To Follow Her Heart

by Rebecca DeMarino

  Patience wiped her hands on her apron. “It depends on what you mean by calling. If you mean he is courting me—and I do think ’tis what you are inferring—no. He has become a friend to me, in a time when I need a friend like him.”

  Mary stood in front of her and took her hands. “We are your friends. What do you mean? You have friends.”

  “Oh yes, I do not mean you aren’t. Don’t be hurt.” She leaned into Mary to hug her, then turned and gave Lizzie a hug, as well. “I love you both.”

  Lizzie put her hands on her hips. There were giggles in her violet eyes, however. “What do you mean, then, pray tell?”

  “Oh, he has helped me with things—like when my cellar door went off its frame, he fixed it. He does things like that for me. Like . . . like Jeremy did when he was here.” There, she’d said his name, and it did not even hurt. Much. “But if you are wondering if we have romantic feelings for each other, we do not. We are friends.” Her eyes stung.

  Mary shook her head. “Anna told me that Benjamin says that Joshua has a sweet spot for you.”

  Patience stared at the floor, afraid her eyes could give her away. “That might be true, but it does not mean we are more than friends.”

  “Well, perhaps that shall change for you. Because it would be lovely to see you happy again.” Mary swept back a tendril of hair that fell across her forehead.

  Lizzie nodded. “We both want you to be happy.”

  “I’m trying to be. I shan’t be, though, if we talk of Jeremy. Or love.”

  Mary brightened. “Why not take our pies over to the meetinghouse? It shall be less to carry tomorrow.”

  Abbey took off her apron and used it to dust flour from the table. “Wait for me and I’ll help you.”

  They pulled on cloaks, and each carried two pies. Mosh got up from his nap and followed them. It was cold and crisp outside, and they laughed at how this morning the warmth of the kitchen felt good and now, after a full day of working next to the oven, the chilly air was refreshing.

  It took only a few minutes to leave their pies. Back out on the road, they said good night to one another and went their separate ways. Before Mary got far, she called back, “Look at that moon.”

  All four gazed at the big, white full moon.

  “’Tis beautiful, is it not?” Mary asked. “A sugar cake moon. That’s what our mother used to call it, right, Lizzie?”

  “Yes, she did.”

  They watched until they shivered from the cold, and then each hurried home.

  Patience stopped and picked up a piece of paper that lay tucked in the doorjamb. Mosh followed her in, and the sugary smell of beans greeted them. “It makes me hungry.” She scratched his ears. “You, too? We must save the beans. Let’s see what we have.”

  She set the note on the table and lit the candle. She pulled the beans from the oven and then put a plate of meat down for Mosh. She decided she wasn’t really hungry herself. Most likely, she’d eaten too many apple slices intended for the pies. She sat down to read the note.

  Dear Patience,

  I stopped by to ask if you’d like to ride out to Winter Harbor on Monday. Harry says it has been some time since you came for a visit, and it would be my pleasure to take you. You can tell me in the morning after the service. I look forward to seeing you at the supper.

  Your faithful friend,

  Joshua Hobart

  She held the note to her chest. She hadn’t been out to see Harry since Lizzie and Mary had taken the curtains and bedclothes out. They’d told her it looked absolutely breathtaking. Benjamin was back home now, and Anna was thrilled. Even Mary seemed happier with him back in Southold.

  Mosh came over and laid his head on her lap. She scratched his furry ears. “What do you think, Mosh? Do you want to go see Harry?” He wagged his tail. “Ah yes, I should have known. Well, perhaps I do, too. I’m ready to see The Annabelle.”

  She carried the candle up the stairs, her dog right behind her. She slipped from her dress into a night shift and climbed under the covers. She tossed and turned, trying to keep her mind from Jeremy. She’d go with Joshua to see the ship. It would be good to see old Harry again. She knew he probably wondered why she did not come.

  After Joshua’s well-received sermon, Patience thanked him for it and told him, yes, she would be pleased if he’d take her out to see Harry.

