I realize the look on his face, is pure terror. He’s scared of Jagger. Snorting a laugh, I turn and see the guys walking towards me. For the first time, I see a side to Jagger I haven’t seen in a while. It’s that determined, scary, tough side that I fell in love with. Right now, if I didn’t know better, I would say that’s exactly who I was looking at. When he stops in front of me, his expression is wild.
“My car, now.”
I snort, rolling my eyes. “No.”
“Willow, car, now.”
“I, said, no.”
He grinds his jaw, and then leans down closer. “Willow, babe, get the fuck in my car before I throw you over my shoulder and drag you out of here kicking and screaming. You nearly fuckin’ died a couple of hours ago, then you ran out on me, and I find you here, fuckin’ drunk and alone. Get the fuck in my car, fuckin’ right now.”
I lean closer. “I said, no. Go play with your new girlfriend.”
The bartender gasps. Jagger growls, leans down, throws me over his shoulder and turns towards the door.
“I’ll take her home, you boys drink up, on me.”
He throws his wallet at the guys and they all grin at him, and me. I pummel my fists into his back as he carries me out the door. When we get to his truck, he opens the passenger side and throws me in. When he goes around to the driver’s side, he gets in and starts the car.
“I was having fun, leave me be.”
He shoots me a fierce glare, and I shut my mouth right away.
“I nearly lost my god damned wife tonight, I saw her face goin’ fuckin’ blue as the air was strangled from her body. Then, she ran off tellin’ me it’s fuckin’ over, all while actin’ like a fuckin’ mental patient. So, you’re not goin’ to have fun, you’re goin’ to fuckin’ talk to me.”
“I’m drunk.”
“Shut that pretty mouth, Willow. Now.”
“Bossy,” I grumble.
His lip actually twitches. Did Jagger just about smile at me? If me being smart is what it takes, by all means, I’ll continue.
“I want to go back and dance.”
“No,” he says, simply, as he pulls out.
“Don’t wanna go home and listen to you pour your heart out to another woman. I wanna go drink!”
His hand snaps out, covering my mouth. He uses his other hand to keep driving. I squirm, but he’s so damned strong. When he’s about to pull over, he removes his hand and I spin to him.
“Excuse me, but I was not done…”
He pulls the car over, and I see we’re at an old park at a place, I assume, used to be some sort of tourist attraction. Jagger turns to me, not bothering to get out of the truck.
“Right, now we’re here, we are going to talk.”
I cross my arms and huff.
“I will fuckin’ gag you, Willow, don’t fuckin’ put it past me.”
I glare at him, and then turn and stare out the window. “Talk then.”
“You fuckin’ ran off, I thought you were gonna die back there, for a split second I thought Ace wouldn’t be quick enough and honest to fuckin’ god in heaven, I thought I was gonna lose you. Do you know what that shit did to me?”
I turn to face him, narrowing my eyes.
“What?”
“It fuckin’ gutted me. All I could think, in that moment when your eyes were on me, was ‘what the fuck have I done’ I fucked up, Willow, god, I fucked up so fuckin’ bad. I nearly lost the one thing in my life that is so worth fighting for. When I saw the life bein’ strangled outta you, the only though in my head was ‘I’m gonna lose her forever and she thinks I don’t love her.’”
I swallow, suddenly feeling awful sober. “You left me.”
“I know I did, I fucked up, I thought it was the best thing…”
“It hurt me, Jagger. The past few months, have been fucking hell on me.”
“I know that too, baby.”
“And then she came after I had tried for so long, and right away you looked at her…with that gentle expression I have so needed. You cared when you watched her. Why was I not good enough to confide in? That really hurt me, Jagger.”
“Because she understands,” he says softly.
“She understands!” I cry. “Did you not hear me earlier?”
“I don’t mean that in a nasty way, fuck, just listen to me. There are things that went on…things that…I don’t want you to have to know. I don’t want you to have to look at me and see that person. I can’t confide in you, Willow, because I don’t want you to see me like that. I know you were there, I know you saw a lot of it, but you only scratched the surface.”
