“Fine, I’ll find somethin’ else to do. You lot ought to give up on this little charade, I spent months out here alone, I can do it again. You’re makin’ a mistake thinkin’ you’ll break me. Did you even stop to think that maybe I don’t want to fuckin’ change?”
Then he turns and walks back into the room, slamming the door. I sigh and put my head in my hands. This could be a long…long few weeks, or months.
God I hope it’s only weeks.
CHAPTER 5
WILLOW
“Willow, this is Liam.”
I smile at the tall, handsome man Ace is introducing me to. He said Liam is an old friend, and is happy to play along for a little while, in hopes of getting some sort of reaction from Jagger. I honestly don’t think it will work, and I find it a little childish, but it’s worth a try. Anything right now is worth a try. I’m losing him. He’s been in and out of his room all afternoon, ignoring everyone. He’s a strong willed man, and I am wondering if it’s going to take a whole lot more than this to break him. I feel like we could be making a mistake trying this, but I honestly don’t know what else to do.
“Hi Liam, it’s nice to meet you.”
Liam is tall, with dark hair, blue eyes and a nice smile. He’s a nice looking man, in all ways. Clean skin, nice hair style…he’s…well…what every mother hopes her child will bring home.
“Thanks for the invite.”
“You’re very welcome.”
I give him my best welcoming smile, and lead him into the kitchen. I hear Cody running around downstairs where Rusty is cooking some food. Everyone is sitting down there, but Jagger is still in his room. I don’t even know if we’ll get him out.
“Do you need some help?”
I smile over at Liam, then I hand him a knife. “Sure, if you’re any good at chopping tomatoes.”
“I go all right, as long as you’re ok with a few fingers in there?”
I giggle. “I think we can manage without chopping all your fingers off.”
He chuckles. “I think so too. So tell me, Willow, how do you know the guys?”
“She’s my wife.”
I almost smile to myself when I hear Jagger’s voice coming from his door. He walks out, wearing an old pair of faded jeans, a black shirt and no shoes. His hair is messy and he looks fucking gorgeous. I give him a quick glance, then turn back to Liam.
“Well, we’re on a break. I met them through Jagger here, as I’m sure you’ve guessed. What about you, Liam?”
I completely brush Jagger off, and I don’t dare to turn to him and see his expression. Part of me is terrified about what I might see, the other part is extremely curious to see if he’s taken some sort of reaction, at all.
“I know Ace, we met when he was younger. So what do you do for a living?” Liam says, completely ignoring Jagger too.
I feel Jagger brush past me, open the fridge and pull out a beer. I still don’t turn to him. I just continue slicing the lettuce and peppers.
“I am just a mom at the moment.”
Jagger snorts. I want to turn around and slap him, but I keep my cool. Liam does too, he never takes his eyes from me. I guess Ace prepped him well.
“That’s cool, how old are your kids?”
Ace walks into the kitchen then, and when he sees Jagger, I see his eyes lighten just a touch.
“Meat is ready,” he says.
“Thanks, Ace, come on Liam, can you help me move this stuff?”
I throw the lettuce into the bowl and Liam throws his tomatoes in. When I have drizzled some dressing on, I lift the bowl. Liam picks up a few rolls and plates and he heads out with me. When I get to the door, I turn and look back towards Jagger.
“If you’re not going to join us, can you stay up here? I’m not in the mood for your drama tonight.”
His eyes widen, and when I step outside, I’m smiling. Liam helps me take the food downstairs and when we’re out of Jagger’s hearing range, I turn to him.
“Thank you for doing this, Liam.”
“Anything for the guys, I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through.”
“I just hope he comes back from it,” I sigh.
Liam pats my shoulder. “I’m sure it will be fine.”
“There you are!” Jenny cries, rushing over.
Liam walks over to the table and places the food down, then joins the guys around the small fire they’ve got going.
“So,” Jenny says, leaning in close. “Anything?”
“He reacted, not a lot, but he did react.”
“That’s a start.”
