Masters of My Desire

by Jenna Jacobs

  “Hrmm, I bet you don’t.” Nick scoffed. Suddenly he leaned in; his lips close to my ear. “You don’t need to run from it, little one. If it’s something new and little bit scary, talk to us. We’ll help you through it.”

  I shook my head in furious denial then thrust out my chin. “I’m not running from anything.”

  “Ordinarily, we spank little subbies for lying, but we’ll give you a free pass on the off chance you really don’t know what you are.” Dylan’s smiled. His expression was warm, but his voice teemed with command.

  Staring at his broad hand gripping the steering wheel, I had no trouble envisioning Dylan’s beefy paw spanking my ass. That thought had my brain spinning like a ballerina on crack. No. I couldn’t confess that I knew about Dominance or submission for fear it would lead me to profess the kinky fantasies tucked deep in my brain.

  I sucked in a deep breath and mentally hiked up my big girl panties. “I know exactly what I am. I’m a successful businesswoman who has no intention of handing over her power to a couple of Neanderthals who want to subjugate her.”

  Nick’s eyes flashed wide and a brilliant smile exploded over his face. “How do you know it’s a power exchange, pet?”

  Fuck! Me and my big mouth. “This discussion is over,” I announced in a haughty, ice queen tone—the one I reserved for assholish lawyers who assumed I was an incompetent adversary.

  “Oh it’s far from over, little one. But we’ll table it until you’re feeling better.” Nick’s dazzling smile was so intoxicating, I felt like a drunken sorority pledge.

  With a non-committal scoff, I deemed my best course of action was to keep my mouth shut and not say anything stupid. Not give them any leverage that would lead to me succumbing to the dark, forbidden desires laid buried inside.

  As the pain meds began to take effect, my eyes grew heavy. They slid shut and I rested my head on the back of the seat while my brain whirled.

  I’d somehow managed to be in the midst of two Doms. Doms that exuded an aurora of power, more power than I’d felt before. Either seemed more than capable of fulfilling my deviant dreams. And while a part of me felt like a kid in a candy store, another part felt like a scared rabbit stalked by a couple of hungry wolves.

  On the other hand, they didn’t know a whit about me or my boring life. I could be as wild as Mellie, if I wanted to. She was forever trotting the globe as an interior designer to the world’s rich and famous. I’d stopped counting the number of flings she’d had with filthy rich men from exotic continents. Unfortunately, I was nothing like my sister. Dylan and Nick might be floored to discover my last dating disaster had been nine long months ago, with a boring paralegal from Topeka. I was the first to admit I lacked in sexual prowess, but nothing had prepared me for Wayne. He pegged the needle on the Nerd-O-Gram. Compared to him, I was a promiscuous sex-kitten. Lucky for me, Wayne’s sinuses began to drain half way through our date. When he put the metholatum strip across his nose in the restaurant, I knew he’d be lucky to get a handshake when the night was through.

  It was a sad fact that my love life sucked. So why couldn’t I have a BDSM ménage fling? What was stopping me? Your fears, you idiot. That tiny of voice of reason echoed in my head. But it wasn’t like I’d ever see them again. There’d be no awkward “Thanks, we’ll have to do this again sometime” or “I’ll call you in the morning” bullshit. Nothing was stopping me from living out my fantasies if I really wanted to. And thinking about the two men I was wedged between… I really wanted to. Maybe I could break free of my chaste shell for a few days. I’d have a steamy bounty of memories to take back home and re-live at my leisure…Like every flippin’ night with BOB, my battery-operated boyfriend.

  My thoughts grew fuzzy, shrouded in a dark haze that seemed determined to drag me under. Absorbed by the hum of the diesel engine, I faded into nothingness.

  Pulling me from the inky blackness was a rich, smooth voice. Disoriented and floating in a thick fog, it took me a moment to realize I was no longer in the truck, but flat on my back in a warm, soft bed. I wasn’t at home because it didn’t smell like my room. And I knew I wasn’t in a hospital, either. There was a strange familiarity to the scent of cinnamon and spice, and as I opened my heavy lids for a moment, calmness settled over me. I was at Kit’s. My eyes fell closed as I struggled to clear the drug-induced blanket that enveloped my brain. Focused on the deep, lustrous tone, I attempted to decipher the words resonating in my ears.