“How could you think it would matter to me? I care about you, I would never judge you!”
“It matters to me. I don’t want it for you. I don’t want to tarnish you with the bad that’s inside of me. I don’t want to tarnish my kids with it. You deserve better, I was trying to protect you. Can’t you see that?”
“I love you, Jagger.” I hiss. “I would go to the ends of the earth for you. Nothing you can say will take away from the fact that you pushed me, and are still pushing me away.”
“I didn’t know what I was doing. Things are getting clearer now because of Summer.”
“Thanks a fucking lot!”
He sighs, as if struggling how he might explain this. “It’s got nothing to do with you, Willow. You have to step away from this. She understands, and it’s not because she cares about me, or I care about her, it’s just that she was there and she knows. She’s got the same demons. You can’t fix everything, sometimes you have to step back and let me find my own way out of things. She will get me out of this, I can open up, I can talk without judgment!”
“I would never judge you!”
“No, that’s the problem. You would just be so god damned understanding and you shouldn’t have to be. You should hate me for what I’ve done.”
“I do, I hate you, Jagger,” I say, very overdramatically.
“No,” he whispers. “You don’t. That’s the problem. You don’t hate me. You would understand. You would listen. You would take those images into your mind and you wouldn’t look at me the same, but you would deal with it because you’re so god damned strong. You have your own demons, you shouldn’t have mine too.”
“Too late,” I rasp.
“That’s why I stepped back. I don’t expect you to understand, because I wouldn’t understand, but I’m asking you to try. Willow, she’s helping me. I…feel again. I can breathe again. I’m confronting what happened and I am learning to deal with it. You have to let me. If you want me back, then you have to let me do this.”
“I don’t want you back,” I whisper, turning my face away. My childish emotions are overruling everything right now.
“Willow…”
“We’re done Jagger, so you can do whatever you want with anyone else. It’s no longer my business. I can’t do it. I don’t have the strength. I’ve given you my entire heart and all you’ve given me back in the past few months is pure, raw hatred. I never deserved that.”
“I’m just picking up and you’re going to leave?”
How dare he sound hurt about that?
“Yes.”
“Willow, please, just let me work through this. I want to fix what went wrong, I do…”
I turn and meet his gaze, and I let the hot tears fall down my face. “It’s too late. While I was trying to fix you, Jagger, I broke myself in the process. All I wanted from you…was love. That’s all. I wanted to know you loved me. I wanted to know that some part of you still cared.”
“I do,” he rasps, his voice hoarse. “Willow, baby, listen to me…I do love you.”
“You’re lying!” I scream. “Don’t do that! Don’t try and make me feel like things will be ok because you had a moment today where you felt scared for me. Don’t try and make me believe you really love me because you don’t!”
“I do!” he growls. “I fucking love you with everything I am. I was blocked off emotional
ly, I couldn’t feel a damn thing, but in the past few days, I am starting to feel it. I was starting to feel a connection to you again, but you wouldn’t fuckin’ talk to me, then today when I saw you gasping for air…fuck me, Willow, I thought you were dead. I fuckin’ realized in that moment, that everything in my world is nothing without you, nothing.”
“Stop,” I cry, thrashing my head from side to side. “Stop talking.”
“No,” he husks, reaching over and gripping my face.
“Please don’t hurt me anymore, Jagger, I can’t take it.”
“Hey,” he orders. “Look at me.”
I keep my eyes clenched shut.
“Willow, open your eyes. Look at me.”
I open my eyes and hot tears leak out of the sides. He leans down, his lips graze mine and I shudder.
“I love you, do you hear me? I love you.”
“No,” I sob.
“Yes, I do - and now it’s my time to fight.”
“Please,” I whisper.
“I will make this better baby, I will.”
“Don’t call me that,” I sob angrily.
“Don’t run now, Willow…”
“You scare me, Jagger.”
