Getting Out

by Afton Brinkman

  “I know Tess, we don’t want to break up. We were talking about it and somehow it turned into a nasty fight because I didn’t say ‘I love you’.”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “So say it.”

  “Yeah I know.”

  She grabbed one of my dangling feet and shook it gently. “It will be okay chic. Have you talked to him since your fight? I didn’t see him today.”

  “Oh that’s the other thing, he is giving me the silent treatment. He doesn’t come to school, then he doesn’t answer any of my calls or texts. I had to call his mom!”

  “Ouch”

  “Right?!”

  I tossed and turned most of the night thinking about Charlie. Just when I felt myself start to doze off, my phone woke me. Seeing Charlie’s name flash on the screen, I answered it before it went to voicemail. It was loud on his end, wherever he was, all I could hear was people and music. “Charlie.” There was no answer for a minute, just the loud noises. He sounded like he was at a party. “Charlie.” I said louder.

  “You don’t love me.”

  “Charlie where the hell are you?”

  “Why did you even be with me in the first place if you knewd you never going to luff me.”

  “Are you drunk?”

  “Maybe whatss its matter?”

  “Charlie where are you? I am going to come get you.” I began to get dressed.

  “No don’t come here, I don’t want you to.”

  “Why not? We need to talk, tell me where you are.” I heard a muffling noise and then a girl laughing in the background

  “C’mon Charlie come do a body shot off of me.” I was instantly pissed.

  “What the fuck was that? Are you cheating on me?”

  “It doesn’t matter anymore…it never did.”

  “Your drunk, just let me come get you please.”

  “I have to go now, my friends that actually do love me are waiting for me,” he slurred. My eyes were burning with tears.

  “Charlie I…and before I could get the words out he ended the call. I slumped down to the floor and leaned against the door. I let the tears fall from my eyes. I was so unbelievably in love with him. It hurt so much. Why didn’t I just say it? He finally got tired of my shit and now he was off cheating on me with some skank. My phone beeped in my hand and I opened the text.

  Charlie: I can’t do this anymore Ashton it hurts too much.

  Me: Please let me come get you!! I hurt too please let me come and I promise I will make it all go away please Charlie.

  Charlie: I need you please make it stop hurting.

  Me: I will where are you baby?

  Charlie: Zach’s.

  Me: I’m on my way.

  Zach was having a party? Tess hadn’t said anything about it. I shook her awake. “Tess wake up, Charlie is over at Zach’s and he is drunk. Why didn’t you tell me they were having a party tonight?”

  She blinked sleepily at me “A party? What are you talking about?”

  “Come on get dressed, I have to go pick him up.”

  We pulled up to Zach house where the party was in full swing. My eyes scanned the area for my boyfriend; god I hoped he still was my boyfriend. A couple JV hockey players were standing outside. I recognized one of them so headed in that direction.

  “Hey Ryan, have you seen Charlie around?”

  “Last I seen him, he was inside.”

  “Thanks.” Tess and I walked inside. We split up, she went to find Zach and I went looking for Charlie. He was not anywhere downstairs and then a sick feeling crept up my throat; what if he was upstairs with somebody. Jealousy started pumping through my veins as I went from room to room not caring who I walked in on. I finally found him in what I assumed was Zach’s room. He was sitting on the bed with his head in his hands; thankfully he was alone. Walking inside, I closed the door and sat down next to him.

  “I love you so much,” he said without raising his head. His voice was laced with so much pain it broke my heart that I was doing this to him. I swallowed, it was now or never, he needed to hear the words and I needed say them.

  “I...L- love you too Charlie,” I said quietly. He raised his head and looked at me. Like really looked at me. Tears rolled down my cheeks but he wiped them away with his thumbs.

  “I know I am wasted right now but I really don’t want this to be a dream.”

  “It’s not a dream, I am right here and I love you.” This time I said it with much more conviction.

  “I should have waited till you were sober to say it, you probably won’t even remember this tomorrow.”

  “I could never forget it, this was the best and worst night of my life.” He hugged me tight. We sat like that for a little while, just holding each other. Both completely, emotionally spent.