  “No, I do not want her rescheduling the damn deposition again, George. This is bullshit. She’s playing the victim card and I’m sick to death of it. She signed the pre-nup without an ounce of reservation. She stole from me, lied, and cheated. As per our agreement, she took everything she walked in with: Pimp-boy’s Bentley and a fucking closet full of designer clothes and shoes. I will not give her a goddamn penny!”

  Nick. Yes, it was the russet-skinned Native man talking, but his voice sounded funny. Tight and brittle and bathed in sharp but controlled anger. Battling my brain, I searched for a clear path through the twisted labyrinth of residue that the pain pills had left behind.

  Pre-nup? As in divorce?

  “She needs to find another stupid bastard to sink her talons into. I’m done.”

  Forcing my lids open, I spied Nick sitting in a chair at the foot of my bed. Sat-phone pressed to his ear, his expression was grim as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and finger.

  After forcing my lids to remain open, I inhaled a deep breath. The familiar spicy scent of the barn drew a smile. It wasn’t really a barn, but a modernized outbuilding, a separate structure to house guests across the gravel parking lot from Kit’s early 1900’s Victorian mansion that accommodated even more customers.

  Mellie and I always opted to stay in the barn on our yearly trip. Its seclusion ensured we could stay up late, giggling, sipping wine, and talking trash without worry of keeping other guests awake.

  Overpowered by the mighty weight of my lids, my eyes slowly eased shut once more. But I continued to listen to Nick’s decadent voice and tried to ignore the tingles of need his tenor induced.

  “Thanks, George. I appreciate you handling this for me.” Suddenly his tone softened to a more familiar timbre. “How are things going at Genesis? Is little Leagh still keeping you on your toes?” I could hear the echo of George’s baritone voice through the sat phone, but not clearly enough to make out what he was saying. There was a long pause before Nick issued a deep laugh. “She loaded your toy bag with clothespins and bunny floggers? Whoa damn, that little vixen. I’ll be anxious to hear how you punished her for that when we get back. If we get back, that is. There’s a hell of a nasty storm that got us in its crosshairs. If it’s headed your way… stay safe my friend.” Nick paused, again. “Okay, man. Thanks for everything. I owe you a bottle of Macallan or Dalmore, your choice. Later, man.”

  “Who are George and Leagh?” I asked. My tongue felt like rubber and my words came out slurred. “What time is it?”

  “Ah, you’re awake. They’re friends of mine. Well, mine and Dylan. It’s about four-thirty in the afternoon. How’s your headache, little one?”

  The bed dipped and I forced my eyes open, determined to stay alert as I gazed up at Nick sitting alongside me. Lord, the man was gorgeous. His long, inky hair hung over his shoulders and I wanted to reach out and touch it, to rub the glistening strands through my fingers.

  I swallowed back the longing with my dry throat. “Headache’s gone, but I feel loopy. I think I’ve been sucking on sand. I need water.”

  “Good. I’m glad your headache’s gone. Stay put, I’ll be right back.”

  It was a chore, but I pulled my arms out from beneath the blankets and eased against the headboard. The covers pooled around my waist and I gasped to discover I was buck-ass-naked. I yanked the sheet up to my neck as Nick swaggered from the bathroom with a glass of water in his hand.

  “Where the fuck are my clothes? And who the hell undressed me?” I screeched.
>
  Nick blinked than narrowed his eyes, his brows slashed in an angry scowl. “Seems I forgot to get the soap from the bathroom to wash your filthy mouth out with, little one.”

  “The hell you will,” I gasped.

  “Dylan and I took your clothes off and washed the blood from your foot before we tucked you into bed. Your clothes are up at the house. Kit’s trying to get the stains out. And your shoe is in the dumpster on the driveway.”

  Nick thrust the glass toward me with a disapproving frown. I guzzled the cool, refreshing liquid and tried to ignore his stern expression. A wave of guilt washed over me and though I probably owed him an apology, they’d seen me naked… without my permission. I had no idea if they’d touched me or fondled me, I was knocked the hell out on pain meds. I didn’t know a damn thing about either of them. They could have violated me anyway they’d wanted to, and I’d never have known.