“Yeah, now to see if he actually comes downstairs.”
Jenny points behind me and I turn to see Jagger and Ace coming down the stairs. I can’t help my heart as it swells. Maybe this was a good idea after all. It was worth trying and it might just pay off. I turn and smile to Jenny, giving her my best hopeful expression. She hugs me quickly, then hands me a beer.
“Enjoy this will you!”
“Where’s the kids?”
She points to the yard where Cody is running around in circles, squealing with a bat in his hands. Leila is in her bouncer near the guys, waggling a fluffy bunny around in her hands.
“Cody loves it out here.”
“I knew he would,” I smile.
When Cody notices Jagger, he drops his bat and charges towards him. When they meet, Jagger lifts him, and for the first time in a while, I see a genuine smile out of my husband. It makes my heart quite literally ache. I’ve missed that smile so much. I watch them, feeling my chest fill with emotion as Jagger says something to Cody and Cody giggles. I turn away, swallowing. God I hope this is the right move. What if he hates me for it? What if it just drives a wedge between us? Shaking my head, I turn back to the Jenny and smile.
“Drink up!” I say, clinking my beer bottle with hers.
Two hours and five drinks later, and I’m giggling like a school kid. I’m sitting beside Liam and he’s told me about four jokes that probably wouldn’t be funny if I was sober. The kids are in bed, dinner is done and the guys are all chatting loudly around me. I’ve even heard Jagger say a few things, but mostly he’s just been sitting there, drinking.
“So, what do you think the rabbit did?” Liam asks.
“What?” I giggle.
“The rabbit? Did you hear my joke?” he laughs.
“I totally…did not.”
“You’re a bad listener, Willow.”
I chuckle again. “All right, tell me once more.”
I notice Jagger watching me from the corner of my eye, but I don’t turn.
“So, the rabbit goes to the crocodile…”
“A what?”
“Crocodile.”
I snort. “You mean an alligator?”
Liam rolls his eyes. “Come on, go easy, I visited Australia a lot.”
“All right, so the rabbit goes to the alligator…”
“It has to be a crocodile!” Liam laughs loudly.
“Aw, Liam, come on!”
I go to stand and get another beer, but my foot tangles in my chair. I stumble and Liam reaches out, grabbing me and pulling me back. Because I am drunk, I stumble right onto his lap. With a giggle, I say, “Liam, I know you like me, but don’t you think this is a little fast.”
Before he can answer, Jagger is out of his seat, gripping my arm and hurling me out of Liam’s lap.
“Keep your fuckin’ hands off.”
Everyone stops talking and turns to look at him. As if it clicks, he lets me go and steps backwards.
“You fuckin’ bastards planned this, didn’t you?”
I look up at Jagger, trying to catch something, anything. He drops his beer onto the ground, letting the glass smash, then he turns to me and glares at me.
“Want to fuck him, wife? Go right ahead.”
Then he turns and walks off, leaving us all standing, shocked. I turn to Ace when he walks over and rests his hand on my shoulder.
“That kind of hurt,”
I whisper.
“He only said that because he realized what he’d done. He reacted, Willow. I saw it. He never took his eyes off you. It bothered him.”
“Obviously not enough,” I say softly. “I’m sorry, I think I need to go to bed. Thank you, Liam, for trying.”
Then I put my beer down and head towards the door. I hear Ace call out my name, but I don’t turn back. I head up to my room and close the door gently, before lowering down and letting the tears fall. He told me to fuck someone else. The way he said it. It burned. It tore right down into my heart. What the hell am I trying to prove here? Jagger is too far gone, he doesn’t want to care, he doesn’t want to let himself and I honestly don’t think it will matter what we do. He’s clearly not changing his mind anytime soon.
I don’t know where to go from here, and that scares me.