  “Come on let’s get out of here.”

  I needed to find Tess before leaving. Just as we were walking out of the room my phone vibrated in my pocket.

  Tess: Where are you? I need to get the fuck out of here!!!!

  Me: Meet at my car

  We weaved our way out the door and made it to my car. Tess was already inside she had makeup running down her face. Charlie got in the back and I got in the driver’s seat.

  “Tess what happened?” In between sniffles, she was finally able to speak.

  “I found Zach. He had some cheerleader straddling him and they were making out on the couch in front of everyone!! I feel so stupid.” I glanced in the back and Charlie had a solemn look on his face. I couldn’t believe Zach cheated, he always seemed so crazy about Tess.

  “I’m sorry Tess that sucks, you want me to go back in there and kick him in the nuts because I totally will.”

  That got a little smile out of her as she wiped her eyes. “I hope he gets herpes from that nasty ho bag.”

  Charlie was falling asleep pretty much the whole way back. I dropped Tess off and was now taking him home. I pulled in the back hoping that I wouldn’t wake up Anna.

  “Come on Charlie, you’re home.” I quietly unlocked the back door and helped him up the stairs. He flopped on his bed, half his long body on, the other half hanging off. I took his shoes off and then covered him up with the blanket.

  He gently clutched my arm. “Stay with me please.”

  It didn’t take me long to make that decision. I closed his bedroom door, kicked my shoes off, and pulled my sweater off, and then crawled under the comforter, into Charlie’s waiting arms. He wrapped me up and kissed the top of my head.

  “I love you.” I smiled against his chest.

  “I love you too.” Scooting down he looked me in the eyes.

  “Say it again.”

  “I love you.”

  He released a breath and then kissed me. “Thank you.”

  I fell asleep that night wrapped up in my boyfriend’s arms. I had never felt so safe and utterly happy. Saying the words to him had lifted a weight from my chest.

  THE MORNING sun had peeked through the blinds and woke me. I was flattened against Charlie’s bare chest. I breathed in his skin and sighed contently. Turning over in his arms, I glanced at the alarm clock on his night stand that read 7:43.

  “Shit, Charlie get up we are so late.” Pushing off and away from him I shot up from the bed and attempted to find my shoes. Charlie slowly sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Balancing on one leg, I was able to get one shoe on. The other was still missing. He just sat there watching me with a dumb grin on his face.

  “What are you doing? Get up we are so late and I am going to be in such deep shit.” Digging in my sweater pocket I found my cell. I was about to text Tess but there was already a text from her sent over an hour ago.

  Tess: I covered for you. See you at school. That bastard better not even try and talk to me.

  Yup, best freaking friend ever! With that end covered I was on my way to the bathroom when I stopped suddenly and went back into Charlie’s room.

  “Your mom is going to kill us.”

  He was pulling on a pair
of jeans “No, she won’t like the idea that you stayed over without us talking to her first, but I don’t think she will be mad.” I went to the bathroom and ran my hands under the faucet throwing my hair back into a somewhat manageable ponytail. I washed my face and without even thinking I grabbed Charlie’s tooth brush and started brushing my teeth. He sauntered in and wrapped his arms around me looking at me over my shoulder in the mirror.

  “You know I could get used to this,” he said kissing my shoulder. “Waking up with you in my bed and getting ready with you like this… I kind of like it.”

  I spit and rinsed my mouth “You’re crazy.” I turned and handed him his toothbrush with a smug grin.

  He eyed it and shook his head. “Guess I need to buy a spare one in case this happens again?”

  “No, yours worked fine, thanks.” When we made it downstairs there was a note on the table.

  Next time ask before you have a slumber party! And by the way I hope you kids are being safe because I am too young to be a grandmother right now.

  Love Mom

  On the drive to school I decided to ask him about yesterday. “So yesterday…. you were gone all day and you didn’t answer any of my calls.”

  “I had to go to Portland, I had some appointments.”

  “Yeah I know, your mom told me.” He stayed quiet.