  I glanced up at Nick and was surprised to see a hint of hurt in his expression. I suddenly realized, if they were indeed Doms, they wouldn’t have taken such liberties with me. They would adhere to the BDSM code of conduct, which was “safe, sane and consensual.” My stomached churned and embarrassment spiked for thinking they’d done anything but care for me. Still, they were strangers and dammit, they’d seen me naked.

  Even the two men I’d had clumsy sex with back in college hadn’t seen me totally nude. I’d made sure the lights were out before I’d worked up enough courage to peel off my jeans. My inept sexual experiences were less than exciting. It obviously wasn’t for either of the nerds, because they never came back for a second round.

  Nick crossed his arms over his massive chest as I drained the water from the glass. Gazing at his russet muscles bulging from beneath his tight black T-shirt, I prayed I wouldn’t choke. He looked forceful and imposing and I had the overwhelming desire to trace my tongue over every defined ridge of his body.

  “You know, you’re not the first woman I’ve seen naked. And I can safely say you won’t be the last.”

  “I’m sorry if I seem unappreciative, but I was surprised to wake up nude. I’m a modest person. I don’t prance around naked in front of people. I can’t even remember the last time my own doctor saw me without a paper gown on.” My words tumbled out, clipped and bitter.

  “We didn’t undress you with sexual intent, little one, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  “I’m not worried.” I lied. “But you two certainly could have done anything you wanted and I’d be none the wiser now, wouldn’t I?” I hissed. Cursing my burning and aroused body, I longed for them to touch me, comatose or not.

  The smile Nick bit back infuriated me even more.

  “Trust me, little one. When we explore your body, we’re going to want you wide awake for every sweet caress.”

  “You’re forgetting one key element, Mr. Alpha Dom... it has to be consensual.”

  “Consensual, indeed. Which brings us back to the question I asked in the truck, girl. How long have you been in the lifestyle?”

  I clenched my jaw, determined not to answer.

  Nick sobered. “Why do you do that?”

  “Do what?”

  “Pull up walls and hang ‘no trespassing’ signs the minute you realize you’re not in control?” He leaned down and stroked a warm finger over my cheek. “You know being out of control, especially for someone like you, is usually an amazing experience.”

  “Someone like me? I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I lied, as I jerked back and set the empty glass on the bedside table with a heavy thud. “I’m sure you think I’m some type of repressed submissive. I hate to burst your bubble, pal, but I’m not a sub. Not in the least. I am always in control and I like it that way.”

  “You’ve already used your free pass, little one. That lie is going to cost you.” A wicked grin spread across his gorgeous lips. “Not tonight, but soon.”

  I swallowed down desire, then inhaled a deep breath. “Look, Nick. I’m not here to play games. I’m here for a week of relaxation with my sister.”

  But the entire time I tried to reason with him, fantasies of those Dom/sub games involving him and Dylan filled my mind. I closed my eyes and with a slight shake of my head, vanquished the images. The reality was, I’d never be brave enough to confess my submissive desires to Nick, Dylan or anyone else. And his dogged questions about my experience of BDSM, or rather lack of, only served to breed doubts and insecurities in my brain. Why was Nick showering me with flirtatious overtures? Did he derive some kind of sick thrill out if? Or was he pretending to be interested in someone like me, assuming I’d be a quick, convenient conquest?

  Nick had already commented about me being innocent—even though I’d refuted it with an abysmal lie— I wasn’t naive enough to harbor hopes that eye candy like he and Dylan would ever look twice at me. And why was I allowing such lofty thoughts to burn up my brain cells in the first place? Nothing was going to happen because I was too big a chicken. But it didn’t diminish the fact that he’d seen me naked, seen every one of my imperfections, and still taunted me with sex-laced innuendos. Could he honestly be interested in me?

  Fat chance.

  Insecurities swirled like a twister inside me, but one thing was certain: Nick’s powerful command tested my restraint. It was paramount that I shield myself in a thick layer of armor, until I figured out what game he was playing, lest I do something stupid like beg him to teach me the ways of submission.