His eyes scan my face, and then, before I can do anything, his lips are on mine. So many emotions run through me in that moment. I want to hit him, fight him, kiss him, make love to him, and everything in between. I don’t know if I should be pushing him away or letting him touch me. When he deepens the kiss, my body wins out and I wrap my arms around his neck, and I slide my body over the seat to straddle him. I’ve been dreaming of this moment for so long, the moment where I feel him again, the real him, not the broken him.
When his tongue finds mine, I whimper and cling to him. He pulls his lips from mine and looks down at me with an expression I have missed so much. Hunger. He turns, looking out the window to make sure we’re alone. When he’s satisfied, he turns back to me. Then his lips are on mine again and our bodies are flush against one another’s. I grip his shirt, pulling and tugging, wanting it gone. I don’t care about anything else in this moment, just him. He moves, pulling his lips again so he can pull his shirt off. He tosses it to the side and stares down at me.
“Willow, if we do this, if you let me inside you right now…you’re not walkin’ away from me. I won’t stop you, if you feel the need for space, but fuck…if you let me in right now, that’s it, there’s no turning back. I don’t deserve you, I agree with you there, but I will do everything in my power to change your mind. I will become worthy of you, and I will make sure you never have to look away from me again.”
“Yes,” I rasp, throwing all my previous concerns out the window. Right now, I need one thing from my husband, and I need it in its most pure, raw, aggressive form. “Fuck me, Jagger, this time…feel it.”
He growls deep and low in his throat, and grips my shirt, yanking it up and over my head. When he gets to my bra, he makes light work of it. My breasts come out, hard and swollen and he takes them into his hands, growling with need as he gently massages them. He lowers his mouth to my nipple, sucking it in and making me gasp with pleasure and need. I arch my hips up, my pussy clenches so hard it almost hurts. I’m that desperate.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you so fuckin’ much, Willow. I’m so fuckin’ sorry.”
“Don’t talk,” I groan.
He reaches down and shifts me a little so he can maneuver my shorts down my legs. Then he grips his jeans, unbuttoning them and pulling them down his hips. When his cock springs free, he wraps his hand around it and strokes. I groan, looking up to meet his lusty eyes.
“Want this?” he rasps.
“Yes,” I growl, low and throaty. “God yes.”
He turns me on the seat, pushing my back down, and then he grips my thighs, gently lifting them up so my knees are bent. Then, using both his hands, he parts them so my legs are open, pussy on view. His eyes grow lusty as he looks down at me. Then he leans forward, grips my ankles and pulls them out from under me, placing them over his shoulders. He uses hands to support my ass and then his head is between my legs. I cry out loudly as his tongue lashes my clit, hard, fast, greedy. I reach down, tangling my fingers into his hair and crying out loudly.
“God, Jagger, more!”
He sucks my clit into his mouth, and that’s all it takes. I come so hard my body shakes. For a moment, I become dizzy with the overwhelming force of my orgasm. Jagger doesn’t give me long to think about it, he drops my legs, lifts me and presses my body against his, crushing his lips down onto mine. His tongue slides in my mouth and I can taste myself on him. Letting off a feral groan, I wrap my legs around his hips and kiss him so deeply I stop breathing for a moment. When we pull apart, his lips are red, swollen and god he looks so fucking yummy.
“See how fuckin’ much you want me, did you taste that?”
I nod, licking my lips.
“So fuckin’ wet, so fuckin’ ready. Fuck me, Willow, I have missed this. I have missed that tight little cunt. I have missed those beautiful tits. I have missed everything about you.”
“Stop talking and fuck me, Jagger.”
He growls, leaning down to bite my neck. “Greedy, are we?”
I whimper as he moves me, and I can feel his cock pressing against my entrance. I press down, but he’s holding me back.
“Jagger,” I mewl.
“Baby, need to feel this moment…need to feel it for a second longer.”
He closes his eyes and leans his head back on the seat. He’s sitting, and I’m on his lap, legs wrapped around him, fingers tangled in his hair. When he finally begins lowering me over his cock, I feel my whole body break out in shivers. As he stretches, fills, and slides inside me, my whole world stops for a minute and I too, just want to feel this moment. Jagger’s throaty groan brings me back, and when I look at his face, his jaw is so tense.