~*~*~*~*
WILLOW
God, my throat is dry, beer does that to me. I can’t find my way through this god damned house at night, I really can’t. Frustrated, I huff loudly and slam into a wall. Far out. I am just about to the kitchen when a set of hard arms go around me from behind. I flinch and go to scream, but a hand goes over my mouth. I know the smell as soon as I calm down, and I realize it’s Jagger. Great, what the hell is he playing at now? Honest to god, the man never gives up.
“You didn’t really think your little game out there would work tonight, did you?”
I try to elbow him, but he just holds me tighter. His hard body presses against my back and mine comes to life, even though I am inwardly cursing it for betraying me.
“No, I didn’t think so. That’s why you’re going to get me out of this place. You’re going to make a loud sound, and distract Rusty who is sitting at the front door, so I can leave.”
Hell no, I’m not. I squirm, but Jagger doesn’t let my mouth go.
“Then, you’re going to let me leave and do what’s best here.”
I don’t move, if he won’t let my mouth go, I can’t answer him. Finally, he slips his hand from my mouth, but he doesn’t move his body from mine. His arm is wrapped around my waist, holding me tightly, and I would be lying to say it didn’t feel good.
“I’m not doing anything, so don’t bother, Johnny.”
“Yes, you are.”
“No,” I say, squirming again. “I’m not.”
“You’re wasting your time with me, Willow. Surely you can see that.”
“I know what you’re trying to do, and it won’t work. You’re trying to convince me to let you go, convince me that you don’t care so I’ll get hurt enough and just give up. Well, you’re wrong Johnny Black, I won’t give up. For better or for worse, remember? I made a promise!”
He’s silent a moment, then he puts his lips to my ear and whispers, “You’re a fool then, Willow. I am only going to hurt you. Didn’t you see how this would end after the other night?”
“The other night was no more than some seriously good sex.”
He flinches, like my words have shocked him. Good. I can be just as cold as he can.
“I don’t want to be here, do you really want to keep me here when I don’t want to stay?”
“You don’t know what you want, you admit that to me.”
“Yeah, and that includes you. Don’t do this to yourself, Willow.”
“So it wouldn’t bother you,” I snap, trying to get free again. “If I fucked someone else?”
“No.”
“Bullshit, Jagger!”
He growls and drops his arms, spinning me around to face him.
“Don’t you see? I’m not the same anymore. I’m not who you think I am!”
I cross my arms and glare at him. “Why did you marry me then? Why did you let me have Leila?”
“I was in fucking denial,” he says, crossing his own arms. “I had just been rescued from the island, I was relieved, I was living in that moment where you’re just happy to be alive. Then reality set in, and I realized I’ve changed. I was never made to be a family man. I am a fuckin’ gang leader, it’s what I do. I’m no good for you or those kids. I should have never became a father.”
“You don’t mean that,” I rasp, my heart thumping.
“They’re better off without me, and so are you. I can’t even begin to explain the shit that went on when I was on that island. I’m not the man you loved, Willow and I fucked up marrying you, because I should have never taken you back. I should have let you go. I’m no good, just accept that and move on.”
“No,” I say, my voice wobbly.
“Fuckin’ hell, now isn’t the time to get determined.”
“You want to hurt me? Fine, Jagger, do it but I won’t stop trying. I don’t know what went down, you’re right about that, but I do know that it didn’t change you so much that you are this different. This isn’t you. This is a shell of you, a part of you that’s damaged and you just refuse to face it. You’re taking the easy road, you’re just going to run instead of facing what happened. I won’t let you do that. One day, you will thank me for it. Now if you try to run, I will scream so loudly everyone will wake up, so go right ahead.”
He stares angrily down at me for a moment, and then with a frustrated growl, he turns and walks towards his room. When he gets to the door, he yells over his shoulder, “I will never thank you for this, Willow. Never.”
Then he slams the door and leaves me feeling completely and utterly drained.