  He sat with her and the Hortons and Fannings during the church supper, and she let herself be amused by Lizzie and Mary’s questions to him and their curiosity. It was either be amused or cry. Clearly they were going to get to the bottom of why Joshua was preaching so often and if it had any connection to Miss Patience Terry. When he mentioned he’d be taking her for a ride to Winter Harbor, they looked rather pointedly at her.

  “I want to see the ship and your beautiful bedclothes, Lizzie. Reverend Hobart is gracious enough to take me.” She looked at Joshua. “Thank you for that.”

  “You are most welcome. Shall I pick you up early? Say nine o’clock?”

  “That would be lovely. We can have dinner at Mrs. Sweeney’s and still be home early.”

  Mary and Lizzie smiled sweetly at her, and she gave them a meaningful look in return. They apparently knew what she meant because they said nothing more.

  After the last sermon of the day, she walked home to Mosh and went upstairs. Sleep would not come. She slid to her knees and turned toward her bed. Hands folded and eyes closed, she prayed. Lord, please show me the way through this. Show me Thy path and give me the strength to follow. Amen.

  38

  October 23, 1665

  She heard Chester out front and called for Mosh. A moment later, Joshua knocked. She picked up her red cloak, grabbed a bag of leftover ginger cakes, and hurried to the door, opening it wide. Joshua took the bag with one hand and held up her wrap with the other. “Let me help you with that.”

  Chester pawed the ground, and Mosh ran over to sniff a greeting before leaping into the wagon. Soon they were on their way. Joshua was talkative, bantering about his sermon, his life on Barbados, and how he was hopeful of finding a church out near Flushing. Barbados had lost its appeal when his wife had died. “Not to change the subject, but Harry has missed you quite a bit.”

  She looked at him for a long moment. “I think he misses Jeremy, and when he sees me, he feels closer to him. And there’s the folly.”

  Joshua cocked his head to the side while keeping his eyes on the road. “No. I do think he misses you. No need to bring Jeremy into it, unless of course you want to. But I hope you shall just enjoy the day and visit with Harry. And The Annabelle. You will not believe your eyes. She is magnificent.”

  “Truly?”

  “Yes, truly. I won’t tell you more, because I do not want to give it away.” When she laughed, he looked at her and smiled. “I like it when you laugh.”

  She smiled back at him and then turned to watch the foliage fly by. She enjoyed his company, and he was a gentleman. He had a sweet spot for her, no doubt, but he did not impose it on her. Well, at least not anymore. He was a good friend, and she was thankful for him.

  Harry was standing out in the road as they pulled up, as if he’d been waiting all morning. “Did you know we were coming, Harry?” she asked as he helped her down.

  “Nay, I did not. I just heard the clatter and came to see what it was. I cannot tell ye how good it does my soul to see ye. Where have ye been?” Mosh jumped down and wiggled up to him. “No, not ye. Her.” He patted the dog on the head and nodded toward Patience.

  She looked out at the dock, glistening from the seamist. She breathed in the salt air and could taste it on her lips. The sadness of her last visit was gone. “I’ve missed you, Harry. But for a while, I couldn’t come. But I’m better now, and I’d like to see The Annabelle. Lizzie and Mary have told me much about her, and I had to see for myself.”

  “Bless ye. Let’s go look.”

  They started toward the ship, and Patience looked back over her shoulder to see that Joshua hung ba
ck. “Are you coming with us?”

  “I think I will go keep Mrs. Sweeney company.” He turned with the dog on his heels.

  “Mosh is following you. He knows where he can get food.” She laughed as she watched them go.

  Harry was quiet. She followed him up the plank as she eyed the gleaming sides. The ship looked too pretty to put in the water. “This is nice, Harry.”

  He nodded with a smile, watching her intently. The sparkle in his eye gave him away, and she knew he caught every shade of her reaction. They walked along the main deck, past the forecastle, to the bow. She admired the linen cloth of the headsails tied to the bowsprit, ready to be raised. He led her around to view all three ramrod-straight masts. When they came to the mizzen mast on the aft side of the ship, they climbed down the steps to the galley below.

