He just sat there.
After a few moments of silence, she said. “You may leave now.” Take a hint, asshole.
“I’m not going anywhere. You didn’t answer all of my questions, so you might as well close the doors and come back here. On second thought, you might want to keep the doors open so you can listen for her.”
“I had an intercom system installed in every room of the house, and I always keep it on. I assure you, she’s not neglected.” With a huff of frustration she waved her hand in the air.
“Fine.” She stomped over to her desk chair and plopped down hard.
“Shoot. Let’s get this over with.” Her arms crossed tightly over her chest, she crossed her legs and bobbed her foot.
“When is her birthday?” She wanted to slap that smug look off his face.
“January 15 of this year.”
“Who else knows I’m the father?”
“Bryn, Tim, Jarred, and you. Me, of course. That’s it. What’s the matter, afraid it’ll ruin your playboy image to be a daddy?” She couldn’t resist the dig and didn’t see the need to do so.
“How long do you think it will take you to get over your anger towards me?”
She glanced up at the ceiling as if deep in thought. “A lifetime, plus some.”
“Perfect, just the amount of time I plan on spending with you and Lillyanna.”
She slapped her hands down on her desk. “Please, tell me you’re kidding. You seriously think…” He held up his hand in the air to stop her mid-sentence.
“Here’s what I know. I plan on being a part of my daughter’s life on a regular basis, for the rest of my life. That also includes you, indirectly, of course. I was an idiot about a lot of things over the past year, but I refuse to compound it by leaving either of you again. That would be the ultimate stupidity.” If the shoe fits…
“What makes you think we want you in our lives?”
“Exactly the point. When Lillyanna is old enough to make her own decisions, and she tells me to my face that she doesn’t want to ever see me again, that’s when I’ll believe it, and not a second before. Furthermore, I expect you to not speak badly about me to her until then. If you do, you’d just be putting her in the middle of our problems. I think you love her too much to do that to her. Besides, eventually she would ask about me and where I was.”
“I planned on telling her you were dead.” She smiled what she hoped was an evil smile. Her chin resting on her clasped, raised hands.
“Change of plans. I’m here, and I’m staying. Deal with it.”
A challenge? You’re on! She nodded. “I’ve dealt with a lot more than this, I’m sure I can handle you.”
She nodded. “I’ve dealt with a lot more than this, I’m sure I can handle you.”
“Great, then we’re in agreement. I’ll be back first thing in the morning with my things. I’ll take one of the upstairs spare bedrooms. You won’t even know I’m here.”
“Are you telling me you plan on living here? Because if you think that, you’ve got another think coming. This is my home and I decide who lives here and who doesn’t.”
“Listen, I have a lot of time to make up here, and I don’t want to be treated like a stranger. I don’t want to have to visit. I want to be a part of her life. Twenty four/seven. I can’t do that if I don’t live here.”
“That’s not my fault, and I won’t allow you to make it my problem.” The nerve of this bastard! She stood and leaned toward him before speaking.
“I’ll think about it and get back to you.” She wouldn’t allow him to bully her into a snap decision. The phrase, ‘over my dead body’ kept popping to mind.
“Fair enough.” He nodded his head. “What time can I come back tomorrow?”
She turned to her computer and pretended to look up her schedule. “Looks like the morning, maybe nine o’clock, would be best.”
“I’ll be here.” He stood and walked out the door without another word.
After taking a few deep, calming breaths and letting each out slowly, she took a few moments to think about things. If his past behavior was anything to go by, she knew it wouldn’t take long for him to get scared and run away again. Anytime he got uncomfortable with his feelings he took a hike, this wouldn’t be any different. In fact, it might even get rid of him faster in the long run. She supposed she could play house for a month or two until he was gone. How hard could it be?
She was proud of herself for the way she’d restrained herself from doing any physical violence. The problem now, was that her life was going to change…again. Riding the rollercoaster of life was making her a little nauseous.
