for him. The scary part was I had no control over it.

  But I had made a decision on the bus. If he was in, so was I.

  No regrets. I’d had too many of those already in my life. My last relationship was toxic. If what Zane and I shared felt right, then I was willing to take the chance because I’d already wasted too much time worrying about the ‘what ifs’.

  Zane led me up the steps to the front door. His house was beautiful, enchanting even. It was an old, cream-colored, thatched-roof cottage with decorative thatch designs at the peak. Inside, I noticed how manly it smelled like sandalwood and mint. It was very tidy, but I could tell it was a bachelor pad. The walls were pretty bare except for the massive, eighty-inch TV hanging on the far wall of the living room surrounded by video games and movies.

  “Make yourself at home. I just have a few things I need to do before bed,” Zane said as he disappeared into what looked like an office and closed the door.

  Okay.

  Walking further in, I set my backpack on the kitchen counter and ran my fingers across the smooth marble countertop. The kitchen had black appliances and was exactly my style. There was a door in the back that led out to a wooden back porch.

  Feeling curious, I started to explore a little. There was a wood-burning fireplace in the living room along the same wall as the television. Across the room from the TV and fireplace were a large, black, sectional sofa and a black ottoman with flowing curves and a very unique style.

  They both looked comfortable. I started to imagine what it would feel like to lie there, in his arms, while watching a movie or listening to the fire as the wood crackled under the heat. Then, I frowned as I thought about how many women must’ve slept on that couch.

  I sighed in frustration and then continued to the back of the house.

  There were three doors lining the hallway. The first one was an extra bedroom with a daybed, some boxes, and luggage. The middle door opened up to a full-sized bathroom. It was trimmed in white and blue wallpaper with white tile behind the sink and bathtub. It was a bit small, but cute.

  The next door led to his bedroom. What I saw made my breath hitch. It was the most sensual and stimulating room I’d ever seen. The entire room was decorated in deep-red and black accents.

  The lights in the room were on dimmers, and they were on the lowest setting.

  There was a king-sized bed on the farthest side of the room. Much better than my twin bed. The plush comforter was black and red and set against a black leather headboard. There were also two black side tables with lamps on them.

  Walking over to the bed, I rubbed my hands along the soft duvet and imagined what it would feel like to slip between the sheets.

  Opposite the bed was a black dresser with a large mirror above it. On the wall to the right, there was another fireplace with a TV above the mantle.

  A white flokati rug lined the floor in front of the fireplace and a dark-red, oversized bean bag chair rested on top of it.

  On the other side of the fireplace was a small walk-in closet. I turned the light on and saw Zane’s uniforms hanging in the front and his normal, everyday clothing behind them. His work boots and shoes lined the floor.

  Hmmm. So tidy. Impressive.

  Turning the light off and shutting the door, I stepped into the master bathroom. It was like walking into a magazine. I couldn’t have designed it better myself. It was very spacious. In the corner there was a Jacuzzi tub, and I envisioned sinking to my nose into the warm water while jets and bubbles gently massaged my skin.

  Beside the tub was a huge walk-in shower. I stepped into it in awe. It was a dimly lit stone shower with walls that glistened under the low light. There was a bench on one side with built-in shelves above it. Each shelf was neatly lined with Zane’s toiletries. There were three shower heads. One was a large sixteen-inch, rain shower spout directly above where I was standing. It had built-in changing LED lights. The second was a massaging head that could be pulled off the wall and used as a handheld. The third one was a chrome waterfall panel on the back wall of the shower.

  If I had this shower, I’d be the cleanest person on earth.

  I jumped, almost banging my head against the wall, when Zane’s deep voice echoed. “What’re you doing in my shower?” he said, obviously amused.

  “You said to make myself at home,” I said sheepishly.

  “True.” He nodded, and his eyes penetrated me as he continued, “Although, you may wanna get out before I make you wet.”

  His eyes shifted to the faucet handle.

  “You wouldn’t dare,” I challenged.

  Apparently, he would. As I started to walk out, he reached in and turned on all three shower heads, soaking me. I squealed, startled as the cold water beat down against my skin.

  “Zane! It’s so cold!” I yelled, shivering.

  “It’ll warm up,” he said, closing the door behind him. He grabbed me around the waist and pushed me directly under the freezing water.

  “You are…yo
u are...” I couldn’t finish because the water was so cold. I sputtered for a moment until it finally started warming.

  I broke free from Zane’s grasp and turned the handle all the way over to hot. Steam filled the shower, engulfing us both in a foggy haze.

  He took hold of me again, both of us clothed and soaking wet. As soon as I looked up at him, I froze. The only sounds were our intense breathing and the water surging to our feet. I could tell he was struggling—holding back. I still wasn’t sure why he was so careful with me, yet he would sleep with any other woman without giving it a second thought. I never thought I’d be upset by the fact that a man didn’t want to have sex with me. You’d think it would be the other way around.

  The illumination of the changing LED lights coming from the shower head gave off an ethereal glow, setting the mood. Zane brought his hands up to my face.

  “I know I promised nothing would happen tonight, Chesney,” he uttered through semi-clenched teeth. “I’m trying very hard to keep that promise. It’s taking everything I have to control myself right now.”

  “What if I wanted you to break that promise?” I asked breathlessly.

  His jaw tightened. “I don’t make promises I can’t keep.”

  I raised my chin, feeling brave. “But this is one promise I don’t want you to keep.”

  Something changed in him as if a weight he’d been carrying around for a while had been lifted.

  “My firefly,” he breathed.

  My pulse hammered in my ears, and my core tightened with anticipation as he stared into my eyes. The look in his eyes told me he was about to ravish me. I swallowed hard, wondering if I’d be able to recover if he did. Both physically and emotionally.

  “You look so damn sexy right now,” he growled, pressing me up against the shower wall.

  He gave me one final look for approval and then crushed his lips down on mine. His kiss was raw and hungry, full of passion. He was holding nothing back. He dug his hips into mine, and I wrapped my arms around his waist. Reaching under his soaking wet shirt, I brought it over his head and threw it onto the shower floor.

  He started kissing me behind my ear and down my neck. Tilting my head to the side, I gave him permission to go lower. A deep moan escaped his lips as I dragged my nails across his back.