“I’m so fuckin’….wound up,” he growls. “I want to come so hard already and I’m not even inside you. Fuck, Willow, this won’t…”
“I don’t care,” I say, desperately. “I don’t care.”
I kiss him furiously and move my hips, taking him fully inside me. His strangled groan fills my ears and spurs me on. Suddenly, I don’t care if I come or not, I am just so desperate to hear him come, to feel him pulsing inside me. I rotate my hips, moving my slick heat up and down his length. He almost whimpers and his fingers grip my hips so desperately, I’m sure I’ll bruise. I throw my head back as pleasure begins to shoot through me, I arch my back, pressing my nipples towards his mouth. He leans down, capturing one between his teeth and gently biting it.
“God, Jagger…”
“Come for me, ‘coz I can’t hold on.”
He slides his mouth up and latches onto my neck, sucking and biting as I quicken my pace. I press myself closer to him, removing my hands from his hair and wrapping them around his neck. My release is hanging on the edge, god, I’m so close. Jagger pushes me back gently, and slides a hand between us. He finds my clit and he gently rubs it with his thumb, that is just what I needed. I scream his name as I begin to clench around him.
“Yes, fuck, yes,” he roars.
I feel the first harsh jerk of his cock inside me, and then the next…our moans and cries blend together as we both explode. Jagger pulls me close, burying his head into my shoulder as he lets my orgasm milk the last of his. When our breathing comes down, I pull back and look down at him. He reaches up and strokes a piece of hair away from my eyes.
“I’ll fight,” he rasps. “I will give you back all the fight you gave me. I won’t ever let you go, Willow baby.”
I cup his face, searching it for the truth and I can see it there. I can see everything in his expression. He wants to fight for us. He wants to show me he’s sorry.
“Ok,” I say, softly. “Ok, Jagger.”
“We should get off this road,” he says, giving me that gorgeous half grin.
“Yeah,” I giggle softly. “We should.”
C
HAPTER 8
WILLOW
When we get back to the house, we’re both greeted as soon as we walk in the door, by a very excited Cody. Jagger smiles, lifting his son into his arms and holding him close, pressing a kiss to his soft hair. I give a weak smile, and walk into the kitchen. Ace, Jenny, Ava and Angel are all standing around Leila, talking amongst themselves. When they notice me, Ava comes running over and pulls me into her arms. I let some tears leak from my eyes as I hold her, grateful to be standing here. Jenny comes up behind me and wraps her arms around me from there, and we all just hold each other for long, long moments. When I pull back, I am hurled into a pair of hard arms, and I realize now Ace has hold of me.
“Fuckin’ scared me kid,” he murmurs into my hair.
“God Willow, we were so terrified,” Jenny breathes.
“Don’t you ever do that to us again,” Ava says, then pulls me from Ace’s arms and hugs me again.
When I am finally done with the hugs, I reach down and pull my baby girl up and into my grips. I breathe in her hair, kiss her soft cheeks and take a moment to be thankful for my children. Jagger comes up behind me, wrapping his big arms around my body and pressing his face into my neck. I can feel Cody tugging on my hair, so assume he’s still in Jagger’s arms. For a long while, we stand there, as a family, just appreciating what we’ve got and what we almost didn’t have. When we all pull apart, I turn to the group of people so happy to see me ok. It’s heartwarming. It’s comforting . It’s Home.
“Where’s Bull, Rusty and Summer?” I ask.
“Rusty is downstairs. Bull and Summer went out,” Ace informs me.
I raise my brows. “Oh?”
“Long story, you girl, need a shower.”
I give him a weak smile. “You know, that’s a good idea, I might just do that.”
I kiss Leila’s cheeks some more, then I swap with Jagger and take Cody into my arms, kissing and tickling him until he’s giggling. I relish in the happy sound.
“I’ll put them to bed, then I’ll come and see you, ok?” Jagger says to me, his eyes firmly locked on mine.
I hand Cody over, and nod. “Ok.”
Dark Destiny (Dark Brothers Book #4) Page 9