  She gasped when she saw the ovens. There were two, side by side. Their walls and floors were made of brick, and each had a large copper caldron set into the top to boil fish and meat. He showed her the barrels that stored ship biscuits, fresh water, and salted pork and beef. There was a bunk in the back for the cook.

  “Harry, this kitchen is grand. Fit for a queen.” She smiled as she took in every detail.

  “Aye, ’tis that. A queen of hearts, would ye not say?”

  “Oh, I should say so.” She followed him back up the steps as they climbed to the quarterdeck. The fresh scent of new wood tickled her nose with each step. “I’ve never had a love for ships, Harry, but this is one I could love.” Jeremy’s sweat was in this ship, but she was thankful Harry did not mention him.

  He chuckled, his wooden leg pounding the white oak floor as he trudged down the deck to the cabins. “I imagine ye would like to see what Mrs. Fanning sewed for me.”

  “Lizzie? Yes, very much.”

  He paused before an ornate wooden door, and his merry blue eyes danced above his round cheeks. “This is the master cabin.” He pushed the door open.

  She stepped in and ran to the middle of the room. Gold damask curtains hung from the window. Matching bolsters and bedcovers adorned the massive four-poster bed. “This is exquisite.” She held her breath and twirled around, taking in the beautiful reddish-brown mahogany walls and the furniture Benjamin had crafted.

  A sandglass and sundial were displayed on the desk. She ran her finger over the mirrored lid of the dial, and he removed it to show her the inside. “This one has a compass set inside.”

  “Beautiful, Harry. ’Tis true what Mary and Lizzie said. The Annabelle is magnificent.”

  “Ye haven’t seen all of her.”

  “Do you mean the hold? I came across from England in a hold, and I shan’t care if I ever see another.” She peered into his face. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings. “I mean, I could go see it if you’d like.”

  Harry’s smile spread across his face. “Nay, I would not do that to ye. Come, follow me.” He thumped his way out, and they crossed to a second cabin with a carved door. He threw the door open and stepped back for her to enter.

  Her eyes flew wide, and she brought her hand to her mouth. “Oh! Look at this. Why, ’tis just like the other.” She turned to him. “Why would you have two master cabins?”

  He chuckled and tossed his head from side to side. “Ye never know when ye might need a second one. Come. Is it too cold for ye to sit with me a while on the old trunk?”

  “If you’d like to, then no, ’tis not too cold.” She followed him out and pulled her red cloak tight against the chill as they walked down off the ship. It was slippery on the dock, but they made it to the trunk and sat. She waited for Harry to speak.

  “I had a dream when Jeremy and me were working on this ship. I never shared it with him.”

  She looked at him for a moment, puzzled. “You didn’t? Why?”

  “Oh, I hinted. But I knew he would tell me no.” He stared out into the water reflecting the gray light of the sky. “I thought my sailing days were through when I lost my family, then my leg.” She put her hand on his arm. “And I began having a notion Jeremy would sail in and talk of working with me someday. I began to dream of building this ship.” He shook his head and paused.

  “And look at that. You did it.”

  “Aye, we did it. But I wanted him to sail it for me, and I never told him that.”

  She blinked away the tears in her eyes. Slowly, his meaning became clear. “And he left before you could.”

  “Ah, well, aye, he did. And he needed to, mind ye. He was called to.”

  Her tears tumbled.

  “But I put two cabins in—one for me. And I hoped he’d be my captain and he’d bring ye with him.” His head bobbed, and she hoped he would not cry, too.

  “Harry, Harry. Did he ever tell you he thought you could sail her? He told me.”

  “He did. We used to sit on this trunk, and he’d say, ‘Harry, what are ye going to do when we’re finished? Sail this boat, because ye could, ye know.’” He patted his wooden leg. “He didn’t think this should stop me.”

  She blinked away her tears. “It shouldn’t. You can do this, Harry. You can sail your ship.”

  He straightened and looked her in the eye. “Ye believe that?”

  “Yes, I do.” She reached over and hugged him. “What is more, I think you should. She’s beautiful, and you should be the one to sail her.”

