My heart’s broken, Roger, and I’m angry with you. I don’t understand how you could so easily turn your back on all that we had. I don’t think you’ll ever know how much hurt you caused by telling me I wasn’t good enough to be your wife. How dare you! I pray God will forgive me for my anger, I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help how I feel.
I beg you to reconsider. Don’t throw everything away just because you’ve come into money.
That’s all I have to say. I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again, Roger. I don’t know I could bare it. I can’t believe it’s come to this.
Your heart broken ex-fiancee,
Hilary
Lizzy’s mouth fell open and her heart beat faster. She re-read the letter, and then looked more closely at the photographs of the woman. No, it couldn’t be. But it was. It was Hilary Carter. Lizzy bit her lip and her skin tingled. Her father had been engaged to Mathew’s mother.
Gwyneth glanced up at that moment and Lizzy caught her eye. Did her mother know about this? It was too much to take in. Lizzy’s mind raced. Surely Hilary Carter must have recognised her the moment she’d walked in her door all those years ago. The daughter of the man who’d jilted her. Why hadn’t she said anything? Oh goodness. This is major.
“Are you alright, dear? You look a little off colour”.
Lizzy took a deep breath. Her eyes were wide open and she was having trouble controlling her thoughts. She gulped and took another deep breath. “I’ve just discovered something that threw me a little.”
Gwyneth tilted her head, slightly puzzled. “That’s your father’s album. I haven’t looked at it in years.” She drew her eyebrows together. “What did you find?”
Lizzy hesitated. Should she tell her mother? Her heart beat faster as she thought about what to say.
She had to say something. Best just get it out. Lizzy took yet another deep breath and lifted her eyes to meet her mother’s. “That he was engaged to someone else.” She waited for her mother’s reaction.
Gwyneth put her book down and sighed, closing her eyes for a brief moment before opening them and looking at Lizzy.
“It all happened before I met your father. He told me he’d been engaged to a girl he’d met at church, but that it all fell apart when he inherited and moved in here. Apparently she didn’t want to live here.” That’s not what the letter said….
Gwyneth’s eyes had a distant look.
“I always felt he still loved her, and that he’d only asked me to marry him to save face.” She looked back at Lizzy. “That’s why I asked if you loved Daniel when you married him. I’m glad you said you did. At least there’s hope for you.”
Lizzy stood and put her arms around Gwyneth’s shoulders. “Oh Mother. I’m sure he loves you. He can’t still be pining after her all these years.”
Gwyneth pursed her lips together and shrugged.
“I’m not sure. I feel like I’ve been living in her shadow all our married life. I never met her, but he compared me with her all the time when we were first married. Why they broke up is beyond me. He obviously still loved the woman.”
“That must have been so difficult for you, Mother. How unfair of Father!”
Lizzy’s heart fell. Was that how she was with Daniel and Mathew? She’d never said it out loud, but she’d thought it plenty. How often had Daniel noticed?
“Do you know who the woman was, Mother?” Lizzy gulped. Did she really want to have her suspicions confirmed?
Gwyneth reached for the album and studied the photos before lifting her head.
“A girl he met at church. Hilary. That’s all I know.” Gwyneth’s eyes glistened and her voice wavered. “She must have been an amazing person, though, the way he talked about her.”
It must be true. Too unlikely there was another Hilary. The woman must be Mathew’s mother. This was too much to take in. Lizzy’s heart pounded in her chest. Finally, she found her voice.
“Very strange they broke up, then.”
Gwyneth sat straighter and took control of herself. “Yes, I always wondered if there was more to it than he told me. He asked me to go out with him soon after. I really think it was to make her jealous and to save face, but I think he loved her so much she almost became saintlike in his mind. But then he slowly hardened into the man he is today.”
Lizzy sat beside Gwyneth and looked at her. “I think the woman is Mathew’s mother. Hilary Carter.”
Gwyneth’s eyes widened and she tilted her head. “Really? What makes you think that?”