CHAPTER 6
WILLOW
To say the next three days are hell, would be an understatement. Jagger refuses to speak to me, he refuses to even look at me. He’s not changing, after his outburst, he’s just not showing any other signs of pulling through. I don’t know what else I can do. Today is the fourth day, and the boys are becoming quite frustrated with Jagger. Ace has begged me to let him knock him out, a few times now. We all know that’s not going to work, Jagger can fight. So, we are just waiting...waiting for him to get frustrated, waiting for him to break. Damn man is so fucking head strong, it’s ridiculous.
“Willow, there you are…”
I turn from the window I was staring out, to see Jenny with a phone in her hands.
“Hey, sorry, I got distracted.”
“Mother is on the phone.”
I sigh and roll my eyes. “Seriously?”
“Yep, she wants to know why you’re not home so she can see the kids.”
Sighing, I grip the phone from Jenny’s hand and mouth an ‘I love you’ before pressing it to my ear.
“Hello, mother!”
“Willow,” she cries down the line. “Where are you?”
“We’re out at Jagger’s house, you remember the one I told you about that’s two hours away.”
“What on earth are you doing out there?”
“Just taking a break.”
“Well, how am I supposed to visit my grand babies when I can’t get to them,” she whines.
“I don’t know, mom…”
“Jenny offered to bring me out tomorrow, is that ok with you?”
Damn you Jennifer.
“Yes, that’s ok.”
“Well, perhaps you’ll spare some time for me then…”
“Mom,” I say in a tired voice. “Things are complicated.”
“They’re always complicated!” she snaps.
“Fuck you, Ace, you fuckin’ cunt!”
I hear the words being roared from the living room, and I flinch.
“I have to go, mom!”
I hang up the phone before she can answer me. I turn and run from the room, when I skid into the living room, I see Jagger and Ace standing, face to face, both of them with clenched fists, both of them panting.
“You need to snap out of this, Jagger. I will do whatever it fuckin’ takes, Willow doesn’t deserve this bullshit from you!”
I see then, that Jagger has a bloody lip. Did Ace hit him?
“Fuck you all! Can’t you see I don’t want this? Can’t you see I don’t give a fuck about any of you.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Ace challenges.
“Back off, Ace.”
“Or what?”
Jagger’s eyes flare, and before I can stop him, his fist connects with Ace’s jaw in a punch so hard it sends Ace flying across the room. I open my mouth and scream, rushing over. Angel and Bull are already running up the stairs and Rusty is hesitating behind Jagger, knowing full well he can’t hold him back. Jagger storms over, picking Ace up from the ground and gripping his shirt, before driving punch after punch into his face. The sounds of Ace’s nose breaking and his jaw shattering is something I’ll never forget. It’s me who gets to Jagger first.
“Stop it, you’ll kill him!” I scream.
I grip Jagger’s arm and he spins around, fist raised. For a split second, I am sure he’ll hit me, but he doesn’t. Panting, his eyes wild with anger, he drops his fist and shoves me off him.
“I’m fuckin’ leavin’!”
“No,” I say, gripping the back of his shirt when he turns.
He spins around, gripping my arms and lifting me off the floor. I don’t take my eyes from his as he brings us square.
“Don’t push me, Willow, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t hurt me,” I whisper, feeling my entire body trembling.
“Don’t be so sure.”
“Hit me then,” I say, finally cracking. “Go on, Jagger, hit me.”
“Willow!” Angel yells.
Jagger’s eyes flare with anger and he brings our lips so close I can taste him.
“You’re walkin’ a fine fuckin’ line.”
“You want to hurt me, Jagger, then do it.”
He’s panting so heavily now I can hear it, I can hear the strange heaving sounds coming from his throat.
“Stop. It.”
“No, Jagger, I won’t. You tried to kill your own best friend, if you’re so god damned fucked up, if you’re so god damned emotionless, then fucking show me,” I scream in his face. “Show me how much you fucking don’t feel.”
“Enough!” he snarls.
“No, not enough. Hurt me. It’s what you want to do, isn’t it? You’re blaming the world for what went wrong, you’re trying too hard to prove I mean jack shit to you, so fucking prove it!”
Dark Destiny (Dark Brothers Book #4) Page 6