  “Well, I’ve got me a crew.” He began to add something, but stopped. “Ye are hungry, are ye not? We should go get some of Mrs. Sweeney’s fish before she sells out.” He hesitated a moment. “But first I must tell ye I prayed ye’d come today. I need to ask ye something I couldn’t ask Jeremy.”

  She froze.

  “Sail with me to England.” His eyes pleaded.

  Tears threatened again. “I could not.”

  “Are ye not the one who just said, ‘You can do this, Harry’? Then so can ye. Is it Jeremy? Because he loves ye. Go to him, Patience. He is yer North Star.”

  “Oh no. No, I cannot. You don’t understand. ’Tis not only Jeremy. I fear being on the water so much. When I was a girl and we came across on The Swallow—it was horrible. But even then I did not understand the dangers. And over the years, so many people have lost their lives. I cannot bring myself to sail again.” She was sobbing now, so sorry she was to say no to Harry. Why was Jeremy not here to say yes? “I’m sorry, Harry.” She stood.

  He rose and offered her his arm. She took it, and he patted her hand as they walked toward the smell of fish frying.

  Joshua smiled as they approached the table. Mosh raised his head from his spot near the hearth, but only for a moment before he went back to sleep.

  “Beautiful ship, isn’t she?” Joshua said.

  Patience sat next to him. “Oh yes.”

  He did not say a word about how long they’d been gone. Harry was quiet during their meal. Even Mrs. Sweeney seemed a bit serious. But her fish was superb.

  After their meal, the trio took a long walk on the wharf with Mosh running ahead and then dashing back. They could see a storm coming in from the west, and Joshua said he should get her home before it hit. She hugged Harry goodbye. She hoped he would come to understand the things she’d told him out on the old trunk.

  When they were on their way, Joshua glanced at her. “Did you have a good visit?”

  She turned to look at him. “I did. Harry is a special man. I think you were right. He was happy to see me. I’m glad you took me—thank you.”

  He nodded. “You’re welcome. I enjoyed the outing, too. Shall I take you to your house, or shall we drop off Chester at the livery and walk back?”

  “Let’s walk from the livery. I’d enjoy that.”

  They returned Chester and the wagon, and when they reached her house, Joshua offered to bring in some wood for the hearth, and they sat to watch the fire take hold.

  He stood. “I should go now, Patience. Thank you for a wonderful day.”

  She followed him to the door. He took her hand in his and kissed it. She squeezed his hand before he rel
eased hers. “No, thank you for taking me to see Harry. I think you knew we both needed to see each other. That was very kind of you.”

  “It was my pleasure.” He disappeared up the walk.

  She went back to the fire and sat to think again about Harry. He had said something she longed to be true. Was Jeremy her North Star? She would never find out. Because she could never get on that ship.

  39

  October 28, 1665

  In the early morning, Patience worked in the fields with Mary and Lizzie, bringing in the last of the pumpkins. She ran her sleeve over her damp brow and shared a few tears with her friends as Mary remembered the years Winnie and Heather Flower had worked alongside them. For the youngest Horton girls, running and merriment took precedence over picking pumpkins, and Mosh did his part by keeping up with the girls.

  Excitement for Southold’s Saturday market rustled through the townspeople like wind in the willows. It would open on the village green later that morning and was expected to be the largest one the town had ever had. But they’d not anticipated the scorching summer, and it was a scanty harvest. Still, there was much to do, with games and performances a part of the festivities. And the cooler weather was favorable for a celebration, so the festival continued as planned.

  Barnabas and his sons were already down on the green with Zeke, Johnny Youngs, and Joshua Hobart, setting up tables for the ladies and special games for everybody, young and old.

  Mary would bring her apple pies and Barnabas’s ginger cakes. Lizzie would have a table for her hats. School had not resumed yet, but Patience had asked her young students if they would bring their samplers from last year and recite some of the rhymes they had learned. Mercy could not wait and sang every song they had learned last year at the top of her lungs in the pumpkin field.

  Patience filled her apron with small pumpkins, and Mary and Lizzie each wrapped their arms around big fat ones. They trod over to the wagon with their loads. Patience wiped her forehead with her sleeve. “I cannot believe I have sweat on my brow. ’Tis like a little summer today.”