“There were photos of them standing outside Exeter Baptist. I remember Mathew telling me that his mother used to live in Exeter before she married. And it looks like her. She’s very short, and the woman in the photo is short. I’m sure it’s her.” Lizzy’s head spun, loose ends flying everywhere.
“What a small world we live in. Who would have thought?” Gwyneth grabbed a tissue out of her pocket and blew her nose. “I wonder if Mathew knows?”
Lizzy returned to the couch with the album and take another look. “I don’t think so. I’m sure he would have said something if he did.” She looked up, her eyes a little brighter. “Maybe I should ask him.”
Gwyneth looked at her over her glasses. “Do you think that would be wise, dear?”
Lizzy shrugged and closed the album. “I don’t know. But maybe I need to see him anyway to find out the real reason he ended our relationship. I never really believed what he said, and I don’t know I’ll ever be able to move on properly if I don’t know. And I do want to move on, Mother. Especially with the baby coming.” Lizzy sighed deeply. “I just hope and pray Daniel sorts himself.”
Gwyneth smiled at her affectionately. “You really do love him, don’t you?”
Lizzy nodded and lifted her eyes, revealing her answer before she spoke it. “Yes, I do. I do love him, Mother.”
Chapter Seven
Daniel woke with a start. His heart pounded heavily in his chest, and his head spun. Awareness of his whereabouts dawned slowly. Then it all came back. Lizzy’s gone! A wail, full of lament and heartache, rose from deep within his body and escaped in a long, deep moan. Whimpering like a dog that had just been kicked, Daniel curled into the fetal position and hugged a cushion to his chest. If only he could sleep, maybe it would all go away.
Images of Lizzy floated through his mind, tormenting him. Why had he got involved with her in the first place? She was too good for the likes of him. But he loved her. Lizzy was the most beautiful thing to come into his life since he’d lost Ciara and Rachel. And he was going to lose her too. He imagined holding her, kissing her, making love to her. She was doing his head in. He’d never get her back.
Daniel sat and ran his hands through his hair. He licked his lips, but his mouth was dry, and his throat hurt when he breathed. Grabbing the half empty bottle on the floor beside him, he took a mouthful, but winced at the taste of the warm, flat beer. Maybe he should go home. She might still be there. But no. Riley said she’d gone. Riley. That’s right. He was here. Where’s Johnno? He looked around, but the place was empty.
He stood and made his way to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror a few moments later, he jerked his head back, not recognising the face looking back at him. Maybe Johnno had a razor. Opening the bathroom cabinet, he found one, and proceeded to shave off the stubble. If Lizzy happened to be home, he should at least look respectable. Maybe he should shower as well.
Once clean, Daniel wandered into the kitchen to look for food. He opened the cupboards and looked in the fridge. Not much to choose from. Johnno really needs to do some shopping. He found some bread and a toaster, and cooked two slices, which he buttered and smothered in jam. There was only beer to drink, so he took one and opened it.
He cleared a space at the table and sat down to eat, but couldn’t stomach it. The beer helped, so Daniel tipped the toast in the bin, and took the beer to the living room and flicked on the television. Just reruns of the Royal Wedding and a Faulty Towers episode. He left it on Faulty
Towers.
What day was it? He rubbed his hair and tried to remember all that had happened since he’d stormed out of the apartment.
He stood and turned the television off. Now, where are the keys? He felt in his pocket. Yes, they were there. Daniel grabbed them, opened the front door and walked outside. Lucky it was still warm, because he didn’t have a jacket.
Relieved the car was where he’d left it, he unlocked it and climbed in. His head was still spinning, so he sat for a few moments to steady himself. Then he turned the key and started the engine.
At the apartment, Daniel tentatively opened the door, hoping she’d be there waiting for him, but the emptiness that met him revealed that not only had she left, she'd also taken a lot of her things. A heart wrenching ache settled deep inside of him and almost tore him apart.
Her words came back to him as he pictured her sitting opposite him at the table. ‘You need to sort yourself out, Daniel. I’m going away for a while.’ He swayed and reached for the wall before slumping onto the couch.