  “So what kind of appointments?”

  Pulling into the parking lot, he turned the truck off and grabbed his back pack out of the back seat. “Come on we are already late.”

  There was something he wasn’t telling me. I got out of the truck and grabbed his arm. “What kind of appointments Charlie?”

  He ran his hand over the back of his neck and looked around. “I had a meeting with the coach of the Portland Pirates yesterday.” The Pirates were the local AHL team. Why would he have a meeting with an AHL coach?

  “But I thought you wanted to play college hockey?”

  He shook his head. “My dad is trying to control every move I make towards a hockey career. I just wanted to try and take matters into my own hands. I thought if I got a spot on the Portland team then I could stay here and be close to mom and you and I could get a place in Portland after we graduate.”

  My eyes bugged out of my head. I couldn’t believe he had thought all this out. He wanted to play hockey in the AHL and he wanted us to live together after graduation? I suddenly felt dizzy. “I think I need to sit down.”

  “I was going to talk to you about all this stuff later. Nothing is set in stone, it was just a meeting Ashton, you don’t need to freak out.” But I was freaking out! I mean, I had just told him I loved him. That was a big enough thing for me to conquer and now he went and planned our whole future out. Why did it always seem like our relationship had been put on the fast track? It was like this since the moment we met, this thing with us had been so intense and both of us were powerless to stop it. It was like a moving train and we were just along for the ride.

  “We are late, let’s talk about all this later,” I said as we walked into school.

  The day was awkward. Zach and Tess were not speaking and everyone seemed to be gossiping about them. I told Charlie to go sit with Zach during lunch because he looked like hell. Tess on the other hand had gone all out on her appearance. She wanted him to regret what he did and I know for sure he was. I didn’t know if it was just a onetime drunken mistake or if he had been cheating the whole time. Tess didn’t even want to hear what he had to say, she said she knew all she needed to know. Tess was a wonderful friend and an even better girlfriend, but if you got on her bad side, let’s just say it was a side that you did not want to be on. She was the type of girl that could be your best friend or your worst enemy and right now Zach was the enemy. She was talking my ear off about anything but the situation when Noah walked in, our eyes locked and he headed in my direction. I knew we needed to talk but I also knew Charlie was going to flip out. Charlie seen him walking over in my direction and he raised from the table, meeting him half way I got up and stepped in between them.

  “This kid must have a death wish. What? I didn’t hit you hard enough at homecoming? You want some more?”

  I pushed Charlie’s hard chest back a little. “Charlie stop, I am so sick of this shit between you two.”

  “I just wanted to talk, okay? To both of you, actually. I wanted to say I am sorry.”

  Charlie made a snorting noise. “Yeah, sorry you got your ass kicked.”

  “Charlie stop.”

  “Ashton you can’t tell me you believe this crap. This is what he does. He keeps messing up and then pulls the apologies out and you always automatically forgive him. Please tell me how many chances does he get to break us up?”

  Shaking my head, I couldn’t believe I was in this situation. “Noah I will talk to you later.” He gave a curt nod before leaving the room.

  “As for you,” I said pointing my finger into his chest. “You need to cool it, okay? We get it. You are my big strong man, everyone knows, I am yours so enough with the caveman act.”

  “Whatever, this is bullshit. I am so sick of that kid and the so called friendship you feel like you have to have with him. You expect me to just stand back and let him hit on my girlfriend? You expect me to accept this and yet I get my ass reamed for glancing in Jaimie’s direction. She is my friend and she has been a hell of a lot longer than Noah has been yours. Shouldn’t I expect the same courtesy from you?”

  “I don’t have a history of fucking Noah do I??” It was a low blow and my tone was cold as ice but I was irritated with how he was coming at me. His face fell but I wasn’t going to let that bother me. Without either of us saying anything else I left the room. I didn’t see him for the rest of the day.