  Nick walked to the end of the bed, pulled back the curtain, and gazed out the window.

  “Speaking of your sister, she called on the sat phone while you were asleep. They had to divert her flight to Oklahoma City because the storm has already hit Omaha and their airport is closed. She’s not sure she can make it but thanked me for helping you out.” He turned, a wolfish grin tugging his lips as he gazed into my eyes. “I promised her we’d do everything in our power to take good care of you.”

  Assaulted with a combination of arousal and despair, my heart sank and my shoulders sagged. I hung my head, blotting out his innuendo, as the force of Mellie not coming to Kit’s slammed me hard. This was supposed to be our time. It was the most important event in my boring life. I looked forward to this week the whole damn year and now...it wasn’t fair. Since our parents died, I drew strength from Mellie. I counted on her to prop me up and make me feel like I could survive another year of work and sleep, work and sleep. She was all I had left and she wasn’t coming. Tears stung my eyes and slipped down my cheeks.

  “Aww, little one, don’t cry,” Nick consoled as he turned and sat next to me on the bed. Placing two wide fingers under my chin, he raised my head, forcing me to look into his eyes. “I’m sure she’ll try to get here in a day or two. I see your time with her means a lot to you.”

  “It does,” I sniffed, clutching the sheet to my breasts. “I’ve looked forward to this vacation with her for such a long time.”

  Nick released my chin then wiped my tears with the broad pads of his thumbs. How could he could be so tender, yet so incredibly powerful? He was frightening and enigmatic in a surreal way and the longer I was in his presence, the more I could feel him delving inside my soul.

  “Where’s Dylan?” I asked, unable to mask the quiver of insecurity.

  He held me in a commanding yet compassionate gaze. “When we carried in your purse, it slid off the table and some of your things fell out. As we were putting them back in we saw your grocery list so he ran to the store to pick up the things you wanted.”

  “You looked in my purse?” I screeched, in disbelief.

  Nick raised his palms. “I know. I know. We breached the most sacred place a woman possesses. But you’ll be pleased to know we put everything back in while keeping all your secrets intact. No wars were started and no children or animals harmed in the process,” he explained as that dazzling smile spread across his lips.

  I couldn’t help but chuckle. “You’re a smart ass, you know that?”

  “So that’
s what it takes?”

  “That’s what what takes?” I felt my brows furrow in confusion.

  “What it takes to make you smile.”

  My face warmed and I lowered my head. They had taken charge of everything. I didn’t know if I should be happy or mad about it. Having decisions made for me felt…awkward.

  “He didn’t have to do that. I could have borrowed Kit’s car.”

  “He wanted to, pet, besides you’re in no condition to drive.”

  “I feel fine now. I could have driven.” Nick issued a look rife with skepticism and I sighed in frustration. “Do you mind stepping out of the room so I can find my robe?”

  “Yes, I mind. I have no intention of leaving you alone after the dose of pain meds you took. They knocked you out cold. I’m not about to let you stumble and fall. What if you hit your head?”

  He was the most infuriatingly pigheaded man I’d ever met. But I could be as equally stubborn.

  “I’ll be careful. I promise. Now get out so I can use the restroom.”

  “Go.” He raised a hand toward the bathroom, like a restaurant Maître D' ushering guests to their table.

  “I’m not getting out of this bed naked. Not with you in the room.”

  “And I’ve already told you, I’m not leaving you alone. I don’t like to repeat myself, little one. It goes against my nature.”

  “Ah, yes. Your big-bad-Dominant nature. How silly of me to forget,” I taunted with a sarcastic smile. “You may have seen me naked once, but you won’t see it twice. Now leave.”

  He studied me in silence, his lips pursed, and I could almost hear the cogs of his brain turning. Those decadent charcoal eyes seared deep, and the thin sheet I clutched to my breasts, wasn’t near the barrier I needed to hide from his scrutinizing Dominant scalpel.

  He took a step back then widened his stance, squared his shoulders and placed his hands behind his back. His eyes shimmered with untamed exactness and dominance rolled off of him in a wave so powerful, I thought it would flatten me like a paper doll. A sizzle of excitement blistered my core and hot, slick nectar oozed from between my folds.