“Lizzy, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He thumped the couch and buried his head in the cushions, moaning like an injured animal. Her smell was all around him. On the rug, on the couch, in the cushions. Tears welled in his eyes. “Lizzy, where are you?”
He couldn’t stay here, not without her. He sat and composed himself. His gaze travelled slowly around the room before he stood and headed to the door.
Chapter Eight
Lizzy’s body ached and she longed for sleep, but her mind wouldn’t rest. About midnight she gave up trying and climbed out of bed. Wrapped in one of her mother’s dressing gowns, she tiptoed downstairs, put the kettle on and made herself a cup of tea, which she took into the main living room. She turned on one of the table lamps and pulled a rug over her knees as she settled against the cushions.
The baby was active, digging her in the ribs and making her uncomfortable. Maybe it sensed something was going on. She’d need to call the hospital in the morning and organise her next check-up. How terrible if something went wrong.
She sipped her tea and her mind drifted. So much had changed in such a short time. Had it only been yesterday she’d been in London? It seemed such a long time ago.
And now she’d found out that Mathew’s mother had been engaged to her father. Her father! It was difficult to imagine them together. She’d have to see Mathew. They had unfinished business. There had to be more to the break up than he’d told her. But what would it really achieve? It wouldn’t do anything to help Daniel, well, maybe it would. Getting Mathew out of her skin once and for all would have to make a difference, surely.
‘Oh God. Please settle my brain and calm my spirit. And this baby…’ Lizzy hugged her stomach and waited for another kick. “Pour your blessings out on this little one, and protect it from harm. And God, please be with Daniel. Let him know I love him, wherever he is.’
Lizzy put her tea down, leaned back on the cushions and closed her eyes.
As Gwyneth walked along the hallway towards the kitchen the following morning, she passed the entrance to the living room and stopped, her eyes drawn to the figure asleep on the lounge. Standing in the doorway, her heart ached for her daughter.
She’d been glad, but surprised, Elizabeth had chosen to come home. She’d need to speak with Roger as soon as he arrived. Maybe she should telephone him at the office. Yes, that would be best. Forewarn him, and plead with him to be understanding, if that was possible.
Gwyneth continued quietly along the hallway so as not to disturb Lizzy. When she reached the kitchen, she smiled at Duchess who jumped off her bed, stretched, and began to rub herself against Gwyneth’s leg. Gwyneth reached down and scratched the cat behind its ear.
The kettle was still slightly warm. Elizabeth must have made herself a drink. Gwyneth reheated it, and once her tea was ready, carried the cup and saucer into the morning room, placing it on the side table beside her Bible.
Gwyneth breathed in the peace and serenity of the early morning and began her quiet time. She poured her heart out to God, and prayed for her family, especially Elizabeth and the unborn baby. She prayed for Daniel, that he’d sort himself out, and that he’d find peace with God. She prayed for their marriage, that they’d be reconciled, and that they’d learn to love and respect each other. And she prayed that somehow, Roger would remember his roots and become that loving, caring man she’d seen in those photos. ‘I know you can do all these things, Lord God. Please bless my family. In Jesus’ precious name.’
Gwyneth looked at the clock on the mantlepiece. Still too early to call. In fact, it’d be best to wait until Roger returned to his office in Taunton later in the afternoon. He wouldn’t appreciate being called at the Bristol office.
She peeked into the living room. Elizabeth was still sleeping. She must have needed it, poor girl. It was Gwyneth’s normal shopping day, but she’d put it off - more important to be here for Elizabeth. She took a coat and a hat off the hook, and opening the door very quietly, went outside to do some gardening.
She wandered around to the rose garden, stopping on the way to inspect the Camellia Sasanqua she’d recently bought at the local nursery. The bush was already covered in soft pink blooms, with even more buds bursting to open. She snipped a couple of the blooms and placed them in her basket. The sun hadn’t quite reached the rose garden. Dew sat heavy on the bushes which were doing their best to defy the change in season. Gwyneth began the never ending task of dead heading. She didn’t mind. It gave her time to think. And pray.