  I knew Charlie had weight lifting practice after school so I ventured into the end of the gym, where a small doorway led to the weight room. He was on the bench press lifting while Zach spotted him. All his muscles were flexing and he had a sexy sweat gleam all over him. I leaned against the doorframe and just took in the sight. It wasn’t every day I was able to witness a beautiful male specimen like Charlie Ingram working out. He grunted and set the weight back onto its cradle before sitting up, his chest heaved with heavy breaths and his empty stare was looking straight in front of him before his eyes shifted and he caught sight of me. His eyes always said so much; they were the most expressive part of him and looking into them right now, all I wanted was to go to him. “Zach can we have a minute alone?” Zach shot me an annoyed look before stalking out of the room.

  “What’s his problem?” I pushed from the door and entered the room, stopping directly in front of Charlie as he sat on the weight bench. He was in basketball shorts and a grey cut off; he looked really hot.

  He ran his hands up the length of the back of my legs, stopping just under my butt. “He is pissed over the break up. Don’t take it personally, he hates all females right now.” He rested his head against my stomach and breathed in as he cupped my backside. I rested my hands on the sides of his head and gently combed my fingers through his hair. Raising his head and looking at me with those eyes, I could see his vulnerability.

  “I am sorry I get jealous Ash, but I can’t help it. I don’t want to lose you, especially to some other guy.”

  Holding his face in my hands, I gently rubbed his cheeks with my thumbs. “I don’t know what else I can do to show you how completely owned I am by you. I told you I love you. Do you understand how hard that was for me? I have never said it to anyone before. That’s how special you are to me. I don’t want to be with Noah or anyone else, just you.” I bent down and kissed his lips. I had meant just for it to be a quick peck to drive my point home. Charlie had a different idea, he pulled me close to him and I had to part my legs and straddle him while he still sat on the bench. His big hands started roaming on my back under my shirt. I laughed against his mouth and pulled away. “Charlie stop, anybody could walk in.”

  “I don’t care.” His lips had moved from mine to my j
aw and neck.

  I put my arms around his neck and pulled our bodies closer together, feeling lost in what he was doing to me with his mouth. “Charlie take me to your house.”

  He picked me up with my legs wrapped around him. “Good idea.”

  TIME WAS flying by and I was not used to it. Normally my life dragged on and on and time seemed to stand still. That was my old life. My new life was jam packed full and I found myself loving pretty much every minute of it. Today was Thanksgiving and Charlie had invited Tess and I, over for the holiday. Anna and her sister had gone all out and prepared quite the spread so the entire house was filled with friendly voices and amazing smells. We ate at a beautifully decorated table and the food was delicious. Charlie’s cell phone kept on ringing throughout the day but every time he would just glance at it and then put it back into his pocket. I had spent almost two hours on the phone with Dee on Thanksgiving. She loved the Macy’s parade and the dog show, so we watched it together. All throughout our conversation I kept hearing her clearing her throat and taking deep breaths like she couldn’t catch her breathe.

  “You doing alright over there?”

  “Yes Ashton, I am fine.”

  “You sure? You sound out of breath. When was the last time you went and had a checkup?” There was a long pause on the other end before she answered.

  “I am fine so stop your fussing.” Okay, time to get tough with my old bird.

  “Dee I am serious, you are important to me and I need you around for a while longer, you need to take care of yourself.”

  “Listen to you scolding me like a child. I told you I am fine, now drop it.” Her tone had gone cold and I knew our conversation, on the topic of her health, had reached its end, so for now I let it drop.

  After dinner, Tess and I had insisted on doing the cleanup, volunteering Charlie whether he wanted to or not. We kicked Anna and her sister, Maggie, out of the kitchen and told them both to go relax in the living room with the kids. Tess was putting left overs into containers and Charlie and I were doing the dishes when there was a knock at the door. Getting up from the couch Anna answered it. “Jaimie, Zach happy Thanksgiving!” She embraced them both in a hug before they entered fully into the house. Jaimie’s eyes found me standing in the kitchen next to Charlie and I could see the hatred she held for me. Zach just stood there looking at Tess as she continued to ignore his existence. Jaimie sauntered up to where Charlie stood by me at the kitchen sink and opened her arms.