********
Ryker was determined to woo both RayeAnn and his daughter. Granted, the daughter would be the easiest. His arms were full of gifts for them, flowers for RayeAnn, a bigger than life Winnie the Pooh stuffed toy for Lilly, and breakfast from the local bakery for both adults. Maybe it was a little overkill, but he didn’t care. He pressed the doorbell with his elbow and waited for Rat to answer. His gut churned with both hunger and anticipation. RayeAnn opened the door and he bit back a gasp. She looked like hell. Her flannel pajama top was mis-buttoned, her hair splayed wildly around her head, and dark circles hung under her eyes. Immediately he was alarmed.
“Is Lilly all right?” He heard the panic in his voice and took a deep, calming breath and let it out.
“Yeah, she’s great. Why?” She took a sip of coffee from the mug in her hand as she stepped back to let him enter.
“I just thought…um…you look…tired. Here, I got you these and I brought us breakfast.” He flashed a big, wide smile that he hoped would hide his embarrassment. Without another word, he thrust the flowers at her.
“Thanks, but you shouldn’t have.” She didn’t smile when she said it, either. He cringed a little when she tossed the flowers onto a nearby table like they were trash. “Lilly’s sleeping right now, but she should be up soon. There’s fresh coffee in the pot, help yourself. I’m going upstairs and take a quick shower.” She headed up the steps while she continued to sip on her coffee.
Well that wasn’t the reception he’d expected. Maybe he needed to adjust his expectations down a few notches. All right, a lot of notches. This might end-up being a little harder than he’d first thought.
Last night as he lay in bed, he had resolved not to let her anger get to him. She had a right to be angry, and he needed to suck it up and take it like a man. He was pretty pissed at himself, too. Both Tim and Bryn had given him the stink eye all night, and answered his questions with angry grunts. The only person happy to see him was his mother, and that was only because he hadn’t told her about Lillyanna yet. He decided to wait a while before springing the news on her. He knew she would be thrilled about the baby, but disappointed in his behavior. Right now he needed at least one person on his side, even if she didn’t know all the facts. He smiled when he heard the baby cooing, and b-lined it for her crib.
She was looking up at him, her arm and legs wiggling wildly at the sight of him. Her breath came in happy little pants of excitement. His heart squeezed tightly in his chest.
“Good morning, my love. How’s daddy’s little lady this morning?” That’s when the stink hit him. He turned his head away and took a deep breath before turning back to her and smiling.
“Smells like someone has a little present in her diaper.” His eyes began to tear as the odor stung his nostrils. “Don’t worry, daddy will fix it.” He picked her up and placed her on the changing table.
“Did you have a nice sleep?” She cooed at him and grabbed her toes, her toothless, happy grin smiled up at him. “Who’s daddy’s little angel? Lilly!” He worked on her diaper like he’d been doing it all his life.
“When did you learn how to change a diaper?” RayeAnn asked from beside him, smiling down at their daughter.
“I Googled it.” He flashed RayeAnn a large smile. Although he could see she tried to fight it, the smile on her face finally won out. �
�You look a lot better. Did you have a rough night?”
“I worked late last night. I would’ve been on schedule, but I had unexpected company yesterday, and it put me way behind.” She took a sip of her coffee, then set her mug on the table next to the rocking chair.
“Really? What a bastard.” He chuckled, knowing full well it was his visit she was referring to. He inhaled deeply and took in RayeAnn’s fresh, Lily of the Valley, scent. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed her smell.
“I need to feed Lilly before her bath. We have a routine that I don’t want to disrupt, or we’ll have hell to pay. For all the talk I’d heard before she was born about the importance of putting the baby on a schedule, I know now that the reality is, the baby puts you on a schedule. I thought you could help out for a morning, or so, until you learn her routine.” The whole time she spoke she maintained eye contact with him. When he glanced down, Lilly was already sucking enthusiastically on her breast.