Time disappeared when she was in her garden, and so she was surprised to see Elizabeth standing before her when she lifted her head.
She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, and then took off her gloves. “Elizabeth dear. I hope you had a good sleep.”
Lizzy’s smile lit up her face. “Yes, I feel much better now. Thanks for letting me sleep in, Mother.”
“You must have needed it. I’ll just clean up and I’ll make you some breakfast.”
“Oh, no need, Mother. I can look after myself. I think I can remember where everything is.” Lizzy let out a small chuckle and her eyes glistened.
“Alright then. I’ll come in shortly anyway. It’s just about time for coffee.”
Lizzy stood for a moment taking in the beauty of the garden. Sadness took hold of her heart as she remembered that she and Daniel had been planning to look for a house. How much she’d been looking forward to having her own backyard and garden. That wasn’t going to happen now. But no use brooding over it, there were more important things to be concerned about, like Daniel sorting himself out. If he did that, they’d be more likely to get a house anyway.
She turned and walked back inside. Lizzy would have been happy to stay here if it wasn’t for Father. But at least now she understood him a little better. But would he understand what she’d done when she saw him later today? Only time would tell.
Lizzy filled the rest of the day with menial tasks such as calling the hospital and washing, but she did spend some time at the piano, playing tunes she thought she’d forgotten, but which came back easily once she began.
Even as she sat and let the music pour through her fingers, Lizzy worried about her Father’s reaction, and even more, how Daniel was doing.
Lizzy woke from a nap to voices filtering up from the kitchen. Father. Her heart beat faster, and although tempted to pull the covers up and go back to sleep, Lizzy got up and went to the bathroom.
She splashed her face with warm water, and brushed her hair before pulling it back into a messy bun. That would have to do. She looked at herself in the mirror and took a deep breath. ‘Okay, this is it, God. Please be with me. Give me patience and understanding, even if he doesn’t have any.’
“Elizabeth. Your mother has just told me. It’s about time you left that good for nothing Irishman.” Lizzy looked at her father standing in the kitchen and felt nothing but pity for him. Hiding in there somewhere had to be love and compassion. She’d seen i
t in the photos with Mathew’s mother, but it certainly wasn’t evident now.
“Nice to see you too, Father.” Lizzy held his gaze, waiting to see if he’d realise how cold his words had been.
“I’m sorry, Elizabeth. How are you?” Roger shifted his weight and crossed his arms. His ever so slight smile appeared forced.
“That’s better. I’m fine, thank you Father.” Lizzy walked up to him and placed a kiss on his cheek. If it made him squirm, she didn’t care.
She glanced at her mother, and drew on the strength she’d gained from their rediscovered relationship.
“I’ll make coffee for us all, shall I?” Lizzy looked from one parent to the other, and then busied herself under their gaze, far less confident than she looked. Father was not going to bully her anymore if she could help it.
“So, what did Mother tell you?” Lizzy asked as she handed a tray holding the mugs of steaming coffee to her father. He looked uncomfortable, but took it anyway.
“She said you arrived on the doorstep unannounced yesterday afternoon, and that you’d left Daniel.”
“Did she also tell you it wasn’t permanent?” Lizzy raised her eyebrows as she took a seat in the sunroom.
“Ah, she did mention something like that.” Roger sat stiffly in his chair and glared at Lizzy. “You’d be daft if you went back.”
Lizzy shook her head and sipped her coffee.
“I know you don’t understand, Father, but I love him, and I do plan to go back. He just needs time to sort some things out.”
“Yes, you’re right. I don’t understand. You could have had anyone you wanted, and you chose him.” Roger’s eyes narrowed. “You’ve thrown your life away, Elizabeth. After everything we’ve done for you, and this is what we get in return.” He shook his head in disgust. “First you go off teaching, and then you get hooked up with this good for nothing character, and now you’re having his child, I really don’t understand.” He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.
The Shadows Trilogy Box Set: A Christian Romance Page 16