“Wow, she seems to have a healthy appetite.” He moved over to watch mother and daughter interact. RayeAnn looked down at the baby and smiled. Lilly’s chubby little fist resting on her mother’s breast, while slurping and smacking sounds filled the room. Ryker closed his eyes and tried to commit the entire scene to memory. When he opened his eyes again it was to the sound of a large belch from Lilly.
“I can’t believe that our sweet little daughter can belch like a sailor.” He held his arms out to RayeAnn, while she handed him the baby. When he bent back a little and held her over his head, she spit-up some of her breakfast right on Ryker’s face. He heard RayeAnn’s laugh as he spit what had landed in his mouth out into a trash can.
“Yuk! That’s nasty.” RayeAnn laughed even harder, holding her sides and bending over. “I’m glad you think it’s funny.” He looked at Lilly and saw the toothless smile on her lips. “Yeah, you too.” He poked his finger gently into her full tummy, and tickled her lightly.
“Lesson number one, never hold the baby over your head right after a feeding.” RayeAnn huffed out between giggles.
“Got it, thanks. Are we ready for the bath part of our day?” RayeAnn nodded and moved past him toward the bathroom.
“Follow me. I’ve got the bath all set up in the downstairs bathtub. You can watch today, but I’ll warn you right now, once you get her clothes off, she turns into a wild woman.” Before he thought about it, his response shot out of his mouth.
“Just like her mother.” Did he really just say that? Not the way to win over a woman like RayeAnn, and the angry glance she gave him made him cringe.
“Sorry, but I meant it in a good way…you know…about the. I’ll just shut up now.”
“Good plan.” He heard her mumble.
RayeAnn hadn’t been kidding about Lilly, she splashed and cooed so much in the water, it was hard to wash her. Ryker stood over them and snapped pictures of bath time with his phone. He had all kinds of plans for the pics, intending to make screen savers, key chains, magnets. Mostly he wanted to make a coffee mug for RayeAnn with Lillyanna’s picture on it as a gift. It was probably corny, but he was just so damn proud of his daughter.
By the time Lilly was dressed again, her hair wet but still wild, the only one dry was the baby. He and RayeAnn were soaked to the skin from all her splashing, and he thanked God. He couldn’t be happier.
He held Lilly while she yawned and rubbed her ears. He kissed her over and over on her chubby little cheeks until she started to fuss.
“Ryker, time for Lilly’s nap. Why don’t you rock her to sleep and come into the library once you’ve got her settled.” She gathered all the dirty laundry from the bathroom floor before adding, “I’ll meet you in the library in a few minutes.”
Uh,oh, time for more ‘talk’.
********
After two weeks of coming and going every day, Ryker stood on the porch and waited for RayeAnn to answer his knock. He listened as Lilly cried loudly. That was strange, RayeAnn would never let her cry this long. His stomach sank as sensed something was terribly wrong.
His heart pounded in his chest while he beat his fist on the door. “RAYEANN, ANSWER THE DAMN DOOR!”
No response. Shit, now what?
He went around the house to the back door and peered into the window. Lilly escalated the cry to a screaming wail. His stomach clinched painfully. With his bent elbow he broke the glass on the door, then reached inside and unlocked it. In a panic he raced to Lily and RayeAnn.
He found RayeAnn on the floor, glassy eyed and crawling toward Lily. Her arm was outstretched and reaching for Lilly. When she saw Ryker he heard her utter a weak, “thank God” and her head dropped to the floor. For a moment he was torn, who should he go to first? Lilly was safe, just pissed. RayeAnn needed the attention more.
He felt RayeAnn’s forehead and it was burning hot. Her eyelids barely fluttered with the contact. He scooped her into his arms and laid her gently on the bed. He had to get that fever down, fast. With his fingers flying he stripped her damp, clinging pajamas off of her body.
He tapped her face with his fingers. “Raye, where do you keep the aspirin?”
Her arm flopped once toward the nearest bathroom and he took off running. Within a minute he was back and shoving two pills into her mouth while ordering her to swallow. After she did as directed she lay there with her eyes closed and her face flushed with fever.
He moved over to Lilly, who was now in a full-blown temper tantrum. Ryker picked her up and consoled her until her breathing returned to normal. Poor baby. He knew she was hungry but wasn’t sure what to do about it, RayeAnn was in no condition to nurse.
“RayeAnn, what should I feed her?” Her glassy eyes looked confused for a moment before she answered.
“I pumped my breast last night and made some bottles. They’re in the fridge.” She struggled to get the words out. “Boil some water in a pot on the stove and heat the bottle…make sure to check the temperature before you give it to her. I’m sorry, I can’t…” She struggled to try and sit up, but fell back immediately.
“Hey, just rest. I’ll take care of everything.” Sitting on the edge of the bed he held Lilly in one arm and smoothed the wet hair off RayeAnn’s face. She felt a little cooler. All right, things were looking up.
With Lilly in his arms he rushed around the kitchen and started heating her bottle. While the bottle heated he took Lilly back into her room and changed her diaper. When he glanced over, RayeAnn looked like death warmed over.
“Well, my little lady, looks like today is going to be a busy day for us. Mommy needs to be taken care of, so don’t give her too much trouble. We’ll do it together…all right?” A toothless smile answered his question.
When he glanced over to RayeAnn she was sound asleep and curled into a tight, naked ball. He picked up Lilly and moved over to the bed and covered RayeAnn with blankets. Her body seemed to be cooling down nicely. Thank God he had found her. His heart lurched as he watched her sleep for a moment before Lilly let out a little yelp of hunger, sucking her fist but getting nowhere.
“All right, lets go get your bottle.” He tested the temperature and popped it into her mouth before reaching the rocking chair. The little gulping sounds she made were adorable.
Ryker was proud of the way he’d handled everything. RayeAnn was sleeping soundly and felt much cooler. Lilly gulped the whole bottle, burped, and fell asleep immediately. His world was coming back into order, and he sighed with relief.
All of this could have been avoided if RayeAnn would just let him move in. He vowed to press the issue as soon as RayeAnn was feeling better. As far as he was concerned he’d passed the test period with flying colors.
CHAPTER 18
After lying in bed tossing and turning most of the night, RayeAnn had reached a decision. She would allow Ryker to move in, even though she dreaded the thought. It all boiled down to her wanting Lillyanna to know her father, no matter how uncomfortable for her. She wouldn’t stand in the way, because she knew this was the right t
hing to do.
She sat at her desk, laced her fingers together, and waited for Ryker to join her. Once he had settled into a chair across from her he took a sip from his mug of coffee and waited. She began the meeting, making sure he knew she thought of the situation as strictly a business arrangement.
Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she let it out slowly and began. “All right. You win. You can move in tomorrow.”
For a moment he was stunned into silence. He’d never expected her to agree to his terms. When a rush of heat spread through his body, he hoped she didn’t see the surprise on his face. Hell, he had been bluffing the whole time about the living arrangements. A smile crept over his face. This might just have been a stroke of genius on his part. What better way to get access to both RayeAnn and Lillianna at the same time? He really did want to establish a relationship with his daughter. He was excited now at the prospect of seeing her any time he wanted and really getting to know her. To have both of them learn to trust him was a daunting though not distasteful prospect.
“Until I can get the spare key made, why don’t you just use Bryn’s key. I’ll call her and make sure she knows it’s all right. If the baby’s still sleeping when you get here tomorrow you won’t have to wake her by ringing the bell. You can use the room you used last time you stayed here.”
That reassured him a little, so he nodded. This was going to be interesting, to say the least.
“Great! Since she’s sleeping right now, I’ll just run back home and pack my things. Oh, wait, you said tomorrow, didn’t you? Are you really going to make me wait? Can’t I just come back tonight and get it over with?”
“I have plans for tonight, so you have no choice but to wait. I’m sure one more night away won’t kill you.”
“True, but if I have a key I can just let myself in. Simple.” He brushed his hands together as if brushing off a speck of dirt.
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